Author Topic: So funny I had to post  (Read 668151 times)

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Online bob3160

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #1980 on: March 12, 2021, 11:09:27 PM »
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Offline CraigB

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #1981 on: April 18, 2021, 09:12:51 PM »
Gut vs Balls

There is a psychological distinction between Guts and Balls.

We've heard colleagues referring to people with Guts, or with Balls. Do they, however, know the difference between them?

Here's the official distinction; straight from the British Psychology Dictionary: Volume 323; page 295.

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: "You're next, Chubby".

I trust this clears up any confusion.

Psychologically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome; both are fatal.

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #1982 on: May 03, 2021, 09:01:49 PM »
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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #1983 on: May 06, 2021, 01:36:44 PM »
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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #1984 on: May 06, 2021, 01:39:45 PM »
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Offline Pondus

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #1985 on: May 07, 2021, 11:26:52 AM »

Offline CraigB

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #1986 on: May 09, 2021, 11:51:11 AM »
Us Oldies Are Responsible For Rubbishing The Environment

WOW! - HOW THE "GREY HAIRED" HAVE DESTROYED OUR PLANET

Checking out at the supermarket, the young cashier suggested to the much older woman that reusable grocery bags were a good idea as plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this 'green thing back in my earlier days."

The young cashier responded, "That's Our problem today - your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations.”

She was right — our generation didn't have the 'green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, lemonade bottles and beer bottles to the shop.
The shop sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.

Grocery shops bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we re-used for numerous things, most memorable besides household bags for rubbish, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks.
This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school), was not defaced by our scribbling. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have a lift in every supermarket, shop and office building.

We walked to the local shop and didn't climb into a 300 horsepower machine every time we had to go half a mile.

Back then, we washed the baby's Terry Toweling nappies because we didn't have the throw away kind.

We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 3 kilowatts — wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days.

Kids had hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

Back then, we had one radio or TV in the house - not a TV in every room and the TV had a small screen the size of a big handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of Arran In the kitchen.

We blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us.

When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the lawn. We pushed the mower that ran on human power.

We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right; we didn't have the "green thing" back then.

We drank from a tap or fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.

We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

Back then, people took the bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their Mums into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's £40,000 People Carrier which cost the same as a whole house did before the "green thing."

We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances and we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pub!

But isn't it sad that some of the current generation lament how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the "green thing" back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart arsed young person...

We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off...especially when the “advice” is being offered by a tattooed, multiple pierced smartarse who can't work out the change without the cash register telling them how much it is!

RANT OVER!!!!!
« Last Edit: May 09, 2021, 11:53:11 AM by CraigB »