I installed Zone Alarm and after configuing a few things (yikes!), it seems to be helping. I had to tell it not to send out messages with .exe endings, and that caused a problem, cuz there are several programs that use that. But I was able to see when the explorer.exe one tried to send - and block it. Now those timeout messages are gone.
However, I have a different problem. Now when I'm shopping online, it won't let me check out of any website, like Amazon. I had a shopping cart full of stuff saved there, and when I add an item, it removes everything else that was there. And when I try to check, it thinks the cart is empty. Is there something in Zone Alarm I need to change to get it to leave this stuff alone?