is there some kind of probation period on this forum? I am locked out of most things and i can't read any user pages or anything
Yes, as a newbie there are things that you can't do, if by "i can't read any user pages" you mean user profiles, I think that is off limits.
also how do i fix the time on the forum? the forum says its 1:40 am on april 1 but its on 9:10 pm on march 31
I think you should be able to set this in your Profile > Modify Profile > Look & Layout - Time Format: and Time Offset: (you could try the Auto Detect for the Time Offset.
The above is a bit speculative as I don't know if this is covered by the newbie (less than 20 post) restrictions or not.