Although the only apple product i use is itunes (i download it from the website so i can install it without quicktime), i must admit i see no problem with the way the apple update works at the moment as its not installed by default, only checked under new software.
All that has to be done to avoid "accidental" install is to read, i mean common i have heard of not reading the fine print, but some people don't even read the big print.....
--lee