Author Topic: So funny I had to post  (Read 937907 times)

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Offline CraigB

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1515 on: August 28, 2016, 12:24:53 PM »
A bloke was having a few drinks by himself at a Sydney casino when he met up with a striking but quite short and slim young woman.

They got on famously and ended up in bed.

The next morning she told him she was a jockey and that if he came to the races at Randwick that day, she'd tip him the winner of each race in which she was riding by giving him a sign as she rode out of the saddling paddock.
 
In Race 2, she rode out rubbing both her boobs.
 
The bloke looked through the race book and found 'Two Abreast' on which he placed $100 at 5-1.

 It won by two lengths.

 In Race 4 she rode out rubbing her fingers round her eyes.

 He put the lot on 'Eyeliner' at 10-1 and was then $5000 in front.

 In the last race she came out standing up in the stirrups and rubbing her crotch.

 He backed nothing.

 After the races, he met up with her and thanked her for the winners in races 2 and 4.

 'What about 'Itchy Mickey' in the last race?', she asked. 'It paid a fortune.’

 'Shit', he said, 'I thought you were telling me the favourite was scratched!'

Offline DavidR

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1516 on: August 30, 2016, 05:50:41 PM »
Well there wasn't a watch or do this if you dare topic (scary stuff) - totally amazing - totally crazy more like.

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/daredevil-unicyclist-performs-top-giant-135009088.html
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Offline mchain

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1517 on: August 30, 2016, 06:01:18 PM »
Well there wasn't a watch or do this if you dare topic (scary stuff) - totally amazing - totally crazy more like.

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/daredevil-unicyclist-performs-top-giant-135009088.html
Kinda a fail-safe as if either had fallen the other would've still posted anyway.
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Offline CraigB

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1518 on: September 06, 2016, 12:45:08 PM »
Two Irish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it. "Two dogs, please," said one.

The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs.'

The mother superior was first to open hers, stared at it for a moment, then leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"

Offline =Snake=

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1519 on: September 09, 2016, 10:32:01 PM »

Hope somebody got the meaning of .........
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Offline Secondmineboy

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1520 on: September 11, 2016, 04:25:08 PM »
A pirate walks into a bar, and has a steering wheel stuck to his manhood.
after serving him a drink the bartender says "excuse me sir, but i cant help but notice, you have a steering wheel in your crotch."
to which the pirate replies: "arr.. and it's drivin' me' nuts."
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Offline Rednose

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1521 on: September 12, 2016, 01:59:58 PM »
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1522 on: September 12, 2016, 02:45:23 PM »
From the forum :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9yArbiAHHY

FYI that video sounded like it was a machine talking..
I thought 4600 views for an instructional video was pretty good. :)

Poor Bob  ;D ;D ;D

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Offline Rednose

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1523 on: September 12, 2016, 11:29:55 PM »
Nothing wrong with the video Bob, but you have a remarkable accent / way of speaking.
Not like a robot, but that made the comment funny ;)

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Offline bob3160

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1524 on: September 12, 2016, 11:39:33 PM »
Nothing wrong with the video Bob, but you have a remarkable accent / way of speaking.
Not like a robot, but that made the comment funny ;)

Greetz, Red.
Maybe that's why I keep getting asked back for more ??? :)
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1525 on: September 16, 2016, 10:42:13 PM »
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1526 on: September 20, 2016, 03:13:14 PM »

And who said you don't learn anything from Facebook ???
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Offline mchain

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1527 on: September 26, 2016, 11:22:12 PM »
Maybe some old, some new?   ;D
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Offline DavidR

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1528 on: September 27, 2016, 12:17:46 AM »
I liked the F1 F1 F1, one, how many would remember it was the Help shortcut.

I thought the 2nd one (before expanding the image) was going to be the AnyKey.
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Offline =Snake=

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1529 on: September 27, 2016, 11:40:54 AM »
The last screenshot is the best, I think. But navigating a flying object with trial software is really risky, isn't it?
 ;)
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