Author Topic: So funny I had to post  (Read 811518 times)

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Offline Asyn

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2040 on: December 24, 2021, 04:38:10 PM »

Have a Merry Christmas.🎅🎅🎅
LOL
Merry Christmas (to the ones who celebrate) and Happy Holidays..!! :)
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Offline bob3160

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2041 on: December 31, 2021, 01:41:54 PM »

Have a great 2022 🎆
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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2042 on: January 01, 2022, 01:33:54 AM »

Tech Humor

https://youtu.be/8_suwgtPm2Q
Smile it's good for you.
End the year with a smile.

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Offline alanb

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2043 on: January 01, 2022, 02:26:18 PM »
New Years Resolution

Offline bob3160

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2044 on: January 01, 2022, 02:28:01 PM »
New Years Resolution
There's prostate medicine for that. :)
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Offline alanb

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2045 on: January 01, 2022, 02:31:06 PM »
New Years Resolution
There's prostate medicine for that. :)

 ;D ;D

Happy New Year Bob!

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2046 on: January 01, 2022, 03:15:17 PM »
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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2047 on: January 03, 2022, 10:07:39 PM »
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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2048 on: January 03, 2022, 10:11:00 PM »
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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2049 on: January 04, 2022, 09:14:12 PM »

Matrimonial Advice

https://youtu.be/6YzlC0lzNC4
A look at the lighter side of marriage.
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Offline CraigB

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2050 on: January 12, 2022, 05:15:52 AM »
HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is claimed to be an actual question in an exam given on University of Arizona chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in by a student.  Even if you are sceptical about its voracity - you have to admit it is clever

The Question was  : Is Hell likely to be exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?


The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:-

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God!'"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

Offline CraigB

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2051 on: January 12, 2022, 05:18:19 AM »
A news release from the Government states that as part of their motoring safety drive, they intend fining drivers $100 who fail to parallel park or reverse properly.

That seems rather sexist to me.

Offline CraigB

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2052 on: January 12, 2022, 05:21:23 AM »
It snowed last night...

8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 - The transgender man.. women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .
8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from BBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

By noon it all melted

Moral:
There is no moral to this story. It is what this Country has become .... and all because of snowflakes.. ❄

Offline bob3160

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2053 on: January 12, 2022, 02:21:55 PM »
 :) :) :)  It would be even funnier if this isn't what's actually the reality.
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Offline Asyn

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Re: So funny I had to post
« Reply #2054 on: January 12, 2022, 02:32:26 PM »
HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is claimed to be an actual question in an exam given on University of Arizona chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in by a student.  Even if you are sceptical about its voracity - you have to admit it is clever

The Question was  : Is Hell likely to be exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?


The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:-

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God!'"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
;D Good one, thanks for sharing.
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