Author Topic: So funny I had to post  (Read 946989 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline bob3160

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Probably Bot
  • *****
  • Posts: 48553
  • 64 Years of Happiness
    • bob3160 Protecting Yourself, Your Computer and, Your Identity
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #615 on: October 17, 2013, 03:58:18 PM »

Underwear Dust
BEWARE OF THAT UNDERWEAR DUST!
Description: CF62CCD1E4744DC7811C6C4790F5D0C1@alisonPC


One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

'
Donna', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'

She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!
Free Security Seminar: https://bit.ly/bobg2023  -  Important: http://www.organdonor.gov/ -- My Web Site: http://bob3160.strikingly.com/ - Win 11 Pro v22H2 64bit, 16 Gig Ram, 1TB SSD, Avast Free 23.5.6066, How to Successfully Install Avast http://goo.gl/VLXdeRepair & Clean Install https://goo.gl/t7aJGq -- My Online Activity https://bit.ly/BobGInternet

Offline Pondus

  • Probably Bot
  • ****
  • Posts: 37527
  • Not a avast user
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #616 on: October 18, 2013, 06:50:40 PM »

Offline CraigB

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Serious Graphoman
  • *****
  • Posts: 11239
  • No support PM's thanks
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #617 on: October 18, 2013, 06:58:48 PM »
Samsung
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxEIe-FCoKM
I was initially thinking that is the fattest bear I have ever seen :o then he stood up and undressed ;D

Offline SpeedyPC

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Massive Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 3398
  • Avast shall conquer the whole world
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #618 on: October 19, 2013, 05:39:04 AM »
Samsung
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxEIe-FCoKM
I was initially thinking that is the fattest bear I have ever seen :o then he stood up and undressed ;D

Isn't that Yogi Bear the smartest bear knows how to used a side load washing machine ;D ;D
Gigabyte 670 LGA1200 Full ATX MB | Intel Core i9-13900 CPU/LGA 1700 | GeForce Nvidia RTX-4070/12GB | 32GB DDR4 | 2 x 1TB Samsung SSD | W11 Home 64bit | Avast Premium v24.3.6108 | Avast SecureLine VPN | Avast Secure Browser | Avast Driver Updater | Avast BreachGuard | Firefox 64bit | MalwareBytes Premium | Adguard Premium | CCleaner Portable | Macrium Reflect | 7-Zip

Offline Pondus

  • Probably Bot
  • ****
  • Posts: 37527
  • Not a avast user
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #619 on: October 28, 2013, 02:22:26 PM »
funerals can be expensive.... so then DIY   ;D

Offline DavidR

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Certainly Bot
  • *****
  • Posts: 89034
  • No support PMs thanks
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #620 on: October 28, 2013, 02:37:20 PM »
funerals can be expensive.... so then DIY   ;D

Way to go, atop a mustard coloured Fiat.

I would be dead embarrassed ;D
Windows 10 Home 64bit/ Acer Aspire F15/ Intel Core i5 7200U 2.5GHz, 8GB DDR4 memory, 256GB SSD, 1TB HDD/ avast! free 24.3.6108 (build 24.3.8975.762) UI 1.0.801/ Firefox, uBlock Origin, uMatrix/ MailWasher Pro/ Avast! Mobile Security

Offline bob3160

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Probably Bot
  • *****
  • Posts: 48553
  • 64 Years of Happiness
    • bob3160 Protecting Yourself, Your Computer and, Your Identity
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #621 on: October 30, 2013, 12:30:26 AM »

1962 vs. 2012 (a span of only 50 YEARS)


1962: Long hair
2012: Longing for hair


1962: KEG
2012: EKG


1962: Acid rock
2012: Acid reflux


1962: Moving to California because it's cool
2012: Moving to Arizona because it's warm


1962: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2012: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
 
1962: Seeds and stems
2012: Roughage
 
1962: Hoping for a BMW
2012: Hoping for a BM
 
1962: Going to a new, hip joint
2012: Receiving a new hip joint
 
1962: Rolling Stones
2012: Kidney Stones


1962: Passing the drivers' test
2012: Passing the vision test
Free Security Seminar: https://bit.ly/bobg2023  -  Important: http://www.organdonor.gov/ -- My Web Site: http://bob3160.strikingly.com/ - Win 11 Pro v22H2 64bit, 16 Gig Ram, 1TB SSD, Avast Free 23.5.6066, How to Successfully Install Avast http://goo.gl/VLXdeRepair & Clean Install https://goo.gl/t7aJGq -- My Online Activity https://bit.ly/BobGInternet

Offline mchain

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Ultra Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 5604
  • Spartan Warrior
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #622 on: October 30, 2013, 06:32:12 PM »
Here's a pic of one of our most reputable and long-standing members.

See attached .jpg below:
Windows 10 Home 64-bit 22H2 Avast Premier Security version 24.1.6099 (build 24.1.88821.762)  UI version 1.0.797
 UI version 1.0.788.  Windows 11 Home 23H2 - Windows 11 Pro 23H2 Avast Premier Security version 24.2.6105 (build 24.1.8918.827) UI version 1.0.801

Offline Para-Noid

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Starting Graphoman
  • ***
  • Posts: 6700
  • Trust only what you test yourself!
Dell Inspiron, Win10x64--HP Envy Win10x64--Both systems Avast Free v17.9.2322, Comodo Firewall v8.2 w/D+, MalwareBytes v3.0, OpenDNS, Super Anti-Spyware, Spyware Blaster, MCShield, Unchecky, Vivaldi Browser and, various browser security tools.

"Look before you leap!" Use online scanners before you click on any link.

Offline bob3160

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Probably Bot
  • *****
  • Posts: 48553
  • 64 Years of Happiness
    • bob3160 Protecting Yourself, Your Computer and, Your Identity
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #624 on: November 12, 2013, 01:09:39 PM »
Treadmill Dancing Fool


http://youtu.be/941oW2EodGs
Free Security Seminar: https://bit.ly/bobg2023  -  Important: http://www.organdonor.gov/ -- My Web Site: http://bob3160.strikingly.com/ - Win 11 Pro v22H2 64bit, 16 Gig Ram, 1TB SSD, Avast Free 23.5.6066, How to Successfully Install Avast http://goo.gl/VLXdeRepair & Clean Install https://goo.gl/t7aJGq -- My Online Activity https://bit.ly/BobGInternet

Offline nanajana

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 375
  • Health is Wealth
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #625 on: November 13, 2013, 09:48:58 PM »
I think this applies to all Governments, lol! :)  And a little something attached for all us Canadians & anyybody else who has heard about our infamous Mayor of Toronto, & Senator Mike Duffy!

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.

Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny..

He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. '

The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'

The little boy replies, 'The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and
the Future is in deep s**t.'
« Last Edit: November 13, 2013, 09:54:29 PM by nanajana »
I love this forum, with all its extremely knowledgeable personnel!

Offline nanajana

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 375
  • Health is Wealth
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #626 on: November 15, 2013, 02:48:38 AM »
PUNOGRAPHY - Fun with Puns

 I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

· When chemists die, they barium.

· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

· A dyslexic man walks into a bra .

· PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

· Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

· Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory-- I hope there's no pop quiz.

· The Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.

· The old man didn't like his beard at first. Then it grew on him.

· Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

· What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

· I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

· Broken pencils are pointless.

· What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

· All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

· I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

· Velcro - what a rip off!

· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

· Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

· Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

· I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
I love this forum, with all its extremely knowledgeable personnel!

Offline mchain

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Ultra Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 5604
  • Spartan Warrior
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #627 on: November 15, 2013, 07:53:55 PM »
My head is reeling and aches!  Got Puns?
Windows 10 Home 64-bit 22H2 Avast Premier Security version 24.1.6099 (build 24.1.88821.762)  UI version 1.0.797
 UI version 1.0.788.  Windows 11 Home 23H2 - Windows 11 Pro 23H2 Avast Premier Security version 24.2.6105 (build 24.1.8918.827) UI version 1.0.801

Offline MikeBCda

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Super Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 2247
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #628 on: November 16, 2013, 09:36:34 AM »
Heavy philosophy -- well, sorta -- for the day:

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
-- a "tip" from the Zuma Deluxe game

Try not to stay up all night pondering this!  8) ;D
Intel Atom D2700, 2 gig RAM, Win 7 x64 SP1 & IE-11, Firefox 51.0
(default). 320 gig HD, 15Mb DSL, Win firewall, Avast 12.3.2280 free, SpywareBlaster, MBAM Prem., Crypto-Prevent

Offline Pondus

  • Probably Bot
  • ****
  • Posts: 37527
  • Not a avast user
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #629 on: November 21, 2013, 10:26:38 PM »
small mistake, landed on wrong airport.....a very small airport

http://edition.cnn.com/2013/11/21/travel/kansas-cargo-plane-wrong-airport/