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Author Topic: So funny I had to post  (Read 947563 times)

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Offline Para-Noid

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1065 on: January 27, 2015, 10:39:43 PM »
What problem?

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Offline DavidR

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1066 on: January 27, 2015, 11:51:01 PM »
Quote from: Para-Noid on January 27, 2015, 10:39:43 PM
What problem?

Water in the carburettor.
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Offline Eddy

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1067 on: January 28, 2015, 11:00:13 AM »
WOW! Really nice piece of engineering.
A waterplane that can submerge.
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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1068 on: January 28, 2015, 05:44:39 PM »
Naaahh ! James Bond had it in the 70's... ooops! Sorry that was a car ;D
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Offline Pondus

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1069 on: January 31, 2015, 12:58:40 PM »
not funny but amazing   Robbin Hood  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEG-ly9tQGk

Martial arts movie audition   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHUwtKBcS7E     ;D


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Offline CraigB

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1070 on: February 01, 2015, 08:22:29 PM »
The High & dry Tavern

Two rather gorgeous girls came into the lounge bar and I noticed that one of them kept glancing at me.

Fortunately I had got my hearings aids turned up on turbo boost and was able to hear her whisper to her friend "nine"

I was rather chuffed and said to our barmaid that I obviously hadn't lost my touch with the ladies - that gorgeous girl over there has just rated me nine out of ten.

She said "I don't want to spoil it for you - but when I served them drinks - they were speaking German "...............
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1071 on: February 02, 2015, 04:48:47 PM »
Quote from: CraigB on February 01, 2015, 08:22:29 PM
The High & dry Tavern

Two rather gorgeous girls came into the lounge bar and I noticed that one of them kept glancing at me.

Fortunately I had got my hearings aids turned up on turbo boost and was able to hear her whisper to her friend "nine"

I was rather chuffed and said to our barmaid that I obviously hadn't lost my touch with the ladies - that gorgeous girl over there has just rated me nine out of ten.

She said "I don't want to spoil it for you - but when I served them drinks - they were speaking German "...............
Ach du lieber :)
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Offline CraigB

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1072 on: February 03, 2015, 05:24:33 PM »
A Few Funnies That Should Be Taken In Good Humour

Low Battery
A man saved his girlfriend’s phone number on his mobile as "Low Battery."
Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger.
Give that man a medal.
 
Government Survey
A government survey has shown that 91 percent of illegal immigrants come to the U.K.  so that they can see their own doctor.
 
I’ve just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom.
It makes the missus look like she’s moving during intercourse.
 
Two Thai girls asked me if I’d like to go bed with them.
They said it would be just like winning Lotto!
I agreed, and they were right.. We all stripped off, and to my
horror, we had six matching balls!
 
Such an unfair world: When a man talks dirty to a woman it’s
considered sexual harassment.
When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $2.50/min (charges may
vary.
 
Valentine’s Day
Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the wife.
Bound to end in tears though; she’s lousy at snooker.
 
Got a new Jack Russell pup today. He’s mainly black and brown with
just a small white area.
I’ve called him England.
 
If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from
tins of ham then delete it.
It’s spam.
 
They say that sex is the best form of exercise.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think 2 minutes and 15
seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1073 on: February 13, 2015, 02:39:04 PM »
HOT COFFEE
I was eating breakfast with my  13-year-old Great-Granddaughter and asked her,  What day is tomorrow?" Without skipping a beat she said, "It's Presidents Day!"She's smart, so I asked her  "What does Presidents Day mean?" I waswaiting for something about Obama, Bush, or Clinton, etc.She replied,  "Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow,  we have another year of Bullshit."You know, it hurts when hot  coffee spurts out your nose.
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Offline DavidR

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1074 on: February 13, 2015, 03:50:24 PM »
Quote from: bob3160 on February 13, 2015, 02:39:04 PM
HOT COFFEE
I was eating breakfast with my  13-year-old Great-Granddaughter and asked her,  What day is tomorrow?" Without skipping a beat she said, "It's Presidents Day!"She's smart, so I asked her  "What does Presidents Day mean?" I waswaiting for something about Obama, Bush, or Clinton, etc.She replied,  "Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow,  we have another year of Bullshit."You know, it hurts when hot  coffee spurts out your nose.

Well I didn't know what Presidents Day was, but I do now ;D
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Offline Pondus

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1075 on: February 14, 2015, 12:01:41 AM »
a normal day in indonesian traffic    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S250PZJtgSc

More overload   https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XJJvUJlro7Y


« Last Edit: February 14, 2015, 12:03:40 AM by Pondus »
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Offline polonus

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1076 on: February 19, 2015, 06:19:32 PM »
Seen this? https://www.youtube.com/embed/MW_TxptVyVo/?wmode=opaque
A pity it is photoshop...

polonus
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Offline CraigB

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1077 on: February 22, 2015, 01:28:30 PM »
Still doesn't look right even after photo shopping :o

On our beaches here in AUS she wouldn't have got the chance to be photo shopped though, a Japanese whaling ship would have harpooned her ;D 
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1078 on: February 24, 2015, 04:18:11 PM »
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1079 on: February 26, 2015, 11:04:12 PM »

Why is everybody always picking on us older people  ? ? ?
ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING?
ARE WE THE ONES WITH DEMENTIA?
REALLY!

A young lady at an internet cafe was seen putting a credit card into the DVD drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and.
they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy.
(More examples to follow.)
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