Author Topic: So funny I had to post  (Read 937625 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline CraigB

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Serious Graphoman
  • *****
  • Posts: 11239
  • No support PM's thanks
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1320 on: September 30, 2015, 05:22:12 PM »
Student Nurse...

An old fighter pilot is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' the old fighter pilot mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The pilot slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much". That was very nice. Now listen very, very closely and read my lips: "Are - my - test - results - back" ?

Offline Secondmineboy

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Massive Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 3645
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1321 on: October 03, 2015, 03:22:20 PM »
Windows 10 1909, 4 GB DDR3 RAM, 500 GB 5400 RPM HDD, 1366 by 768 LCD Screen, Intel Core i3 5010U Dual Core, Intel HD Graphics 5500
HUAWEI P30 Pro. Android 10

Offline Secondmineboy

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Massive Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 3645
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1322 on: October 03, 2015, 04:12:10 PM »
Windows 10 1909, 4 GB DDR3 RAM, 500 GB 5400 RPM HDD, 1366 by 768 LCD Screen, Intel Core i3 5010U Dual Core, Intel HD Graphics 5500
HUAWEI P30 Pro. Android 10

Offline Secondmineboy

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Massive Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 3645
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1323 on: October 08, 2015, 06:58:53 PM »
Windows 10 1909, 4 GB DDR3 RAM, 500 GB 5400 RPM HDD, 1366 by 768 LCD Screen, Intel Core i3 5010U Dual Core, Intel HD Graphics 5500
HUAWEI P30 Pro. Android 10

Offline bob3160

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Probably Bot
  • *****
  • Posts: 48523
  • 64 Years of Happiness
    • bob3160 Protecting Yourself, Your Computer and, Your Identity
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1324 on: October 08, 2015, 07:10:44 PM »
What am I missing ??? What's so funny ???
Free Security Seminar: https://bit.ly/bobg2023  -  Important: http://www.organdonor.gov/ -- My Web Site: http://bob3160.strikingly.com/ - Win 11 Pro v22H2 64bit, 16 Gig Ram, 1TB SSD, Avast Free 23.5.6066, How to Successfully Install Avast http://goo.gl/VLXdeRepair & Clean Install https://goo.gl/t7aJGq -- My Online Activity https://bit.ly/BobGInternet

Online DavidR

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Certainly Bot
  • *****
  • Posts: 88895
  • No support PMs thanks
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1325 on: October 08, 2015, 07:21:13 PM »
What am I missing ??? What's so funny ???

A windows BSOD in a very unusual location.
Windows 10 Home 64bit/ Acer Aspire F15/ Intel Core i5 7200U 2.5GHz, 8GB DDR4 memory, 256GB SSD, 1TB HDD/ avast! free 24.2.6105 (build 24.2.8918.824) UI 1.0.799/ Firefox, uBlock Origin, uMatrix/ MailWasher Pro/ Avast! Mobile Security

Offline Secondmineboy

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Massive Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 3645
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1326 on: October 08, 2015, 08:05:52 PM »
Windows 10 1909, 4 GB DDR3 RAM, 500 GB 5400 RPM HDD, 1366 by 768 LCD Screen, Intel Core i3 5010U Dual Core, Intel HD Graphics 5500
HUAWEI P30 Pro. Android 10

Offline mchain

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Ultra Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 5564
  • Spartan Warrior
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1327 on: October 08, 2015, 08:15:19 PM »
What am I missing ??? What's so funny ???

A windows BSOD in a very unusual location.
Looks as if it is projected onto the stairs.
Windows 10 Home 64-bit 22H2 Avast Premier Security version 24.1.6099 (build 24.1.88821.762)  UI version 1.0.797
 UI version 1.0.788.  Windows 11 Home 23H2 - Windows 11 Pro 23H2 Avast Premier Security version 24.2.6105 (build 24.1.8918.827) UI version 1.0.801

Offline Simion

  • Advanced Poster
  • **
  • Posts: 976
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1328 on: October 09, 2015, 12:54:04 AM »

Offline SpeedyPC

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Massive Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 3398
  • Avast shall conquer the whole world
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1329 on: October 09, 2015, 08:00:46 AM »
Gigabyte 670 LGA1200 Full ATX MB | Intel Core i9-13900 CPU/LGA 1700 | GeForce Nvidia RTX-4070/12GB | 32GB DDR4 | 2 x 1TB Samsung SSD | W11 Home 64bit | Avast Premium v23.11.6090 | Avast SecureLine VPN | Avast Secure Browser | Avast Driver Updater | Avast BreachGuard | Firefox 64bit | MalwareBytes Premium | Adguard Premium | CCleaner Portable | Macrium Reflect | 7-Zip

Offline CraigB

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Serious Graphoman
  • *****
  • Posts: 11239
  • No support PM's thanks
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1330 on: October 09, 2015, 06:37:01 PM »
During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says:- "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."

The lady starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor.

"No! No! Don't remove your clothes... Just stick out your tongue!"

Offline CraigB

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Serious Graphoman
  • *****
  • Posts: 11239
  • No support PM's thanks
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1331 on: October 09, 2015, 06:39:45 PM »
I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"

One of them chirped saying, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!"

So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry, are you two whales from Ireland ?"
 
That's pretty much the last thing I remember :P

Offline Secondmineboy

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Massive Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 3645
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1332 on: October 12, 2015, 02:30:03 PM »


Bad luck....
Windows 10 1909, 4 GB DDR3 RAM, 500 GB 5400 RPM HDD, 1366 by 768 LCD Screen, Intel Core i3 5010U Dual Core, Intel HD Graphics 5500
HUAWEI P30 Pro. Android 10

Offline Secondmineboy

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Massive Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 3645
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1333 on: October 20, 2015, 09:34:01 PM »
Windows 10 1909, 4 GB DDR3 RAM, 500 GB 5400 RPM HDD, 1366 by 768 LCD Screen, Intel Core i3 5010U Dual Core, Intel HD Graphics 5500
HUAWEI P30 Pro. Android 10

Offline schmidthouse

  • VIRUS FREE A Long Time
  • Avast Evangelist
  • Starting Graphoman
  • ***
  • Posts: 7170
  • When you think you know, Think Again
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1334 on: October 20, 2015, 10:27:39 PM »
Like some people I know, some things have their own way! ::) ;D

http://www.castanet.net/edition/news-story-150050-25-.htm#150050