Author Topic: So funny I had to post  (Read 924686 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline CraigB

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Serious Graphoman
  • *****
  • Posts: 11237
  • No support PM's thanks
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1620 on: May 19, 2017, 04:59:36 PM »
Very funny Bob ;D even though I disagree with the first two moral assumptions ;)

Offline bob3160

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Probably Bot
  • *****
  • Posts: 48463
  • 63 Years of Happiness
    • bob3160 Protecting Yourself, Your Computer and, Your Identity
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1621 on: May 19, 2017, 05:06:24 PM »
Just for you Craig:

A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION
 
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and she was upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'
The husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute, love, so at least I can tell you what happened.'
'Go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said ..............
 
'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?
Free Security Seminar: https://bit.ly/bobg2023  -  Important: http://www.organdonor.gov/ -- My Web Site: http://bob3160.strikingly.com/ - Win 11 Pro v22H2 64bit, 16 Gig Ram, 1TB SSD, Avast Free 23.5.6066, How to Successfully Install Avast http://goo.gl/VLXdeRepair & Clean Install https://goo.gl/t7aJGq -- My Online Activity https://bit.ly/BobGInternet

Offline Eddy

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Maybe Bot
  • ***
  • Posts: 31081
  • Watching (over?) you
    • Malware removal, Biljart and other things.
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1622 on: May 19, 2017, 05:06:34 PM »
And all the dealers where females  ;D

Offline CraigB

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Serious Graphoman
  • *****
  • Posts: 11237
  • No support PM's thanks
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1623 on: May 19, 2017, 05:58:01 PM »
I like that one too, damn those ungrateful women ;D ;D ;D

I wish I could post some of the beaut ones I've received recently but they're a bit unfitting for this forum, political correctness right out the door ;)
« Last Edit: May 19, 2017, 06:01:41 PM by CraigB »

Offline Para-Noid

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Starting Graphoman
  • ***
  • Posts: 6700
  • Trust only what you test yourself!
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1624 on: May 19, 2017, 07:52:21 PM »
+1 Good one Bob.
Dell Inspiron, Win10x64--HP Envy Win10x64--Both systems Avast Free v17.9.2322, Comodo Firewall v8.2 w/D+, MalwareBytes v3.0, OpenDNS, Super Anti-Spyware, Spyware Blaster, MCShield, Unchecky, Vivaldi Browser and, various browser security tools.

"Look before you leap!" Use online scanners before you click on any link.

Offline mchain

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Ultra Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 5477
  • Spartan Warrior
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1625 on: May 22, 2017, 04:59:59 AM »
Not sure what to make of this one or if it is even funny (or not): 
http://boingboing.net/2017/05/17/prophylactic-bricking.html
Windows 10 Home 64-bit 22H2 Avast Premier Security version 23.11.6090 (build 23.11.8635.809)
 UI version 1.0.788.  Windows 11 Pro 22H2 Avast Premier Security version 23.11.6090 (build 23.11.8635.809)

Offline CraigB

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Serious Graphoman
  • *****
  • Posts: 11237
  • No support PM's thanks
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1626 on: May 22, 2017, 11:02:38 AM »
Not sure what to make of this one or if it is even funny (or not): 
http://boingboing.net/2017/05/17/prophylactic-bricking.html
Not funny but it's crazy ridiculous ::)

Offline Para-Noid

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Starting Graphoman
  • ***
  • Posts: 6700
  • Trust only what you test yourself!
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1627 on: May 22, 2017, 10:08:40 PM »
Sometimes it's fun to be a dad

http://shareably.net/blinker-fluid-prank/
Dell Inspiron, Win10x64--HP Envy Win10x64--Both systems Avast Free v17.9.2322, Comodo Firewall v8.2 w/D+, MalwareBytes v3.0, OpenDNS, Super Anti-Spyware, Spyware Blaster, MCShield, Unchecky, Vivaldi Browser and, various browser security tools.

"Look before you leap!" Use online scanners before you click on any link.

Offline bob3160

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Probably Bot
  • *****
  • Posts: 48463
  • 63 Years of Happiness
    • bob3160 Protecting Yourself, Your Computer and, Your Identity
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1628 on: May 24, 2017, 02:47:29 PM »

A modern love story


 An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.


One afternoon the wife decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."


 The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet.  Please advise."
Free Security Seminar: https://bit.ly/bobg2023  -  Important: http://www.organdonor.gov/ -- My Web Site: http://bob3160.strikingly.com/ - Win 11 Pro v22H2 64bit, 16 Gig Ram, 1TB SSD, Avast Free 23.5.6066, How to Successfully Install Avast http://goo.gl/VLXdeRepair & Clean Install https://goo.gl/t7aJGq -- My Online Activity https://bit.ly/BobGInternet

Offline mchain

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Ultra Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 5477
  • Spartan Warrior
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1629 on: May 27, 2017, 12:45:18 AM »
DavidR mentioned he used this in a recent post:  https://giphy.com/gifs/hungry-cookie-monster-EKUvB9uFnm2Xe

(Just kidding)
Windows 10 Home 64-bit 22H2 Avast Premier Security version 23.11.6090 (build 23.11.8635.809)
 UI version 1.0.788.  Windows 11 Pro 22H2 Avast Premier Security version 23.11.6090 (build 23.11.8635.809)

Offline bob3160

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Probably Bot
  • *****
  • Posts: 48463
  • 63 Years of Happiness
    • bob3160 Protecting Yourself, Your Computer and, Your Identity
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1630 on: June 05, 2017, 11:34:52 PM »

By now, everyone knows that there are all sorts of investigations going on regarding the current White House.
It's easy to be confused about how congressional and other crack governmental investigations work (or don't),
so this should clear things up for you in less than three minutes.
https://youtu.be/6F0Hv9TUrfs
You're welcome. :)
Free Security Seminar: https://bit.ly/bobg2023  -  Important: http://www.organdonor.gov/ -- My Web Site: http://bob3160.strikingly.com/ - Win 11 Pro v22H2 64bit, 16 Gig Ram, 1TB SSD, Avast Free 23.5.6066, How to Successfully Install Avast http://goo.gl/VLXdeRepair & Clean Install https://goo.gl/t7aJGq -- My Online Activity https://bit.ly/BobGInternet

Offline mchain

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Ultra Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 5477
  • Spartan Warrior
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1631 on: June 05, 2017, 11:38:54 PM »

By now, everyone knows that there are all sorts of investigations going on regarding the current White House.
It's easy to be confused about how congressional and other crack governmental investigations work (or don't),
so this should clear things up for you in less than three minutes.
https://youtu.be/6F0Hv9TUrfs
You're welcome. :)
Too complicated to follow, but thanks.
Windows 10 Home 64-bit 22H2 Avast Premier Security version 23.11.6090 (build 23.11.8635.809)
 UI version 1.0.788.  Windows 11 Pro 22H2 Avast Premier Security version 23.11.6090 (build 23.11.8635.809)

Offline DavidR

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Certainly Bot
  • *****
  • Posts: 88762
  • No support PMs thanks
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1632 on: June 06, 2017, 12:05:54 AM »

By now, everyone knows that there are all sorts of investigations going on regarding the current White House.
It's easy to be confused about how congressional and other crack governmental investigations work (or don't),
so this should clear things up for you in less than three minutes.
https://youtu.be/6F0Hv9TUrfs
You're welcome. :)

Pretty clear to me, we need to investigate, well, everything. That way we don't have to get down to the difficult job of running the country.
Windows 10 Home 64bit/ Acer Aspire F15/ Intel Core i5 7200U 2.5GHz, 8GB DDR4 memory, 256GB SSD, 1TB HDD/ avast! free 24.1.6099 (build 24.1.8821.762) UI 1.0.796/ Firefox, uBlock Origin, uMatrix/ MailWasher Pro/ Avast! Mobile Security

Offline Simion

  • Advanced Poster
  • **
  • Posts: 976
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1633 on: June 06, 2017, 02:26:30 AM »

By now, everyone knows that there are all sorts of investigations going on regarding the current White House.
It's easy to be confused about how congressional and other crack governmental investigations work (or don't),
so this should clear things up for you in less than three minutes.
https://youtu.be/6F0Hv9TUrfs
You're welcome. :)

Say what? LMBO  ;D

Offline Asyn

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Certainly Bot
  • *****
  • Posts: 76038
    • >>>  Avast Forum - Deutschsprachiger Bereich  <<<
Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1634 on: June 06, 2017, 05:00:08 AM »
By now, everyone knows that there are all sorts of investigations going on regarding the current White House.
It's easy to be confused about how congressional and other crack governmental investigations work (or don't),
so this should clear things up for you in less than three minutes.
https://youtu.be/6F0Hv9TUrfs
You're welcome. :)
ROFL ;D
W8.1 [x64] - Avast Free AV 23.3.8047.BC [UI.757] - Firefox ESR 102.9 [NS/uBO/PB] - Thunderbird 102.9.1
Avast-Tools: Secure Browser 109.0 - Cleanup 23.1 - SecureLine 5.18 - DriverUpdater 23.1 - CCleaner 6.01
Avast Wissenswertes (Downloads, Anleitungen & Infos): https://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=60523.0