Author Topic: So funny I had to post  (Read 945363 times)

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Offline CraigB

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #240 on: April 21, 2012, 12:49:49 PM »
only in America    ;D

Your totally right there :o ::)

Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #241 on: April 23, 2012, 05:57:49 PM »

Senior  citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable
deficiency of the  modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take
responsibility for all we have  done and do not blame others.


HOWEVER,  upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was  NOT  the
senior citizens who took

The melody out of  music,

The pride out of  appearance,

The  courtesy out of  driving,

The romance out of  love,

The  commitment out  of marriage,

The  responsibility  out of parenthood,

The  togetherness  out of the family,

The learning out of  education,

The service out of  patriotism,

The Golden  Rule from  rulers,

The  nativity scene  out of cities,

The civilityout of  behavior,

The  refinement out  of language,


The  dedication out  of employment,

The prudence out of  spending,

The ambition out of achievement  or
God out of government and school.

And  we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance
from personal relationships and  interactions with others!!

And, we do understand the meaning of  patriotism, and remember those who
have fought and died for our  country. 

Just look at  the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their
hearts as they  stand at attention with  their hand over their hearts!

YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!

I'm the  life of the party.... Even if it lasts until 8 p.m.

I'm very good at  opening childproof caps..... With a hammer.

I'm awake many hours before  my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't  hear a thing you're saying.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a  safe secure place, somewhere.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just  my left leg.

I'm beginning to realize that aging is not  for wimps.

Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I  think I am having the time of my life!

(Thanks Avast for making sure I stay young a few more years.)

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iroc9555

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #242 on: April 23, 2012, 11:56:14 PM »
Hear, hear Bob.  ;)

Remembering the good old days.

Almost there and having some symptoms already, but only some  :D. and yes " aging is not  for wimps ".


HDW38

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #243 on: April 24, 2012, 12:24:23 AM »
Hey Bob!

Where did you get all that stuff from? You're A Senior Citizen and I'm behind you (or in front of you?)

Greetings.
HDW38

Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #244 on: April 24, 2012, 12:37:23 AM »
Hey Bob!

Where did you get all that stuff from? You're A Senior Citizen and I'm behind you (or in front of you?)

Greetings.
HDW38

At my age, I'm very careful about who gets behind me..... ;D
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HDW38

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #245 on: April 24, 2012, 10:29:15 PM »
Hey Bob!

Where did you get all that stuff from? You're A Senior Citizen and I'm behind you (or in front of you?)

Greetings.
HDW38

At my age, I'm very careful about who gets behind me..... ;D

Wise spoken.  ;)
But (when I was born) I'm in front of you or what do you mean?  ;D

Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #246 on: April 24, 2012, 11:27:52 PM »
Since you know my age and I don't know yours, that's something you'll need to figure out.  ;D
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HDW38

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #247 on: April 25, 2012, 04:26:52 AM »
Since you know my age and I don't know yours, that's something you'll need to figure out.  ;D

Tomorrow you can add 3 to your age.  ;D  :-X


Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #248 on: April 25, 2012, 06:54:39 AM »
Since you know my age and I don't know yours, that's something you'll need to figure out.  ;D

Tomorrow you can add 3 to your age.  ;D :-X

Happy Birthday :)
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HDW38

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #249 on: April 25, 2012, 10:14:56 AM »
Since you know my age and I don't know yours, that's something you'll need to figure out.  ;D

Tomorrow you can add 3 to your age.  ;D :-X

Happy Birthday :)

T o m o r r o w!!!  Thanks. :)


Offline MikeBCda

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #250 on: April 29, 2012, 01:11:49 AM »
Speaking of birthdays and age, I got a rather harsh reminder today that I'm not getting any younger.  According to IMDB, and probably verifiable elsewhere, Ann-Margret turned 71 today.  Ouch!
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #251 on: April 29, 2012, 02:46:34 AM »
And what's the matter with 71 ???
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Offline MikeBCda

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #252 on: April 29, 2012, 03:14:45 AM »
Nothing really, other than a reminder that I'm creeping up on 70 myself and definitely mortal.  Oh to be kids again, with no sense that anything could happen to us (and eventually definitely would, someday).
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #253 on: May 02, 2012, 03:02:49 PM »







« Last Edit: May 02, 2012, 03:05:09 PM by bob3160 »
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Offline CraigB

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #254 on: May 03, 2012, 12:55:31 PM »
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER

 Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

 Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.


'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.'


 Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
'How long will this take?' I asked.


'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.


 I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'


 Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your ass, didn't it?'



 He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.

Although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

 
Stupid, stupid man.