Author Topic: So funny I had to post  (Read 947792 times)

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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #480 on: April 22, 2013, 03:03:58 PM »
I'd like to "toot" my own horn:

    *   Old  Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing
of the  National Anthem. Old Farts remove their caps and stand at attention
and  sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in  them. 
    *   Old  Farts remember World War II, Pearl Harbour , Guadalcanal ,
Normandy and  Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold
War, the  Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping
 Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam . 
    *   If  you bump into an Old Fart on the sidewalk he will apologize. If
you pass  an Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady.
Old  Farts trust strangers and are courtly to women. 
    *   Old  Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when
walking, make  certain the lady is on the inside for protection. 
    *   Old  Farts get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and
children  and they don't like any filth or dirty language on TV or in 
movies. 
    *   Old  Farts have moral courage and personal integrity.. They seldom
brag  unless it's about their children or grandchildren. 
    *   It's  the Old Farts who know our great country is protected, not by
 politicians, but by the young men and women in the military serving  their
country.


This country needs Old Farts with their work  ethic, sense of
responsibility, pride in their country and decent  values.


We need them now more than  ever.


Thank  God for Old Farts! :) :) :)
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Offline MikeBCda

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #481 on: April 22, 2013, 11:56:04 PM »
Nicely put, Bob.  I was born in Nov. '45, so I'm a hair too young to "remember" WWII-related things, although by the time I learned to read they were still fairly recent history.  Fell into the cracks between wartime babies and baby-boomers, I guess.

But I'm definitely of the generation that agrees with all your points about courtesy and respect.
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #482 on: April 23, 2013, 12:32:14 AM »
It just points out that us old timer are still good for other things than passing gas....
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Offline SpeedyPC

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #483 on: April 23, 2013, 07:48:12 AM »
It just points out that us old timer are still good for other things than passing gas....

Not unless you stop eating bake beans, peanuts and chips, and stop drinking beer you won't be passing out with old fart gas, what happen if someone comes over to you're house and start having a smoke
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Offline Pondus

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Offline MikeBCda

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #485 on: April 24, 2013, 08:13:58 PM »
Only in America, eh?  This headline from this morning's Yahoo News (originally from the AP) sounded straight out of Mad or the Lampoon, so I had to read the story.  And having done so, I had to pass it along.  Sorry if it's a little long, but I'd have had trouble trimming out the relatively uninteresting parts.

Quote
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop helped a neighbor woman escape a Tuesday morning attack by a man who had been stalking her.

Kent Hendrix woke up Tuesday to his teenage son pounding on his bedroom door and telling him somebody was being mugged in front of their house. The 47-year-old father of six rushed out the door and grabbed the weapon closest to him — a 29-inch high carbon steel Samurai sword.

He came upon what he describes as a melee between a woman and a man. His son stayed inside to call 911 while he approached the man along with other neighbors who came to help. The martial arts instructor didn't hesitate in drawing the sword and yelling at him to get on the ground.

"His eyes got as big as saucers and he kind of gasped and jumped back," Hendrix said by phone Tuesday afternoon. "He's probably never had anyone draw a sword on him before."

The man ran down the street with the barefoot Hendrix and others in pursuit. Hendrix said he couldn't catch the man before he fled in his car, but he picked up ChapStick that the man dropped and memorized his license plate.

"I yelled at him, 'I've got your DNA and I've got your license plate: You are so done,'" Hendrix said.

The suspect, 37-year-old Grant Eggersten, turned himself in to police an hour later, said Unified Police Lt. Justin Hoyal. He was booked on charges of robbery, attempted burglary, trespassing and violation of a stalking injunction.

Hendrix, a pharmaceutical statistician, was one of several neighbors who came to the woman's aid after she began yelling for help, Hoyal said.

The incident began just after 7 a.m. when the 35-year-old woman came out of her front door, Hoyal said. Eggersten was hiding behind her carport and attacked her, knocking her to the ground, Hoyal said.

He took her keys and tried to open the door into her house, Hoyal said. That's when the woman ran down the street calling for help.

The woman did the right thing by fighting back and calling for help, Hoyal said. She suffered minor injuries.

Hendrix, a bishop in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, said it was the first time in 30 years of practicing martial arts that he's used the sword. He didn't swing it at the man, only showing him he had it.

He said he's proud of his 14-year-old son for alerting him and quickly calling 911. He said the family is still abuzz about the events.

"That kind of thing doesn't happen every day," Hendrix said. "Our neighborhood is a pretty quiet place."

A fourth-degree black belt in the Kishindo form of martial arts, Hendrix owns a collection of swords and weapons that he trains with, said his wife, Suzanne Hendrix. He has trained with the sword he used Tuesday for 20 years and keeps it by his bed.

"Some people have bats they go to," said Hendrix. "I have my sword."
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #486 on: April 24, 2013, 08:44:36 PM »
No Samurai just a 3 iron. :)
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Offline polonus

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #488 on: April 24, 2013, 10:51:47 PM »
Funny statement (i.m.o.): "An av-solution is like a bra, seems you do not need it, but oi it keeps everything up"

polonus
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Offline Pondus

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #489 on: April 29, 2013, 12:13:06 PM »
a must have......  just in case i ordered 10   ;D

The MacGyver multitool
http://www.engadget.com/2007/07/18/the-macgyver-multitool/


wonder if they have army version.... with camoflage color..... somthing for you David   ;D



« Last Edit: April 29, 2013, 12:16:05 PM by Pondus »

Offline DavidR

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #490 on: April 29, 2013, 12:26:19 PM »
Already got one.
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Offline Chris Thomas

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #491 on: May 05, 2013, 12:46:17 PM »
The moment when you accidentally click IE



Offline Pondus

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #492 on: May 05, 2013, 04:35:12 PM »
Guitar strings for air guitar

http://www.airguitarstrings.com/


Offline Pondus

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #493 on: May 05, 2013, 04:37:31 PM »

Offline SpeedyPC

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #494 on: May 06, 2013, 09:32:59 AM »
T-shirts for plummers
http://www.boredpanda.com/butt-crack-cleavage-t-shirt/

This one really crack me up so bad. When I was a kid I've seen way to many butt-crack-cleavage men in my days and what I do is when my mother ring a plumper and I see a butt-crack-cleavage, I stick a straw into his cleavage and said either you pull you're pants up or drink you're butt-crack-cleavage ;D
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