FUN PUNS!
* The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
* I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
* She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
* A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
* No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
* A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
* A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
* Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
* A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
* Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
* Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
* Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
* I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
* A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
* The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
* The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
* A backward poet writes inverse.
* In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
* If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .
* A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
* Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
* Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
* There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!