FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY,
AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRACIES OF ENGLISH
1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA...... FLOOR.
2. ATHEISM IS A "NON-PROPHET" ORGANIZATION.
3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES ?
4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY, IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS ?
7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP ?
8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION ?
9 IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM ?
10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL ?"
11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT ?
12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES ?
13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK ?
14 WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION TOILETS ? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM ?
15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED ?
16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS ?
17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY STILL TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT ?
18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK TELLER MACHINES ?
19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS ?
20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD ?
21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
22. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA ?
23. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY ?
24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A "CIVIL" WAR ?
25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO ?
26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY ?
27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE ?
28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT ?
29. WHY ARE HAEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HAEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS" ?
30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM ?
31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM ?
32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED ?
33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD ?
34. WHY DO SHOPS HAVE SIGNS, 'GUIDE DOGS ONLY' ? THE DOGS CAN'T READ AND THEIR OWNERS ARE BLIND.
