virus types:
*Ronald Reagan Virus: - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
*Mike Tyson Virus: Quits after two bytes. Spits everything out.
*Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.
*Titanic Virus: Your computer goes down while Celine Deon sings My Love Will Go On
*Disney Virus: Everything in your computer gets Goofy.
*Prozac Virus: Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
10 laws of computers:
*If you have reached the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
*When you are computing, if someone is watching, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
*When the going gets tough, upgrade your computer.
*The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it.
*For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
*To err is human ... to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.
*He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.
*The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
*A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
*A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
