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DavidR,
Being proactive is most of the times a good thing. The point is that most of the average users are not. That is the main reason for most security tools to have an automatic update option. And the bottom line is that nowadays we all depend on other users to be safe too, so we can avoid most malware distribution to get to our own "proactive"
systems. This makes the program update tray notifications to have some importance in our security tools.
You are taking this "conspiracy theory" too serious. Although I have "explanations" (in the context of this crazy theory) to your questions about it, I have no intention to expand that item. It would "hurt" the real issue here.
As I said, the only important thing in this topic is that the program update tray notifications need much improvement. To be clear, the tray notifications themselves are OK. The problem comes from the servers.
The servers listed on the user side are not important in this context. If a sever is not activated to distribute a new program version, then the user contacting it would receive only the databases.
The servers can be "programed" or schedule to provide updates in a "slow" manner. A (theoretical) example would be to distribute the program update only in 50% of the cases, prolonging the period of time that the program update get to all users.
In fact, the methods and or reasons are not so important to me as a user. You say you are surprised that after 8 months the delays are still happening. Well, they are. This is the real issue to be improved.