Avast was right. Google Chrome is malware.
It came bundled with a completely unrelated software (which is conclusive proof of malware in and of itself), and forced itself to install, in spite of the fact I crashed the installer before it installed. Installation happened against my will (as per usual for anything by Google, the most popular malware developer in the world), and uninstalling it was not only a task and a half, but resulted in a nag screen DEMANDING to know why I was uninstalling.
If someone brutally murdered Larry Page in broad daylight in front of cops and his family, they would be completely acquitted of all charges due to the fact that it's not illegal to murder a predatory non-human animal. Even his own mother would squeal with glee at his death. There would be more cheering for his death than there was for Osama bin Laden's.