Author Topic: So funny I had to post  (Read 948157 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Secondmineboy

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Massive Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 3645
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1365 on: November 16, 2015, 08:26:45 PM »


Thats how you can get to know that someone has issues with you :)
Windows 10 1909, 4 GB DDR3 RAM, 500 GB 5400 RPM HDD, 1366 by 768 LCD Screen, Intel Core i3 5010U Dual Core, Intel HD Graphics 5500
HUAWEI P30 Pro. Android 10

Offline bob3160

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Probably Bot
  • *****
  • Posts: 48566
  • 64 Years of Happiness
    • bob3160 Protecting Yourself, Your Computer and, Your Identity
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1366 on: November 17, 2015, 06:42:19 PM »
Free Security Seminar: https://bit.ly/bobg2023  -  Important: http://www.organdonor.gov/ -- My Web Site: http://bob3160.strikingly.com/ - Win 11 Pro v22H2 64bit, 16 Gig Ram, 1TB SSD, Avast Free 23.5.6066, How to Successfully Install Avast http://goo.gl/VLXdeRepair & Clean Install https://goo.gl/t7aJGq -- My Online Activity https://bit.ly/BobGInternet

Offline ehmen

  • Poster
  • *
  • Posts: 498
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1367 on: November 18, 2015, 03:24:35 AM »


Offline CraigB

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Serious Graphoman
  • *****
  • Posts: 11239
  • No support PM's thanks
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1368 on: November 18, 2015, 03:40:13 PM »
Don’t Mess With Senior Citizens


A married couple is travelling by car from California to New York.

Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it’s a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the ‘standard rate’. He insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for us to use.

“But we didn’t use them,” the husband said.

“Well, they are here, and you could have,” explained the Manager.

The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here,” the Manager says.

“But we didn’t go to any of those shows,” the husband said.

“Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, “But we didn’t use it!”

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn’t have the check book, he asked his wife to write the check.

She did and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. “But ma’am, this is made out for only $50.00.”

“That’s correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me,” she replied.

“But I didn’t!” exclaims the Manager.

“Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.”

Don’t mess with senior citizens… They didn’t get there by being stupid.

Offline ehmen

  • Poster
  • *
  • Posts: 498
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1369 on: November 18, 2015, 11:06:40 PM »

Offline Para-Noid

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Starting Graphoman
  • ***
  • Posts: 6700
  • Trust only what you test yourself!
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1370 on: November 18, 2015, 11:16:57 PM »
@ CraigB That is one of your better ones!  ;D ;D ;D
Dell Inspiron, Win10x64--HP Envy Win10x64--Both systems Avast Free v17.9.2322, Comodo Firewall v8.2 w/D+, MalwareBytes v3.0, OpenDNS, Super Anti-Spyware, Spyware Blaster, MCShield, Unchecky, Vivaldi Browser and, various browser security tools.

"Look before you leap!" Use online scanners before you click on any link.

Offline CraigB

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Serious Graphoman
  • *****
  • Posts: 11239
  • No support PM's thanks
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1371 on: November 19, 2015, 04:10:42 AM »
@ CraigB That is one of your better ones!  ;D ;D ;D
Is that because it had no non-comprehendible Aussie slang ;)

Offline Para-Noid

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Starting Graphoman
  • ***
  • Posts: 6700
  • Trust only what you test yourself!
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1372 on: November 19, 2015, 03:18:44 PM »
@ CraigB That is one of your better ones!  ;D ;D ;D
Is that because it had no non-comprehendible Aussie slang ;)

Probably.  ::)
Dell Inspiron, Win10x64--HP Envy Win10x64--Both systems Avast Free v17.9.2322, Comodo Firewall v8.2 w/D+, MalwareBytes v3.0, OpenDNS, Super Anti-Spyware, Spyware Blaster, MCShield, Unchecky, Vivaldi Browser and, various browser security tools.

"Look before you leap!" Use online scanners before you click on any link.

Offline Eddy

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Maybe Bot
  • ***
  • Posts: 31079
  • Watching (over?) you
    • Malware removal, Biljart and other things.
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1373 on: November 19, 2015, 03:24:41 PM »
No wonder things on the website aren't working with "people" like that in the IT department.

Offline Secondmineboy

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Massive Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 3645
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1374 on: November 19, 2015, 07:18:07 PM »

Im right with you guys, just a minute!
Windows 10 1909, 4 GB DDR3 RAM, 500 GB 5400 RPM HDD, 1366 by 768 LCD Screen, Intel Core i3 5010U Dual Core, Intel HD Graphics 5500
HUAWEI P30 Pro. Android 10

Offline Pondus

  • Probably Bot
  • ****
  • Posts: 37532
  • Not a avast user
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1375 on: November 20, 2015, 06:19:13 PM »
If you have to, you can do it with style      :D

THE WORLD'S 10 BEST PUBLIC TOILETS FOR 2015  http://www.designcurial.com/news/public-toilet-architecture---10-of-the-best-2-4719038/

and the winner is right here .... no i have not tried it    ;D
Quote
For want of a more spectacular view, this public toilet in Norway surely takes the cake.



Offline ehmen

  • Poster
  • *
  • Posts: 498
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1376 on: November 25, 2015, 01:47:16 AM »

Offline bob3160

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Probably Bot
  • *****
  • Posts: 48566
  • 64 Years of Happiness
    • bob3160 Protecting Yourself, Your Computer and, Your Identity
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1377 on: November 25, 2015, 01:09:01 PM »

That's one way to take all the fun out of the game. :)
Free Security Seminar: https://bit.ly/bobg2023  -  Important: http://www.organdonor.gov/ -- My Web Site: http://bob3160.strikingly.com/ - Win 11 Pro v22H2 64bit, 16 Gig Ram, 1TB SSD, Avast Free 23.5.6066, How to Successfully Install Avast http://goo.gl/VLXdeRepair & Clean Install https://goo.gl/t7aJGq -- My Online Activity https://bit.ly/BobGInternet

Offline Para-Noid

  • Avast Evangelist
  • Starting Graphoman
  • ***
  • Posts: 6700
  • Trust only what you test yourself!
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1378 on: November 28, 2015, 03:44:04 PM »
Some kids are born for genius.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8EdXJZwJIo
Dell Inspiron, Win10x64--HP Envy Win10x64--Both systems Avast Free v17.9.2322, Comodo Firewall v8.2 w/D+, MalwareBytes v3.0, OpenDNS, Super Anti-Spyware, Spyware Blaster, MCShield, Unchecky, Vivaldi Browser and, various browser security tools.

"Look before you leap!" Use online scanners before you click on any link.

Offline CraigB

  • Avast Überevangelist
  • Serious Graphoman
  • *****
  • Posts: 11239
  • No support PM's thanks
Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #1379 on: November 29, 2015, 04:28:40 PM »
Levels Of Stress


 
You pick up a hitchhiker...   A beautiful girl.
Suddenly she faints inside your truck and you take her to the hospital.

Now that's stressful.
 

 
But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant & congratulate you that you're going to be a father.
You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are.

This is getting very stressful!


 
You request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father.


 
After the tests are completed, the doctor says the test shows you're infertile, and probably have been since birth.

You're extremely stressed but relieved.


 
On your way back, you think about your 3 kids at home.
 
Now – that’s what you call stress