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Other => General Topics => Topic started by: CraigB on September 28, 2011, 06:57:40 PM

Title: Was so funny I had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 28, 2011, 06:57:40 PM
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest.. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat.
 
But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!! I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
 
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on September 28, 2011, 07:24:56 PM
I have just dried my eyes and picked myself up of the floor, I really thought the cat was going to get it.

God I have just read the 4th paragraph again and ended up in a coughing fit from laughing. I was totally disabled and no need for the tazer.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 28, 2011, 07:46:29 PM
I have just dried my eyes and picked myself up of the floor, I really thought the cat was going to get it.

God I have just read the 4th paragraph again and ended up in a coughing fit from laughing. I was totally disabled and no need for the tazer.
I was the same, i just about coughed up my coffee all over the computer  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Gargamel360 on September 28, 2011, 07:48:35 PM
R-O-F-L, it probably dumped the whole battery charge into him. ;D

Hope this guy never develops curiosity over how the electrical outlets in his house work. ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on September 28, 2011, 07:50:27 PM
He should have set up the video first, as this would have been a youtube massive viral hit.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 28, 2011, 08:08:20 PM
I nearly wet myself sitting at my chair from laughing so dead hard as a rock and I have to dried my eyes as well, suddenly I nearly knocked my beer off the table at the same bloody time when my bladder was about to go "KABOOM"
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 28, 2011, 08:25:38 PM
He should have set up the video first, as this would have been a youtube massive viral hit.
I wonder if the pain is worth a repeat performance ???
Thanks craigb for the laugh.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Marc57 on September 28, 2011, 11:02:09 PM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v323/marc57/5lardh.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: drhayden1 on September 28, 2011, 11:33:54 PM
Garfield wasn't happy you were gonna try that out of one of his fellow cats >:(
SpeedyPC no comment from you is necessary ;D
sorry for the off topic :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Jack 1000 on September 29, 2011, 04:09:54 AM
Love the OP's story!!!!

Jack
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on September 29, 2011, 04:17:55 AM
That is hilarious. It's going out to my email contacts immediately.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 30, 2011, 01:12:13 AM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20110929-bhwq-18kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20110929-bhwq-18kb)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 30, 2011, 04:34:50 PM
It couldn't be more true Bob  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on September 30, 2011, 08:49:59 PM
I'm not online much, if any, Monday-Thursday.
I haven't laughed that hard for a long time. My sides are hurting and I have to pee.  ;D

Thanks Craig!

ps Is there a link to that. I would love to e-mail it.  :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: giogio on September 30, 2011, 09:11:21 PM
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 30, 2011, 10:17:49 PM
I'm not online much, if any, Monday-Thursday.
I haven't laughed that hard for a long time. My sides are hurting and I have to pee.  ;D

Thanks Craig!

ps Is there a link to that. I would love to e-mail it.  :)
Copy and paste works well. :)

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art41491.asp (http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art41491.asp)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on September 30, 2011, 10:34:31 PM

Copy and paste works well. :)

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art41491.asp (http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art41491.asp)
Done. Thanks. Sent e-mail to my son.  :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 30, 2011, 10:39:16 PM
If you want the whole thing on a website, you'll find it at:
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/1183127/Taser.html (http://dl.dropbox.com/u/1183127/Taser.html)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on October 01, 2011, 02:54:00 AM
Hilarious ... I took the liberty of posting a copy-and-paste to one of my peer-support Yahoo groups, and they loved it too.

I made an interesting discovery in my fridge today, wonder if that offered reward is still available?  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on October 01, 2011, 08:34:12 AM
WARNING! Don't try this at home New Jet Motorcycle
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on October 01, 2011, 11:46:50 PM
WARNING! Don't try this at home New Jet Motorcycle
Ouch!  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on October 02, 2011, 06:34:22 AM
Hey drhayden1 I didn't know you could smack a dog ;D

(http://i594.photobucket.com/albums/tt21/Matty_R54321/Cat_slaps.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: rdmaloyjr on October 04, 2011, 01:06:45 AM
He should have set up the video first, as this would have been a youtube massive viral hit.

Dave, you can have a friend shoot a video of you shooting yourself with a tazer. ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: rdmaloyjr on October 04, 2011, 01:13:50 AM
Hey drhayden1 I didn't know you could smack a dog ;D

(http://i594.photobucket.com/albums/tt21/Matty_R54321/Cat_slaps.gif)

Odie and Garfield when they were younger, & Garfield wasn't fat. ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on October 04, 2011, 01:19:02 AM
He should have set up the video first, as this would have been a youtube massive viral hit.

Dave, you can have a friend shoot a video of you shooting yourself with a tazer. ;D

Much as I would love too, Tazers are illegal in the UK :P
So I guess you will have to do it yourself as they are legal in the USA :D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on October 10, 2011, 06:39:29 AM
Body hair bikini top and I didn't know a man can show a hairy bra ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: rdmaloyjr on October 23, 2011, 06:51:28 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 29, 2011, 04:54:36 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20111029-lwzu-50kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20111029-lwzu-50kb)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on October 29, 2011, 05:04:21 PM
I have just dried my eyes and picked myself up of the floor, I really thought the cat was going to get it.

God I have just read the 4th paragraph again and ended up in a coughing fit from laughing. I was totally disabled and no need for the tazer.
I was the same, i just about coughed up my coffee all over the computer  ;D

Guess what, I have just found this in an old email I saved from 2004, so it has certainly done the rounds.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on October 30, 2011, 04:52:49 AM
I have just dried my eyes and picked myself up of the floor, I really thought the cat was going to get it.

God I have just read the 4th paragraph again and ended up in a coughing fit from laughing. I was totally disabled and no need for the tazer.
I was the same, i just about coughed up my coffee all over the computer  ;D

Guess what, I have just found this in an old email I saved from 2004, so it has certainly done the rounds.
Was it the same one ? it's funny how these popup again after so long but the good one's always hang around  :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on October 30, 2011, 12:39:43 PM
Absolutely the same scenario, some slight word changes here and there and little embellishments.

Quote
Here goes...
Last weekend I spied something at Larry's Pistol and Pawn that tickled my fancy.
....
....
....
here I sat in my recliner, my dog Molly looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not Molly), and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target.  I must admit I thought about zapping Molly for a fraction of a second and thought better of it.  She is such a sweet doggy, after all.
....
....
....
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed.  I'm sitting there alone, Molly looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it daddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?).
 
I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it.
(Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight--always twenty-twenty. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time.  Don't ya hate that?) I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and Holy #$@&*%&%#@!!  I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again.

Same, same ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on October 30, 2011, 12:43:47 PM
for those who want to see.... there are some videos on youtube   ;D

just search for jackass and/or tazer    
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 31, 2011, 05:27:36 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20111031-1pxq-34kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 01, 2011, 06:10:36 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20111101-nc7f-34kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 18, 2011, 12:22:49 AM
A student asked,
'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female,
and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender
('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands
their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate
with other computers is incomprehensible
to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long
term memory for possible later retrieval;
and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one,
you find yourself spending half your paycheck
on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine
('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them,
you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't
think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve
problems, but half the time they ARE the
problem; and


4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize
that if you had waited a little longer,
you could have gotten a better model.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: !Donovan on November 18, 2011, 01:05:10 AM
@bob3160

Quote
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine
('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them,
you have to turn them on;

Started laughing out loud when I got to this one. ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 18, 2011, 02:13:59 AM
@bob3160

Quote
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine
('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them,
you have to turn them on;

Started laughing out loud when I got to this one. ;D
Me too but for a different reason..... I was reminiscing as to how long it's been since ......  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 19, 2011, 08:26:28 PM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/bob3160/Smile/CasualComputerUser.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on November 19, 2011, 10:53:39 PM
OMG Bob, you've had someone spying on me?   :D :D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on November 20, 2011, 12:26:07 AM
OMG Bob, you've had someone spying on me?   :D :D

+2 ;D same old habit on everyday sunday ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on November 20, 2011, 01:27:22 AM
Too damn cold to be sitting around in my socks ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on November 20, 2011, 04:31:25 AM
Too damn cold to be sitting around in my socks ;D

DavidR come over to Australia and have a XXXX beer with, and you won't get to cold sitting around in your socks ;) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: True Indian on November 20, 2011, 04:57:14 AM
Thanks had a laugh my daughter was asking me why i am laughing... ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 21, 2011, 09:04:16 PM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/bob3160/Smile/BeforeComputers.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on November 21, 2011, 09:11:52 PM
;D
Good one Bob.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 22, 2011, 03:41:41 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20111122-1f1f-40kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: YoKenny on November 22, 2011, 03:58:31 PM
Get the Santa version

(http://whiskerrescue.com/img/bw%20whiskerpics/contact%20pg%20pics/santacat2.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on November 24, 2011, 01:20:05 AM
I dont think it is often you find Salmon as road kill    ;D

http://www.kval.com/news/local/Road-or-river-Salmon-swim-up-street-134353988.html
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on November 24, 2011, 04:06:46 PM
I dont think it is often you find Salmon as road kill    ;D

http://www.kval.com/news/local/Road-or-river-Salmon-swim-up-street-134353988.html

Aaah my favourite fishing road killed ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on November 24, 2011, 05:00:59 PM
I read the whole thing.   ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 04, 2011, 09:03:44 PM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/bob3160/Smile/YouGotMail.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 07, 2011, 12:02:29 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20111207-kk3b-23kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on December 07, 2011, 12:27:06 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20111207-kk3b-23kb.jpg)
How did you manage to get a picture of "Speedy" Bob  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Lisandro on December 07, 2011, 12:39:47 PM
How do we miss avast 7... We start to post with Season spirit :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 07, 2011, 01:25:10 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20111207-kk3b-23kb.jpg)
How did you manage to get a picture of "Speedy" Bob  ;D
He's my next door neighbor.  ;D I thought you knew that....  :o  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on December 07, 2011, 01:36:13 PM
LMAO!... ;D Aaaah yes I remember this about 2 years ago when I shot my computer once with a 12 gauge double barrel shot gun because of to many BSOD ;D......I had to blame Bill Gate for my nightmare ;D


Edit: I love this woman when she is so sexy Bob..............please don't tell you're wife about it she know how to kill you're TV ;D   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnT723O5fZg
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 07, 2011, 01:53:13 PM
LMAO!... ;D Aaaah yes I remember this about 2 years ago when I shot my computer once with a 12 gauge double barrel shot gun because of to many BSOD ;D......I had to blame Bill Gate for my nightmare ;D


Edit: I love this woman when she is so sexy Bob..............please don't tell you're wife about it she know how to kill you're TV ;D   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnT723O5fZg

(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20111207-czvx-41kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20111207-czvx-41kb)

At least she used a cheap beer to waste.  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on December 08, 2011, 12:33:53 AM
That reminds of when I was working for Walmart and a guy was trying to return a stereo he claimed was defective and the manager said she wouldn't take it back because there was nothing wrong with it. He stormed out and came back about 30 minutes later with the stereo with a bullet hole in it and said "Okay, it's broken now". She asked what happened and he said he put it on a post and shot it. She took it back and gave him his money and when we asked why she had she said, "If he's crazy enough to shoot a stereo, he's crazy enough to shoot one of us in the parking lot if we don't take it back".
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on December 08, 2011, 12:37:07 AM
That reminds of when I was working for Walmart and a guy was trying to return a stereo he claimed was defective and the manager said she wouldn't take it back because there was nothing wrong with it. He stormed out and came back about 30 minutes later with the stereo with a bullet hole in it and said "Okay, it's broken now". She asked what happened and he said he put it on a post and shot it. She took it back and gave him his money and when we asked why she had she said, "If he's crazy enough to shoot a stereo, he's crazy enough to shoot one of us in the parking lot if we don't take it back".

Is this a true story..??
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on December 08, 2011, 12:38:45 AM
Yes it is.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on December 08, 2011, 12:40:16 AM
Yes it is.

OMG :o
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 08, 2011, 01:00:30 AM
There are many true Walmart stories.
We could probably start a new forum with all the ones out there.
I have to admit, the recall by Dch48 was funny and got a chuckle from both
Alice and myself.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on December 08, 2011, 03:10:45 AM
There are many true Walmart stories.
We could probably start a new forum with all the ones out there.
I have to admit, the recall by Dch48 was funny and got a chuckle from both
Alice and myself.  ;D

I hope Dch48 is not armed with his teeth and his shot gun ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on December 08, 2011, 03:29:06 AM
Hey Bob would you like a heart attack with a 114kg pole dancer ;D http://video.dailytelegraph.com.au/?2174460189

The clip is clean trust me ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: rdmaloyjr on December 08, 2011, 03:38:44 AM
Run to safety, it's an earthquake!!!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 08, 2011, 03:48:20 AM
Hey Bob would you like a heart attack with a 114kg pole dancer ;D http://video.dailytelegraph.com.au/?2174460189

The clip is clean trust me ;)
Trust who???  ;D. I could tolerate 114 lbs.
114 kg is like watching a full grown pig doing a pole dance-
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on December 08, 2011, 09:24:22 AM
Trust who???  ;D. I could tolerate 114 lbs.
114 kg is like watching a full grown pig doing a pole dance-


Bob you need to get some Beer Goggles ;D :o http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXVK3RteHxc

OR drink heaps of beer before you worried about the pole dancer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZZpsSOwxcw

Here another one "Neal Mccoy Billy's Got His Beer Goggles On" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORqzaOFUCsg
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on December 08, 2011, 10:16:32 AM
Haha i love the reverse skank-ification technology in that first one Speedy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXVK3RteHxc  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on December 08, 2011, 03:20:30 PM
Haha i love the reverse skank-ification technology in that first one Speedy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXVK3RteHxc  ;D ;D


OR maybe this one Bob ;) http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=VuCFgiWfVF4
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: rdmaloyjr on December 08, 2011, 07:42:07 PM
The People Of Walmart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SX86viXrV_4

Wal- Mart Gals

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLjnPOSytiI&feature=related

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on December 08, 2011, 08:25:28 PM
The People Of Walmart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SX86viXrV_4

Wal- Mart Gals

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLjnPOSytiI&feature=related


OMG hard to believe people actually go out to the shops like that, we get some ferral's hear but what you guys get over there in the US takes the cake  :o
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on December 08, 2011, 10:54:38 PM
Yeah you see some hideous things at Walmart sometimes but this is a college town so you also can see some very nice ones there as well. The one i worked in was in Florida and the women down there don't wear as many clothes as they do up here. We even had a nude run through of a bunch of kids from the Junior College and it was pretty interesting.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 08, 2011, 11:25:40 PM
Quote
We even had a nude run through of a bunch of kids from the Junior College and it was pretty interesting.
@Speedy,
This isn't an invitation for you to post something
that'll bring this thread to a crashing halt.  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on December 09, 2011, 04:33:05 AM
OMG hard to believe people actually go out to the shops like that, we get some ferral's hear but what you guys get over there in the US takes the cake  :o

God crikey my eyes are killing me as hell and starting to go blind I cannot believe my eyes seeing that clip rdmaloyjr this is shocking :o

@Bob don't worried mate this thread will never comes to a crashing halt, as long as you don't wear the beer goggles ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: rdmaloyjr on December 09, 2011, 10:55:47 PM
If you thought Wal-Mart People and Wal-Mart Girls were wild, check this out: http://www.fox23.com/news/local/story/Woman-caught-making-meth-inside-S-Tulsa-Walmart/Rgu31vt1m0me-p0WwKsN_w.cspx
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Left123 on December 09, 2011, 11:59:14 PM
(http://img843.imageshack.us/img843/3087/943349700b.jpg)
Seems legit.
Sorry for random picture,but it's a fact,admit it. ;D

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 10, 2011, 04:55:49 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20111210-vhyz-25kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Chris Thomas on December 10, 2011, 05:03:49 PM
An interview with Siri

I am Siri on iPhone 4S


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BLzMCiR0G4

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: rdmaloyjr on December 10, 2011, 10:36:29 PM
How To Annoy A Telemarketer How To Annoy A Telemarketer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pw9ZbjSvdxs&feature=fvwrel
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 11, 2011, 04:21:15 AM
If you enjoy playing music, I guess any interested audience is appreciated. ;D ;D
http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/lXKDu6cdXLI?rel=0 (http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/lXKDu6cdXLI?rel=0)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 11, 2011, 09:52:07 PM
Okay all you clever people out there......tell me how this works!!!!! 
Seriously, if you can figure it out, let me know!
            At first I thought it was because I moved the mouse, but,
I did it again without moving the mouse, then again without even touching the
mouse and it worked.   I even tried not looking at the number until after the
symbol comes up.      Mind boggling!
Check out this link below...

 
            http://www.milaadesign.com/wizardy.html (http://www.milaadesign.com/wizardy.html)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: spg SCOTT on December 11, 2011, 10:36:59 PM
There is probably a mathematical proof to it, but generally I think there is a limited amount of outcomes. If you look at it, the one symbol is used multiple times. And the couple of times i tried it, the numbers that came up each time were the same symbol.


EDIT: Looking at the symbols again, it looks like you always end up with a multiple of 9

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ady4um on December 12, 2011, 12:01:47 AM
EDIT: Looking at the symbols again, it looks like you always end up with a multiple of 9

You don't really need to look to the symbols. They are more random than something else. It is more about statistics. How much time an average user would take to calculate the result, depending on the first chosen number.

The result is always 9 times the *tens* digit, no matter the *units*.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on December 12, 2011, 12:02:42 AM
I did it twice and got two different symbols which it also came up with after a few seconds. I have no idea how it works.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on December 12, 2011, 12:05:09 AM
EDIT: Looking at the symbols again, it looks like you always end up with a multiple of 9

You don't really need to look to the symbols. They are more random than something else. It is more about statistics. How much time an average user would take to calculate the result, depending on the first chosen number.

The result is always 9 times the *tens* digit, no matter the *units*.
Okay you seem to be right about 9 X the first digit. But how does it know what that digit was when you don't enter any data at all? I precalculated everything and did it as fast as possible and it still came up with the right symbol.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: FreewheelinFrank on December 12, 2011, 12:17:08 AM
All multiples of nine have the same symbol, but it's different every time.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ady4um on December 12, 2011, 12:21:01 AM
Take a screen shot and review the symbols. For that specific try, are all the multiples of 9 the same symbols between each other?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on December 12, 2011, 12:21:28 AM
Aha!  That seems to be the answer.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on December 12, 2011, 12:25:32 AM
Hi Dch48,

Maybe we do not have the time for it, well the billion random stories, but this is fun:
http://www.javascriptsource.com/generators/story-generator.html

Enjoy,

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: spg SCOTT on December 12, 2011, 11:42:35 PM
EDIT: Looking at the symbols again, it looks like you always end up with a multiple of 9

You don't really need to look to the symbols. They are more random than something else. It is more about statistics. How much time an average user would take to calculate the result, depending on the first chosen number.

The result is always 9 times the *tens* digit, no matter the *units*.

I know, and like I said, I didn't know the mathematical proof of it. I meant that you can work out the end result, by looking at the symbols you can work out the end result...

And you have also got the actual reason for what happens :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on December 13, 2011, 07:31:08 AM
The bear and the bunny

http://bitsandpieces.us/2011/12/12/the-bear-and-the-bunny/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 17, 2011, 05:21:23 PM
For our friend SpeedyPC  ;D

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I  drink
I feel  shame. Then I look into the glass and  think
about the  workers in the vineyards and all of their  hopes
and  dreams.. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be  out
of work and  their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say  to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let  their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my  liver."
 
WARNING: The  consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened  to your bra and panties.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I feel  sorry for people who don't drink. When  they
wake up in the morning,  that's as good as they're
going to  feel all day. "
~Frank  Sinatra

WARNING: The  consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are 
tougher, smarter,  faster and better looking than most  people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up  reading."


WARNING: The  consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"24 hours  in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think  not."


WARNING: The  consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When we  drink, we get drunk. When we get  drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we  commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's  all
get drunk and go to  heaven!"


WARNING: The  consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Beer is  proof that God loves us and wants us to be  happy."
~ Benjamin  Franklin

WARNING: The  consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a spaz.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Without  question, the greatest invention in  the
history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was  also a fine invention, but the wheel  does
not go nearly as well with  pizza."


WARNING: The  consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
         over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To some,  it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a  can!


WARNING: The  consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex  without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And saving  the best for last, as explained by Cliff  Clavin, of Cheers.
One  afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the  Buffalo Theory
to his buddy  Norm.  Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of  buffalo can only move as
fast as the slowest buffalo. And  when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest
and weakest ones  at the back that are killed first.This natural selection
is good for the herd as a whole,  because the general speed and health of the
whole group keeps improving  by the regular killing of the weakest members
In much the same way, the  human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.
But  naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In
this  way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, 
making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you  always
feel smarter after a few beers."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on December 19, 2011, 03:42:21 AM
For our friend SpeedyPC  ;D

Smartarse have you been watching me through the keyhole and how would you know about a warning consumption of alcohol ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 19, 2011, 08:33:15 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20111219-zb4n-27kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on December 21, 2011, 06:54:27 PM
expecting a delivery from FedEx this christmas ?
 
see video at bottom  ;D

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2076432/FedEx-guy-caught-throwing-monitor-fence-YouTube-video.html
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on December 22, 2011, 06:23:08 AM
The Parrot Sketch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npjOSLCR2hE&feature=youtu.be&noredirect=1
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: True Indian on December 26, 2011, 05:26:35 AM
Indian hit song: why this Kolaveri DI:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR12Z8f1Dh8

Listen to it and enjoy guys!  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on December 26, 2011, 05:42:02 AM
Indian hit song: why this Kolaveri DI:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR12Z8f1Dh8

Listen to it and enjoy guys!  ;D

Stop posting usless crap all over the forum  >:( you obviously cant read the topic heading as it does state funny ( you youtube clip is not funny ) as well as it being sung in another language and this is an english forum.
Day by day you are becoming more and more annoying, when you and your kiddy friends are finished playing computer repair shop maybe you can go out and do what most kids do like skateboarding  ::)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: True Indian on December 26, 2011, 05:46:35 AM
I am not a KId... ??? ::)

sorry for that crap i posted.

[the song has english in it its a mix]
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on December 26, 2011, 05:56:59 AM
I am not a KId... ??? ::)

sorry for that crap i posted.

[the song has english in it its a mix]
You could have fooled me, your forum attitude is very childish.

No need to reply. ::)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 03, 2012, 12:52:56 AM
I don't usually recommend watching commercials.
This one is the exception:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HfWr7JIeNA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HfWr7JIeNA)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on January 03, 2012, 01:22:48 AM
quote Dean Martin

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.    ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on January 03, 2012, 04:54:27 AM
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
 

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
 
'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.
 
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so
 I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security,
 wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible
dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and
 now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
 
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard'
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 03, 2012, 05:04:25 AM
I don't usually recommend watching commercials.
This one is the exception:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HfWr7JIeNA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HfWr7JIeNA)

God CRIKEY :o Bob..............I call it Dyson vacuum sucking beer goggles ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: TedNelly on January 03, 2012, 12:22:00 PM
The FBI had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists:
Two men and a woman.
 
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair .... Kill her!'

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
 
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room.
All was quiet for about 5 minutes.
The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
 
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband.
She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.
"This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. I had to beat him to death with the chair."

MORAL:
Women are crazy. Don't mess with them. but we lovem all
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 05, 2012, 02:33:36 PM
I don't usually recommend watching commercials.
This one is the exception:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HfWr7JIeNA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HfWr7JIeNA)
Added: 2 days ago
From: bob3160
Views: 10,228

I guess a few people must have liked this and passed it along.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on January 05, 2012, 04:24:49 PM
I missed this first time around, +1 more view. Laugh I nearly wet myself ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 05, 2012, 11:15:46 PM
I don't usually recommend watching commercials.
This one is the exception:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HfWr7JIeNA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HfWr7JIeNA)
Added: 2 days ago
From: bob3160
Views: 10,228

I guess a few people must have liked this and passed it along.  ;D

This is totally crazy... now up to 23,637
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 06, 2012, 05:11:32 AM
I don't usually recommend watching commercials.
This one is the exception:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HfWr7JIeNA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HfWr7JIeNA)
Added: 2 days ago
From: bob3160
Views: 10,228

I guess a few people must have liked this and passed it along.  ;D

This is totally crazy... now up to 23,637

Unless you'll like to have a drink of XXXX Beer Bob which it made in Australia ;) ;D IF you don't usually recommend watching a Dyson vacuum cleaner commercials.

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0c/XXXX_Beers.jpg/640px-XXXX_Beers.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 06, 2012, 07:45:52 AM
Man I just had a good laugh see below ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 07, 2012, 02:47:58 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120107-k0jw-55kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 11, 2012, 03:35:09 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120111-hxb7-36kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 11, 2012, 03:43:42 PM
Bob you should keep this bird because he loves you and that why he trying to say 'Good morning Polly Wanna Old Fart Cracker with Cheese'  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 12, 2012, 07:22:23 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120112-lx1m-28kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on January 12, 2012, 10:40:30 PM
ROFL!  What a relief, I thought everything I was going through was part of getting older (66 now).   ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 13, 2012, 05:20:59 AM
ROFL!  What a relief, I thought everything I was going through was part of getting older (66 now).   ;)

My Grand-dad said the same thing when he went past me and saw what bob had post, and he laughed for about 20mins then he said to me he loves being crispy at 85 years of age when he stretch himself every morning ;)

Good one Bob ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on January 13, 2012, 08:54:19 PM
Back before I reached the "magic" age of 65, I was getting both government and private disability benefits for my brain injury.  One of my favorite excuses for not remembering things was "Between my age and my head injury ...". Since my disability ended at 65 (the government portion automatically converted to old-age benefits), I suppose I can no longer use the second half of that excuse?   8) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 13, 2012, 09:41:24 PM
As a person who long ago suffered from a brain aneurysm, I haven't used that excuse for a long time.
I do however blame most of my recovery on my computer and this forum for making my brain
work hard at recovery.  :)
(I also thank God every day for allowing me continue to enjoy life!  :) )
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: YoKenny on January 14, 2012, 12:16:26 AM
As a person who long ago suffered from a brain aneurysm, I haven't used that excuse for a long time.
I do however blame most of my recovery on my computer and this forum for making my brain
work hard at recovery.  :)
(I also thank God every day for allowing me continue to enjoy life!  :) )
Plus a supportive wife that lets you travel a lot.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 14, 2012, 12:25:03 AM
As a person who long ago suffered from a brain aneurysm, I haven't used that excuse for a long time.
I do however blame most of my recovery on my computer and this forum for making my brain
work hard at recovery.  :)
(I also thank God every day for allowing me continue to enjoy life!  :) )
Plus a supportive wife that lets you travel a lot.
There is a PLUS, she'll get to go with me on the next trip (http://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=78426.msg714840#msg714840).
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 15, 2012, 04:10:59 PM
My Neighbor came over.......

(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120115-8wdz-34kb.jpg)

She's single...
 
She lives right across the street.
 
I can see her house from my family room.
 
I watched as she got home from work this evening.
 
I was surprised when she walked across the street and up
my driveway.
 
She knocked on my door...
 
I rushed to open it.
 
She looks at me, and says,
 
“I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time,
get drunk, and make love all night long!
 
Are you busy tonight?”
 
I mmediately replied, “Nope, I'm free... I have no plans at all!”
 


Then she said, “Good!

  In that case, could you watch my dog?"
 
  MAN... IT'S NO FUN GETTING   OLD!!!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on January 15, 2012, 04:13:49 PM
LOL. ;D
Bob, at least you don't run into any troubles with Alice. ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 15, 2012, 04:31:15 PM
LOL. ;D
Bob, at least you don't run into any troubles with Alice. ;)
Only because she hasn't seen what I posted.... ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on January 15, 2012, 04:34:53 PM
LOL. ;D
Bob, at least you don't run into any troubles with Alice. ;)
Only because she hasn't seen what I posted.... ;D ;D ;D

Well, I won't tell her. ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on January 16, 2012, 08:58:27 PM
The Centre for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.
This virus is called:
 
 W eary
 O verload
 R ecreational
 K iller
 

If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT.
 This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.
 Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes:
 
 W ork
 I solating
 N eutralizer
 E xtract
 

and
 
 B othersome
 E mployer
 E limination
 R ebooter

 
Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life. Trusting you will do the right thing.

P.S. If you have developed immunity from WINE and BEER, then as a last resort, take:
 
 V iral
 A ntidote for
 C ontagious
 A nxiety
 T axing
 I ncessant
 O verwork
 N eurosis) for 2 weeks.
 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 18, 2012, 12:55:19 AM
I just finished putting this together

My review of Norton

(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120117-zgkr-9kb.jpg)

http://youtu.be/5958lSV66qY (http://youtu.be/5958lSV66qY)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on January 18, 2012, 05:11:08 PM
A VERY LOGICAL STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM - - Judged by a dumb teacher ??
 I would have given him 100%, Or at least 90% -
 
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.


And last but not least - - -
 

Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: !Donovan on January 21, 2012, 02:48:53 PM
I would have given him 100%, Or at least 90%
+1

That guy has a logical answer for every question! ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 24, 2012, 02:15:00 PM
(http://forum.avast.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=85679.0;attach=74852)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on January 24, 2012, 03:43:32 PM
We will prize it from your cold, dead, crispy, hand.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on January 25, 2012, 05:29:41 PM
who is the tuff one here.....Cat or Gator     ;D


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_29k6dJ6DA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiyWXQyAJ44

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on January 25, 2012, 06:39:12 PM
Just watched it on the TV news.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on January 27, 2012, 01:52:47 PM
How Many Security Researchers Does It Take to Rob a Bank?
http://www.kleczynski.com/blog/2011/12/how-many-security-researchers-does-it-take-to-rob-a-bank/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 02, 2012, 01:14:13 AM
(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/icQYNdoT6Q53mtt0NY-ZXmO7loVYHpMXrgiboB-UZwkZbcQ4lHh10_cjj39Rb_hwRhqxIO7vmsg6qZjXHjkHonjmEm525bpXcbOnniO0xqYMFRp1SNI)

It's getting close to our 52nd Wedding Anniversary.

Here's how we decided to celebrate it (https://docs.google.com/leaf?id=0B-vSic0iJgyeNzliZmJmNDctYzczMC00NWUzLWEyNDAtMmFlNTVmNmIzNzM0&hl=en_US)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on February 02, 2012, 01:33:55 AM
It's getting close to our 52nd Wedding Anniversary.

Congrats Bob & Alice..!! :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 02, 2012, 03:02:14 AM
It's getting close to our 52nd Wedding Anniversary.

Congrats Bob & Alice..!! :)
Thanks,
It's on March 1, and I'll be Arizona working.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 09, 2012, 01:22:27 PM
This ought to make us feel better about  our computer skills!
 
Tech  support:    What kind of computer do you have?
Customer:    A  white one...
Tech  support:    Click  on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:    Your left or my left?
 
****************************
 
Customer:    Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find  printer'. 
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
 
****************************
 
Tech  support:    What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:    A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
 
****************************
 
Customer:   My keyboard  is not working anymore.
Tech  support:   Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:   No. I can't  get behind the computer.
Tech  support:    Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: !   OK
Tech support:   Did the  keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech support:   That means the keyboard  is not plugged in.
 
****************************
 
Customer:   I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:    Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:   Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech  support:    Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:   Five dots.
 
****************************
 
Tech  support:    What  anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:   Netscape.
Tech support:   That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:   Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
 
****************************
 
Customer:     I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,
but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
 
****************************
 
Tech support:    How may I help you?
Customer:   I'm writing my first email.
Tech support:    OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:   Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
 
****************************
 
This one and the next are our personal favorites!
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support:   Are you running it under windows?
Customer:   'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me
is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
 
****************************
 
And last but not least!
Tech  support: 'Okay Bob, let's  press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list
in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program  Manager.'
Customer:   I don't have a P.
Tech  support:   On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:   What do you mean?
Tech support:   'P'.....on  your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:   I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 09, 2012, 05:16:04 PM
Quote
This ought to make us feel better about  our computer skills!
yepp...it did   ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on February 09, 2012, 07:59:07 PM
A while back, like in 2000, I was working with a friend in his computer business. We did troubleshooting over the phone at times. My two favorites that i personally encountered were these.

A guy was trying to install a program that was on 3 or 4 3.5 floppies. He called and asked how to do it. I told him to insert the first disc to start the process. He did so and a short time later he says "Now what? it says insert disc 2." I told him to go ahead and do that and then click on okay. Another short time later he says it's not doing anything so I asked if he put the second disk in. He says "Yeah, I did but nothing happened and now they're both stuck in there and I can't get them out."

Another guy was trying to access the context menu and couldn't figure it out. I said, "It's very easy, just right click on the item and the menu should come up". He says, "right click? what do you mean?". I said, "Click the right mouse button". He goes "Right mouse button? I only have one mouse".
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 09, 2012, 11:14:49 PM
What the Groundog Saw!

(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120209-1x0b-18kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 09, 2012, 11:41:42 PM
are you freezing, very cold car....here is the soultion...see the video   ;D

http://www.videoportal.sf.tv/video?id=5783b4ce-1a8e-4278-8a0e-82199eecb867
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 09, 2012, 11:59:35 PM
are you freezing, very cold car....here is the soultion...see the video   ;D

http://www.videoportal.sf.tv/video?id=5783b4ce-1a8e-4278-8a0e-82199eecb867
I'd hate to be the passenger who has to sit ontop of this new "seat"
Would certainly be classified as a "hot seat".  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 10, 2012, 12:53:42 AM
one big advantage ....it works with the engine off   ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on February 10, 2012, 02:08:06 AM
But they didn't show that it was also the reason for his haircut.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: True Indian on February 10, 2012, 10:52:09 AM
Dedicated to wifes...


Newly married girl....after a year after marriage... she gives a call to her mother.


Girl:U know what mom we had a fight today.

mother:Oh dear! but it happens u know....u have to put up with it.

Girl:OK...now where i should take my husbands body. :o
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 10, 2012, 01:35:02 PM
Funny AD been removed for misleading
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 10, 2012, 02:10:51 PM
Hey Speedy,
I thought this was supposed to be funny  not advertisement for competitors ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 10, 2012, 02:14:48 PM
Hey Speedy,
I thought this was supposed to be funny  not advertisement for competitors ???

I know Bob I just got carried away ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 10, 2012, 03:27:53 PM
Hey Speedy,
I thought this was supposed to be funny  not advertisement for competitors ???

I know Bob I just got carried away ;)
but the ad is still there ???  :o
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 10, 2012, 03:32:23 PM
Done ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 11, 2012, 03:50:46 AM



























G[/font]eometric Logic


Never quite saw it this way - but, it's an interesting assessment

The Wonder of it All

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
         And....

6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
Therefore, one might conclude, there must be a ton of people in Washington playing marbles!
[/font][/color][/size]</blockquote>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 11, 2012, 02:58:42 PM
The Shredder
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 11, 2012, 03:24:52 PM
I used to be a Boss and can certainly attest to that.  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 11, 2012, 03:26:45 PM
Really Bob are you sure you're a good boss or a spoiled brat ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 11, 2012, 03:33:44 PM
Really Bob are you sure you're a good boss or a spoiled brat ;D
You can be a spoiled brat and still be either a good or a bad boss.   


Being a spoiled brat has no bearing on anything except what kind of brat you are.  ???


(you don't want to get into a word pis.ing match with me do you ???  ;D )
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on February 11, 2012, 05:21:56 PM
Bob the formatting of your post at Reply #150 above http://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=85679.msg741115#msg741115 (http://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=85679.msg741115#msg741115) appears to be messed up large blank space at the top of the post.

Is there meant to be anything in there as it appears blank for about 20 lines before the first line G[/font]eometric Logic.

The reason I ask is for the problems I have been having with forum permissions and I can't see some things.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on February 11, 2012, 05:24:11 PM
The reason I ask is for the problems I have been having with forum permissions and I can't see some things.

It looks the same to me.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: spg SCOTT on February 11, 2012, 05:26:05 PM
nothing there, just space...quote it and you will see...;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on February 11, 2012, 05:27:12 PM
nothing there, just space...quote it and you will see...;)

Seems he tried to build some tables there.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 11, 2012, 05:28:31 PM
Bob the formatting of your post at Reply #150 above http://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=85679.msg741115#msg741115 (http://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=85679.msg741115#msg741115) appears to be messed up large blank space at the top of the post.

Is there meant to be anything in there as it appears blank for about 20 lines before the first line Geometric Logic.

The reason I ask is for the problems I have been having with forum permissions and I can't see some things.
David,
It has to do with the fact that text size is no longer available and all post in which the function was used are affected.  :(


There are other formatting things that have been eliminated and older posts now look like someone
didn't know what they where doing when they originally made their post.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on February 11, 2012, 05:32:22 PM
There are other formatting things that have been eliminated and older posts now look like someone
didn't know what they where doing when they originally made their post.

Well, that explains it.
Hope we get these "formatting things" back soon..!!!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on February 11, 2012, 05:44:00 PM
Hi bob3160,

You will soon get the feel with this new forum outlay. It soon will be fitting you like a glove,

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 11, 2012, 05:46:50 PM
Hi bob3160,

You will soon get the feel with this new forum outlay. It soon will be fitting you like a glove,

polonus


Damien,
I don't have a problem with the new forums   The problem has to do with things posted
before the changes went into effect and the fact that those posts now look like crapp.  :(
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on February 11, 2012, 05:48:09 PM
@ Bob
I generally don't use the regular reply window preferring to use the Quick Reply window and there are no formatting effects in that. So I use a firefox add-on that is invaluable, bbcodeXtra and it is a godsend, see image. 

Whilst it takes a little time to get used to, it is a real time saver and now it should cover those missing formatting options in the Reply window.

I don't know if there is an equivalent add-on for your browser.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on February 11, 2012, 05:55:33 PM
Whilst it takes a little time to get used to, it is a real time saver and now it should cover those missing formatting options in the Reply window.

The problem is that this wouldn't help, when e.g. "font size" isn't supported anymore by the forum.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 11, 2012, 06:08:09 PM
David nothing in Chrome like that and as Asyn said it's no longer supported.
My objections aren't related to current and future bost but to those done in the past
which now look like hell and have lost the effects originally created through formatting.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on February 11, 2012, 06:08:42 PM
Ahh, I though they had just dropped the tool from the list of options, not that it is no longer supported.

I have to admit that I rarely used a change in font size.

A sneaky round it is you want a smaller size you could try the Sup or Sub tags as that reduces the size, but places the text up or down on the line.

reduces the size, but places the text up or down on the line.
reduces the size, but places the text up or down on the line.
reduces the size, but places the text up or down on the line.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on February 11, 2012, 06:19:05 PM
A sneaky round it is you want a smaller size you could try the Sup or Sub tags as that reduces the size, but places the text up or down on the line.

And how to make it bigger..?? ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 11, 2012, 06:32:08 PM
They are probably using a new font size scale. 
On some forums like it used to be on this one, the font size is based on the actual font size numbers that we all Know
Some uses a different scale which goes from one 1-10 where 10is extremely large and 1 very small.


If you introduce that to this forum and under the old system someone applied a font size of 36,
You would have a real mess on your hands.
I'm only guessing but that could be one of the reasons.
To make sure that can't happen again, simply stop using font re-sizing.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on February 11, 2012, 06:56:46 PM
Note: "Font Size" is back..!! :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 11, 2012, 07:02:54 PM
Note: "Font Size" is back..!! :)
But it didn't fix the damage done to all of the old post's that where affected.  :(
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on February 11, 2012, 07:12:37 PM
Note: "Font Size" is back..!! :)
But it didn't fix the damage done to all of the old post's that where affected.  :(

It did fix all of mine old posts, where I used it.
I guess you need other formatting options back..!! ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on February 11, 2012, 07:49:23 PM
A sneaky round it is you want a smaller size you could try the Sup or Sub tags as that reduces the size, but places the text up or down on the line.

And how to make it bigger..?? ;)

Wear glasses ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on February 11, 2012, 07:53:18 PM
Wear glasses ;D

LOL ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: spg SCOTT on February 11, 2012, 08:06:30 PM
A sneaky round it is you want a smaller size you could try the Sup or Sub tags as that reduces the size, but places the text up or down on the line.

And how to make it bigger..?? ;)

Wear glasses ;D

I think I need some new ones...mine make everything smaller :P

(they are for distance, and so do that, but yeah)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 12, 2012, 06:26:46 AM
Wear glasses ;D

LOL ;D

Well I am wearing glasses any way and I can sure you the text fonts are bigger enough for me to READ 8) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 13, 2012, 01:06:03 PM
Ouch!

(http://i594.photobucket.com/albums/tt21/Matty_R54321/doberman.gif)

Meet the new Avast dog, the dog that bites male ware.
Brings tears.


LOL i just have to point out the dog below even Scooby Doo doesn't want to smell those knickers even for a scooby-snack ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 16, 2012, 10:28:56 PM
Learn Chinese in 5 minutes

velly impotant you read them aloud     ;D

http://www.grineflip.dk/funstuff/chinese.htm



OBS: there are two pages   ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 17, 2012, 04:08:06 AM
Learn Chinese in 5 minutes

velly impotant you read them aloud     ;D

http://www.grineflip.dk/funstuff/chinese.htm



OBS: there are two pages   ;)

I was wondering how to say FO ;) in Chinese cause this has to work every time ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on February 17, 2012, 08:33:35 PM
A sneaky round it is you want a smaller size you could try the Sup or Sub tags as that reduces the size, but places the text up or down on the line.

And how to make it bigger..?? ;)

Wear glasses ;D


Or install NoSquint!!! It's working brilliant!  ;D

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 17, 2012, 09:01:42 PM
For those that use the Google Chrome Browser (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5y8O_JbXUs)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: !Donovan on February 17, 2012, 09:05:02 PM
For those that use the Google Chrome Browser

"If your using Firefox..."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on February 17, 2012, 09:26:43 PM
For those that use the Google Chrome Browser

"If your using Firefox..."

Of course  ;D  ...... And I'm not going to be married with 'Google'
So for me 'NoSquint' is, what I was looking for.  ;D
Rising up I wear my 'outdoor'-glasses and if I have to read a newspaper or doing sth. with my PC I wear others.

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 17, 2012, 09:34:12 PM
For those that use the Google Chrome Browser

"If your using Firefox..."

Of course  ;D  ...... And I'm not going to be married with 'Google'
So for me 'NoSquint' is, what I was looking for.  ;D
Rising up I wear my 'outdoor'-glasses and if I have to read a newspaper or doing sth. with my PC I wear others.
For those that use the Google Chrome Browser (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5y8O_JbXUs)



I'm actually married to my wife.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on February 17, 2012, 09:36:22 PM
For those that use the Google Chrome Browser

"If your using Firefox..."

Of course  ;D  ...... And I'm not going to be married with 'Google'
So for me 'NoSquint' is, what I was looking for.  ;D
Rising up I wear my 'outdoor'-glasses and if I have to read a newspaper or doing sth. with my PC I wear others.
For those that use the Google Chrome Browser (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5y8O_JbXUs)



I'm actually married to my wife.  ;D

Really?  ;D

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on February 18, 2012, 12:20:44 AM
O.k.. This is something for everybody, who loves cats. We have one, 3 colors and female.

She has a white feeding dish. Inside is a foto of a white and brown cat and outside are 3 other fotos belonging to the (last 3) sentences following here:

- You own a dog but you feed a cat.
- Buy in bulk the food your cat adores - and be withered with contempt.
- It's wonderful how far a cat can elongate its arm when it needs to steel a roasted chicken
   leg.
- The most refined cat can swear like a fishwife. "This is yesterday's water in my bowl."

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 21, 2012, 12:56:01 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 21, 2012, 02:35:05 AM
@Pondus: ROFLMAO! I nearly fell out of my chair and nearly landed my chin at the edge of the computer table.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 21, 2012, 04:17:30 PM
OK Speedy....here is one more   ;D

When Top Level Guys Look Down......
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on February 21, 2012, 05:05:03 PM
Or the more bread you have the less sh1t you eat.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 21, 2012, 06:20:56 PM
That depicts the average people on the bottom and all the politicians on top. ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 22, 2012, 12:29:05 AM
That depicts the average people on the bottom and all the politicians on top. ;D

@Bob the same thing goes to corporate directors when they get to greedy against employers, because they know when they look up to board directors their arsehole anyway.

@Pondus: bloody good one I've print it out and keep it when I found a job, and I'll place this at my new office desk ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 22, 2012, 12:49:48 AM
Quote
@Pondus: bloody good one I've print it out and keep it when I found a job, and I'll place this at my new office desk
you could try to put it in the job application......as a test....on first page    ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 22, 2012, 08:50:19 PM
Most Annoying Sound Ever......

turn up the volum and play....you may scare the cat/dog    ;D

http://ahrcanum.wordpress.com/2009/09/22/rining-noise-mosquito-whine-haarp-aliens-elf-implant/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on February 22, 2012, 09:52:06 PM
It seems those industrious Japanese will sell anything these days.

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 24, 2012, 02:08:39 PM
Car parking    ;D

New big car    http://www.sol.no/klipps/video/smart_bil_men_smart_parkering
 
alternative solution  http://www.sol.no/klipps/video/selvsagt_er_det_plass



Laurel and Hardy at work   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt_r-jO3lKE
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: TedNelly on February 24, 2012, 02:38:36 PM
Nice one ...very funny    from one extreme to another. Love the running commentary in the first clip

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Omid Farhang on February 24, 2012, 03:45:26 PM
Good ones Pondus!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 25, 2012, 02:13:59 PM
Pool and Cheese Cake (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaIlDPfxtO8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 25, 2012, 02:29:42 PM
Pool and Cheese Cake (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaIlDPfxtO8)

I wish I was the coolest pool player while having a great good looking chick lying on the pool table doing all these great tricks ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 26, 2012, 10:04:17 AM
anyone wonder why there are lots of gun accidents in the US    ::)


Astounding Gentleman Shoots Himself in the Stomach Point Blank to Test Body Armor
http://gizmodo.com/5888035/astounding-idiot-shoots-himself-in-the-stomach-to-test-body-armor
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 26, 2012, 11:34:46 AM
How is that funny ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 26, 2012, 01:28:17 PM
How is that funny ???
i think stupidity is funny.........no!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: spg SCOTT on February 26, 2012, 01:49:04 PM
Depends. I seem to remember hearing (watching?) that this was the early testing method, and method to try and prove the usefulness of it. That would improve my confidence in that product than 10000 range shots on armour.
There have been many scientific (etc) improvements by people who are pushing boundaries and those that were willing to test the product.


On the other hand, if he was being stupid about it, and knows nothing about what/why it is happening then well...
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 26, 2012, 02:07:49 PM
well...in this case i would trust that those that made the product have tested it before i got it.... + any certification stuff.

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 28, 2012, 01:24:27 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120228-1k8b-91kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 02, 2012, 12:50:35 PM
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years
 and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.
 
Not to be outdone by the Brit's, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet,
 and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times: ........ ......... ..
 "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already
 had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British".
 
One week later, the state’s Dept of Minerals and Energy in Western Australia , reported the following:
 "After digging as deep as 30 feet in Western Australia’s Pilbara region, Jack Lucknow, a self-taught archaeologist,
 reported that he found absolutely f**k all.

Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Australia had already gone wireless."
 
Just makes you bloody proud to be Australian doesn’t it?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 02, 2012, 06:02:32 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 12, 2012, 06:29:13 AM
Bored at the airport (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFpnYW_cQuE)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on March 14, 2012, 01:30:16 AM
Finally--the answer to why the Dinosaurs went extinct.

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on March 14, 2012, 07:26:59 PM
Another mystery of history solved

The purpose of Stonehenge

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: TheFireflame11 on March 16, 2012, 03:24:09 AM
OMG that was fudging funny! roflmfao!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 17, 2012, 12:00:34 PM
The older you get....the more difficult is the be updated on new tecnology   ;D

How Not to Use an iPad
EDIT link  http://www.maniacworld.com/how-not-to-use-your-ipad.html




full size movi.file download here  http://www.mediafire.com/?t4i4in5bn9t79l2
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on March 17, 2012, 12:50:08 PM
The older you get....the more difficult is the be updated on new tecnology   ;D

How Not to Use an iPad
http://www.marfdrat.net/2012/03/12/how-not-to-use-an-ipad/#.T2RtV-UZmM5

full size movi.file download here  http://www.mediafire.com/?t4i4in5bn9t79l2

I'm having some trouble seeing the clip you've post from marfdrat.net site so I found a new link some people might have the same problem.

http://www.maniacworld.com/how-not-to-use-your-ipad.html

Any way my grand-mother had the same problem too when she pickup my mother mobile phone which she thought it was a TV hand remote control device, and she keeps on complaining to the remote control TV and she didn't realise it was a mobile phone she nearly bashed the TV with a cricket bat. I've been die laughing so hard for a month at my grand-mother ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on March 17, 2012, 02:06:49 PM
Not too surprising, some have problems with marfdrat.net, if you can see the amount of scripts and cross site scripting going on in that page
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on March 17, 2012, 02:12:55 PM
Not too surprising, some have problems with marfdrat.net, if you can see the amount of scripts and cross site scripting going on in that page

+1
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on March 17, 2012, 04:48:40 PM
Not too surprising, some have problems with marfdrat.net, if you can see the amount of scripts and cross site scripting going on in that page

Wow. :o
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on March 17, 2012, 05:00:51 PM
I'm surprised at the amount of cross site scripting on some sites, but this one takes the biscuit.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: !Donovan on March 17, 2012, 07:48:31 PM
Not too surprising, some have problems with marfdrat.net, if you can see the amount of scripts and cross site scripting going on in that page

Wow. :o
Same expression when I visited the site and checked my NoScript for scripts to allow so I could watch it.

I'll just stick to the MediaFire link. ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on March 17, 2012, 08:38:56 PM
I just watched it in IE9 with no problems and didn't worry about the scripts.  ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on March 17, 2012, 09:11:09 PM
I just watched it in IE9 with no problems and didn't worry about the scripts.  ;)

You ought to, as drive by scripts and commonly cross site scripting are how most people get infected.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on March 18, 2012, 04:27:35 AM
I just watched it in IE9 with no problems and didn't worry about the scripts.  ;)

You ought to, as drive by scripts and commonly cross site scripting are how most people get infected.
IE does a very good job of protecting against that with no addons needed. Add to that the script shield of Avast which also works best in IE and I don't think I need to worry.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on March 18, 2012, 01:29:52 PM
My comments aren't just for your consumption, but also for others viewing this topic, what you do with your own system is down to you. But to say don't worry about scripts, when they are responsible for much of the malware people get isn't great advice.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on March 18, 2012, 01:42:15 PM
My comments aren't just for your consumption, but also for others viewing this topic, what you do with your own system is down to you. But to say don't worry about scripts, when they are responsible for much of the malware people get isn't great advice.

While we get OT on an OT thread.... (A bit strange, isn't it...!?) ;D
....I 100% agree with Dave.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 23, 2012, 06:19:07 PM
What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield?   ;D
http://theoatmeal.com/djtaf/j/31



so...to remove all these bugs, you need lots of Windshield washer fluid

how may liters do you need to remove a paraglider   ;D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGAMKaC-EQk


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 28, 2012, 12:43:40 AM
GRANDPARENTS ANSWERING MACHINE


Good morning . . . At present we are not at home but, please Leave your message after you hear the beep.
beeeeeppp ....


If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who it is.
If you need us to stay with the children, press 2
If you want to borrow the car, press 3
If you want us to wash your clothes, press 4
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7
If you want to come to eat here, press 8
If you need money, press 9
If you are going to invite us to dinner, or taking us to the theater, start talking we are listening!!!!!!!!!!!"
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 28, 2012, 12:44:53 AM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120327-zpeh-53kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120327-zpeh-53kb)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on March 28, 2012, 12:53:53 AM
Hi bob3160,

Yes rather funny. But in earnest these messages and also messages on the Internet about people being away could be read by unfriendly people that could come and visit your premishes while not being invited. There is also a scam site where peolpe could look up their eventual time of death, to only find later that these data were used to commit personal data theft. All real and all dangerous examples that to give away too much information is risky. Better that the answering machine does not reveal where you are hanging out,
 
polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 28, 2012, 01:24:26 AM
Hi bob3160,

Yes rather funny. But in earnest these messages and also messages on the Internet about people being away could be read by unfriendly people that could come and visit your premishes while not being invited. There is also a scam site where peolpe could look up their eventual time of death, to only find later that these data were used to commit personal data theft. All real and all dangerous examples that to give away too much information is risky. Better that the answering machine does not reveal where you are hanging out,
 
polonus
Polonus,
This picture has nothing to do with me. Not all of us assume the worst. :) Some of us have friends that watch and stay in the house when we're away. :)

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on March 28, 2012, 01:55:16 AM
Hi bob3160,

Off course I was not thinking of you. This was just meant as a general warning. But there is always a lot of thruth in humour,

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on March 28, 2012, 05:48:59 AM
My answering machine said the following:

"Hello, I'm an answering machine
My master can't come to the phone right now but if you leave a message after the tone, I'll be glad to relay it to him and maybe he'll even get back to you."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on March 28, 2012, 10:58:54 PM
My personal favorite included "At the sound of the beep ... if you don't know what to do then, I probably don't wanna talk to you anyway."  ;)

I usually ignore incoming long-distance calls showing as unidentified, especially toll-free numbers which are almost invariably sales pitches.  But once in a while I like to pick up the phone anyway and answer "City morgue -- you kill 'em, we chill 'em."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on March 28, 2012, 11:04:40 PM
But once in a while I like to pick up the phone anyway and answer "City morgue -- you kill 'em, we chill 'em."

LOL ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on March 29, 2012, 11:46:59 PM
Really. If it were so easy, we would not need Essexboy. You are out pal  ;)

How to get rid of a virus.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/upgrade-your-life/computer-virus-remove-195435755.html

 ;D  ;D  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on March 30, 2012, 02:30:07 AM
Well she actually did a better job and was far more accurate than iYogi in their videos. The steps she took would probably clean up most of the infections people would get unlike the iYogi videos where the recommended procedures were worthless.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on March 30, 2012, 02:59:25 AM
Well she actually did a better job and was far more accurate than iYogi in their videos. The steps she took would probably clean up most of the infections people would get unlike the iYogi videos where the recommended procedures were worthless.

Better than iYogi for sure  ;D. Programs to use very good. Specially the part recommending Avast!  8). Methodology also good. Enough for easy to remove malware and get you going, but in IMHO you need to follow up with expert help to be sure there is nothing else hidden that can reinfect the comp. So the video gives you a false security impression. Makes it look too simple.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on April 01, 2012, 09:31:39 PM
Hi bob3160!

I hope you are not angry about my copying your picture with the yellow boat, 3 girls and the cat (looks like mine 3 colored cat, which now has to ware a collar made of plastic).
Thanks.
HDW38
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 01, 2012, 09:36:49 PM
Hi bob3160!

I hope you are not angry about my copying your picture with the yellow boat, 3 girls and the cat (looks like mine 3 colored cat, which now has to ware a collar made of plastic).
Thanks.
HDW38

Anything in here is available to use as any one sees fit. :)


(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120401-d1in-56kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120401-d1in-56kb)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on April 01, 2012, 09:54:37 PM
Hi bob3160!

I hope you are not angry about my copying your picture with the yellow boat, 3 girls and the cat (looks like mine 3 colored cat, which now has to ware a collar made of plastic).
Thanks.
HDW38

Anything in here is available to use as any one sees fit. :)


(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120401-d1in-56kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120401-d1in-56kb)

It just happened! Somehow, sometime, somewhere.......

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on April 02, 2012, 11:08:30 PM
HOW THE FIGHT STARTED . . . . .
 
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
 
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
 
When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
 
And that's how the fight started.....
 
________________________________
 
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
 
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
 
"No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
 
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
 
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
 
And that's how the fight started...
 
________________________________
 
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
 
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
 
"Yes", she sighed. "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
 
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
 
And that is how the fight started...
 
________________________________
 
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get i t fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer... Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
 
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again, handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
 
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
 
______________________________
 
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
 
She asked, "What's on TV?"
 
I said, "Dust."
 
And then the fight started...
 
________________________________
 
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
 boat to the truck and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
 
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
 
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
 
And that's how the fight started...
 
_______________________________
 
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
 
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
 
I bought her a bathroom scale.
 
And then the fight started......
 
______________________________
 
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver'slicense to verify my age.
 
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
 
The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt. " So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
 
She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed my Social Security application.
 
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too. "
 
And then the fight started...
 
________________________________
 
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
 "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
 
I replied, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."
 
And then the fight started...
 
________________________________
 
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
 
He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy! "
 So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then? "
 That's how the fight started…
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: !Donovan on April 02, 2012, 11:46:51 PM
roflmao the whole time lol



some of the best fights i've ever heard of ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on April 03, 2012, 04:26:17 AM
Good fights Craib. I am still laughing. I love the one with the bathroom scale  ;D

Well I am no good at telling jokes but this is a lesson in life for all of us. Hope you get it after translation and Avast! filter.

A little chicken was being chased down by a fox. The little chicken turned around the barn and into a pasture field full of cows. In its hasty fleet the little chicken did no see the big cow dung that fell on top of it and covering it completly. The fox arriving to the pasture field started looking for the chick until it heard the chick; sh..pio, sh..pio..sh..pio (obviouly I can't say the real word but you get the meaning ). The fox inmediately grabbed the chiken out of the dung, cleaned it and ate it.

So what is to be learnt of this story ?

Not all who dung ( you understand ) on you is your enemy because as you saw the cow saved the little chicken, at least momentarily.

Not all who get you out of the dung is your friend because as you saw the fox got the chick out of it, but  ate the chick anyways.

And most important when you feel that you are in a real big pile of dung and up to your head in it. keep quiet. Don't say sh..pio, sh..pio. It may save your life. 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on April 03, 2012, 06:37:32 AM
A bear was chasing a rabbit and was about to catch and devour him when there was a puff of smoke and a beautiful faerie of the forest appeared. Both of the animals were so surprised that they stopped in their tracks . The faerie spoke. " Come come, what is going on here?"

 The rabbit said, "He's always chasing me trying to kill and eat me and I'm sick of it". The bear said, "Hey, I'm a bear and that's what bears do". The faerie spoke again. "Boys, there is no need to fear. I am here to grant each of you 3 wishes and help to resolve this conflict." "Mister Bear, you will get the first wish".

The bear thought for a minute and then said, "Okay, I wish that every bear in these woods except for me was female." The faerie said, "Done, now it's your turn Mister Rabbit."

The rabbit quickly said, "I want a motorcycle helmet." The faerie said. "Okay, it's a strange request but done." and the rabbit was wearing his helmet. "Okay, now time for your second wish, Mister Bear" said the faerie.

The bear quickly replied, "Okay, I want every bear in the entire state except me to be female". "Done" the faerie responded. "Mister Rabbit, your next wish please".

The rabbit said, "Now I want the fastest motorcycle in the world sized so I can ride it". "Ah, okay, now the helmet makes more sense, done", said the faerie and the rabbit had his bike. "Now for your final wishes, think and make them good. You go first again Mister Bear".

The bear said, "I'm going for broke. I want every bear except me on the entire continent to be female." Once again the faerie said "Done" and then asked the rabbit for his third and final request.

 The rabbit climbed on the motorcycle, strapped on the helmet, fired up the motor and said, "I wish Mister Bear to be gay" and rapidly rode off into the sunset.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: deyani on April 03, 2012, 07:21:13 AM
hehe... nice story for good morning! :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on April 11, 2012, 04:03:29 PM
Easter Funnys, The Chicken

http://www.terrisfp1.com/holidays/chick.html
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on April 11, 2012, 04:28:46 PM
Easter Funnys, The Chicken

http://www.terrisfp1.com/holidays/chick.html

Smart arse Easter Chicken (as craigb the Chicken) ;D ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on April 12, 2012, 01:18:35 PM
Beer makes men smarter: study
Males solve brain teasers better after consuming alcohol, researchers say
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/beer-men-smarter-study-article-1.1059752


haa.....so what is new about that !!!!

my experience is that you get even smarter if you add cognac     ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUVwR0rw5fk


LOL  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5c6bjVXLdBM



Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on April 20, 2012, 09:29:22 PM
"The constuction site"
 
An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a Sydney
 construction site.
 
The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy,
 "You're in charge of sweeping."
 
To the Irishman he says "You're in charge of shoveling."
 
To the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
 

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while to get my Vegemite sandwiches.
I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
 

So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of
 sand is untouched.
 

He says to the Italian: "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"
 

The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom, an' you tella me
 dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him."
 

Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel.
 

The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, that ye did, but I couldn't
 get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese fella in charge of supplies, but I couldn't fin' him."
 

The foreman is really angry now, and storms off looking for the Chinese guy.
 





He can't find him anywhere and is getting angrier by the minute.
 






Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells...
 


"Supplies!!"
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on April 20, 2012, 10:06:19 PM

Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells...
 


"Supplies!!"

 ;D ;D I liked it, but there is no way to translate. Have to be told in English.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on April 20, 2012, 10:13:27 PM

Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells...
 
"Supplies!!"

 ;D ;D I liked it, but there is no way to translate. Have to be told in English.

Yep, I thought the same, when I read it. ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on April 21, 2012, 08:45:48 AM

Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells...
 


"Supplies!!"

 ;D ;D I liked it, but there is no way to translate. Have to be told in English.
Easy when you add the chinese accent  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on April 21, 2012, 12:44:21 PM
only in America    ;D

The BackUp Bedside Gun Rack
http://dontgetbit.wordpress.com/2011/01/24/weapon-pron-the-backup-bedside-gun-rack/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on April 21, 2012, 12:49:49 PM
only in America    ;D

Your totally right there :o ::)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 23, 2012, 05:57:49 PM

Senior  citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable
deficiency of the  modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take
responsibility for all we have  done and do not blame others.


HOWEVER,  upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was  NOT  the
senior citizens who took

The melody out of  music,

The pride out of  appearance,

The  courtesy out of  driving,

The romance out of  love,

The  commitment out  of marriage,

The  responsibility  out of parenthood,

The  togetherness  out of the family,

The learning out of  education,

The service out of  patriotism,

The Golden  Rule from  rulers,

The  nativity scene  out of cities,

The civilityout of  behavior,

The  refinement out  of language,


The  dedication out  of employment,

The prudence out of  spending,

The ambition out of achievement  or
God out of government and school.

And  we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance
from personal relationships and  interactions with others!!

And, we do understand the meaning of  patriotism, and remember those who
have fought and died for our  country. 

Just look at  the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their
hearts as they  stand at attention with  their hand over their hearts!

YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!

I'm the  life of the party.... Even if it lasts until 8 p.m.

I'm very good at  opening childproof caps..... With a hammer.

I'm awake many hours before  my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't  hear a thing you're saying.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a  safe secure place, somewhere.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just  my left leg.

I'm beginning to realize that aging is not  for wimps.

Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I  think I am having the time of my life!

(Thanks Avast for making sure I stay young a few more years.)

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on April 23, 2012, 11:56:14 PM
Hear, hear Bob.  ;)

Remembering the good old days.

Almost there and having some symptoms already, but only some  :D. and yes " aging is not  for wimps ".

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on April 24, 2012, 12:24:23 AM
Hey Bob!

Where did you get all that stuff from? You're A Senior Citizen and I'm behind you (or in front of you?)

Greetings.
HDW38
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 24, 2012, 12:37:23 AM
Hey Bob!

Where did you get all that stuff from? You're A Senior Citizen and I'm behind you (or in front of you?)

Greetings.
HDW38

At my age, I'm very careful about who gets behind me..... ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on April 24, 2012, 10:29:15 PM
Hey Bob!

Where did you get all that stuff from? You're A Senior Citizen and I'm behind you (or in front of you?)

Greetings.
HDW38

At my age, I'm very careful about who gets behind me..... ;D

Wise spoken.  ;)
But (when I was born) I'm in front of you or what do you mean?  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 24, 2012, 11:27:52 PM
Since you know my age and I don't know yours, that's something you'll need to figure out.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on April 25, 2012, 04:26:52 AM
Since you know my age and I don't know yours, that's something you'll need to figure out.  ;D

Tomorrow you can add 3 to your age.  ;D  :-X

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 25, 2012, 06:54:39 AM
Since you know my age and I don't know yours, that's something you'll need to figure out.  ;D

Tomorrow you can add 3 to your age.  ;D :-X

Happy Birthday :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on April 25, 2012, 10:14:56 AM
Since you know my age and I don't know yours, that's something you'll need to figure out.  ;D

Tomorrow you can add 3 to your age.  ;D :-X

Happy Birthday :)

T o m o r r o w!!!  Thanks. :)

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on April 29, 2012, 01:11:49 AM
Speaking of birthdays and age, I got a rather harsh reminder today that I'm not getting any younger.  According to IMDB, and probably verifiable elsewhere, Ann-Margret turned 71 today.  Ouch!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 29, 2012, 02:46:34 AM
And what's the matter with 71 ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on April 29, 2012, 03:14:45 AM
Nothing really, other than a reminder that I'm creeping up on 70 myself and definitely mortal.  Oh to be kids again, with no sense that anything could happen to us (and eventually definitely would, someday).
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 02, 2012, 03:02:49 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120502-zul4-23kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120502-zul4-23kb)


(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120502-zybc-37kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120502-zybc-37kb)


(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120502-mhtp-37kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120502-mhtp-37kb)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 03, 2012, 12:55:31 PM
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER

 Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

 Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.


'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.'


 Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
'How long will this take?' I asked.


'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.


 I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'


 Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your ass, didn't it?'



 He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.

Although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

 
Stupid, stupid man.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 03, 2012, 02:07:58 PM
Sorry but you seem to forget there are young people that visit this forum.... :(
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 03, 2012, 03:15:10 PM
Sorry but you seem to forget there are young people that visit this forum.... :(
??? this is not the 18th century Bob and I really dont see any problems with it, ass and breasts are pretty timid imo and most children hear far worse than that from there own parents or kids at school, technically speaking an "ass" is a cross between a horse and a donkey so there's some educational information iv supplied for the kiddies too  ;D

And just to confirm on the young people,  that was emailed to me by my 11 year old niece who obtained it from the Malwarebytes forum.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 03, 2012, 06:11:52 PM

(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120503-xrdo-15kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120503-xrdo-15kb)
The Women's Tee (http://youtu.be/pUoCCcm6bCU)
There are days when even Golfing isn't any fun.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on May 09, 2012, 07:30:34 AM
Its contagious..

http://www.bitrebels.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Earth-Mars-Moon-Human-Destruction.jpg
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 11, 2012, 11:43:48 AM

SLEEPING WITH MICK
 
The guys were on a bike tour. No one wanted to room with Mick, because he snored so badly.

They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
 

The first guy slept with Mick and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
 

They said, "Man, what happened to you?
He said, "Mick snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
 

The next night it was a different guy's turn.
In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
 

They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Mick shakes the roof with his snoring.. I watched him all night."
 

The third night was Bill's turn. He was a tanned, older biker, a man's man..
The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
 


"Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it..
They said, "Man, what happened?"



He said, "Well, we got ready for bed.
I went and tucked Mick into bed, patted him on the bum, and kissed him good night on the cheek.
<
 <
 <
 <
 <
 <
 <
 <
 <
 Mick sat up and watched me all night."
 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 16, 2012, 07:11:20 AM
A Psychiatrist and a Proctologist

Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and
 decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice
 together to share the costs of office space and personnel.
 
Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist, so
 they put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors"
 The town council was livid and insisted they change it.
 
So, the docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids"
 
This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign.
 "Catatonics and High Colonics" - No go.
 
Next, they tried "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives" - thumbs
 down again.
 
Then came "Minds and Behinds" - still no good.
 
Another attempt "Lost Souls and Butt Holes" was unacceptable again!
 
So they tried "Analysis and Anal Cysts" - not a chance.
 
"Nuts and Butts" - no way.
 
"Freaks and Cheeks" - still not good.
 
"Loons and Moons" - forget it.
 
Almost at their wits' end, the docs finally came up with:
 
"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends"
 
Everyone loved it.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 25, 2012, 09:48:50 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120525-qokm-29kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120525-qokm-29kb)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnKSHcIS-jA&feature=em-uploademail (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnKSHcIS-jA&feature=em-uploademail)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 11, 2012, 02:23:56 PM
The Golden Years:



Several days  ago, as I left a meeting at a hotel, I desperately gave
myself a personal TSA  pat-down.  I was looking for my keys. They were not in my
pockets. A quick  search in the meeting room revealed nothing.


Suddenly I realized I must  have left them in the car.  Frantically, I
headed for the parking  lot.


My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the  ignition.


My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose  them.  Her theory
is that the car will be stolen.  As I burst through  the door, I came to a
terrifying conclusion:


Her theory was right. The  parking lot was empty.


I immediately called the police. I gave them my  location, confessed that I
had left my keys in the car, and that it had been  stolen.  Then I made the
most difficult call of all.


"Honey," I  stammered (I always call her "honey" in times like these) "I
left my keys in the  car, and it has been stolen."


There was a period of silence. I thought  the call  had been dropped, but
then I heard her voice.


"Idiot", she  barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was my time to be  silent.
Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."


She  retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this  policeman I have not
stolen  your car."


Yep, it's the golden  years.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on June 11, 2012, 07:39:57 PM
 ;D ;D  Almost makes up for not being young any more -- almost.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on June 12, 2012, 06:03:01 AM
;D ;D  Almost makes up for not being young any more -- almost.

True ;D.............as you can see Bob doesn't have any patch of hair on top of his old head which he is class as the golden years, smile Bob you know the whole world is smiling we you through the golden years.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: drahcir on June 16, 2012, 07:15:44 AM
Haha! Sounds nothing like the zap I got from a fly zapper.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 18, 2012, 01:12:14 PM

BEWARE OF THAT UNDERWEAR  DUST!
One evening a husband,  thinking he was being funny, said to his wife,
'Perhaps we should start washing  your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would
take a few inches off of your  butt!'
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let  such a
comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of  underwear out of his drawer..
'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a  little 'dust' cloud
appeared when he shook them out.
'Donna', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did  you put talcum powder in
my underwear?'


She replied with a snicker. 'It's  not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'![size=78%] [/size]


Guys just never learn, do not tick off the woman.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 28, 2012, 11:49:31 AM

There was a bit of confusion at the  store this morning.
 
When I was ready to pay for my  groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down,
facing me."
 
Making a mental note to complain to  my congressman about Homeland Security
running amok, I did just as she had  instructed.
 
When the hysterical shrieking  subsided, I found out that she was referring
to my credit  card.
 
I have been asked to shop elsewhere  in the future.
 
They need to make their instructions  to us seniors a little  clearer!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on June 28, 2012, 09:58:29 PM
 ;D ;D  Been there, done that (without literally stripping, that is).  I can understand her instruction, though she definitely (as she found out the hard way) should have made the context clearer in her choice of wording ... it's not always obvious what the proper orientation is for swiping a credit or debit card, since apparently there's not any standard location/position for the sensor.

Up here, many banks are taking it one step further and added a chip at one end of the card which is much harder (likely impossible) to forge compared to the magnetic strip.  Vendors are only gradually acquiring the proper sensor units for these, and the card stays in its slot for the whole transaction since that's recorded, not just the PIN verified.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 29, 2012, 03:22:36 AM

We're Rich!
WE FINALLY MADE IT
O.M.G., we're  rich!
Silver In The Hair
Gold In The Teeth
Crystals In The  Kidneys
Sugar In The Blood
Lead In The As*
Iron In The  Arteries
And
An Inexhaustible Supply Of Natural  Gas.


I Never Thought we would
accumulate  Such Wealth!
I've always said there are advantages to growing older.
Life is short.
Live it to the  fullest.
It has an expiration  date.

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 29, 2012, 06:56:46 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120629-k3ij-13kb.jpg) (http://youtu.be/OFxAvWDECYQ)
Turn your volume up !
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on July 02, 2012, 11:11:39 PM
Pun for the day:
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on July 02, 2012, 11:56:59 PM
Yes the absolute Bratt Wurst.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on July 03, 2012, 12:11:31 AM
Hi DavidR,

Only in Dutch the word Wurst is spelled correctly as worst (sausage), but that again would take the pun out of the joke.
Not to say that Dutch sausage is "worst", which is actually correct.
Nice interlingual play with words,

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on July 03, 2012, 12:16:26 AM
Yes, having spent a few tours in Germany and had the occasional bratwurst or two ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on July 03, 2012, 12:20:16 AM
Pun for the day:
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.


@Damien,
Remember, my heritage is German, not Dutch.  :)
Quite often they call those of German decent Dutchmen or Krauts.
Sauerkraut actually goes very well with Sausage or wurst.   ;D


This also goes well with this discussion:
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120703-vfni-44kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120703-vfni-44kb)


Alice ran into this while out shopping in Prescott Valley Arizona.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on July 03, 2012, 07:17:27 AM
My heritage is entirely Scottish, English and Irish. They call sausages bangers for some reason. I'm also a Gemini so I tend to get in fights with myself and not know which side I should be on.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on July 03, 2012, 10:02:45 AM
 
Quote
I'm also a Gemini so I tend to get in fights with myself and not know which side I should be on.
When you fight with yourself, you're always on the loosing side.....
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on July 03, 2012, 02:27:30 PM
Quote
I'm also a Gemini so I tend to get in fights with myself and not know which side I should be on.
When you fight with yourself, you're always on the loosing side.....

Yep! Bob is 100% correct and that's what my Grandad tells me long ago, thanks for reminding me Bob otherwise you may sound like my Grandad ;D ;) Only if I don't have to kiss you're top head, otherwise my lips could slip off ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on July 03, 2012, 09:05:02 PM
Quote
I'm also a Gemini so I tend to get in fights with myself and not know which side I should be on.
When you fight with yourself, you're always on the loosing side.....
Well one side has to win and since both sides are me,     I'm a winner  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on July 03, 2012, 09:56:19 PM
Hi Dch48,

Bangers and mash with friend onions. The word bangers comes from the days of WWII when sausages came so full of water that they went bang. To prick them with a fork would prevent that explosion. That is why they were called bangers as sausages were filled in sheepskin that would explode with a loud bang when cooked and fried long enough. What the Banger Sisters had to do with it, is still a bit unclear to me, but I add that information for folks for which the sixties never seem to end,

polonus

P.S.
@DavidR, with bratwurst also the mustard is different. English mustard is among the strongest around.

D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on July 03, 2012, 10:30:25 PM
1. Bangers and mash with friend onions. The word bangers comes from the days of WWII when sausages came so full of water that they went bang. To prick them with a fork would prevent that explosion. That is why they were called bangers as sausages were filled in sheepskin that would explode with a loud bang when cooked and fried long enough. What the Banger Sisters had to do with it, is still a bit unclear to me, but I add that information for folks for which the sixties never seem to end,

2. English mustard is among the strongest around.

1. Interesting insight in the history of Würschtel (as they're called here). ;)
2. I prefer Estragon or Dijon.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on July 03, 2012, 10:51:48 PM
Hi Asyn,

Understatement that "Würschtel", Cumberland sausage is half a meter long. Since 2011 it has aPGI status (Protected Geographical Indication),

polonus

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on July 03, 2012, 11:01:52 PM
Hi Asyn,

Understatement that "Würschtel", Cumberland sausage is half a meter long. Since 2011 it has aPGI status (Protected Geographical Indication),

polonus

;D 8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on July 08, 2012, 01:31:41 AM

(https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRWdUENeyaBmQtmrK-1JLgRkB4c2qSXyMOkdBoh3JWvyPbAAtWW229DDEej)


My Blackberry’s broken (http://youtu.be/RVQNGXFVwPc)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on July 08, 2012, 01:43:36 AM
Posted before somwhere in here but... ;D

Helpdesk support back in the day of the middle age
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQHX-SjgQvQ
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on July 21, 2012, 03:18:56 PM

A  little boy came down to breakfast..   
Since  they live on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his  chores.   
"Not  yet," said the little boy.   
His  mother told him no breakfast until he did his  chores.   
Well,  he was a little teed off, so he went to feed the chickens, and he 
kicked a chicken.  He went to feed the cows, and he  kicked a cow.  He went
to feed the pigs, and he  kicked a pig.   
He  went back in for breakfast, and his mother gave him a bowl of dry 
cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon?  And  why don't I have any milk
in my cereal?" he  asked.
"Well," his mother said, "I saw you kick a chicken,  so you don't get any
eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so  you don't get any bacon for a
week, either. I also saw you  kick the cow, so for a week you are not getting
any  milk."
Just then, his father came down for breakfast and  kicked the cat halfway
across the kitchen.
The little  boy looked up at his mother with a smile, and 
said............."Are you going to tell him, or should  I?"
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on July 22, 2012, 12:59:14 AM
Hi folks,

Proper English, so funny I had to post: http://www.lotsofhumor.com/uploads/9/8/4/5/9845860/714579_orig.jpg

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on July 24, 2012, 12:51:27 AM
ROFL   ;D


Seagull Prank    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suYz5SHFHyA
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Omid Farhang on July 24, 2012, 11:07:15 AM
ROFL   ;D


Seagull Prank    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suYz5SHFHyA
Damn!!!!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on July 28, 2012, 11:08:12 AM
 ;D  LOL

Car Wash Prank
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-sADxMaWds
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Left123 on July 28, 2012, 11:19:49 AM
(http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/5923/4870006700b.jpg)
Working in IT support   :D :)


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SafeSurf on July 28, 2012, 11:42:25 AM
ROFL   ;D


Seagull Prank    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suYz5SHFHyA

That was good.  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on July 31, 2012, 03:06:27 AM

Did  you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on  the ice in
Antarctica - where do they go?
 
Wonder  no more ! ! !
 
It  is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird  which
lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The  penguin is very committed to its family and will mate  for life, as
well as maintaining a form of compassionate  contact with its offspring
throughout its life. [size=78%] [/size]
If a  penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of  the
family and social circle have been known to dig holes in  the ice, using their
vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep  enough for the dead bird to
be rolled into and buried. [size=78%] [/size]
The  male penguins then gather in a circle around  the fresh grave and
sing:
 
"Freeze  a jolly good fellow"
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Then  they kick him in the ice hole."
 
You  really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you? 
It's  so easy to fool some people. [size=78%] [/size]
 
I  fell for it too.   ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 06, 2012, 03:25:31 PM

The Cow, the Ant and the Old Fart


A cow, and ant and an old fart  are debating on who is
the greatest of the three of  them.
 
The cow said, I give 20 quarts of milk every day  and that's why I am the
greatest!" 


The ant said, "I work day and night, summer and  winter, I can carry 52
times my own weight and that's why I am the  greatest!"
 




 
 








 
 
 
 
               
Why  are you scrolling down?  It's your turn to say  something.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on August 06, 2012, 04:43:00 PM
Why  are you scrolling down?  It's your turn to say  something.

Well, it (luckily) will take some more years, before I can answer here. ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 06, 2012, 04:44:56 PM
Why  are you scrolling down?  It's your turn to say  something.

Well, it (luckily) will take some more years, before I can answer here. ;D
I refuse to answer on the grounds that I may incriminate myself.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 06, 2012, 06:07:37 PM
Usually when you unsubscribe from one of your subscriptions, it's pretty routine and boring.
Today I unsubscribed from Groupon (http://www.groupon.com/) and thought they have a pretty good sense of humor
as you can see in this following video that I captured:
https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B-vSic0iJgyeTXJLX3VTcG9OTkE (https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B-vSic0iJgyeTXJLX3VTcG9OTkE)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on August 07, 2012, 07:46:18 AM
Why  are you scrolling down?  It's your turn to say  something.

Well, it (luckily) will take some more years, before I can answer here. ;D
I refuse to answer on the grounds that I may incriminate myself.  ;D

Don't be shy Bob we do understand  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 09, 2012, 04:52:23 PM
                                                     (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120809-ehuf-16kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120809-ehuf-16kb)
I got a brand new pair of roller skates, you got a brand new key! (http://youtu.be/341rybZ42vA)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 13, 2012, 08:26:39 PM
New Age Tech Support
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120813-revi-29kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120813-revi-29kb)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on August 13, 2012, 08:29:03 PM
New Age Tech Support

ROFL ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on August 13, 2012, 09:41:01 PM
New Age Tech Support

ROFL ;D

No comment.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on August 14, 2012, 01:41:56 AM
Bob is that you're grandson teaching him about computers ;) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 14, 2012, 02:15:50 AM
New Age Tech Support
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120813-revi-29kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120813-revi-29kb)
Bob is that you're grandson teaching him about computers ;) ;D
It could be my Great Grandson. he's just a little older than this cutie.  :) [size=78%] [/size]
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 14, 2012, 03:18:10 AM
The expression on his face is priceless, with the weight of the world on his shoulders, it really does match the speech bubble text ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bambibear on August 14, 2012, 04:04:46 AM
omg, i'm still laughing.  man, my sides hurt.  thank you for  such a wonderful story.   
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on August 14, 2012, 10:52:56 AM
Bob's great grandson is probably the E-trade baby.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 14, 2012, 02:57:07 PM
Bob's great grandson is probably the E-trade baby.
Actually I like meritline.com they have better deals. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 19, 2012, 01:29:44 PM
what do we do now   ::)

sorry, page is in Norwegian but the pictures speak for itself. scroll down for all 9 pictures button

http://www.dinside.no/900604/ok-hva-gjor-vi-naa#/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 19, 2012, 01:48:14 PM
@ Pondus,
Don't know if you consider these funny, to me they are actually sad.
I feel sorry for the predicament some of these animals are in.  :(
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on August 19, 2012, 07:59:30 PM
@ Pondus,
Don't know if you consider these funny, to me they are actually sad.
I feel sorry for the predicament some of these animals are in.  :(

I agree with you, Bob. Those pictures make me sick.
BTW: It is said, that most of the norwegian men are unhuman (killing wales...).

HDW38
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 19, 2012, 08:56:26 PM
Quote
It is said, that most of the norwegian men are unhuman (killing wales...)
so ...... you think all Norwegian men is whale hunting   ::)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on August 19, 2012, 10:56:48 PM
Hi Pondus,

That is because the others never tasted Hvalbiff, very healthy food with Omega 3 fatty acids. The mink whale the Norwegians and people from Iceland are after isn't a threatened species like Bluefin Tuna (fishing that species is barbaric). Then whale is very, very healthy for people recovering from a serious intestinal disease.
In Norway another aspect was that the whale was seen as a fish in medievel times, and so people were allowed to eat whalebeef on a Friday (pity they did not have BBQs then),

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 19, 2012, 11:12:47 PM
i have 6Kg in the freezer Polonus so if you come over i make you a whale beef.

OBS:i did not hunt it myself as i don't have a whale boat
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 19, 2012, 11:47:18 PM
When I was in Norway on Arctic training (two three month trips, Jan, Feb & Mar) we would occasionally get whale meat. Can't say I liked the taste that much, that said I didn't like Horse meet when we were in France (French Military Base) either.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 19, 2012, 11:55:49 PM
Quote
Can't say I liked the taste that much,
must have been a bad chef then...   ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on August 20, 2012, 12:23:03 AM
Hi DavidR & Pondus,

Well some do not eat horse because their religion does not allow,
as for instance the Old Russian Orthodox  старообрядцы do not eat horsemeat. hare etc.
But I have heard that in England they eat grey squirrel. Is that tasty?
Some say it gives a distinctly sweet flavour to your stew...
In medieval Frisia they have put swans to the table. But then the swan must not be older that a couple of months,
other big birds were just for decorational purposes...

polonus
 

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on August 20, 2012, 12:52:33 AM
Lots of Americans eat grey squirrels too. I never have but I have heard that they have a very sweet taste.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 20, 2012, 01:21:07 AM
Quote
Can't say I liked the taste that much,
must have been a bad chef then...   ;)

Army chefs are the best in the world, well they go on the toughest course, as it seems no one has ever passed it ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on August 20, 2012, 09:38:50 PM
Hi friends,

Here is a link that is a mix of being on topic and off-topic. At least it has something to do with this forum, virus hoaxes and realities...
and where the hoaxes are concerned, there are many that deserve a good laugh.
What about the Budweiser Frog Screensaver hoax: http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/budfrogs.asp
Oh and mind not to get onto this list (hoax): http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/hackers.asp
There are many more there and also serious threats described,

Enjoy,

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on August 20, 2012, 10:15:26 PM
Back to exotic foods ...
Way the heck back when I was still working, our general manager would treat us to dinner, or an approximation of same, around Christmas.  There were only about 6 of us, so it wasn't a major burden for him.  Our favorite was the all-you-can-eat buffet at Bingemann's (local family-run trailer park plus recreation areas plus a couple of good restaurants) until that was, alas, discontinued sometime in the late 80's or early 90's.

We tried other places for a couple of years after that, but couldn't find a good substitute, so he switched to bringing in things from home.  One year it was assorted sliced cold cuts, cheeses and salads, and there was one kind of sausage I found so tasty that I gobbled nearly all of it down myself.  When I asked him afterwards what it was, he said it was moose.

And once, combining curiosity with a sort of self-dare, I picked up a small tin of octopus to give it a try.  Unfortunately, it was packed in a very heavy and oily tomato sauce, so to this day I haven't a clue what the octopus itself tasted like, only that it was somewhat rubbery in texture.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 20, 2012, 10:25:52 PM
I never found Squid (first tried in a Bar in Thessalonica) or Octopus had much of a taste of anything, just a bland and rubbery texture, all of the taste seems to come from the sauce/flavouring added to the flesh.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on August 20, 2012, 10:51:31 PM
Hi DavidR,

It is with all these exotic foods, octopus and snakes alike, that the taste is in the sauce.
If you like garlic sauce (try the young green variety), you can leave the snakes and other rubbery tasting creatures out for me.
Grenouille tastes somewhat like... like drumsticks, so order drumsticks with your favourite green garlic sauce.
But it always comes down to what your mother used to put on the table. The rest of the family never had what she did not like,
because these meals were never served. For instance when I think of Scotland I have to think of a lot of things,
but also of tartar sauce, because I like that an awful lot. And vinegar on my "chish and fibs".

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 21, 2012, 12:15:28 AM
Think of Scotland thing in deep fried Mars bar in batter ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on August 21, 2012, 12:57:30 AM
I hate tartar sauce and actually prefer catsup on fried and breaded fish. For exotic foods, I was stationed near Yuma, AZ back in 1969-70 and was invited to a buffet dinner one night. On the table was a plate of this flaky white meat that looked kind of like tuna but much whiter. I tried it and liked it a lot until I asked what it was and was told it was rattlesnake. I couldn't eat any more of it after that revelation. They also had octopus and it was like trying to eat a piece of an old inner tube. I have tried gator tail in Florida and it's quite good. Buffalo is also good but beefalo is some of the best meat I have ever had.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on August 21, 2012, 01:03:55 AM
Hi Dch48,

Did not beefalo start in Utah? Near where I live in Holland they rear galloways. Seems to give wild  first quality meat also,
Galloway-rib for a Sunday roast...

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on August 21, 2012, 09:32:57 PM
Hi polonus!

Nice that Galloway!  :)    One rib for each person?  ;)

HDW38
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: !Donovan on August 22, 2012, 12:43:30 AM
(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/s720x720/427193_372942746108717_1970328366_n.jpg)

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on August 22, 2012, 01:09:11 AM
Hi !Donovan,

Was this image only meant for her friends also on IE, because I see an empty picture frame here....
Where did you get it from, see: http://www.tineye.com/search/bf7fe218025432098bbd9b49a5cc9d19e5c385db/?pluginver=chrome-1.1
Yes, TinEye and polonus know...

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: !Donovan on August 22, 2012, 01:14:54 AM
Not entirely true Polonus,

I got it from a friend that got it from a friend that put it on facebook. ;)

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on August 22, 2012, 01:24:13 AM
Hi !Donovan,

Still so funny that image does not turn up in my Google chrome browser.
When I open the image link in another tab then I first see it, and what it is all about..
How come?

pol
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: !Donovan on August 22, 2012, 01:32:16 AM
Dunno.. ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on August 22, 2012, 01:51:35 AM
Ok people. Talking about whale, horse, squid.... to eat.

You have to try these:

1. Chiguire also known as capibara. Biggest rodent in the world. Catholic church clasified it as fish so that people could eat it Good Friday in South America where fish was not readily available during the 16 and 17 century. It is delicious and you need a permit to hunt or to sell the meat.

2. Morrocoy or ground tortoise. Generally serve as soup on the shell and I my mouth is turning water so.. 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on August 22, 2012, 05:20:28 AM
(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/s720x720/427193_372942746108717_1970328366_n.jpg)
Not funny, there is nothing wrong with IE9 at all.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 22, 2012, 02:44:22 PM
What you can't see the people behind you pointing at you ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on August 22, 2012, 07:03:56 PM
Hi forum friends,

In the light of the recent spam runs here, I stumbled upon this image, see attached.
Don't you think it is funny?

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: !Donovan on August 22, 2012, 11:10:47 PM
(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/s720x720/427193_372942746108717_1970328366_n.jpg)
Not funny, there is nothing wrong with IE9 at all.

IMO, IE fell behind a long time ago. Its support for javascript is off, its support for html5 is off, and its support for css3 is off. It is also one of the most easiest to exploit, there is no customization, etc.. Try the CSS3Test here --> http://css3test.com/ and tell me if you get a high grade.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: essexboy on August 22, 2012, 11:13:40 PM
I beg to differ .. Firefox and Chrome are getting exploited a lot more in my experience..  Mozilla safe browsing has been hacked and that is an actual part of FF

I have a thread in the virus forum where that has happened
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: !Donovan on August 22, 2012, 11:23:08 PM
Hi Essexboy,

Infection can be prevented with add-ons like NoScript. However, due to the nature of custom apps in these browsers, I do agree that there is a more open-source and changeable configuration and settings. Since Firefox and Chrome however do allow users to get extentions and add-ons, in which include script protection, the gap in security can be closed quickly.

To add onto my statement, IE9 users would not be able to render this full-fledged CSS3 Animated Page Properly:
http://neography.com/experiment/circles/solarsystem/

Which adds onto my theory that IE9 does not support various CSS3 rules.

Furthermore, IE comes pre-installed with all Windows machines. Thus, all users are forced to use Internet Explorer as their first Windows browser. Not fair in the market of browsers, I must say.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 22, 2012, 11:30:03 PM
Hi Essexboy,

Infection can be prevented with add-ons like NoScript. However, due to the nature of custom apps in these browsers, I do agree that there is a more open-source and changeable configuration and settings. Since Firefox and Chrome however do allow users to get extentions and add-ons, in which include script protection, the gap in security can be closed quickly.

To add onto my statement, IE9 users would not be able to render this full-fledged CSS3 Animated Page Properly:
http://neography.com/experiment/circles/solarsystem/ (http://neography.com/experiment/circles/solarsystem/)

Which adds onto my theory that IE9 does not support various CSS3 rules.

Furthermore, IE comes pre-installed with all Windows machines. Thus, all users are forced to use Internet Explorer as their first Windows browser. Not fair in the market of browsers, I must say.
It renders perfectly in IE10. The alternative to being forced to use IE till you get something else is to not have it installed and not being able to get on line at all.
Not a good alternative. (Since we're talking about a MS product, substituting something else in the original package for IE is ridiculous.) IMHO
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on August 22, 2012, 11:31:51 PM

Furthermore, IE comes pre-installed with all Windows machines. Thus, all users are forced to use Internet Explorer as their first Windows browser. Not fair in the market of browsers, I must say.

Hi !Donovan!

This is wether fair, nor funny!

HDW38
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Left123 on August 23, 2012, 12:49:58 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njos57IJf-0&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njos57IJf-0&feature=related)
He tripled the profits on a PC  ;D :D :) ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on August 23, 2012, 05:37:01 AM
(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/s720x720/427193_372942746108717_1970328366_n.jpg)
Not funny, there is nothing wrong with IE9 at all.

IMO, IE fell behind a long time ago. Its support for javascript is off, its support for html5 is off, and its support for css3 is off. It is also one of the most easiest to exploit, there is no customization, etc.. Try the CSS3Test here --> http://css3test.com/ and tell me if you get a high grade.
I couldn't care less about those tests since what they are testing for is very rarely, if ever actually used. There also is a high degree of customization within IE and there always has been. IE has "fallen behind" for pie in the sky things on developers' wish lists, people who never know when to leave well enough alone, but not for anything that really matters.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: FreewheelinFrank on August 23, 2012, 10:36:12 PM
Mozilla safe browsing has been hacked and that is an actual part of FF

I have a thread in the virus forum where that has happened

The various posts I've seen on Google all suggest to me that "Mozilla Safe Browsing" is a malicious extension installed by malware, either downloaded by the user as a Trojan or a drive-by installation via a vulnerability in out-of-date applications on the computer.

It doesn't seem to be a part of Firefox at all.

There's a big difference between getting exploited and getting infected.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on August 23, 2012, 10:52:09 PM
Hi folks,

Please stop this discussion. With browsers it is as with taste, opinions always differ. Use what you comfortable with and use it securely,,,,

polonus

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on August 23, 2012, 11:20:26 PM
Hi folks,

Please stop this discussion. With browsers it is as with taste, opinions always differ. Use what you comfortable with and use it securely,,,,

polonus



True beside it is not funny. What about my chiguiere and morrocoy ? Someone dare to try ?  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on August 23, 2012, 11:25:49 PM
Hi iroc9555,

The only thing we have in some farm nearby is alpacca, just 15 km from where I live in the Netherlands.
They say that young alpacca tastes better even than lamb does. Then I prefer alpacca.

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on August 24, 2012, 12:09:23 AM
Alpaca to eat.  :o No way Jose. ;D I never heard of it but then again I am not from Ecuador , Bolivia, or Peru. I know they are used for their wool but that's it.

I suppose we men have eaten anything that crawl, walk, swim or fly on this earth of ours.... ours.. Are we sure ? Hmm...
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 24, 2012, 12:23:20 AM
http://youtu.be/9ellJU84egk (http://youtu.be/9ellJU84egk)


If that one didn't get you, try the following:


http://youtu.be/T-55i8n-ZVQ (http://youtu.be/T-55i8n-ZVQ)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on August 24, 2012, 12:35:31 AM
http://youtu.be/9ellJU84egk (http://youtu.be/9ellJU84egk)


If that one didn't get you, try the following:


http://youtu.be/T-55i8n-ZVQ (http://youtu.be/T-55i8n-ZVQ)

 ;D the cat got it all wrong. The mouse is beside the screen not in the printer. LOL
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on August 24, 2012, 03:26:11 AM
There are also farms that raise Ostrich for food. I've never tried it but man, imagine those drumsticks!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 24, 2012, 03:30:23 AM
There are also farms that raise Ostrich for food. I've never tried it but man, imagine those drumsticks!
And what's so funny about that ???


"Off topic but was so funny i had to post"
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 24, 2012, 02:19:49 PM

Here are a few Puns of the day for you:
I have a photographic memory -- I just haven't developed it yet.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
All the toilets in the police station have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
When two doctors form a partnership to open a clinic it's called a paradox.
If a dog gave birth to puppies near the road, would she get a ticket for littering?
Tennis players don't marry because Love means Nothing to them.
Chad didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
Mummies are bound to be uptight.
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
A new type of broom came out. It's sweeping the nation.
Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
They told me I had type A blood , but it was really a Type-O.
I used to think I was indecisive; now I'm not so sure.
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 28, 2012, 05:17:52 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120828-gfhf-30kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120828-gfhf-30kb)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on August 28, 2012, 07:24:42 PM
LOL  Now thats funny Bob ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on August 28, 2012, 08:12:59 PM
Hi Bob!

Is that your dog? Possibility to rent?
 ;D ;D ;D
HDW
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 28, 2012, 09:19:37 PM
Hi Bob!

Is that your dog? Possibility to rent?
 ;D ;D ;D
HDW
Not my dog but I'm the agent. How much are you willing to pay.....  :D :D :D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 28, 2012, 09:23:02 PM
There's a cheque in the post, add to D.O.G.s white list.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on August 28, 2012, 09:26:44 PM

How much is it?

HDW38
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on September 02, 2012, 08:21:31 PM
not sure where i should post this ....

well well here it is .....mother of all boards   ;D
http://hacknmod.com/hack/diy-circuit-board-table-decor!/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 03, 2012, 07:13:32 AM
not sure where i should post this ....

well well here it is .....mother of all boards   ;D
http://hacknmod.com/hack/diy-circuit-board-table-decor!/

I wish I had that in my living room, otherwise when my mother comes over for a visit she'll keeps on complaining the coffee table and the dinning table too :o ::)

Suddenly I told my mother she wasn't a 'Computer Nerd' because she doesn't understand 'Hardware Fashion' ;D ;) ::)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: !Donovan on September 03, 2012, 07:45:26 PM
http://dowebsitesneedtolookexactlythesameineverybrowser.com/

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 05, 2012, 02:57:19 PM

How Women Burn Calories in France! (http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=yEH4Yum4nN4)

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 06, 2012, 11:36:41 AM

How Women Burn Calories in France! (http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=yEH4Yum4nN4)

My girlfriend will love this Bob ;) and this will help her burn some calories IF I set this up in my own garage, and this will help me save more money on my electricity bill  ;D ;D (bloody carbon tax)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on September 06, 2012, 12:06:24 PM
Quote
My girlfriend will love this Bob  and this will help her burn some calories IF I set this up in my own garage,
so sylvester don't chase her   ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 10, 2012, 03:36:32 PM
Dog with Chinese Name

Whether you own a dog or not, you must appreciate the efforts of this owner to sell her dog.

(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120910-mrgh-62kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120910-mrgh-62kb)

Dog For Sale ------Free to good home. Excellent guard dog.

Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers,

thieves, murderers, rapists or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.

Most of them knew Jethro only by his Chinese Street name, Ho Lee Schitt.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 10, 2012, 03:51:49 PM
Dog with Chinese Name

Whether you own a dog or not, you must appreciate the efforts of this owner to sell her dog.

(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20120910-mrgh-62kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20120910-mrgh-62kb)

Dog For Sale ------Free to good home. Excellent guard dog.

Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers,

thieves, murderers, rapists or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.

Most of them knew Jethro only by his Chinese Street name, Ho Lee Schitt.

That is the biggest Bull Mastiff iv ever seen in my life :o I used to help out with training down at the canine association so iv seen all kinds of dogs but nothing like that, it's sad though that due to his size he'll be lucky to make 6 years :(
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 10, 2012, 04:07:05 PM
If this dog was a puppy before this huge size :o would've look after by a Police K9 department, during that time when this dog grew HUGE the entire Police K9 department will be shocked :o when they see a BIG Monster. I'm 100% sure the Police K9 department would love to have all K9 dogs to be at this size, and would scare the living crap out of the entire neighborhood :o :o :o :o

Holy SH#T! :o :o :o :o :o that dog is a huge MONSTER!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 12, 2012, 03:15:39 AM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/bob3160/male001.jpg)

 
Daddy, how was I born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'
The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo .
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe .
We sneaked into a secluded room and Googled each other . 
There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive . 
As soon as I was ready to upload,
we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall,
and since it was too late to hit the delete button,
nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:


(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/bob3160/male002.gif)
"You Got Male"
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on September 12, 2012, 09:39:39 PM
Lovely quote from today's Sophos News.  I shoulda copied it, but the gist of it was easy enough to remember so this is from memory and probably not exactly verbatim.  And my apologies for forgetting to make a note of the author's name.

Development of security software is a race between programmers seeking to create idiot-proof applications, and the Universe which is constantly creating more idiots.  And so far, the Universe seems to be winning.  ;) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 15, 2012, 07:52:48 AM
Maths & Chocolate Cake
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on September 15, 2012, 01:05:34 PM
Sounds like a Billy Bunter type pupil; the teacher needs to really rephrase the question, "You have 10 Chocolate Cakes and you eat 2, how many do you have left ?"
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 18, 2012, 08:36:38 AM
Not the cookies!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on October 16, 2012, 03:34:31 PM
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask."
 
The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors."
 
God says, "Say no more." And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.
 
A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat. The mice said, "All our lives we've had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore."
 
God says, "Say no more." And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
 
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, "How are you doing? Are you happy here?" The cat yawns and stretches and says, "Oh, I've never been happier in my life
 
And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on October 16, 2012, 10:12:19 PM
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask."
 
The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors."
 
God says, "Say no more." And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.
 
A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat. The mice said, "All our lives we've had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore."
 
God says, "Say no more." And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
 
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, "How are you doing? Are you happy here?" The cat yawns and stretches and says, "Oh, I've never been happier in my life
 
And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best ;D ;D

LOL  ;D

HDW38
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on October 16, 2012, 10:34:31 PM
This has got to be the ultimate groaner in shaggy-dog stories, at least that I can remember seeing.  Don't know its original source, but I got it a day or two ago from a fellow member of one of my psoriasis support groups.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a
Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian,
several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an
Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian,
a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a
Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a
Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani,
a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a
Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a
Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a
Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an
Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a
Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a
Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an
Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a
Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a
Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk
Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook
Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian,
an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a
Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a
Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a
Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani,
a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a
Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa
Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a
Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans,
...walk into a very fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group...
"You can't come in here without a Thai."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 16, 2012, 11:34:09 PM
Quote
"You can't come in here without a Thai."
Not to worry, we where only Peruvian this place.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on October 21, 2012, 06:58:06 PM
holy cow.....i mean oh deer   ;D       wonder if she is blond    ::)

Donna, Radio Caller, Wants Deer Crossing Signs Moved So Deer Won't Cross Highways (AUDIO)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/19/donna-radio-caller-deer-crossing-sign-complaint_n_1987405.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on October 21, 2012, 07:12:13 PM
holy cow.....i mean oh deer   ;D       wonder if she is blond    ::)

Donna, Radio Caller, Wants Deer Crossing Signs Moved So Deer Won't Cross Highways (AUDIO)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/19/donna-radio-caller-deer-crossing-sign-complaint_n_1987405.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular
I read/watched this one the other day and couldn't believe what i was hearing, she's certainly a few sandwiches short of a picnic ;D or should i say she's got a few Deer loose in the top paddock ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on October 21, 2012, 07:27:55 PM
Strange questions asked by tourists in Norway    ;)

sorry the website is in norwegian, so view with chrome and use the translate...or translate in google

http://www.nettavisen.no/nyheter/article3428995.ece
http://www.tv2.no/nyheter/snop/du-vil-ikke-tro-hva-turister-kan-finne-paa-aa-spoerre-om-3120878.html
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on October 23, 2012, 07:46:28 AM
So Real it's Scary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NeXMxuNNlE8

I love this scary trick ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on October 23, 2012, 08:03:42 AM
So Real it's Scary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NeXMxuNNlE8

I love this scary trick ;D
That cool, i love it ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on October 23, 2012, 12:47:11 PM
So Real it's Scary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NeXMxuNNlE8

I love this scary trick ;D

Looked like one of the women was going to have a heart attack.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 25, 2012, 09:12:15 PM
(http://puu.sh/1iDY8) (http://youtu.be/G-l_14-QlNc)


http://youtu.be/G-l_14-QlNc (http://youtu.be/G-l_14-QlNc)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on October 26, 2012, 01:46:59 AM
Oh.. Please no, no, NO... Patience
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on October 26, 2012, 02:01:18 AM
explaining the offside rule to a woman
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/81980930/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on October 26, 2012, 09:10:02 AM
explaining the offside rule to a woman

;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on October 26, 2012, 09:23:50 AM
explaining the offside rule to a woman

;D
I thought that one was good as well :) I'll show that one to my mother, she likes these and always see's the funny side, whenever she used to ask my brother or myself the time we always responded with " clocks on the oven" ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 26, 2012, 09:07:29 PM

40 years  of marriage...


A married couple in their  early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding 
anniversary in a quiet, romantic little  restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful  fairy appeared on their table. She said,
'For  being such an exemplary married couple and for  being loving to each
other for all this time, I  will grant you each a wish.'
The wife  answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world  with my darling
husband
The fairy waved her  magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the  Queen
Mary II appeared in her hands.
The  husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all  very romantic, but
an opportunity like this will  never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my
wish  is to have a wife 30 years younger than me. 
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply  disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the  fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the  husband became 92 years
old.
The moral of  this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards  should remember
fairies are female..... 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 27, 2012, 05:08:08 AM

My ex-wife, the Pilot


 


 


 My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started
and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.


Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting
when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Tennessee because of bad weather.


Thank God our kids were with me this weekend! 


The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error.   
Judy was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions
while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating.


The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board.


No one on the ground was injured.


The photograph below was taken at the scene and shows the extent of damage to her aircraft.


She was very lucky. 




 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


 




(http://puu.sh/1j9kA)


HAPPY HALLOWEEN
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 28, 2012, 01:18:15 PM

A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.


The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed.
She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.


The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue,
and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says,
'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'


The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed
in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...


She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job
and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'


To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.


'There's no charge,' she says.


'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.


'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about
your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit.
I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead,
and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'


'So I just switched the heads.'
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on October 30, 2012, 07:10:59 AM
Hilarious ! Exploding Golf ball Prank gone BAD...Really BAD !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEkk5QR9_ek&feature=related


Shotgun Golf Prank
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtH18VOZmDM&feature=related
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 12, 2012, 11:46:37 PM
Worst damage I've seen from super storm Sandy:


(http://puu.sh/1pyo8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Mayflower on November 13, 2012, 10:33:23 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on November 13, 2012, 04:34:18 PM
He he.   ::)  You do know that is a toupee he is wearing on top of his head.  Wonder how much that cost?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 13, 2012, 05:05:38 PM
He he.   ::)  You do know that is a toupee he is wearing on top of his head.  Wonder how much that cost?
Probably more than we can afford.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on November 13, 2012, 09:47:16 PM
He he.   ::)  You do know that is a toupee he is wearing on top of his head.  Wonder how much that cost?
Probably more than we can afford.  ;D
Great answer, Bob.  ;D

HDW
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on November 13, 2012, 10:07:14 PM
He he.   ::)  You do know that is a toupee he is wearing on top of his head.  Wonder how much that cost?
Actually, Trump does not wear a toupee. He has an elaborate combing procedure and his hair is very long.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on November 13, 2012, 10:26:17 PM
You think?  Wonder how long that takes or if he has someone else do it?

Then why does it appear he is not using hair spray?  (That would be expensive, too) 

To see if he is wearing a toupee or not, just visualize in your mind's eye if he would look better or more natural without the toupee than with it.  If you can see him without a toupee, then he is most likely bald to some extent, and that visualization would seem appropriate after you take the time to look for it. 

This visualization will fail if the natural hair is present, btw.  Works every time.   ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on November 13, 2012, 10:42:48 PM
I know for a fact he does not wear a toupee. There are videos available showing how his hair is done and it is done by himself. It's called a double combover. Or maybe it's triple.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dumper on November 14, 2012, 01:56:33 AM
I've got a carpet he can stick on his head, it's probably much cheaper than what he pays for that mess. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on November 14, 2012, 10:41:19 AM
Woman who drove past school bus must wear ‘idiot’ sign, judge rules

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/woman-drove-past-school-bus-must-wear-idiot-173523817.html

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on November 14, 2012, 05:31:30 PM
How Donald does it.  ;D



http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-08UP2OztajY/TnFbMpLyfDI/AAAAAAAAGr4/WXSqihBJVyU/s1600/trump%2Bcomb%2Bover.jpg


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on November 15, 2012, 02:36:16 PM
Funny and Random Fail Compilation, Fall 2012 HD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8i3pYpMqomQ

I can't stop laughing ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on November 15, 2012, 03:00:35 PM
i liked the one that put his head up in the fan......what the heck was he trying to do.  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on November 15, 2012, 03:15:06 PM
i liked the one that put his head up in the fan......what the heck was he trying to do.  ;D ;D ;D

Maybe he trying to shave his eyes brown ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on November 19, 2012, 06:43:17 AM
It not funny but it worth watching it 8)

Just opened You Tube and found this 15 minute compilation of Russian driving: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPkE2hHneP4&feature=g-logo-xit .

The thing I learned from this? There seem to be more than a view Russians with cameras in their cars and a significant number of cars are black.... :o :o
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 24, 2012, 05:06:10 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20121124-g834-93kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on November 24, 2012, 05:22:10 PM
Good heaven Bob you really crack me up ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 25, 2012, 06:24:39 PM
(http://www.jetScreenshot.com/demo/20121125-450-112kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dumper on November 26, 2012, 02:23:43 AM
Haha, nice one Bob.  :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on November 26, 2012, 06:43:22 PM
(http://www.jetScreenshot.com/demo/20121125-450-112kb.jpg)
That one is good. I play World of Warcraft and I was trying to save up enough in game gold to buy my first flying mount and the skill to use it.  To keep from spending gold, I created another character called ExWife and just sent all my money to her on a regular basis.  :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on November 27, 2012, 02:06:21 PM
Extremely Scary Ghost Elevator Prank in Brazil

Check out the terrified faces of those who were unlucky enough to catch a ride with the elevator ghost.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N5OhNplEd4&feature=g-logo-xit
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on November 28, 2012, 08:08:05 AM
Above vid is now at 159,095 views; going viral.  Is funny in an odd way, too.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 28, 2012, 02:53:28 PM

This one has 222,261 views.  ;D
http://youtu.be/_HfWr7JIeNA (http://youtu.be/_HfWr7JIeNA)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 28, 2012, 05:47:27 PM
(http://aka.media.jibjab.com/assets/23/83/59/31/6685y64wJEQAS3DYYwW8yeSQ.jpg) (http://youtu.be/Ek7mYwcDqC0)
http://youtu.be/Ek7mYwcDqC0 (http://youtu.be/Ek7mYwcDqC0)


(I did a little bit of editing and put it up on YouTube)

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on November 28, 2012, 06:31:14 PM
(http://aka.media.jibjab.com/assets/23/83/59/31/6685y64wJEQAS3DYYwW8yeSQ.jpg) (http://www.jibjab.com/view/WK_xJVE-SqmShO1036Tfvg)
http://www.jibjab.com/view/WK_xJVE-SqmShO1036Tfvg (http://www.jibjab.com/view/WK_xJVE-SqmShO1036Tfvg)
That's awesome Bob, totally love it ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 29, 2012, 12:26:04 AM
(http://www.jetScreenshot.com/demo/20121128-53h-44kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on November 29, 2012, 01:01:04 AM
Ouch!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 29, 2012, 10:34:17 AM
One of my videos has gone a little nuts.
Now has 112686 views ??? That's up over 30000 views over night.

http://youtu.be/aFpnYW_cQuE (http://youtu.be/aFpnYW_cQuE)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on November 29, 2012, 12:40:44 PM
Still going nuts, 142,369, I have given it a little nudge (two views), I liked it first time round so I played it again and I suspect that others do the same.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Charyb on December 06, 2012, 11:55:02 PM
I think this is the same elevator as the video of the little girl. They are going to give someone a heart attack doing things like this.

Extremely scary corpse elevator prank.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=MxbZgB5UNO8
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on December 24, 2012, 12:35:56 PM
Freddie Frinton Dinner for One      ;D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFyEcs1eLpc
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 25, 2013, 05:36:25 PM
We all know that testing and driving aren't safe.
Apparently you also shouldn't text while walking.
http://youtu.be/UAFBMRgJkl4 (http://youtu.be/UAFBMRgJkl4)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on January 27, 2013, 02:11:23 PM
RFC for the 7XX Range of HTTP Status codes - Developer Errors
https://github.com/joho/7XX-rfc  ;D 8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Charyb on January 30, 2013, 04:10:33 PM
This is funny. Martial arts baby.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oHWvFrpocY
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on January 30, 2013, 05:17:41 PM
This is funny. Martial arts baby.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oHWvFrpocY

Yes very funny.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 02, 2013, 03:52:37 PM
“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for –
in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.”
-     Ellen Goodman
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 03, 2013, 06:29:02 PM
Ways of using you old computer equipment.

The page is in norwegian but i guess the pictures speak for itselfe.   ;D
http://www.dinside.no/910736/ikke-kast-det-gamle-datautstyret


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 03, 2013, 06:35:11 PM
Ways of using you old computer equipment.

The page is in norwegian but i guess the pictures speak for itselfe.   ;D
http://www.dinside.no/910736/ikke-kast-det-gamle-datautstyret (http://www.dinside.no/910736/ikke-kast-det-gamle-datautstyret)
If you use Google Translate, it can be in any language you like. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 03, 2013, 06:48:24 PM
Ways of using you old computer equipment.

The page is in norwegian but i guess the pictures speak for itselfe.   ;D
http://www.dinside.no/910736/ikke-kast-det-gamle-datautstyret (http://www.dinside.no/910736/ikke-kast-det-gamle-datautstyret)
If you use Google Translate, it can be in any language you like. :)
Or bing toolbar in IE....

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on February 04, 2013, 08:17:29 AM
Ways of using you old computer equipment.

The page is in norwegian but i guess the pictures speak for itselfe.   ;D
http://www.dinside.no/910736/ikke-kast-det-gamle-datautstyret (http://www.dinside.no/910736/ikke-kast-det-gamle-datautstyret)
If you use Google Translate, it can be in any language you like. :)
Or bing toolbar in IE....
ha!  Who knew?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 04, 2013, 08:27:22 AM
yepp, the only toolbar i like
it have translate, and mail check with one click buttons to log in to yahoo/gmail.....and more, you can add/remove what you dont need
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on February 04, 2013, 11:58:20 AM
You don't even have to use the toolbar to have the "translate with Bing" option available in IE9.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 04, 2013, 12:11:05 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20130204-q03q-13kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20130204-q03q-13kb)
I don't have a toolbar for translations either. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on February 04, 2013, 02:19:14 PM
You don't even have to use the toolbar to have the "translate with Bing" option available in IE9.
You don't need the toolbar to have translate in IE10 either http://www.iegallery.com/Addons/Details/205
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 04, 2013, 05:11:13 PM
can you also get the one click shortcuts to yahoo/gmail log inn?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on February 04, 2013, 08:31:40 PM
can you also get the one click shortcuts to yahoo/gmail log inn?
Since I never use the actual sites to get or read my mail, I don't know but the translation feature is available in the right click context menu on any page.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on February 05, 2013, 07:37:22 AM
can you also get the one click shortcuts to yahoo/gmail log inn?
Not sure but what I do with my Hotmail is first add it to favourites then in internet options/delete browsing history tick the box to preserve favourites website data.

After doing all that it's only one click from favourites to go to Hotmail and no more logging in :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 05, 2013, 12:43:03 PM
This doesn't sound Funny to me.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on February 12, 2013, 01:08:46 PM
Beware of the zombies... ;D
http://www.h-online.com/security/news/item/Hacked-US-TV-Channels-report-zombie-apocalypse-has-begun-1802464.html
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on February 12, 2013, 10:24:02 PM
Even funnier, this morning's Yahoo News had an item saying that emergency-preparedness seminars are including how to deal with vampire -- sorry, meant zombie -- attacks.  The columnist agreed that the possibility of such was strictly hypothetical, and conjectured that the thinking was "if you're prepared for zombies, you're ready for anything."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on February 12, 2013, 10:32:19 PM
Hi MikeBCda,

You never know what is being broadcasted from a "hacked" TV station even if it is belated Halloween news:
http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/story/2013/02/12/zombie-warning.html (source: Darko Vojinovic)
next they attack China  ;D

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on February 12, 2013, 11:57:22 PM
Do not do this in court!  ;D

http://www.cnn.com/video/?hpt=hp_c1#/video/bestoftv/2013/02/06/tsr-moos-flip-bird-at-judge-pkg.cnn
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on February 13, 2013, 07:26:42 AM
This is funny to me. The security firm Bit9, who pride themselves on having totally malware proof security systems, had some of their servers hacked and sensitive information including a certificate they sign their software with stolen. The certificate was then used to sign malware. The thing that struck me funny was this quote from the statement they released.
Quote
"Due to an operational oversight within Bit9, we failed to install our own product on a handful of computers within our network," Chief Executive Patrick Morley wrote on Bit9's blog
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 13, 2013, 10:47:35 AM
Man! Iran has failed and completely dumb trying to be tough against the world ;D

Iran's 'laughable' fighter jet caught out in Photoshop blunder
http://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/irans-laughable-fighter-jet-caught-out-in-photoshop-blunder-20130213-2ebwb.html
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on February 13, 2013, 05:38:00 PM
Interesting: http://agallantidea.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/westlake_zombieflyer_forhumans.jpg

pol
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 22, 2013, 06:29:52 PM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20130222-scfy-63kb.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 23, 2013, 03:32:08 AM
LMAO! or he might have a problem in bed and she not getting enough what she need ;) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 23, 2013, 10:13:34 AM

(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1361610696491-38617.png) (http://youtu.be/MsgJkjD0tFY)
                        Has truTV Gone to the Dogs ? (http://youtu.be/MsgJkjD0tFY)

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 24, 2013, 06:11:52 AM
Quotes To Live By..
http://www.laughitout.com/2007/09/quotes-to-live-by.html?m=1
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on February 27, 2013, 03:47:14 PM
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)


 -You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
 -- Alan, age 10

 -No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
 -- Kristen, age 10


 2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

 Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
 -- Camille, age 10


 3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
 You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
 -- Derrick, age 8


4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
 Both don't want any more kids.
 -- Lori, age 8


 5. [/B]WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
 -Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
 -- Lynnette, age 8
 (isn't she a treasure)

 -On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
 -- Martin, age 10


 6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

 -When they're rich.
 -- Pam , age 7

 -The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
 - - Curt, age 7

 -The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
 - - Howard, age 8


 7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

 It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
 -- Anita, age 9


8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

 There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
 -- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favourite is.......

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
 -- Ricky, age 10


Number 9 is my favourite   ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on February 27, 2013, 03:49:25 PM
ROFL ;D Thanks Craig..!!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Simion on February 28, 2013, 02:12:18 AM
Those are hysterical! Thanks for posting, Craig. ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 28, 2013, 06:17:29 AM
ROFLMAO ;D ;D ;D ;D Thanks Craigb I needed that ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: nanajana on March 01, 2013, 07:01:36 AM
A little something for the ladies & guys with a sense of humour!
MEN!!!!
 
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
Sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room,
he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the
washing machine?' 

'It depends,' I replied.   'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, ' DALLAS COWBOYS'!

And they say blondes are dumb....
---------------------------------------------------------------- 
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world..' 
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you........
---------------------------- 
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out
of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if
I mowed the lawn like this?'

'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied. 
------------------------------------- ------ 
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor 
------------------------------------------- 
Dear Lord, 
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat
him to death. 
AMEN 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine? 
A: They are practicing to be men. 
-------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.. 
--------------------------------------------- 
Q:  What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. 
------------------------------------------ 
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? 
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe... 
------------------------------------------- 
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? 
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals' 
------------------------------------------------- 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 11, 2013, 09:39:30 PM
Just received this from a friend and it deserved to be shared:


Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning

“Windows frozen, won’t open.”

Husband texts back: “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it.”

Wife texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer really screwed up now.”
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 12, 2013, 11:48:51 AM
The husband & wives store



A store that sells new husbands has opened in Manchester , just off Deansgate where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!


So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:


Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs


She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:


Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'


So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.


'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.


She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework...


'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:


Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.


She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:


Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street with the same rules.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.





 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on March 12, 2013, 05:13:53 PM
I thought that the 6th floor would state - Sorry all of the merchandise is already married.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 12, 2013, 05:21:10 PM
I thought that the 6th floor would state - Sorry all of the merchandise is already married.
Or gay ;D but that could also be floor 4 and 5 ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on March 15, 2013, 05:56:36 PM
A very good trailer persiflage: http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6789072/dora-the-explorer-movie-trailer-with-ariel-winter

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on March 21, 2013, 07:55:44 AM
Four old Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square .

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope . When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, The four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, I have a daughter,

SLIM & TALL

40" Breasts
24" WAIST and
34" HIPS


When she walks into a room, people say,

Oh MY God!!!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on March 21, 2013, 08:01:57 AM
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Australia," replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Australia too! Let's have another round to Australia."

"Of course," replies the second man.

I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Australia are you from?"

"Rainbow Beach," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Rainbow too! Let's have another drink to Rainbow."

"Of course," replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"

"Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '82."

"This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '82, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.

"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The Nackers twins are drunk again."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on March 24, 2013, 07:11:09 AM
A young guy from West Virginia moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
>
> The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in West Virginia ."
>
> Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.
>
> "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
>
> His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.
>
> "How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day.
>
> That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida . One sale a day might have been acceptable in West Virginia , but you're not in the mines anymore, son."
>
> The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"
>
> The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".
>
> The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?"
>
> The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
>
> The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?" The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing..................."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on March 24, 2013, 07:11:45 AM
Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved rugby all our lives, and we played rugby on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favor, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's rugby there." Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed," Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you. Shortly after that, Joe passes on. At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Mike--Mike." "Who is it? Asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?" "Mike--it's me, Joe." "You're not Joe. Joe just died." "I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice. "Joe! Where are you?" "In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news." "Tell me the good news first ," says Mike. "The good news," Joe says," is that there's rugby in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play rugby all we want, and we never get tired." That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news? "You're in the team for this Saturday."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 27, 2013, 08:46:41 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1364413432141-62651.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 29, 2013, 12:55:43 PM
World's Worst Burglary Attempt Apparently Caught On Tape In Redding, California (VIDEO)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/28/worlds-worst-burglar-video-redding-_n_2972273.html
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 29, 2013, 01:08:01 PM
World's Worst Burglary Attempt Apparently Caught On Tape In Redding, California (VIDEO)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/28/worlds-worst-burglar-video-redding-_n_2972273.html
I'd only just watched this on the new's about 30 minutes ago, what a fool.

I feel sorry for his offspring if he has any that they ended up with his Genes ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on March 29, 2013, 03:21:57 PM
Video of magician pulling a hamburger out of thin air!  http://videos.komando.com/watch/3026/kims-picks-magician-pulls-hamburger-out-of-thin-air?utm_medium=nl&utm_source=tvkim&utm_content=2013-03-28-article-screen-shot-d (http://videos.komando.com/watch/3026/kims-picks-magician-pulls-hamburger-out-of-thin-air?utm_medium=nl&utm_source=tvkim&utm_content=2013-03-28-article-screen-shot-d)  (Courtesty of komondo.com) videos

How did he do that?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 01, 2013, 02:29:20 AM

(http://www.relentlesslyoptimistic.com/WindowsLiveWriter/computer%20virus_thumb.jpg)
ALERT: Binary Flu spreads from Computers to Humans (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=aVuC3butM9o)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 02, 2013, 03:45:51 PM
Poor Ondrej (Vlk)
https://blog.avast.com/2013/04/02/what-happen-in-avast-stays-in-avast/ (https://blog.avast.com/2013/04/02/what-happen-in-avast-stays-in-avast/)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Lisandro on April 02, 2013, 06:13:04 PM
Poor Ondrej (Vlk)
https://blog.avast.com/2013/04/02/what-happen-in-avast-stays-in-avast/ (https://blog.avast.com/2013/04/02/what-happen-in-avast-stays-in-avast/)
What is done in avast! stays in avast! :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: nanajana on April 09, 2013, 06:36:50 AM
Raisin Bread

A  bakery owner hires a young female shop assistant who liked to wear very short  skirts and thong panties.
 
One  day a young man enters the store, glances at the shop assistant and at the  loaves of bread behind the counter.
 
Noticing  her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant  idea.
 
"I'd  like some raisin bread please," the man says.
 
The  shop assistant nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread located on  the very top shelf.
 
The  man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view,  just as he thought.
 
When  she descends the ladder, he decides that he had better get two loaves.
 
As  the shop assistant retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male  customers notices what's going on and requests his own loaf of raisin  bread.
After  many trips she is tired and irritated and begins to wonder, "why the unusual  interest in the raisin bread?"
 
Atop  the ladder one more time, she looks down and glares at the men standing below.
Then,  she notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd.
 
Thinking  that she can save herself another trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is it  raisin for you too?"
"No,"  stammers the old man, "but it's quivering a little.."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ianmcqui on April 09, 2013, 05:09:14 PM
Loved it nearly wet myself, thanks.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: nanajana on April 10, 2013, 04:16:53 AM
Quote
Loved it nearly wet myself, thanks.

You're welcome!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on April 10, 2013, 08:36:20 AM
This is your idea of a mobile device.
(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/3/8/13/enhanced-buzz-24005-1362767084-1.jpg)

Your computer is in a pizza box.
(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/3/8/12/enhanced-buzz-15504-1362763215-0.jpg)

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/555019_445545488854136_864790420_n.jpg)

(http://sphotos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/906295_506799819378582_1024634287_o.jpg)


Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

1st woman: Hi! Barbara.

2nd woman: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: essexboy on April 12, 2013, 10:51:23 PM
For all budding helpdesk people out there, this is how it is done http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQHX-SjgQvQ&feature=youtu.be
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 13, 2013, 01:55:41 PM
For all budding helpdesk people out there, this is how it is done http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQHX-SjgQvQ&feature=youtu.be (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQHX-SjgQvQ&feature=youtu.be)
This also works with a Google Chrome Book. Just open it and you can read it.   If you try it with a Windows Notebook, things are a bit more troublesome.... :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on April 21, 2013, 08:47:11 AM
Whoever threw this tennis ball at this dog's crotch
(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/terminal05/2012/4/12/15/enhanced-buzz-30360-1334257633-188.jpg)

Whoever this sports fan is
(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/web04/2012/4/12/13/enhanced-buzz-8465-1334250956-87.jpg)

Whoever planned this "Same Height Party"
(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/web04/2012/4/12/13/enhanced-buzz-8529-1334250979-74.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 22, 2013, 03:03:58 PM
I'd like to "toot" my own horn:

    *   Old  Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing
of the  National Anthem. Old Farts remove their caps and stand at attention
and  sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in  them. 
    *   Old  Farts remember World War II, Pearl Harbour , Guadalcanal ,
Normandy and  Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold
War, the  Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping
 Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam . 
    *   If  you bump into an Old Fart on the sidewalk he will apologize. If
you pass  an Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady.
Old  Farts trust strangers and are courtly to women. 
    *   Old  Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when
walking, make  certain the lady is on the inside for protection. 
    *   Old  Farts get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and
children  and they don't like any filth or dirty language on TV or in 
movies. 
    *   Old  Farts have moral courage and personal integrity.. They seldom
brag  unless it's about their children or grandchildren. 
    *   It's  the Old Farts who know our great country is protected, not by
 politicians, but by the young men and women in the military serving  their
country.


This country needs Old Farts with their work  ethic, sense of
responsibility, pride in their country and decent  values.


We need them now more than  ever.


Thank  God for Old Farts! :) :) :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on April 22, 2013, 11:56:04 PM
Nicely put, Bob.  I was born in Nov. '45, so I'm a hair too young to "remember" WWII-related things, although by the time I learned to read they were still fairly recent history.  Fell into the cracks between wartime babies and baby-boomers, I guess.

But I'm definitely of the generation that agrees with all your points about courtesy and respect.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 23, 2013, 12:32:14 AM
It just points out that us old timer are still good for other things than passing gas....
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on April 23, 2013, 07:48:12 AM
It just points out that us old timer are still good for other things than passing gas....

Not unless you stop eating bake beans, peanuts and chips, and stop drinking beer you won't be passing out with old fart gas, what happen if someone comes over to you're house and start having a smoke (http://www.gamesprays.com/files/resource_media/preview/kaboom--5881_preview.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on April 23, 2013, 05:09:28 PM
First day in a new job.... see video

http://ipad.kjendis.no/2013/04/23/kjendis/nyhetsanker/a_j_clemente/kfyrtv/north_dakota/26808659/

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on April 24, 2013, 08:13:58 PM
Only in America, eh?  This headline from this morning's Yahoo News (originally from the AP) sounded straight out of Mad or the Lampoon, so I had to read the story.  And having done so, I had to pass it along.  Sorry if it's a little long, but I'd have had trouble trimming out the relatively uninteresting parts.

Quote
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop helped a neighbor woman escape a Tuesday morning attack by a man who had been stalking her.

Kent Hendrix woke up Tuesday to his teenage son pounding on his bedroom door and telling him somebody was being mugged in front of their house. The 47-year-old father of six rushed out the door and grabbed the weapon closest to him — a 29-inch high carbon steel Samurai sword.

He came upon what he describes as a melee between a woman and a man. His son stayed inside to call 911 while he approached the man along with other neighbors who came to help. The martial arts instructor didn't hesitate in drawing the sword and yelling at him to get on the ground.

"His eyes got as big as saucers and he kind of gasped and jumped back," Hendrix said by phone Tuesday afternoon. "He's probably never had anyone draw a sword on him before."

The man ran down the street with the barefoot Hendrix and others in pursuit. Hendrix said he couldn't catch the man before he fled in his car, but he picked up ChapStick that the man dropped and memorized his license plate.

"I yelled at him, 'I've got your DNA and I've got your license plate: You are so done,'" Hendrix said.

The suspect, 37-year-old Grant Eggersten, turned himself in to police an hour later, said Unified Police Lt. Justin Hoyal. He was booked on charges of robbery, attempted burglary, trespassing and violation of a stalking injunction.

Hendrix, a pharmaceutical statistician, was one of several neighbors who came to the woman's aid after she began yelling for help, Hoyal said.

The incident began just after 7 a.m. when the 35-year-old woman came out of her front door, Hoyal said. Eggersten was hiding behind her carport and attacked her, knocking her to the ground, Hoyal said.

He took her keys and tried to open the door into her house, Hoyal said. That's when the woman ran down the street calling for help.

The woman did the right thing by fighting back and calling for help, Hoyal said. She suffered minor injuries.

Hendrix, a bishop in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, said it was the first time in 30 years of practicing martial arts that he's used the sword. He didn't swing it at the man, only showing him he had it.

He said he's proud of his 14-year-old son for alerting him and quickly calling 911. He said the family is still abuzz about the events.

"That kind of thing doesn't happen every day," Hendrix said. "Our neighborhood is a pretty quiet place."

A fourth-degree black belt in the Kishindo form of martial arts, Hendrix owns a collection of swords and weapons that he trains with, said his wife, Suzanne Hendrix. He has trained with the sword he used Tuesday for 20 years and keeps it by his bed.

"Some people have bats they go to," said Hendrix. "I have my sword."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 24, 2013, 08:44:36 PM
No Samurai just a 3 iron. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Simion on April 24, 2013, 09:52:15 PM
First day in a new job.... see video

http://ipad.kjendis.no/2013/04/23/kjendis/nyhetsanker/a_j_clemente/kfyrtv/north_dakota/26808659/
And maybe his last! :D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on April 24, 2013, 10:51:47 PM
Funny statement (i.m.o.): "An av-solution is like a bra, seems you do not need it, but oi it keeps everything up"

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on April 29, 2013, 12:13:06 PM
a must have......  just in case i ordered 10   ;D

The MacGyver multitool
http://www.engadget.com/2007/07/18/the-macgyver-multitool/


wonder if they have army version.... with camoflage color..... somthing for you David   ;D



Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on April 29, 2013, 12:26:19 PM
Already got one.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Chris Thomas on May 05, 2013, 12:46:17 PM
The moment when you accidentally click IE


(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/295353_475035462564478_2067027113_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on May 05, 2013, 04:35:12 PM
Guitar strings for air guitar

http://www.airguitarstrings.com/

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on May 05, 2013, 04:37:31 PM
T-shirts for plummers
http://www.boredpanda.com/butt-crack-cleavage-t-shirt/

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on May 06, 2013, 09:32:59 AM
T-shirts for plummers
http://www.boredpanda.com/butt-crack-cleavage-t-shirt/

This one really crack me up so bad. When I was a kid I've seen way to many butt-crack-cleavage men in my days and what I do is when my mother ring a plumper and I see a butt-crack-cleavage, I stick a straw into his cleavage and said either you pull you're pants up or drink you're butt-crack-cleavage ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on May 07, 2013, 09:08:47 AM
how good is your washing machine?

extreme test.   ;D
http://www.sol.no/#/klipps/video/2670775/Han_er_apenbart_ikke_fornoyd_med_vaskemaskinen_


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on May 07, 2013, 11:15:28 AM
how good is your washing machine?

extreme test.   ;D
http://www.sol.no/#/klipps/video/2670775/Han_er_apenbart_ikke_fornoyd_med_vaskemaskinen_

God crikey it took 2mins & 20sec for a washing machine to come a part completely and it was still going bouncing around across the lawn for another 10 or 15sec and than stood dead still before turning off the power, if you want to see a washing machine to come a part completely under 2mins & 20sec use a bloody normal size house brick because it a bit heaver with rough corners ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on May 07, 2013, 12:15:19 PM
how good is your washing machine?

extreme test.   ;D
http://www.sol.no/#/klipps/video/2670775/Han_er_apenbart_ikke_fornoyd_med_vaskemaskinen_

Seen one like this before only they used a concrete block in the machine. I didn't think it was that funny, more stupid as any fool would understand what was going to happen.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on May 07, 2013, 05:27:43 PM
how good is your washing machine?

extreme test.   ;D
http://www.sol.no/#/klipps/video/2670775/Han_er_apenbart_ikke_fornoyd_med_vaskemaskinen_
I call foul. Since when do washing machines continue running when the door is opened?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 07, 2013, 06:11:38 PM
how good is your washing machine?

extreme test.   ;D
http://www.sol.no/#/klipps/video/2670775/Han_er_apenbart_ikke_fornoyd_med_vaskemaskinen_ (http://www.sol.no/#/klipps/video/2670775/Han_er_apenbart_ikke_fornoyd_med_vaskemaskinen_)
I call foul. Since when do washing machines continue running when the door is opened?
You aren't supposed to analyze something funny. Just laugh.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: nanajana on May 07, 2013, 08:27:40 PM
 FUN PUNS!
 
*  The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

  *  I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

  *  She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

  *  A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

  *  No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

  *  A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

  *  A grenade thrown into a kitchen in  France  would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

  *  Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

  *  A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

  *  Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

  *  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

  *  Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

  *  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

  *  A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

  *  The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

  *  The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

  *  A backward poet writes inverse.

  *  In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

  *  If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .

  *  A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

  *  Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

  *  Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

  *  There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on May 07, 2013, 11:19:46 PM
how good is your washing machine?

extreme test.   ;D
http://www.sol.no/#/klipps/video/2670775/Han_er_apenbart_ikke_fornoyd_med_vaskemaskinen_ (http://www.sol.no/#/klipps/video/2670775/Han_er_apenbart_ikke_fornoyd_med_vaskemaskinen_)
I call foul. Since when do washing machines continue running when the door is opened?
You aren't supposed to analyze something funny. Just laugh.
It's not funny if it was rigged.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on May 07, 2013, 11:48:43 PM
  *  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
So are most weather bureaus ... does that imply they're also atheists?  Hmmm, that could explain a lot ... maybe the powers-that-be (by whatever name) are getting retribution by showing the world that the "forecasters" haven't a clue.  ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 08, 2013, 03:25:46 PM

Subject:  1955

Did  you hear the post office is
thinking  about charging 7 cents just to mail  a letter?

If they raise the minimum  wage to $1.00, nobody
will be able to hire  outside help at the store.

When I first started driving,  who wold have
thought gas would  someday  cost 25 cents a gallon?
Guess we'd be better off  leaving the car in the garage.

I'm afraid to send my kids to  the movies any more.
Ever since they let Clark  Gable get by with saying
DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, 
it seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN  in it.

I read the other day where  some scientist thinks
it's possible to put a  man on the moon by the end of the century.
They even  have some  fellows they call astronauts preparing for  it
down in Texas .

Did you see where some  baseball player just signed a contract for  $50,000 a
year just to play ball?  It wouldn't  surprise me if someday they'll be making  more
than the President.

I never thought I'd see the  day all our kitchen appliances would be  electric.
They're even making electric typewriters  now.

It's too bad things are so  tough nowadays. I see where a few married women  are
having to work to make  ends meet.

It won't be long before  young couples are going to have to hire someone  to watch
their kids so they can  both work.

I'm afraid the Volkswagen  car is going to open the door to a whole lot of  foreign
business.

Thank goodness I won't live  to see the day when the Government takes half  our
income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are  electing the best people
to  government.

The fast food restaurant  is convenient for a quick meal, but I seriously  doubt
they will ever catch on.

There is no sense going on short trips anymore for a weekend. It costs  nearly $2.00 a
night to stay in a hotel.

No one can afford to be  sick anymore.
At $15.00 a day in the hospital,  it's too rich for my blood.

If they think I'll pay 30 cents  for a haircut, forget it.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: !Donovan on May 09, 2013, 02:08:13 AM
The prices have been constantly increasing over the past few years. Soon the Dollar Store will be called the Two Dollar Store. :(

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 09, 2013, 03:15:04 AM
The prices have been constantly increasing over the past few years. Soon the Dollar Store will be called the Two Dollar Store. :(
Their plan is to change it to 1 Gold Bullion Store.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: nanajana on May 11, 2013, 08:32:13 PM
Retirement is different for everyone..

One day, while going to the shop, I passed by a retirement village.

On the front lawn were six old ladies, lying naked on the grass. I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way.

On my return trip, I passed the same retirement village with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn.

This time my curiosity got the better of me and I went inside to talk to the retirement village Administrator, and asked her,
"Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?"

"Yes," she said, "aren't they darlings? They're retired prostitutes - they're having a yard sale."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on May 12, 2013, 05:42:31 PM
This is soooooo off-topic, that is why I had to post it here: http://thedoghousediaries.com/5053
Entitled what your coffee says about you...

Damian
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on May 12, 2013, 06:41:53 PM
Now I had never thought of coffee in this way, make mine a Cappuccino to go. Don't know why there are 4 Expresso ones
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 13, 2013, 07:23:35 AM
Don't know why there are 4 Expresso ones
There's only one Expresso David, the other three are Espresso.

If you read the last one ( Expresso ) you'll see why ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on May 13, 2013, 11:32:05 PM
New outfits for twins. (I saw this at another forum and copied it)

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on May 21, 2013, 10:58:53 AM
A man ordered a voice automated robot car that does anything he tells it to do correctly, without any error He got the car and started sending it on errands. He soon became very proud of what the car could do, without mistakes. One day, when he too wasn't able to go out, his wife told him to tell the car to go and pick up the children from school, because she was so tired. The man agreed and said to the car; "Car, go and bring my children from school."

The car went and didn't return within the expected time. They knew something must be wrong. Several hours later and no car, the man became apprehensive. He dressed up and got ready to lodge a report at the police station. As he and his wife stepped outside they saw the car coming with a whole load of children. The car parked right in front of them and said; "These are your children,sir". In the car were their Landlady's two daughters, their choir mistress' two sons, his wife's best friend's daughter, their pastor's son and their neighbor's two sons.


The furious Wife shouted; "Don't tell me all these ones are your children?"

Whereupon the man calmly asked her ; "And can you tell me why our children are not in the car?"
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on May 29, 2013, 04:06:46 PM
one hungry garbage truck

http://www.dbtv.no/?vid=2416589363001



Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on May 29, 2013, 04:23:39 PM
one hungry garbage truck

http://www.dbtv.no/?vid=2416589363001

This is very true in Queensland when a $280,000 brand new Harley Davidson motorcycle was crush in a garbage truck about 2 years ago ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 29, 2013, 06:21:04 PM
$280,000 brand new Harley Davidson motorcycle
$280,000 :o was it made of gold ??? I think you might have an extra 0 in there by mistake Speedy.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on May 29, 2013, 06:53:13 PM
yea.... australian pricelist here
http://www.gsmc.com.au/pdf/GREAT%20SOUTHERN%20WEB.pdf

top price $37.000
the CVO models will be more ... but i guess not that much
hmm..... i miss my 1983 sportster when i see those pictures.   :'(
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 03, 2013, 06:09:14 PM
A young Beatles Fan:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=8cYCubol7a0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=8cYCubol7a0)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 03, 2013, 06:14:17 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1370276026629-50106.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 03, 2013, 06:20:21 PM

How to deal with spam text messages (SMS)
(http://cdn.dottech.org/media/2013/06/spam_text_messages.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Omid Farhang on June 03, 2013, 08:48:57 PM

How to deal with spam text messages (SMS)
He is my hero!! HA HA HA HA HA....  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on June 03, 2013, 11:25:23 PM
i can see myself in a german resturant ordering one.......... yea, whatever.   ;D


Germany drops its longest word: Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/10095976/Germany-drops-its-longest-word-Rindfleischetikettierungsuberwachungsaufgabenubertragungsgesetz.html

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 04, 2013, 01:18:07 AM
i can see myself in a german resturant ordering one.......... yea, whatever.   ;D


Germany drops its longest word: Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/10095976/Germany-drops-its-longest-word-Rindfleischetikettierungsuberwachungsaufgabenubertragungsgesetz.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/10095976/Germany-drops-its-longest-word-Rindfleischetikettierungsuberwachungsaufgabenubertragungsgesetz.html)
It is so long that the last part of the word is obliterated by the advertisement. :)  Donnerwetter!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 13, 2013, 11:51:41 PM

WHY OUR HEALTH CARE COSTS ARE SO HIGH!
Kevin had shingles..
Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this!
Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices
like an assembly line?
Here's what happened to Kevin:
Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.
Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance
number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had...
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete
medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.


A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said,
'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test,
an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait
for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the
nude and asked Kevin what he had.
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Kevin said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on June 23, 2013, 03:18:03 PM
(http://dailypicksandflicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/picdump-853-17.jpg)

(http://dailypicksandflicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/picdump-853-22.jpg)

(http://dailypicksandflicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/picdump-852-6.jpg)

(http://dailypicksandflicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/picdump-852-7.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on June 23, 2013, 08:22:56 PM
yea.... australian pricelist here
http://www.gsmc.com.au/pdf/GREAT%20SOUTHERN%20WEB.pdf

top price $37.000
the CVO models will be more ... but i guess not that much
hmm..... i miss my 1983 sportster when i see those pictures.   :'(

I'm a bit slow on this topic. But just spotted this and I gotta say, I know exactly what you mean!! 8)
Mine was a 1987 FLHS. First year of that particular model and was just heaven on the highway.
Yah, miss it. :-[ ;)

Edit: Prices now in Canada are similar with around 30-35,000.00
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on July 15, 2013, 04:27:46 PM
If Pigs could fly.    ;D
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1350337/The-happy-pigs-love-swim-Caribbean-telling-porkies.html


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on July 15, 2013, 06:36:09 PM
If Pigs could fly.    ;D
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1350337/The-happy-pigs-love-swim-Caribbean-telling-porkies.html
For the sharks over here in Australia that would be as close as you could get to meals on wheels ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on July 15, 2013, 06:48:22 PM
meals on wheels with extra bacon    ;D

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on July 15, 2013, 11:25:06 PM
Was that wild boar seen by avast team members?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/wildlife/10181303/Wild-boar-chased-by-police-through-streets-of-Prague.html

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on July 16, 2013, 12:13:45 AM
Ya.  One never knows what will happen on any given day when one gets out of bed.  Funny.  Maybe Avast! set that one free?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on July 16, 2013, 03:00:29 AM
Got loose from the virus chest, no doubt.  ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on July 23, 2013, 09:35:01 PM
nothing funny, but interesting

what home looks like from faaaaaar away..... click pictures for full size
http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/cassini/whycassini/cassini20130722.html#.Ue7Zc8saySM
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on July 23, 2013, 10:12:06 PM
nothing funny, but interesting

what home looks like from faaaaaar away..... click pictures for full size
http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/cassini/whycassini/cassini20130722.html#.Ue7Zc8saySM (http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/cassini/whycassini/cassini20130722.html#.Ue7Zc8saySM)
We have an "Interesting (http://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=28748.0)" thread. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on July 24, 2013, 10:35:35 PM
how to offload your cargo.    ;D
http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=relmfu&v=TtEFvIzo1OE


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on July 25, 2013, 08:34:28 AM
how to offload your cargo.    ;D
http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=relmfu&v=TtEFvIzo1OE

God Crikey :o :o and I'll bet these Taiwanese drivers can't even unload reinforcing steel bars off the truck using the same idea, because the weight would be double load when trying to unload a bamboo quicker like a boss ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on July 25, 2013, 08:48:38 AM
how to offload your cargo.    ;D
http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=relmfu&v=TtEFvIzo1OE

God Crikey :o :o and I'll bet these Taiwanese drivers can't even unload reinforcing steel bars off the truck using the same idea, because the weight would be double load when trying to unload a bamboo quicker like a boss ;D ;D ;D
WorkSafe here in Australia would have a field day with that ;D quite ingenious though and saves money on time and labour for unloading :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on July 25, 2013, 08:59:28 AM
Speaking of worksafe this is one of the demo videos we used to show all the trainees, a very very skilled operator http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1CMSV81_ws

It's not funny as the topic title would suggest but amazing to watch :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on July 25, 2013, 09:18:13 AM
It's not funny as the topic title would suggest but amazing to watch :)

Yes it not funny when it comes to worksafe and I've seen so many crazy things on a construction site around the world where most countries don't have work safety policy but amazing to watch :o :o
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on July 27, 2013, 07:35:29 AM
Jokes for the nerds in us:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbrbrzT56pU  (you tube)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on July 27, 2013, 09:49:20 AM
Sagging pants banned in US town    ;D
http://www.theage.com.au/travel/travel-news/sagging-pants-banned-in-us-town-20130716-2q18b.html
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on July 27, 2013, 09:59:28 AM
Sagging pants banned in US town    ;D
http://www.theage.com.au/travel/travel-news/sagging-pants-banned-in-us-town-20130716-2q18b.html
If only all the younger generations knew where the exposed boxer shorts originated it might make them think twice, It originated in the prison systems as a means to display that one was available for the other homosexuals, with that information I certainly would be pulling my pants up ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on July 27, 2013, 11:09:02 AM
Whoops!  That's not really something I needed to know. 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on July 27, 2013, 05:34:21 PM
If only all the younger generations knew where the exposed boxer shorts originated it might make them think twice, It originated in the prison systems as a means to display that one was available for the other homosexuals, with that information I certainly would be pulling my pants up ;D

Make sure you have a zipper attachment to your front door Craig, otherwise you'll leave out in the opening ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 08, 2013, 02:06:31 PM
Scared of flying   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFrf8vJp5MA
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 08, 2013, 02:38:32 PM
Scared of flying   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFrf8vJp5MA

Great, so very good follow up clips after that video. I love flying.

Being in a helicopter (military lynx) when they start throwing it about is unbelievable.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 08, 2013, 03:17:30 PM
yea, i have had a helicopter tour also, was at work on some remote power plant up on a mountain and we used a Eurocopter AS350.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurocopter_AS350
but he did not do any tricks, still fun


Red Bull helicopter here doing some amazing tricks.   http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=uYbx5H5e9Es

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 08, 2013, 03:37:46 PM
scared of heights, then this is not the work for you

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=yCYZZPwJr_c



Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on August 08, 2013, 06:59:25 PM
yea, i have had a helicopter tour also, was at work on some remote power plant up on a mountain and we used a Eurocopter AS350.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurocopter_AS350
but he did not do any tricks, still fun


Red Bull helicopter here doing some amazing tricks.   http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=uYbx5H5e9Es
Just amazing flying with the Red Bull.  Impressive flying skills by the pilot.  Only way to to a rollover I can see is to zero the pitch of the four blades that support the weight of the entire aircraft when upside down, as I see nil loss in altitude at that point.  Airbag, anyone?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on August 09, 2013, 01:21:57 AM
I hate flying, especially the takeoffs and landings. I'm white knuckled the whole time and can't sleep or even read anything. Helicopters are even worse, they tilt over and you look out and there are no wings.

It's always the landing that will get you
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 09, 2013, 12:21:04 PM
I hate flying, especially the takeoffs and landings. I'm white knuckled the whole time and can't sleep or even read anything. Helicopters are even worse, they tilt over and you look out and there are no wings.

It's always the landing that will get you

I have had several thousand more take-offs than landings ;D
Cuts out the two most dangerous times take-off and landing. Mind you as an instructor that was pretty much cancelled out as going up to despatch static line students as I wouldn't be jumping but landing for another load.

Flying is statistically very safe, I even started gliding (up to solo pilot) as many of the parachute clubs I jumped at had Glider clubs at or close to the drop zone. That really is much more interesting, winch/cable launch (wow), aero tow and car tow (by comparison, somewhere between the other two, much slower). Never managed to get a Bungee launch though.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 09, 2013, 02:55:43 PM
Quote
It's always the landing that will get you
I think you meant: It's always the (uncontrolled) landings that will get you.  :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: essexboy on August 09, 2013, 03:18:18 PM
After clocking up 3500 hours in helicopters that looked like fun to me :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 09, 2013, 03:48:47 PM
After clocking up 3500 hours in helicopters that looked like fun to me :)

Where ?

I had a posting at 71 Aircraft Workshop REME at Detmold, Germany.
I was also display team leader for REME Parachute Team, we had a close association with Army Air Corps team and also used their aircraft for displays, happy days ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on August 09, 2013, 03:58:42 PM
Forget about sky diving. I'm not jumping out of any plane that still has the wings on it. I have a serious issue with heights anyway. I don't even like ladders that have more than 3 rungs.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 09, 2013, 04:03:53 PM
There are many people who don't particularly like heights (like up a ladder, etc.) have no problem with the heights related to skydiving.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: essexboy on August 09, 2013, 04:06:17 PM
Funny you should say that but I hate ladders, yet had no qualms dangling 60 feet below a Seaking on a little bit of wire go figure :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 17, 2013, 11:33:05 AM
so now there are Ducks on Mars....
http://wwwwakeupamericans-spree.blogspot.it/2013/08/duck-like-creature-found-on-mars-by.html#.Ug9B8ssaySO


if it walks like a Duck and......     ;D


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on August 17, 2013, 12:10:50 PM
so now there are Ducks on Mars....
http://wwwwakeupamericans-spree.blogspot.it/2013/08/duck-like-creature-found-on-mars-by.html#.Ug9B8ssaySO


if it walks like a Duck and......     ;D

Yeah sure and how come we can't see a real UFO right before our very eyes up real close and where are the little green men, otherwise I believe NASA have been smoking way to much green weed and no wonder their bloody brains have been stone hard as a bloody red rock like Mars or eating way to much Mars Bar ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: RealNature on August 21, 2013, 08:02:30 PM
(http://s2.r-l.ro/fu/b/13/00/13009-v703-mai-dar-tu-stii-sa-inoti.jpg)
Now, I wonder what he was thinking at that moment?  :D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 21, 2013, 08:06:19 PM
Now, I wonder what he was thinking at that moment?  :D
I don't think we would be able to say on the forum what he would have been thinking ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: RealNature on August 21, 2013, 08:07:09 PM
Now, I wonder what he was thinking at that moment?  :D
I don't think we would be able to say on the forum what he would have been thinking ;D
;D Yep  ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 21, 2013, 08:11:14 PM
 he is thinking .... will this be a belly flop.    ;D

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on August 21, 2013, 08:47:02 PM
he is thinking .... will this be a belly flop.    ;D
How about...Uh-Oh!
Or...Whoops!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: RealNature on August 21, 2013, 08:58:27 PM
he is thinking .... will this be a belly flop.    ;D
How about...Uh-Oh!
Or...Whoops!
I think the bull singing at that moment "I believe I can fly ..." :D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on August 22, 2013, 07:54:30 AM
Now, I wonder what he was thinking at that moment?  :D
I don't think we would be able to say on the forum what he would have been thinking ;D

Or may this animal is love with this young runner and this guy is trying very hard to get away ;D ;D ;) ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on August 24, 2013, 09:08:32 PM
Introducing a brand new way to share everything
-> http://getprsm.com/ ;D 8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: RealNature on August 24, 2013, 09:24:52 PM
Introducing a brand new way to share everything
-> http://getprsm.com/ ;D 8)
:D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on August 24, 2013, 09:52:03 PM
Introducing a brand new way to share everything
-> http://getprsm.com/ ;D 8)
:D
Unfortunately, nothing new, but compiling everything into one website is.  Should be an eye opener for some out there.   ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 25, 2013, 09:48:56 AM
ALERT: Binary Flu spreads from Computers to Humans.    ;D
http://blog.avast.com/2013/04/01/alert-binary-flu/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 25, 2013, 04:18:52 PM
(https://sphotos-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/1010018_450270971736662_1987461457_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 27, 2013, 09:10:57 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1377630607798-95458.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on August 27, 2013, 09:15:11 PM
True story. I watched that game. The announcers had a hayday with that one.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 30, 2013, 06:38:03 PM
Tuff Guy    ;D

Spring Shot Screamer!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACMdMZvQ3Yo&feature=c4-overview&list=UUe_4gfG25DHcljUPzyS2_rQ

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on August 31, 2013, 06:24:03 AM
Tuff Guy    ;D

Spring Shot Screamer!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACMdMZvQ3Yo&feature=c4-overview&list=UUe_4gfG25DHcljUPzyS2_rQ

That tuff guy is a real fat baby screamer against her girlfriend sit beside her and he's not man enough against a woman for a Spring Shot ride, he really need to wear a bloody nappy for a baby ;D it's good to see that she is much stronger than him for a Spring Shot ride ;)...........Man! I can't stop laughing so hard when I saw the look on his face :o :o
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 31, 2013, 06:45:28 AM
Tuff Guy    ;D

Spring Shot Screamer!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACMdMZvQ3Yo&feature=c4-overview&list=UUe_4gfG25DHcljUPzyS2_rQ

That tuff guy is a real fat baby screamer against her girlfriend sit beside her and he's not man enough against a woman for a Spring Shot ride, he really need to wear a bloody nappy for a baby ;D it's good to see that she is much stronger than him for a Spring Shot ride ;)...........Man! I can't stop laughing so hard when I saw the look on his face :o :o
Screamer is definitely an understatement, he must be pretty embarrassed I would think being that his partner was cool calm and collected and he sooked like a child.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on August 31, 2013, 06:56:24 AM
Tuff Guy    ;D

Spring Shot Screamer!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACMdMZvQ3Yo&feature=c4-overview&list=UUe_4gfG25DHcljUPzyS2_rQ

That tuff guy is a real fat baby screamer against her girlfriend sit beside her and he's not man enough against a woman for a Spring Shot ride, he really need to wear a bloody nappy for a baby ;D it's good to see that she is much stronger than him for a Spring Shot ride ;)...........Man! I can't stop laughing so hard when I saw the look on his face :o :o
Screamer is definitely an understatement, he must be pretty embarrassed I would think being that his partner was cool calm and collected and he sooked like a child.

I understand what you mean Craig it's amazing to see women are better against men in most scary rides ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on August 31, 2013, 08:50:55 AM
The First Honest Cable Company
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=0ilMx7k7mso
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: RealNature on August 31, 2013, 04:52:22 PM
The First Honest Cable Company
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=0ilMx7k7mso
:D there is a truth behind this ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 31, 2013, 09:37:17 PM

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans...

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 01, 2013, 01:07:05 AM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20130831-sdd2-24kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20130831-sdd2-24kb)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on September 01, 2013, 01:24:42 AM
Bad idea to drive down that road.................... ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 01, 2013, 01:53:49 AM
Bad idea to drive down that road.................... ;D
Kids have no fear. Their parents make up for that.....
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on September 01, 2013, 02:16:25 AM
The Baldwin street in Duedin, New Zealand is the steepest street of the world.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baldwin_Street

Just awesome, every car gives up on that street. :D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 01, 2013, 07:50:55 AM
(http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20130831-sdd2-24kb.jpg) (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/20130831-sdd2-24kb)
I would have pushed my go-cart miles to find a hill like that when I was younger, especially with the nice launch into the drink at the end.

We had something similar near my house but there was a blind bend near the bottom which was a bit of a gauntlet in hoping that a car wasn't going to come around and at the bottom we would end up the creek, a nice cool off after pushing the go-cart up the hill ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 03, 2013, 04:10:32 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1378217379214-17725.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 03, 2013, 04:47:30 PM
That's a great shot ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 05, 2013, 12:04:39 AM
And you thought that all you had to worry about was a virus.....
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1378332195095-41504.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on September 05, 2013, 03:35:01 AM
That kid is smart. He is hiding behind the camara  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on September 05, 2013, 08:52:57 AM
That kid is smart. He is hiding behind the camara  ;D

ROFL ;D The comment is even better than the pic..!!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 05, 2013, 11:25:37 AM
And you thought that all you had to worry about was a virus.....
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1378332195095-41504.png)

I don't think this kid isn't smart enough to move very quick while hiding behind the camera IF he get bitten by a Croc ;D ;D ;D

Hey Croc. Psssss better hurry up and grab you're lunch before it to late ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 05, 2013, 06:16:09 PM
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY,
  AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRACIES OF ENGLISH

 

 

1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA...... FLOOR.

 

2. ATHEISM IS A "NON-PROPHET" ORGANIZATION.

 

3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES ?

 

4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY, IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

 

5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

 

6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS ?

 

7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP ?

 

8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION ?

 

9 IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM ?

 

10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL ?"

 

11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT ?

 

12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES ?

 

13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK ?

 

14 WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION TOILETS ? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM ?

 

15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED ?

 

16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS ?

 

17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY STILL TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT ?

 

18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK TELLER MACHINES ?

 

19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS ?

 

20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD ?

 

21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

 

22. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA ?
                         

 

23. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY ?

 

24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A "CIVIL" WAR ?

 

25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO ?

 

26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY ?

 

27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE ?

 

28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT ?

 

29. WHY ARE HAEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HAEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS" ?

 

30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM ?

 

31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM ?

 

32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED ?

 

33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD ?

 

34. WHY DO SHOPS HAVE SIGNS, 'GUIDE DOGS ONLY' ? THE DOGS CAN'T READ AND THEIR OWNERS ARE BLIND.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on September 05, 2013, 09:37:06 PM
ROFL   ;D   All of them are good, but not all will get it.

I see, said the blind man to the the deaf man as he picked up his hammer and saw.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 05, 2013, 09:59:01 PM
@craigb, I've passed them along. thanks :)


This may not be a tree planting ceremony but:
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1378411012331-33006.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on September 05, 2013, 10:10:35 PM
@ craigb  Those are good. I'm always looking for stuff like that.  8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 06, 2013, 06:50:48 AM
God Crikey :o Craig you've really crack me up when I nearly lost my bowel when I couldn't stop laughing ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 06, 2013, 08:35:29 AM
Glad you all like them and pass them on to whoever you wish as they were passed on to me in an email :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 06, 2013, 11:28:03 AM
Lunch
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1378459618676-11372.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 06, 2013, 11:46:40 AM
A French delicacy, this boy is cultured ;D

Looks like the same boy from the previous page that was buried in the sand Bob.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on September 06, 2013, 12:30:46 PM
Lunch
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1378459618676-11372.png)

You're meant to kiss it stupid ;D

Even then isn't it girls that kiss frogs ;D
Or, got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your Prince ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 06, 2013, 07:19:16 PM


My  darling husband,


Before  you return from your trip I just want to let  you know about  the


small  accident I had with the Ute when I turned into our driveway. 


Fortunately it's not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too


much  about me.



 


I was coming home from Caboolture and, when I  turned into the driveway, I


accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.


The garage door is  slightly bent but the Ute fortunately came to a halt when


it bumped into your new car.


I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will


forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.


I am  enclosing a picture for  you.


I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again. 


Your loving wife.



 


XX



 










P.S. Your girlfriend phoned.
 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on September 06, 2013, 07:41:14 PM
P.S. Your girlfriend phoned.

Yeap >:( Say something... Like, ... I don't believe it you mistakenly stepped on the accelerator instead of the brake ::)
 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 06, 2013, 07:47:53 PM
P.S. Your girlfriend phoned.

Yeap >:( Say something... Like, ... I don't believe it you mistakenly stepped on the accelerator instead of the brake ::)
P. S.     Payback is a bitch........
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on September 06, 2013, 07:48:24 PM
No comment... ;D
http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2013-09-06/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 06, 2013, 07:51:29 PM
P.S. Your girlfriend phoned.

Yeap >:( Say something... Like, ... I don't believe it you mistakenly stepped on the accelerator instead of the brake ::)
I don't think there is much you could say since he obviously got caught out cheating ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 07, 2013, 08:51:12 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1378579811129-1653.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on September 07, 2013, 10:40:58 PM
Good thing that the poor animal is almost certainly not likely to get access to a mirror after it wakes.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 08, 2013, 06:39:07 AM
Good thing that the poor animal is almost certainly not likely to get access to a mirror after it wakes.  ;D

Or maybe the poor dog hates being completely white for a change, and decide to allow this kid to give this dog a new colour fur coat like the Woodstock Festival lying down very peaceful smart dog ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on September 08, 2013, 07:55:19 PM
Heres a funny Video about driving rules and that it not ever good to respect them:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZM3cltz8H4
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on September 11, 2013, 05:20:19 PM
Congrats! Your Mobile Number was selected as a winner of £2,000,000.00!

An AVAST VirusLab analyst got a text saying he won £2,000,000, a laptop and other goodies. Find out what happened when he claimed his prize. ;)

http://blog.avast.com/2013/09/10/congrats-your-mobile-number-was-selected-as-a-winner-of-l-2000000-00/

Really funny i have to say. ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: nanajana on September 19, 2013, 04:57:26 AM
The wit of Phyllis Diller...

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab together, without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
 
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
 
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

My great-grandmother had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
 
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
 
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: nanajana on September 19, 2013, 05:07:06 AM
DIED IN SERVICE

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. 

The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up; stood beside the little boy; and said quietly, "Good morning, Alex."
"Good morning. Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque. "Pastor, what is this?"

 The  pastor replied, "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."

 Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,
"Which service, the 8:00 or the 9:30?"

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 20, 2013, 04:10:31 AM
Men Taking Up Too Much Space on the Train................................and don't complain or ask why ladies unless you're a male to understand why ;) ;D ;D 8)
http://mentakingup2muchspaceonthetrain.tumblr.com/page/1
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: twocents on September 20, 2013, 06:58:01 PM
Sorta reminds me of the baby diaper thread over at the Green Brewboard.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 23, 2013, 06:51:08 PM

The Pharmacist's Morning
Upon  arriving home, a husband was met at the door by
his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted
me terribly this morning on the phone.


I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the
phone."


Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront
the druggist and demand an apology. 
Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist
told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it.
 
This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.
I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car,
just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car
keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys."
 
"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding  ticket.
Later, when I was about three blocks from the store,
I had a flat tire." 
 
"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were
waiting for me to open up.  I got the store opened  and started
waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was
ringing off the hook ." 
 
He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against
the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all
over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to
pick up the nickels and the phone was still ringing.
 
When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer,
which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch
of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and
broke." 
 
"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and
I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife.
She wanted to  know how to use a rectal thermometer.
 
And believe me, mister,
as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on October 05, 2013, 12:35:50 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BK9zUXEI0lM

Those who wich they owned a Lambourgini Aventador   :)   

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 17, 2013, 03:58:18 PM

Underwear Dust
BEWARE OF THAT UNDERWEAR DUST!
(https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?ui=2&ik=ad3df3c036&view=att&th=141c681e81c377b5&attid=0.0.1&disp=emb&zw&atsh=1)


One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

'
Donna', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'

She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on October 18, 2013, 06:50:40 PM
Samsung
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxEIe-FCoKM
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on October 18, 2013, 06:58:48 PM
Samsung
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxEIe-FCoKM
I was initially thinking that is the fattest bear I have ever seen :o then he stood up and undressed ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on October 19, 2013, 05:39:04 AM
Samsung
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxEIe-FCoKM
I was initially thinking that is the fattest bear I have ever seen :o then he stood up and undressed ;D

Isn't that Yogi Bear the smartest bear knows how to used a side load washing machine ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on October 28, 2013, 02:22:26 PM
funerals can be expensive.... so then DIY   ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on October 28, 2013, 02:37:20 PM
funerals can be expensive.... so then DIY   ;D

Way to go, atop a mustard coloured Fiat.

I would be dead embarrassed ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 30, 2013, 12:30:26 AM

1962 vs. 2012 (a span of only 50 YEARS)


1962: Long hair
2012: Longing for hair


1962: KEG
2012: EKG


1962: Acid rock
2012: Acid reflux


1962: Moving to California because it's cool
2012: Moving to Arizona because it's warm


1962: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2012: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
 
1962: Seeds and stems
2012: Roughage
 
1962: Hoping for a BMW
2012: Hoping for a BM
 
1962: Going to a new, hip joint
2012: Receiving a new hip joint
 
1962: Rolling Stones
2012: Kidney Stones


1962: Passing the drivers' test
2012: Passing the vision test
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on October 30, 2013, 06:32:12 PM
Here's a pic of one of our most reputable and long-standing members.

See attached .jpg below:
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on October 31, 2013, 08:10:39 PM
Dumb criminals http://investigation.discovery.com/guilty-dumb-in-the-first-degree/guilty-dumb-in-the-first-degree-videos/guilty-dumb-in-the-first-degree.htm
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 12, 2013, 01:09:39 PM
Treadmill Dancing Fool

(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1384258124722-7873.png)
http://youtu.be/941oW2EodGs (http://youtu.be/941oW2EodGs)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: nanajana on November 13, 2013, 09:48:58 PM
I think this applies to all Governments, lol! :)  And a little something attached for all us Canadians & anyybody else who has heard about our infamous Mayor of Toronto, & Senator Mike Duffy!

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.

Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny..

He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. '

The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'

The little boy replies, 'The Prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and
the Future is in deep s**t.'
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: nanajana on November 15, 2013, 02:48:38 AM
PUNOGRAPHY - Fun with Puns

 I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

· When chemists die, they barium.

· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

· A dyslexic man walks into a bra .

· PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

· Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

· Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory-- I hope there's no pop quiz.

· The Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.

· The old man didn't like his beard at first. Then it grew on him.

· Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

· What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

· I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

· Broken pencils are pointless.

· What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

· All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

· I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

· Velcro - what a rip off!

· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

· Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

· Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

· I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on November 15, 2013, 07:53:55 PM
My head is reeling and aches!  Got Puns?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on November 16, 2013, 09:36:34 AM
Heavy philosophy -- well, sorta -- for the day:

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
-- a "tip" from the Zuma Deluxe game

Try not to stay up all night pondering this!  8) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on November 21, 2013, 10:26:38 PM
small mistake, landed on wrong airport.....a very small airport

http://edition.cnn.com/2013/11/21/travel/kansas-cargo-plane-wrong-airport/

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on November 21, 2013, 10:30:23 PM
something you have not heard before   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhQK-6iI7cI
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 23, 2013, 04:31:17 PM
Tis' the Season:
Kids Lip-Syncing A Wonderful Christmas Song (http://www.flixxy.com/kids-lip-syncing-a-wonderful-christmas-song.htm)
The Base steals the show. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on December 11, 2013, 06:09:01 PM
Wife :"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have avocados, get 6.

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

 

Water in the carburettor

WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor."

 HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous "

 WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor."

 HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"

 WIFE: "In the pool"



THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC,

PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRYSOME IN RECENT YEARS.


25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

 That's scary............

It means 75% are running around untreated.

(now you can throw rocks at me).

 

HE MUST PAY


Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mom and said,

"He fought with me again, I am coming to live with you."

 Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you."



Today's Short Reading from the Bible...


From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all 4 corners of the earth."

 Then He made the earth round...and He laughed and laughed and laughed!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: RealNature on December 11, 2013, 06:30:22 PM
THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC,

PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRYSOME IN RECENT YEARS.


25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.

 That's scary............

It means 75% are running around untreated.

(now you can throw rocks at me).

ROFL :D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 16, 2013, 04:50:24 PM
Tis' the Season:
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1387208913418-2141.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on December 16, 2013, 04:55:40 PM
Bob, now that's funny! ROFLMAO  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on December 19, 2013, 06:57:25 PM
see Garfield in action.   

the website is in Norwegian, however the video speak for itselfe      ;D

http://www.dbtv.no/?vid=2941690819001


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on December 19, 2013, 07:03:01 PM
see Garfield in action.   
Puss forgot his snow shoes ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on December 20, 2013, 06:22:11 AM
see Garfield in action.   
Puss forgot his snow shoes ;D
No, not that.  It's puss 'n boots here in Americas and seems he forgot those.  Funny.    ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on December 21, 2013, 09:50:52 AM
11Foot8 bridge crash compilation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzkWTcDZFH0

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on December 23, 2013, 11:32:25 PM
view in chrome ... and click translate

Santa is official cleared for Norwegian air space by the air traffic control    ;D
http://www.tu.no/samferdsel/2013/12/23/julenissen-klarert-for-norsk-luftrom

doc on pdf here   http://luftfartstilsynet.no/incoming/article13061.ece/BINARY/Trafikktillatelse+-+Julenissen+2013.pdf


Google Santa tracker   http://www.google.com/santatracker/#/village



Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: nanajana on December 30, 2013, 06:11:31 PM
I did not know this...

When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.

When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.
When you drink gin over ice it can give you brain problems.

Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
Warn all your friends.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 03, 2014, 01:42:36 AM
For all my Friends in Colorado and Any One Else looking to buy some legal Weed
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1388709652320-20781.png)  (https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B-vSic0iJgyeZDBpeHB6LVpnN2s/edit)
https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B-vSic0iJgyeZDBpeHB6LVpnN2s/edit?usp=docslist_api (https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B-vSic0iJgyeZDBpeHB6LVpnN2s/edit?usp=docslist_api)

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: nanajana on January 08, 2014, 07:10:20 AM
Environment Canada suggests that anyone traveling in the current icy conditions should ensure they have the following:

Shovel
Blankets or sleeping bag
Extra clothing including hat and gloves
24 hours worth of food
De-Icer
Rock Salt
Flashlight with spare batteries
Road Flares or Reflective Triangles
Full gas Can
First Aid Kit
Booster cables
 
I looked like an  idiot on the bus this morning!


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on January 08, 2014, 07:32:17 AM
For all my Friends in Colorado and Any One Else looking to buy some legal Weed
The main singer bares a strong resemblance to you Bob ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 08, 2014, 10:33:57 AM
For all my Friends in Colorado and Any One Else looking to buy some legal Weed
The main singer bares a strong resemblance to you Bob ;D

That's remind me of the Muppet Show as Statler on the right side of the picture as a strong resemblance to you Bob ;D ;D

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/02/Statler_and_Waldorf.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 08, 2014, 03:09:41 PM
Not even close:
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/bob3160/Avast%20Forum/Avatar_GorrillaBob3160.gif~original)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 09, 2014, 05:40:54 PM
Even if you don't drink Coffee,
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1389285488752-93546.png)

You still need a Coffee Maker
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Eddy on January 09, 2014, 05:49:15 PM
A horse on it's last legs.
(http://alfalfastudio.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/two-legs-horse-animated.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on January 09, 2014, 06:39:01 PM
FAIL blog..There i fixed it  http://failblog.cheezburger.com/thereifixedit

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 09, 2014, 06:55:56 PM
Eddy, what breed of horse is that?  ??? ;D ::) ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Eddy on January 09, 2014, 06:56:52 PM
I guess it is a half-breed :-)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on January 09, 2014, 07:03:24 PM
I guess it is a half-breed :-)
;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 10, 2014, 03:23:40 AM
Even if you don't drink Coffee,
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1389285488752-93546.png)

You still need a Coffee Maker

LMAO Bloody good one Bob..........why didn't I think of this years ago in an office when I felt like I need a hotdog for lunch ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 10, 2014, 04:39:00 PM
Isn't technology great?  ;D ::) ;D

@ Eddy  Great answer!  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on January 10, 2014, 11:21:43 PM
My two 7 years old nephews, twins BTW, had a laugh with the half breed. One called it a mutant horse. The other called it a man horse. How interesting two different kids interpret the same thing.

BTW both went running to tell my sis how to make hot dogs the next time ;D



Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 10, 2014, 11:46:14 PM
Actually not a bad idea. Hotdogs and keeps the buns moist so they don't dry out.  ;D
And to think I threw out my dad's coffee maker after he died.
I drink tea and not coffee. Coffee makers don't get the water hot enough.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 11, 2014, 07:32:38 AM
OT: It's not really funny because 'GOD Crikey' I love the Holden V8 chainsaw is an Aussie muscle axe ;D :o :o :o :o :o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6wG9ZJYDR8

PS. You better stay out of trouble and don't mess with Speedy otherwise I'll used the Holden V8 Aussie chainsaw on you ;D ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on January 11, 2014, 07:40:55 AM
OT: It's not really funny because 'GOD Crikey' I love the Holden V8 chainsaw is an Aussie muscle axe ;D :o :o :o :o :o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6wG9ZJYDR8

PS. You better stay out of trouble and don't mess with Speedy otherwise I'll used the Holden V8 Aussie chainsaw on you ;D ;)
Someone doesn't no their aussie motors, there's no such thing as a 4.1 Ltr - it's a 4.2 Ltr ( 253 Cubic inch ) then there is the 5 Ltr ( 308 Cubic inch )
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 12, 2014, 12:03:02 AM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1389481325699-29179.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on January 12, 2014, 12:04:38 AM
Thats a good one. :):):)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 12, 2014, 12:08:01 AM
Are you haven't a bad day Bob for paying iPhone, iPod & iPad to your grand kids ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 12, 2014, 12:14:58 AM
Are you haven't a bad day Bob for paying iPhone, iPod & iPad to your grand kids ;D ;D
Not really. I actually had a very good day out on the golf course. All work and no play.....
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1389482021872-35983.png)
Isleta Golf Course about 45 min. from my home. :)

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 12, 2014, 12:20:37 AM
Not really. I actually had a very good day out on the golf course. All work and no play.....

Oh really Bob have you been mowing the lawn a long the golf course from 1 to 18 holes of mowing, man you're legs are tough as 8 iron hitting a golf ball ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: AdrianH on January 12, 2014, 02:21:57 PM
(http://s26.postimg.org/zeue3bxg9/pf_F35u_KVTn_Q.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 12, 2014, 04:19:27 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1389539941027-65098.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on January 12, 2014, 06:25:47 PM
Are you haven't a bad day Bob for paying iPhone, iPod & iPad to your grand kids ;D ;D
Not really. I actually had a very good day out on the golf course. All work and no play.....
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1389482021872-35983.png)
Isleta Golf Course about 45 min. from my home. :)
That's my kind of golf course, flat, no water, few trees. :-)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 12, 2014, 07:07:58 PM
Water was NOT missing. I know, I made a big splash in one of the water hazards. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 13, 2014, 06:08:59 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1389632865601-31332.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 14, 2014, 06:03:52 PM
Good marketing plan?

http://www.majorgeeks.com/news/story/random_photo_what_a_deal.html

Why throw a life line when a foot will do..http://www.majorgeeks.com/news/story/something_is_afoot_with_this_headline.html
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 14, 2014, 06:50:02 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1389721770494-95804.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 15, 2014, 02:49:40 AM
Devil baby attack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUKMUZ4tlJg
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Cast on January 15, 2014, 04:45:33 AM
Devil baby attack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUKMUZ4tlJg

Saw this on my Facebook wall, was funny to watch since you knew it was fake.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 15, 2014, 07:09:58 AM
Devil baby attack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUKMUZ4tlJg

Saw this on my Facebook wall, was funny to watch since you knew it was fake.

Yeah and it remind me of the movie called 'Devil's Exorcist' the look on the baby face ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 15, 2014, 02:09:00 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1389791319658-91075.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on January 16, 2014, 01:40:36 AM
not sure what topic that is best suited for this    ;D

well here it is .... apps for cats

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw_5Z9r0420
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKzRoBa0Fqg
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 16, 2014, 04:41:12 AM
not sure what topic that is best suited for this    ;D

well here it is .... apps for cats

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw_5Z9r0420
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKzRoBa0Fqg

Pondus please don't train all the little kitten to kill all my friends ;D ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on January 16, 2014, 08:24:22 AM
they are working on a new version for Android ...called speedy cat trainer   ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: AdrianH on January 16, 2014, 09:45:33 AM
A Ukrainian friend asked if this was a good site for helping their teenage daughter to learn English ......

For anyone that remembers the "Ladybird" books used to teach kids to read , this will be a treat.

>>>> http://begin-english.ru/blog/police  <<<<<

( There are lots of funny pictures on the site too.)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 16, 2014, 02:19:01 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1389878320723-11428.png)
I guess in Colorado it's now called the Stoned Age :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on January 16, 2014, 10:15:06 PM
A Ukrainian friend asked if this was a good site for helping their teenage daughter to learn English ......

For anyone that remembers the "Ladybird" books used to teach kids to read , this will be a treat.

>>>> http://begin-english.ru/blog/police  <<<<<

( There are lots of funny pictures on the site too.)
Rofl!  The text (in English) accompanying the pix are often hysterically funny.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 16, 2014, 11:59:16 PM
A Ukrainian friend asked if this was a good site for helping their teenage daughter to learn English ......

For anyone that remembers the "Ladybird" books used to teach kids to read , this will be a treat.

>>>> http://begin-english.ru/blog/police  <<<<<

( There are lots of funny pictures on the site too.)
Rofl!  The text (in English) accompanying the pix are often hysterically funny.

+1 I enjoyed the second paragraphs on each "page".
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on January 17, 2014, 12:10:25 AM
Hi Para-Noid,

Never knew you were fluent in Russian  :D
The pictures are like those in my Dutch schoolbooks from the fifties...

pol
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on January 17, 2014, 07:09:18 AM
not sure what topic that is best suited for this    ;D

well here it is .... apps for cats

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw_5Z9r0420
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKzRoBa0Fqg

Pondus please don't train all the little kitten to kill all my friends ;D ;)
I heard the authors of Angry Birds are not happy either.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 23, 2014, 01:50:45 PM
It not funny.......however it's very Creepy ;D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3QDrmGrA4M
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 23, 2014, 06:15:17 PM
Hi Para-Noid,

Never knew you were fluent in Russian  :D
The pictures are like those in my Dutch schoolbooks from the fifties...

pol

I'm not. I'm fluent in Google Translate.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 23, 2014, 09:58:13 PM
Hi Para-Noid,

Never knew you were fluent in Russian  :D
The pictures are like those in my Dutch schoolbooks from the fifties...

pol

I'm not. I'm fluent in Google Translate.  ;D
There are quite a few of us on this Forum that share that expertise.  :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on January 26, 2014, 06:26:14 AM



Windows Frozen







Wife texts to husband at work "Windows at home frozen - what should I do?"






Husband - "Spray some de-icer or pour hot water on them"







Wife a few minutes later -





"Done that - now computer won't work at all"!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on January 26, 2014, 06:29:04 AM
AUSTRALIAN IDIOT SIGHTINGS
These were all quoted in newspapers so they must be true ;).
 

IDIOT SIGHTING 1:
 I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note.
 Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
 She said, 'You gave me too much money.'
 I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.'
 She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
 I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don't do that kind of thing.'
 The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
 Do not confuse the people at MacD's in Shepperton Vic.

IDIOT SIGHTING 2:
 We had to have the garage door repaired.
 The repairman told us that one of our problems was that
 we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
 I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower..
 He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
 I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
 We haven't used that Irish repairman since.
 Happened in Bankstown NSW.

IDIOT SIGHTING 3:
 I live in a semi rural area.
 We recently had a new neighbour call the local council to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road.
 The reason: 'Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here!
 I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
 Story from Bauple Qld

IDIOT SIGHTING 4:
 My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco.
 She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
 He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
 >From Castle Hill, Sydney ........

IDIOT SIGHTING 5:
 I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
 To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
 He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
 This happened at Melbourne Airport

IDIOT SIGHTING 6:
 The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
 I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
 She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
 I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
 Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
 She is a government employee in the Adelaide P.O. SA

IDIOT SIGHTING 7:
 When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
 We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
 As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked
 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
 His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
 Holden Dealership Townsville Qld
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 26, 2014, 01:29:13 PM
God Crikey Craig you've really crack up and no wonder my tummy is hurting me so hard when I nearly fart myself 6 times, and now I can't find a package of matches to take away the stink ;D ;D ;D

PS. Happy Australia Day Buddy ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on January 26, 2014, 01:54:31 PM
Americans are not too good at European geography
http://www.boredpanda.com/americans-place-european-countries-on-map/

Found the link in the latest blog post from Deborah. Enjoy. ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on January 26, 2014, 02:37:35 PM
Happy Australia Day Buddy ;D
Happy Australia day to you too mate :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 26, 2014, 02:47:13 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1390743962936-67645.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on January 26, 2014, 04:36:44 PM
I like that one Bob, sounds just like my grandfather ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on January 26, 2014, 11:59:56 PM
Heck, it sounds like me!  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 27, 2014, 12:30:48 AM
@ craigb  ROFLMAO  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

It's nice to know that there are idiots other than in the USA.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 27, 2014, 12:33:52 AM
Americans are not too good at European geography
http://www.boredpanda.com/americans-place-european-countries-on-map/

I know a few more than them but not enough to ace it.  :-[
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 27, 2014, 04:20:43 AM
I like that one Bob, sounds just like my grandfather ;D

You're not the only one Craig when you get to see my grandfather, and I would stand about 15 feet away from him ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: AdrianH on January 27, 2014, 02:42:23 PM
Seen on another forum today :

Quote
never rule out the PICNIC factor (Problem In Chair Not In Computer)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 27, 2014, 03:02:15 PM
Seen on another forum today :

Quote
never rule out the PICNIC factor (Problem In Chair Not In Computer)
This is one of those members who qualifies for this award:
http://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=145338.msg1055514#msg1055514 (http://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=145338.msg1055514#msg1055514)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 28, 2014, 06:12:01 PM
Stupid people are everywhere.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnsZzH-Bhfw

edit: More http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2JyB7sX6c8
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 28, 2014, 06:40:26 PM
Computers made easy...
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on January 28, 2014, 06:56:22 PM
Instructor

His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.

 Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger. He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.

 The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.

 Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'

 'Why?' asked the pilot.

 'Because I'm a photographer for CNN' , he responded, 'and I need to get some close up shots.'

 The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered,
 

 

'So, what you're telling me, is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 28, 2014, 07:01:27 PM
More computer jokes can be found here (http://www.kissmyfloppy.com/pages/pictures.php?category=miscellaneous).
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 28, 2014, 07:03:29 PM
Microsoft programmer

A woman had been married three times and was still a virgin. Somebody asked her how that could be possible.

"Well," she said. "The first time I hacked by despotic married an octogenarian and he died before we could consummate the marriage."

"The second time I married a naval officer and war broke out on our wedding day."

"The third time I married a Microsoft Windows programmer and he just sat on the edge of the bed and kept telling me how good it was going to be."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 28, 2014, 07:04:51 PM
Wow Para-Noid, you're really full of it today........  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 28, 2014, 07:13:32 PM
MURPHY’S LAWS OF COMPUTING
For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

To err is human… to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human; in fact it is downright natural.

He who laughs last probably made a back-up.

If at first you don’t succeed, blame your computer.

A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.

When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.

The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.

When the going gets tough, upgrade.

When you need to send an email quick, that’s when the modem won’t connec
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 28, 2014, 07:14:06 PM
Wow Para-Noid, you're really full of it today........  ;D ;D

I'm really bored.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 28, 2014, 07:17:53 PM
And another...
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 28, 2014, 11:15:59 PM
Ain't Facebook wonderful http://techbeat.com/2014/01/dumbest-criminal-award-goes-facebook-user/  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on January 29, 2014, 09:19:12 AM
And another one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbpHWcRpYBw&list=UUqvTh_HzivklfsNbNc8uy5w&feature=c4-overview
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 14, 2014, 09:58:33 PM
Animal Crackers (http://youtu.be/-ssXJtzFOjA)
Thanks to the BBC
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on February 14, 2014, 11:40:23 PM
Reminds me of "Monty Python's Flying Circus".  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 20, 2014, 02:41:08 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1392903572705-68224.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Valinorum on February 20, 2014, 03:21:59 PM
I swear I have stomach ache from all the laughter.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 20, 2014, 03:39:13 PM
I swear I have stomach ache from all the laughter.  ;D
My wife didn't think is was very funny.   :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on February 20, 2014, 06:58:57 PM
A small interesting song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRWAFQqQY9Y
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on February 20, 2014, 09:43:19 PM
Thanks to G. Relles over at my psoriasis group for posting this one:
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 20, 2014, 10:44:21 PM
Thanks to G. Relles over at my psoriasis group for posting this one:
You can also hope that the Camels digestive system isn't working well so you can glue the head back on......
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on February 21, 2014, 04:23:26 AM
I swear I have stomach ache from all the laughter.  ;D
My wife didn't think is was very funny.   :)

No, it's funny!
Ever gone Bowling with a "Headache"?  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 21, 2014, 08:55:09 AM
I swear I have stomach ache from all the laughter.  ;D
My wife didn't think is was very funny.   :)

No, it's funny!
Ever gone Bowling with a "Headache"?  ;D ;D

I've gone Bowling with a "Headache" and I couldn't bowl straight always keeps crashing to each side of the run way and I couldn't knock any bowling ball pin down at all, for drinking to much booze after a night out at the bloody pub ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: AdrianH on February 21, 2014, 09:29:54 AM
(http://s26.postimg.org/7k8dsebdl/x_6371bfd3.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 24, 2014, 07:05:14 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1393264885688-49802.png)(http://http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1393264885688-49802.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on February 25, 2014, 01:05:43 AM
Envision a "reply to all" situation.  ;) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 25, 2014, 01:08:17 AM
Envision a "reply to all" situation.  ;) ;D
Always use BCC it gets you into less trouble... :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 25, 2014, 04:08:18 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1393340797111-61809.png)
The older I get, the further down the road I hope this becomes reality....
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on February 25, 2014, 07:22:51 PM
its pretty funny to look at him with hot sauce...........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3pF4mMO-rs&feature=c4-overview&list=UUw-eZRxz9hHRR6BxyjMjGFA
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on February 25, 2014, 07:36:26 PM
Support the girl scouts

These Girl Scouts in Colorado have learned the number 1 rule of business:

Location, location, location!


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on February 26, 2014, 05:14:15 PM
Enough said...
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on February 26, 2014, 06:55:41 PM
Take a look at this face..........
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 26, 2014, 10:44:37 PM
Do you wonder what Bob3160 does when he is not here.    ;D

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=19wYCVGJBcM



Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on February 27, 2014, 12:03:54 AM
Do you wonder what Bob3160 does when he is not here.    ;D

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=19wYCVGJBcM

Excellent, busting my sides laughing.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 27, 2014, 02:42:11 AM
Do you wonder what Bob3160 does when he is not here.    ;D

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=19wYCVGJBcM (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=19wYCVGJBcM)

Excellent, busting my sides laughing.
That was me in my younger days when I still had some hair on my head that's actually visible.....
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on February 27, 2014, 05:26:22 AM
Do you wonder what Bob3160 does when he is not here.    ;D

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=19wYCVGJBcM

Excellent, busting my sides laughing.

LMAO! I can't stop laughing, crying and my tummy hurt so hard and wonder what Bob3160 does when he is not here.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on February 27, 2014, 06:25:34 AM
Hassling out little old ladies Bob! your a hell raiser ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 27, 2014, 01:09:25 PM
Hassling out little old ladies Bob! your a hell raiser ;D
Attend a Live Presentation (http://goo.gl/rNRnY) and you'll find out just how much of a hell raiser... :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on February 27, 2014, 01:48:07 PM
Hassling out little old ladies Bob! your a hell raiser ;D
Attend a Live Presentation (http://goo.gl/rNRnY) and you'll find out just how much of a hell raiser... :)
I could just imagine you all sitting around after one of you presentations - medicinal coffee cakes for all ;D ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 27, 2014, 08:59:26 PM
Hassling out little old ladies Bob! your a hell raiser ;D
Attend a Live Presentation (http://goo.gl/rNRnY) and you'll find out just how much of a hell raiser... :)
I could just imagine you all sitting around after one of you presentations - medicinal coffee cakes for all ;D ;)
You forgot about the Medicinal Ice Cream and the Medicinal Late. :)


(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1393531044164-59819.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on February 28, 2014, 07:24:16 PM
Does someone need this? :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on February 28, 2014, 07:24:47 PM
At the Dentist...............
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on February 28, 2014, 08:24:01 PM
Be careful on what you ask for...
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on February 28, 2014, 08:27:09 PM
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house.  Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home.  "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you.  I've been having an affair with my secretary.  I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"


A married couple went out to a nice restaurant to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.  While driving home the wife saw a tear coming from her husband’s eye. “Are you happy that we have spent 50 splendid years together?” she said. He said, “No.  I was just thinking about our wedding and how your father threatened me with a shotgun that if I didn’t marry you right then he would have me thrown in prison for 50 years.  Tomorrow I could have been free!”

edit: addition
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 28, 2014, 10:15:48 PM
Does someone need this? :)
Not really. We celebrate or 54th  Anniversary  on 3/1/2014.
I don't mind saying that I suffered from that condition the first time I laid eyes on Alice. :)
Still have the same problem now. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on February 28, 2014, 10:20:46 PM
Well than congratulations for your 54th Anniversary Bob. ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on February 28, 2014, 11:17:22 PM
Congratulations Bob and Alice on fifty four wonderful years.  8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on March 01, 2014, 03:12:15 PM
Saw this one on yahoo, I won't say what it is to spoil it, but it is very clean, as can bee seen in the title.

http://uk.screen.yahoo.com/video/playlist/funny-animals/bunny-lays-back-enjoys-bath-165041833.html (http://uk.screen.yahoo.com/video/playlist/funny-animals/bunny-lays-back-enjoys-bath-165041833.html)

I hope it isn't geo blocked.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 01, 2014, 03:37:50 PM
Saw this one on yahoo, I won't say what it is to spoil it, but it is very clean, as can bee seen in the title.

I hope it isn't geo blocked.
He's very relaxed :) it would make a good ad for a day spa.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 01, 2014, 04:03:46 PM
I guess it's one way to clean it up for Hasenpfeffer.... :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 01, 2014, 10:53:43 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1393710762989-2147.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 03, 2014, 04:49:53 PM
Jeff Gordon Test Drive 2
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1393861761079-55799.png)
http://youtu.be/CK3zJ0-a1oI (http://youtu.be/CK3zJ0-a1oI)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on March 04, 2014, 01:37:14 AM
I was watching The Walking Dead and I had this thought about one of those "Oh, Crap" moments.

Say you're an elderly person in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. You go to bed but die peacefully in your sleep. You wake up as a ravenous flesh-eating zombie but -------- your teeth are in a glass on the nightstand. 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 06, 2014, 04:49:10 PM
Bob is doing it again.....streets of terror     ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wc8yZD06yE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG8pAAZW6FE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0KvMTFxyvw
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 06, 2014, 05:08:58 PM
Bob is doing it again.....streets of terror     ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wc8yZD06yE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG8pAAZW6FE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0KvMTFxyvw
Those 100cc go-cart engines go quite well with a change down in gear ratios.
We used to get about 100kmph out of our carts on the track but those mobility carts look to be going a bit faster than that, of course there is some bottom end loss with the gear change but the top end would give the extra thrills 8)
I hope your grand kids don't see what you've been up to in your time off Bob ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 06, 2014, 06:26:37 PM
Quote
I hope your grand kids don't see what you've been up to in your time off Bob ;D
Time off is almost over. 6:00 AM next Wed. I'll be leaving for Fla.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 08, 2014, 12:17:08 PM
Dog bath    ;D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4LnorVVxfw

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 08, 2014, 12:58:44 PM
Dog bath    ;D
Very entertaining ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 08, 2014, 01:57:56 PM
Jeremy's P45 - Smallest Car in the World! - Extended Full HD - Top Gear - BBC

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFdBcYN3sNw

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on March 08, 2014, 03:20:00 PM
Gaming can be tough - Funny gaming fail compilation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_2674119957&feature=iv&src_vid=jQZtk-fCWQ4&v=d_9YsLIVWIA
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on March 08, 2014, 07:16:18 PM
Ah...the  good old days...Or...remember when?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkuirEweZvM
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 08, 2014, 11:36:19 PM
Ah...the  good old days...Or...remember when?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkuirEweZvM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkuirEweZvM)
Nice. They should have asked an expert who was born in the '40's  :D 8) :D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on March 09, 2014, 01:59:44 AM
I was born in 1954 and I remember the old rotary dial.
One tiny town/village we lived in had the really old magneto crank phones.
No, I can't remember the ring sequence, two short and one long, or if it
was a different sequence. I was either 5 or six years old then. I even had hair too.

Life was easier back then. We just went to a friends house and asked through
the screen door if "so and so" could come out to play. And we had to be home
by the time the street lights came on.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on March 11, 2014, 10:27:27 PM
Pretty funny. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 11, 2014, 11:11:18 PM
Good place to hold the smartphone.
Just turn on the right app, plug in the headset and rock :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 12, 2014, 09:08:13 AM
If anyone still has a cassette deck! that's about all it's good for now days :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on March 12, 2014, 09:24:36 AM
My car is a '94 Saturn and it has a cassette player that still works.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 12, 2014, 09:32:09 AM
My car is a '94 Saturn and it has a cassette player that still works.
And you still have cassettes  :o I haven't seen a cassette for at least 15-20 years.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on March 12, 2014, 10:04:05 AM
My car is a '94 Saturn and it has a cassette player that still works.
And you still have cassettes  :o I haven't seen a cassette for at least 15-20 years.

Well, I (too) have a huge collection and have cassette players in two of my cars.
I've to admit that I just love this old low tech stuff... 8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 12, 2014, 10:36:32 AM
i still have two VHS players and some tapes.....
used to tape from one channel when looking on another, but now i have a cabletv box with internal HDrive so not used anymore
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 12, 2014, 11:03:40 AM
Well, I (too) have a huge collection and have cassette players in two of my cars.
I've to admit that I just love this old low tech stuff... 8)
I don't even have a cd player in my cars, it's all WiFi - Bluetooth and USB nowdays.

I bought a couple of cassettes back when I was 12 but the sound quality was terrible compared to my records so the cassette era was skipped for me until cd's came about, I've still got hundreds of records and cd's sitting in a draw that'll never see the light of day again either but at least they have all been transferred to HDD so I can still listen to them throughout the house or cars.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 12, 2014, 11:14:23 AM
suppose to be better quality the mp3

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pono_(audio_format)

see video   http://www.ponomusic.com/#message

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1003614822/ponomusic-where-your-soul-rediscovers-music
http://time.com/18027/neil-youngs-high-fidelity-pono-music-player-is-still-coming-and-itll-cost-399/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 12, 2014, 02:19:03 PM
At 39000 feet, only MP3s' work
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on March 12, 2014, 05:48:31 PM
This is what i got as an erroor message on Youtube a few minutes ago, they seem to have server issues.

500 Internal Server Error

Sorry, something went wrong.

A team of highly trained monkeys has been dispatched to deal with this situation.

If you see them, show them this information:
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EAMZeKUx7TGnM2UlOREyFnDAB-C2N9ICVpZn2rJqVLmznOzbR-BC_hsWlCga
g7w0dYya9XcEqlkusVSO7BfCFe9Z1fYhttV_u4WXiHn6Iz-pEpgkSTJjAzTc
3oQ0jD8HNMVQ6DfvPtArlBlTECfK4ASDQNkv7bdiaC72gjnA52GOzz4SZc_p
VgQ-CKWQKYY8yltDhGdmMzfYlCX-5JhyDHDsi4PIbQqxblyAZXIxB1sU8DA1
qtXZzJbHboeo_AyRWovykHna_ztrea0QDyR83oFaOI2vyjfnS3nL_SPxn0J4
H1_hXjicnsOffKZJv8Sw2LjIn35xu5HoTzD6ByEjmTHkmFEWMIqKY3ThOs3E
PLV6nzZZr00J6nM6KWveQ4kt3JHQxzOxb_gRAbfv_ZyW7Dz70meaVSludX5R
pQAUchJRhIakK_EoeMhGUjSuBs2zUFXARO4DwtSYQGtCbOgo9PMTzBJiKVsi
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Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on March 12, 2014, 06:47:22 PM
I have two VCR's a few boomboxes with cassette decks.
Don't watch video tapes and don't like the tape hiss of cassettes.
I have two bookshelf stereos which will play music from a flash drive...the quality
isn't that great using MP3 format. I use CD-RW's for better sound.
A CD-RW can be used many times over. No, I don't have an iPod.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Cast on March 12, 2014, 07:03:22 PM
Substitue Teacher!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd7FixvoKBw&feature=youtube_gdata_player
It has language if that offends you but it was very funny to watch!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 12, 2014, 07:43:00 PM

Biblical Origin of the Internet

 

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader called "Abraham of Com" did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.   And "Dot of Com" was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. 

 

Indeed, she had often been called "Amazon Dot Com".  And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

 



And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a Dromedary load, but simply said, "How might I do that my dear?" 


And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price.  And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

 



Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.  And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. 

 

Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

 


But this success did arouse envy.  A man named Maccabia did secrete (look it up, it means to hide) himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. 

 

And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to Dromedary dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

 



And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. 

 

And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

 



And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others".

 


And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or as it came to be known 'eBay' he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are".

   



And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators".  'YAHOO!' exclaimed Abraham.

 



And that is how it all began.   
 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on March 12, 2014, 09:14:44 PM
My car is a '94 Saturn and it has a cassette player that still works.
And you still have cassettes  :o I haven't seen a cassette for at least 15-20 years.
Yes I have cassettes and my stereo can convert CD's to cassettes.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 12, 2014, 09:29:07 PM
Yes I have cassettes and my stereo can convert CD's to cassettes.
Why would anyone want to do that ??? you loose so much audio quality, I don't see the point in going backwards.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 13, 2014, 11:49:18 AM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1394707653420-48075.png)
Since I'm currently in Florida, I can attest to the accuracy of this little notice!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on March 13, 2014, 03:30:21 PM
Yes I have cassettes and my stereo can convert CD's to cassettes.
Why would anyone want to do that ??? you loose so much audio quality, I don't see the point in going backwards.
So you can have the music in your car which only has a cassette player. I actually don't notice a difference in quality on the stereo between the CD and a freshly recorded cassette. As cassettes age, they lose some treble response due to residual magnetism on the tape head but that's not really much of an issue on a car stereo where you turn the treble down anyway.

You talk about going backwards. You know of course that many people have moved back to vinyl records because they consider them superior to CD's.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 13, 2014, 05:13:36 PM
You talk about going backwards. You know of course that many people have moved back to vinyl records because they consider them superior to CD's.
The old purists maybe revert or stay with LP's but I certainly wouldn't switch back, there are many improvements in sound quality on cd's if they are good productions but unless you have a good ear and good sound equipment then your not going to hear the benefits anyway.

My grandfather thought his old gramophone sounded better than any of the modern stuff today but he also had 70% hearing loss :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 13, 2014, 05:28:50 PM
Like this   ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 13, 2014, 05:38:09 PM
Like this   ;)
Yep that's the one, try fitting that in your car dash ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 13, 2014, 05:55:18 PM
I didn't realize this was a discussion thread ??? :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 13, 2014, 06:05:50 PM
I didn't realize this was a discussion thread ??? :)
It isn't, it's the so funny I had to post topic but I see a lot of posts here that don't qualify as funny either ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on March 13, 2014, 06:16:59 PM
I didn't realize this was a discussion thread ??? :)

Might not be funny but we sure are having fun.  ;D
Besides we don't have any other "off topic" board.

I can't resist...Bob, do you remember the old gramophone?  ;D ;) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 13, 2014, 07:12:06 PM
I didn't realize this was a discussion thread ??? :)

Might not be funny but we sure are having fun.  ;D
Besides we don't have any other "off topic" board.

I can't resist...Bob, do you remember the old gramophone?  ;D ;) ;D
Off Topic in the Off Topic thread: Yes, I've even used my grandfathers a long time ago. :)
Always reminded me of a megaphone or, a hearing aide.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on March 13, 2014, 07:35:34 PM
I was trying to be a smart a##.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 13, 2014, 07:59:31 PM
I was trying to be a smart a##.
I know. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 13, 2014, 08:29:55 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1394707653420-48075.png)
Since I'm currently in Florida, I can attest to the accuracy of this little notice!
I just saw this in a notice I received from cracked.com
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1394738576546-61184.png)
I liked the original post about Florida a lot more.
I certainly haven't come to Florida for that event.
I have Presentations on my mind:
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1394738950134-76761.png)



Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 13, 2014, 08:56:18 PM
you like the new BBC series with Sherlock Holmes?

Here is a Parody from BBBC   ;D   http://www.vg.no/rampelys/artikkel.php?artid=10137976

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on March 14, 2014, 04:20:11 AM
You talk about going backwards. You know of course that many people have moved back to vinyl records because they consider them superior to CD's.
The old purists maybe revert or stay with LP's but I certainly wouldn't switch back, there are many improvements in sound quality on cd's if they are good productions but unless you have a good ear and good sound equipment then your not going to hear the benefits anyway.

My grandfather thought his old gramophone sounded better than any of the modern stuff today but he also had 70% hearing loss :)
They are going back to vinyl because it has been shown (with the right equipment) to have superior sound quality over CD or any digital means of recording. It has nothing to do with being a purist.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 14, 2014, 09:40:01 AM
They are going back to vinyl because it has been shown (with the right equipment) to have superior sound quality over CD or any digital means of recording. It has nothing to do with being a purist.
I have the right equipment ( Bergmann Audio Sleipner turntable/ Yamaha RX-A3010 9.2 Channel Receiver/ Bower & Wilkins 800 Series Diamond Speakers ) and I can tell you now that some LP's may be good but not as good as well produced cds and that's comparing with quadraphonic albums, straight off the bat cd's don't produce static which is quite obvious when listening to LP's.

I think we've gone on about this for long enough now and need to get back to the funnies :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on March 14, 2014, 11:28:16 AM
My last post on this subject. Read the article at http://electronics.howstuffworks.com/question487.htm

CD's have the advantage of not wearing and producing static like records do but for pure reproduction quality, a new vinyl record appears to be the best.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 14, 2014, 01:15:36 PM
My last post on this subject. Read the article at http://electronics.howstuffworks.com/question487.htm
There are enough arguments going on in the comments of that webpage, lets leave it there :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 15, 2014, 12:43:29 AM
Not sure what section this should be in....new software or funny....it is both

At last a honest weather app   Authentic Weather

be warned -midnight this is not for you so dont click this link    ;D    http://authenticweather.com

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 15, 2014, 06:31:42 AM
Midnight has you blocked Pondus so she wont even see your posts ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 15, 2014, 11:06:48 AM
Midnight has you blocked Pondus so she wont even see your posts ;)
:'(          ;D

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 15, 2014, 11:29:40 AM
Three year old arguing with his mother      ;D
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=seM2wby6QmQ

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 15, 2014, 11:50:16 AM
Smart invention
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WjX7PGFPdiM
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_JkxQhJs6U
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XPQxBUqgits

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on March 16, 2014, 01:47:29 AM
Not sure what section this should be in....new software or funny....it is both

At last a honest weather app   Authentic Weather

be warned -midnight this is not for you so dont click this link    ;D    http://authenticweather.com
Cute!  lol  Too bad most of the app's features are directed at mobile devices -- I'm probably the last person in the universe without one.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 16, 2014, 01:07:41 PM
All you married one have probably experinced the wife buying all these scented candles......

Well here is the man version      Stinky Candles   ;D    http://stinkycandlecompany.com

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 20, 2014, 11:00:04 AM
Today it's Google's turn. Two very short videos
http://youtu.be/UqLkJkK1CSo (http://youtu.be/UqLkJkK1CSo) Spring has Sprung
http://youtu.be/7T5fhv8qBMw (http://youtu.be/7T5fhv8qBMw) Up Up
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on March 20, 2014, 04:49:28 PM
All you married one have probably experinced the wife buying all these scented candles......

Well here is the man version      Stinky Candles   ;D    http://stinkycandlecompany.com
Those things always make me choke. I can't stand them.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 21, 2014, 09:34:03 AM
Click for free screen cleaning http://www.formation-massage-stage.fr/outils/nettoyeurecran/cleanscreen.swf
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 21, 2014, 09:35:33 AM
Click for free screen cleaning http://www.formation-massage-stage.fr/outils/nettoyeurecran/cleanscreen.swf
;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 21, 2014, 10:13:55 AM
Home alone   ;D

Who Knew Dogs Could Fly  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRkHhIeovsU

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on March 21, 2014, 11:43:14 AM
Click for free screen cleaning http://www.formation-massage-stage.fr/outils/nettoyeurecran/cleanscreen.swf

I'm certain I have seen this before, I think Bob posted it, but its still good.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 21, 2014, 12:32:20 PM
I'm certain I have seen this before, I think Bob posted it, but its still good.
Yes it's done to rounds before, I received it today in an email so it ended up here "again" :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 21, 2014, 12:46:40 PM
Click for free screen cleaning http://www.formation-massage-stage.fr/outils/nettoyeurecran/cleanscreen.swf (http://www.formation-massage-stage.fr/outils/nettoyeurecran/cleanscreen.swf)

I'm certain I have seen this before, I think Bob posted it, but its still good.
Quite a few yeas ago in the official Off-Topic section. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on March 21, 2014, 09:09:26 PM
Surgeon Simulator CORRIDOR SURGERY on iPad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_7bqEtdi7s&list=UU7_YxT-KID8kRbqZo7MyscQ
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on March 21, 2014, 11:17:23 PM
I was going through some old books and found an old paperback with some real classified ads.

For Sale: 1985 Camaro, red, 68,00 miles runs good. Needs engine.

Men wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be able to travel.

For Sale: Parachute, never opened, used once.

"Stock up and save. Limit one"

Three year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Found: Scraggly white dog. Looks like a rat. There better be a reward.

Dinner Special
Turkey     $2.35
Chicken   $2.25
Children  $2.00
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on March 22, 2014, 01:08:13 AM
I like children, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on March 22, 2014, 06:09:07 PM
There are invasions, then there are invasions...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNVcSIZyBuE
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on March 22, 2014, 06:43:36 PM
I was going through some old books and found an old paperback with some real classified ads.

For Sale: 1985 Camaro, red, 68,00 miles runs good. Needs engine.

Men wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be able to travel.

For Sale: Parachute, never opened, used once.

"Stock up and save. Limit one"

Three year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Found: Scraggly white dog. Looks like a rat. There better be a reward.

Dinner Special
Turkey     $2.35
Chicken   $2.25
Children  $2.00
There are more:

Plastic surgeon's ad----- Come in and pick your nose
Car repair shop---------Let us work on your car just one time and you'll never go anywhere else again
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on March 26, 2014, 02:49:16 PM
A lot of luggage..................... ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 27, 2014, 12:38:34 AM
Cops: Man Robs Same NJ Store He Robbed 15 Years Earlier On Day After Release From Prison     ::)

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2014/03/25/cop-man-robs-same-nj-store-he-robbed-15-years-earlier-on-day-after-release-from-prison/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on March 29, 2014, 12:27:16 AM
Is there any use for this sign?

pol
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on March 29, 2014, 12:30:37 AM
No, as it says.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 29, 2014, 12:38:28 AM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1396049891388-86430.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 31, 2014, 02:25:39 PM
Front wheel drive only     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaM-xXgl4Bs


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on March 31, 2014, 02:33:48 PM
Front wheel drive only     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaM-xXgl4Bs

I had seen a clip of this before, but it wasn't so long, what an amazing dog, the handstand (figurative) at the end blew me away.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 31, 2014, 02:41:03 PM
here is one with rear wheel drive only  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7f1ovurzU2s


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 31, 2014, 04:21:11 PM
Unbelievable, It's amazing how those dogs have adapted 8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on April 03, 2014, 12:31:13 AM
Don't try these at work http://www.infoworld.com/slideshow/146350/16-terrible-computer-pranks-could-get-you-fired-239254#slide1
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Eddy on April 03, 2014, 02:45:01 PM
I just got back from a little walk in the sun and underway I saw this.
I wonder for what kind of bird that food is...
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on April 03, 2014, 03:53:01 PM
I just got back from a little walk in the sun and underway I saw this.
I wonder for what kind of bird that food is...
Maybe for our local Cuckoo ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on April 06, 2014, 05:27:18 PM
The NSA (No Secrecy Afforded) Certificate Extension
http://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc7169
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 07, 2014, 03:18:16 PM
           A commercial worth watching (http://youtu.be/pfxB5ut-KTs)
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1396876536843-34073.png) (http://youtu.be/pfxB5ut-KTs)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on April 08, 2014, 02:28:44 AM
Cute, Bob.  ;D And not a hint (unless I missed it), till the very end, as to what's being advertised.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on April 08, 2014, 04:05:11 PM
Sorry about the double post...but it's so funny.

http://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=147567.msg1080044#msg1080044
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on April 11, 2014, 08:43:49 PM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on April 13, 2014, 08:57:42 PM
Live piip show.   ;D     


http://www.nrk.no/video/piip_show_fuglekasse_24/4B5CF8A10348096A/emne/piipshow/

about, in English.    http://www.nrk.no/piipshow/about-the-piip-show-1.11575642


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 15, 2014, 10:23:54 PM

We recently came back from a trip to Dallas. I had a presentation to do and we got to spend a few days with some very good friends.
Alice was able to cook on of the days we stayed with Daryl and Liz Crouch.
Their daughter Jodi Samantha Williams seemed to like the food but didn't want to get the serving spoon dirty. See for yourself:
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1397593353429-30798.png) (http://youtu.be/zfz_KLTX6NY)
http://youtu.be/zfz_KLTX6NY (http://youtu.be/zfz_KLTX6NY)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on April 17, 2014, 12:45:40 AM
Jurassic Park OS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ai-m6PTe3L0&list=UUVTlmFfclZsEj_Wo5P_3YRQ
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on April 20, 2014, 12:00:30 PM
not funny.....

if you live in the US, dont lend your car to anyone    http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/04/us/04felony.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

what if they had used a rental car ?



Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on April 20, 2014, 09:47:52 PM
Ouch......................
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on April 20, 2014, 10:32:50 PM
woooo...that will hurt 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on April 20, 2014, 10:39:25 PM
How can you get out there? ::)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on April 20, 2014, 10:46:47 PM
maybe it is not what you think ..... but a scaffold on weels    ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on April 21, 2014, 12:09:57 AM
I doubt that little car could even move it.
I could be wrong...it's been known to happen...more than I want to admit.  :-[
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: AdrianH on April 21, 2014, 08:35:39 AM
Audi A3  Steptronic model
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Charyb on April 21, 2014, 11:54:52 PM
I made it!

Funny video about being a kid in the 50's, 60's, 70's and early 80's.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jitw0tZsEm0
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 22, 2014, 12:21:59 AM
I made it!

Funny video about being a kid in the 50's, 60's, 70's and early 80's.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jitw0tZsEm0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jitw0tZsEm0)
I go back to 1940 but can relate to everything in this video.
I also made it!!!!! :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on April 22, 2014, 12:41:56 AM
I made it!

Funny video about being a kid in the 50's, 60's, 70's and early 80's.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jitw0tZsEm0

I made it too ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on April 22, 2014, 02:09:05 AM
Good times. ;D ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 22, 2014, 03:21:13 PM

(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1398172469423-35710.png)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJOKDCnn1bY (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJOKDCnn1bY)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on April 22, 2014, 05:37:28 PM
I made it!

Funny video about being a kid in the 50's, 60's, 70's and early 80's.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jitw0tZsEm0

I may be a little late to this post...but I remember when...and I made it.
That video brought back some fond memories.  8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on April 22, 2014, 05:40:32 PM
@ Bob  Both cool and humorous.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on April 22, 2014, 06:53:49 PM
Pokémon Anime - NOW TURN BASED (Pokémon Parody)

A good animation actually :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugfBOBJKUKc
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on April 23, 2014, 07:47:05 PM
An oldie but still a goody!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qqE_WmagjY
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Charyb on April 25, 2014, 08:19:07 PM
It's funny. Watch the whole video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNM0ENUCO5I
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on April 25, 2014, 09:31:46 PM
Funny? Yes.  Both have good voices to boot.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 28, 2014, 10:27:31 PM
I cam across the following on Google+
(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-gd1SFN679Pc/U1yXWXVYXFI/AAAAAAAAAeA/QC98yjUzlQI/w346-h353/Mindblown.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 03, 2014, 04:54:23 AM
The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS.

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.

The shopkeeper panicked until he got an idea!

He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop - it read... MAIN ENTRANCE
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 03, 2014, 05:04:34 AM
During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the director, we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.

"Oh I understand," said the visitor, A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.

"No," said the director, A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed by the wall or near the window?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: RealNature on May 03, 2014, 08:55:40 AM
It's funny. Watch the whole video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNM0ENUCO5I
Nice love it ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 03, 2014, 12:29:55 PM
     Spotted in a yard in Big Bear Lake, CA (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20111007-ruqr-87kb.jpg)
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1399112512494-98301.png)
I can thank Avast for the opportunity to take this picture.
It is only because I travel to these nice places to do Security Presentations on behalf
of Avast that made taking this picture possible.
The owner of this property does use avast! to keep their computer safe. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on May 03, 2014, 03:55:08 PM
That's one place I won't walk my dog.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 03, 2014, 03:57:47 PM


     Spotted in a yard in Big Bear Lake, CA (http://my.jetscreenshot.com/2701/m_20111007-ruqr-87kb.jpg)
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1399112512494-98301.png)
I can thank Avast for the opportunity to take this picture.
It is only because I travel to these nice places to do Security Presentations on behalf
of Avast that made taking this picture possible.
The owner of this property does use avast! to keep their computer safe. :)
That's one place I won't walk my dog.  ;D
Walking is OK. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 03, 2014, 06:45:47 PM
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem.

While they were there, the wife passed away.

The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 03, 2014, 06:47:39 PM
My girlfriend has been leaving her bridal guide magazine laying around the house. It took me a little longer than I'd like to admit but I finally got what she was hinting at.

Amazon is shipping a super nice magazine rack in tomorrow, and I just know she'll be thrilled. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: AdrianH on May 03, 2014, 07:41:22 PM
(http://s26.postimg.org/7weexog0p/Hnxc5_OXDt_X0.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 04, 2014, 01:41:20 AM

(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1399160438003-79875.png)


Ball Point Pens:                      
When NASA started sending astronauts into space,                               
They quickly discovered that ball-point pens would                                     
Not work in zero gravity.                         
To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a                                   
Decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes                                     
In zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface                                     
Including glass and at temperatures ranging from                                   
Below freezing to over 300 C.                       
The Russians used a pencil.                                               
Your taxes are due again--enjoy paying them. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on May 04, 2014, 10:32:56 PM
Traffic in etiopia    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hVLaYHNpS7M

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on May 05, 2014, 10:42:39 AM
OK.  But watch the pedestrians walk through the maze; no yielding to their right-of-way by drivers either.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 07, 2014, 11:39:31 AM
Only in America  http://www.skynews.com.au/news/offbeat/2014/05/07/man-s-court-battle-to-marry-his-laptop.html
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on May 08, 2014, 03:01:05 PM
Only in America  http://www.skynews.com.au/news/offbeat/2014/05/07/man-s-court-battle-to-marry-his-laptop.html

We have some real doozies here. ::) :P ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 08, 2014, 03:43:09 PM
Since Marriage is no longer just between a Man and a Woman,
why can't you marry your Computer or anything else for that matter ???
This can be considered either freedom or, a slippery slope. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 08, 2014, 05:05:30 PM
Since Marriage is no longer just between a Man and a Woman,
why can't you marry your Computer or anything else for that matter ???
This can be considered either freedom or, a slippery slope. :)
Personally I think the views on freedom should be retracted back just far enough to bring ethics and morality out of the mud at the bottom of that slippery slope, every time one more of these freaks gets their very strange views and fetishes past in some court the further we slip away from decent human beings.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 08, 2014, 05:18:37 PM
Since Marriage is no longer just between a Man and a Woman,
why can't you marry your Computer or anything else for that matter ???
This can be considered either freedom or, a slippery slope. :)
Personally I think the views on freedom should be retracted back just far enough to bring ethics and morality out of the mud at the bottom of that slippery slope, every time one more of these freaks gets their very strange views and fetishes past in some court the further we slip away from decent human beings.
As someone who's been married to the same woman for over 54 years, my views are self evident.
Anything else I may say will only get me into trouble with not being "politically correct". :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on May 08, 2014, 06:22:04 PM
A few years ago some nitwit wanted to marry a donkey...really.
Yes, sadly, he was an American too.

It's great to be an American.  ;D ::) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on May 08, 2014, 07:23:50 PM
Since Marriage is no longer just between a Man and a Woman,
It still is in many places. Thank God.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: FreewheelinFrank on May 08, 2014, 11:16:06 PM

(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1399160438003-79875.png)


Ball Point Pens:                      
When NASA started sending astronauts into space,                               
They quickly discovered that ball-point pens would                                     
Not work in zero gravity.                         
To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a                                   
Decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes                                     
In zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface                                     
Including glass and at temperatures ranging from                                   
Below freezing to over 300 C.                       
The Russians used a pencil.                                               
Your taxes are due again--enjoy paying them. :)

It's a myth:

http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/spacepen.asp
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on May 09, 2014, 12:58:55 AM
Myth or not, it's still a commentary on how governments waste money on things and it's funny. It's like the infamous hammer and toilet seat incidences.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Simion on May 09, 2014, 02:36:56 AM
A few years ago some nitwit wanted to marry a donkey...really.
Yes, sadly, he was an American too.

It's great to be an American.  ;D ::) ;D

Could this be the same man? I hope there aren't two. :-\

Carlos Romero Donkey Sex (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tag/carlos-romero-donkey-sex)

PS: The donkey's name is Doodle.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: FreewheelinFrank on May 09, 2014, 07:11:33 AM
Myth or not, it's still a commentary on how governments waste money on things and it's funny. It's like the infamous hammer and toilet seat incidences.

Er, how is it "a commentary on how governments waste money" if it's *not true*?

(http://i.stack.imgur.com/jiFfM.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: FreewheelinFrank on May 09, 2014, 07:21:18 AM
Myth or not, it's still a commentary on how governments waste money on things and it's funny. It's like the infamous hammer and toilet seat incidences.

It's more a commentary on how governments don't waste money but how idiots like you will repeat stories like this even when they aren't true because they fit your idea of what you would like to believe is true, now isn't it really?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on May 09, 2014, 08:01:36 AM
effective wood chopping    ;)       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5WO9nulOXc



Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 09, 2014, 08:10:11 AM
effective wood chopping    ;)       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5WO9nulOXc
Aussie made and proud ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on May 09, 2014, 08:19:46 AM
effective wood chopping    ;)       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5WO9nulOXc
Aussie made and proud ;D
you need one like that in your backyard    ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 09, 2014, 08:32:59 AM
effective wood chopping    ;)       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5WO9nulOXc
Aussie made and proud ;D
you need one like that in your backyard    ;D
I could, I have a few of those engines sitting around for spare parts, I've got a spare 510ci sitting here to ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on May 09, 2014, 02:13:27 PM
A few years ago some nitwit wanted to marry a donkey...really.
Yes, sadly, he was an American too.

It's great to be an American.  ;D ::) ;D

Could this be the same man? I hope there aren't two. :-\

Carlos Romero Donkey Sex (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tag/carlos-romero-donkey-sex)

PS: The donkey's name is Doodle.

So he was diddling doodle then.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 09, 2014, 06:51:47 PM
Myth or not, it's still a commentary on how governments waste money on things and it's funny. It's like the infamous hammer and toilet seat incidences.

It's more a commentary on how governments don't waste money but how idiots like you will repeat stories like this even when they aren't true because they fit your idea of what you would like to believe is true, now isn't it really?
Are some people forgetting the topic of this thread ???
I highly doubt that anything posted in here needs to be run through Snops.
Items in here aren't guaranteed to be factual. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 09, 2014, 06:54:21 PM


HATE it when this happens!
 
A man from Kuala Lumpur tells his wife that he has a business appointment in Beijing for the weekend.
 
He informs her that he will fly on Malaysia Airlines flight MH370.
 
Now ......... He's been stuck for 5 weeks in his girlfriend’s house and doesn't have the faintest idea how to go home ...
(Not verified in Snopes... :) )
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: FreewheelinFrank on May 09, 2014, 08:57:07 PM


HATE it when this happens!
 
A man from Kuala Lumpur tells his wife that he has a business appointment in Beijing for the weekend.
 
He informs her that he will fly on Malaysia Airlines flight MH370.
 
Now ......... He's been stuck for 5 weeks in his girlfriend’s house and doesn't have the faintest idea how to go home ...
(Not verified in Snopes... :) )

http://www.snopes.com/rumors/adultery.asp
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 09, 2014, 09:06:36 PM


HATE it when this happens!
 
A man from Kuala Lumpur tells his wife that he has a business appointment in Beijing for the weekend.
 
He informs her that he will fly on Malaysia Airlines flight MH370.
 
Now ......... He's been stuck for 5 weeks in his girlfriend’s house and doesn't have the faintest idea how to go home ...
(Not verified in Snopes... :) )

http://www.snopes.com/rumors/adultery.asp (http://www.snopes.com/rumors/adultery.asp)
Happy to find out that I'm keeping you busy. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Simion on May 09, 2014, 11:24:29 PM
<snip>
So he was diddling doodle then.

LMBO  ;D  BTW, Doodle is a miniature donkey. ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on May 10, 2014, 08:16:57 PM
Myth or not, it's still a commentary on how governments waste money on things and it's funny. It's like the infamous hammer and toilet seat incidences.

It's more a commentary on how governments don't waste money but how idiots like you will repeat stories like this even when they aren't true because they fit your idea of what you would like to believe is true, now isn't it really?
And your posts are a running commentary on how rude, confrontational, and full of self importance you are. Nobody but Frank has a valid opinion on anything. I'm sick of it and I can't be the only one.

  It is a commentary on Governments wasting money even if not entirely factual because events just like it have happened in the past and are the reason why people would tend to believe the story.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: FreewheelinFrank on May 10, 2014, 11:10:48 PM
Myth or not, it's still a commentary on how governments waste money on things and it's funny. It's like the infamous hammer and toilet seat incidences.

It's more a commentary on how governments don't waste money but how idiots like you will repeat stories like this even when they aren't true because they fit your idea of what you would like to believe is true, now isn't it really?
And your posts are a running commentary on how rude, confrontational, and full of self importance you are. Nobody but Frank has a valid opinion on anything. I'm sick of it and I can't be the only one.

  It is a commentary on Governments wasting money even if not entirely factual because events just like it have happened in the past and are the reason why people would tend to believe the story.

It's called confirmation bias:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias

It's a way of deceiving yourself.

You may not like being confronted on it.

Tough tit.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 11, 2014, 12:12:12 AM
Making sure that facts are correct when what's being posted requires accuracy is very important.
Receiving a notice to correct any errors in such a post is certainly expected and appreciated. :)
The facts, nothing but the facts!


In this thread, humor is important and facts are secondary.
The jokes, nothing but the jokes! :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on May 11, 2014, 01:09:22 AM
Making sure that facts are correct when what's being posted requires accuracy is very important.
Receiving a notice to correct any errors in such a post is certainly expected and appreciated. :)
The facts, nothing but the facts!


In this thread, humor is important and facts are secondary.
The jokes, nothing but the jokes! :)
Exactly. If it had been presented by Jimmy Fallon, as a joke, it would be funny because as I said, things like it have actually happened before. Seeing that it was posted in a thread dedicated to humor, it's truthfulness really doesn't matter.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on May 11, 2014, 01:14:32 AM
True or not I bet some of us old school bought those Papermate pens that were used by the astronauts. Do you remember those ?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 14, 2014, 07:42:39 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1400088873102-37494.png)
I have a few substitutions that I use in my alphabet:
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1400089097844-37907.png) a for avast!
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1400089250489-35689.png) a for avast! SecureLine


 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 14, 2014, 08:22:38 PM
A Redneck Love Poem

Susie Lee done fell in love,
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy 'bout it all,
She told her pappy so.

Pappy told her, Susie gal,
You'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon yo' ma don't know,
But Joe is yo' half brother.

So Susie put aside her Joe
and planned to marry Will.
But after telling pappy this,
he said, 'there's trouble still'.

You can't marry Will my gal,
and please don't tell yo' mother.
But Will and Joe, and several mo'
I know is yo' half brother.

But mama knew and said, my child,
Just do what makes yo' happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe;
You ain't no kin to pappy.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on May 15, 2014, 11:13:59 AM
saved from dog attack ...... Who need a guard dog when you have SuperCat    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-Opm9b2WDk

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 15, 2014, 12:28:53 PM
That dog is in need of euthanizing, totally unprovoked attack :o

Cat needs a medal 8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: AdrianH on May 15, 2014, 01:36:56 PM
That dog is in need of euthanizing, totally unprovoked attack :o



In the UK, the dog would be seized by police and put to sleep, the owner would get a prison sentence.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 15, 2014, 01:55:41 PM
That dog is in need of euthanizing, totally unprovoked attack :o



In the UK, the dog would be seized by police and put to sleep, the owner would get a prison sentence.
Same in Australia though a prison sentence would depend on the responsibility of the owner and whether he knowingly let the dog out to roam.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on May 15, 2014, 03:54:33 PM
Same here in my town. They "put down" the dog and the owner(s) get a fine and or jail time.

That is one protective cat.  8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on May 15, 2014, 06:43:24 PM
Bad Kangaroo    ;D    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81szj1vpEu8

watch to the end .... the golf player is realy funny   

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 15, 2014, 06:56:41 PM
Bad Kangaroo    ;D    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81szj1vpEu8

watch to the end .... the golf player is realy funny
The golf player part I've seen somewhere before!!! see 55 seconds in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVjk5f82nIg
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on May 16, 2014, 07:49:33 PM
Sometimes you need prioritys :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on June 16, 2014, 02:56:08 PM
Replacing the fan belt in 5 seconds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYI8fygcozQ

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on June 16, 2014, 03:56:25 PM
May not be funny...but they are pretty cool.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psvkyf3PzjE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKxnnKLn9Hc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8l9HgqPqsk4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED7awYuxe0I
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 16, 2014, 04:03:11 PM
If they aren't funny, then they don't belong in the Funny topic. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on June 16, 2014, 07:09:31 PM
If they aren't funny, then they don't belong in the Funny topic. :)

There is not a "not funny but cool" topic.  :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on June 16, 2014, 08:37:35 PM
To be Irish

"Your glass is empty O'Flaherty, will you be having another?"


"And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?" replied O'Flaherty.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on June 16, 2014, 08:38:36 PM
At The Races

Some race horses staying in a stable.

One of them starts to boast about his track record.

"In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"

Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!"

"Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another, flicking his tail.

At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening.

"I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"

The horses are clearly amazed.

"Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence.

"A talking dog."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on June 16, 2014, 08:41:15 PM
Missing Wife

A husband went to the police station to file a "missing person" report for his missing wife:

Husband :-I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.

Inspector :-What is her height?
Husband :-I never checked.

Inspector :-Slim or healthy?
Husband :-Not slim, can be healthy.

Inspector :-Color of eyes?
Husband :-Never noticed.

Inspector :-Color of hair?
Husband :-Changes according to season.

Inspector :-What was she wearing?
Husband :-Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.

Inspector :-Was she driving?
Husband :-yes.

Inspector :-Colour of the car? . . . . .

Husband :-black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door ............. and then the husband started crying …

Inspector:-Don't worry sir, .....We will find your car.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 19, 2014, 01:52:43 PM
Swimming Pool for those on a fixed income.
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1403178660506-55120.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 19, 2014, 01:56:57 PM
Refurbished for Seniors
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1403178965091-6619.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on June 19, 2014, 09:39:03 PM
Impossible Let's Play: ICE BATH CHALLENGE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwkEPehMcS4&list=UU7_YxT-KID8kRbqZo7MyscQ

RIP Marks iPad
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 24, 2014, 12:57:46 PM

An Irishman and a Mercedes...
 
On a golf tour in Ireland,Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
The pump attendant, who knows absolutely nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
"Top of the mornin’ toyer, sir," says the attendant.
 
Tiger nods a quick ‘hello’ and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?" asks the attendant.
"They're called tees," replies Tiger. 
"Well, what on this God's earth are they for?" inquires the Irishman. 
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving," says Tiger
 
"Jaysus," says the Irishman, "Mercedes tinks of everything!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on June 24, 2014, 04:37:38 PM
Mashed potato in Yorkshire   ;D
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/mashed-potato-spillage-closes-yorkshire-road-for-five-hours-9554812.html

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on June 25, 2014, 01:32:50 AM
There's any number of places here in the forums that I could have posted this, but after some reflection, based on my original reaction to it, I decided here was probably most appropriate.

My usual morning routine is to check email, then visit my ISP's spam quarantine to see if there's anything that actually requires attention.  This morning, there was one with the subject-title "Hi, I'm your new family physician".  My family doc is getting on in years, so I figured it was worth a look.  Turned out to be ordinary spam (for online prescriptions), sent from a .net.in domain ... and I couldn't help thinking wow, cab fares are gonna get a lot more expensive.  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on June 25, 2014, 03:09:49 AM
Cooper Loves Ice Cream
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHvExOg4NI0
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on June 25, 2014, 11:10:23 PM
Luis  "Dracula"  Suarez

Pictures say it all
http://www.aftenposten.no/100Sport/mesterskap/Twitter-flommer-over-av-Suarez-vitser-443934_1.snd#.U6s5F-GhzbU


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: giogio on June 26, 2014, 10:02:03 PM
Luis  "Dracula"  Suarez

Pictures say it all
http://www.aftenposten.no/100Sport/mesterskap/Twitter-flommer-over-av-Suarez-vitser-443934_1.snd#.U6s5F-GhzbU

 ;D

(http://finedininglovers-it.cdn.crosscast-system.com/ImageAlbum/3183/original_chiellini-suarez-italian-food.jpg)

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bq9zGinCQAEHfTg.png:large)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on June 27, 2014, 10:31:02 PM
The perfect facebook life
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QxVZYiJKl1Y


Tricky landing    http://www.cnet.com/news/harrier-jet-loses-front-landing-gear-lands-on-stool/

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on June 28, 2014, 05:28:05 PM
A Week in the Life of a Pen Tester
http://www.bishopfox.com/blog/2014/06/week-life-pen-tester/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on July 11, 2014, 06:43:20 PM
Stephen Spielberg killed a Triceratops?

seems it was already dead ..... some time ago   ;D
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2688463/Steven-Spielberg-Im-disappointed-Online-uproar-photo-famous-movie-director-posing-triceratops-just-slaughtered.html#ixzz379PoKX00



Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on July 13, 2014, 09:47:18 PM
seems North Korea is on its way to win fotball VM   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJoRZOK18Fg

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on July 13, 2014, 09:56:41 PM
seems North Korea is on its way to win fotball VM   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJoRZOK18Fg

Nah, they already won it according to some media news ;D

How they can hope to foll all of the people all of the time.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on July 14, 2014, 10:22:38 AM
seems North Korea is on its way to win fotball VM   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJoRZOK18Fg

Nah, they already won it according to some media news ;D

How they can hope to foll all of the people all of the time.
re the video, it's lies, %$*!  lies! and....  Not smart at all.    ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on July 14, 2014, 04:19:51 PM
seems North Korea is on its way to win fotball VM   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJoRZOK18Fg

Nah, they already won it according to some media news ;D

How they can hope to foll all of the people all of the time.
re the video, it's lies, %$*!  lies! and....  Not smart at all.    ;)

Not at all smart, but it says a lot about the man. Thinking that he/they can get away with it, with all of their internet controls in place. Those smart people are smart enough to be using a VPN.

I guess we will now see the team paraded through the Capital Pyongyang in an open top bus with a replica World Cup trophy.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on July 14, 2014, 09:37:26 PM
seems North Korea is on its way to win fotball VM   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJoRZOK18Fg

Nah, they already won it according to some media news ;D

How they can hope to foll all of the people all of the time.
re the video, it's lies, %$*!  lies! and....  Not smart at all.    ;)

Not at all smart, but it says a lot about the man. Thinking that he/they can get away with it, with all of their internet controls in place. Those smart people are smart enough to be using a VPN.

I guess we will now see the team paraded through the Capital Pyongyang in an open top bus with a replica World Cup trophy.
Original World Cup trophy was estimated to be worth over ten million dollars, as it was 75% 18K gold, stolen, recovered, and stolen once again, and never found.  So their new replica is not allowed to go home to Germany, and a fake one goes with the team instead.  The new replica stays with FIFA and is closely guarded 24/7.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on July 16, 2014, 06:40:03 AM
25 Most Ridiculous Questions On Yahoo Answers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCyfkSE_Q1Q (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCyfkSE_Q1Q)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on July 18, 2014, 01:34:27 AM
Americas Got Talent " Tastefully Offensive "
http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2014/07/84-year-old-man-surprises-americas-got.html
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on July 18, 2014, 06:42:49 AM
Americas Got Talent " Tastefully Offensive "
http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2014/07/84-year-old-man-surprises-americas-got.html

I can't stop laughing really I can't because he sound and very much look a like my grand-dad ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on July 22, 2014, 11:05:19 PM
A crosswalk in Norway makes citizens do a Monty Python silly walk
http://www.avclub.com/article/crosswalk-norway-makes-citizens-do-monty-python-si-203164

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-2598344/The-real-Ministry-Silly-Walks-Pranksters-recreate-iconic-Monty-Python-sketch-improvised-street-sign-Norwegian-town.html
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: digmor crusher on July 23, 2014, 05:09:16 AM
Americas Got Talent " Tastefully Offensive "
http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2014/07/84-year-old-man-surprises-americas-got.html

I need to be like that in 30 years.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on July 23, 2014, 07:37:21 AM
this you must have, a Selfie Toaster   ;D
http://time.com/2987868/you-can-finally-start-that-shrine-to-yourself-with-this-selfie-toaster/
http://www.latimes.com/food/dailydish/la-dd-selfie-toaster-20140716-story.html
http://mashable.com/2014/07/16/how-you-make-selfie-toast/




Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on July 26, 2014, 09:45:52 AM
Never mess with an admin...

(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/devotion_to_duty.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on July 27, 2014, 08:08:02 PM
(http://www.davescomputertips.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/satnav-system.jpg)
The Best SatNav System Ever? (http://www.davescomputertips.com/the-best-satnav-system-ever/#comment-23074)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on August 04, 2014, 08:51:57 AM
Chilli-eating comp sets eyes watering
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xJ0rxZu1T4

It's not really funny unless any one is man or woman enough to eat chilli

Check out this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBrU-KE-Yyo from Chilli Eating Contest Hertfordshire.

Check out the woman in pink eating Chilli against a group of men https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSU90LzIRCY and she didn't last long enough.

And this one is a dead goner watch the young woman in a black dress she tough enough to keep going until she gives away https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_D6S-QdRXM

WARNING contains VOMIT!!!


I love CHILLI ;D ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 05, 2014, 06:35:16 PM
Global Warming
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on August 05, 2014, 06:44:25 PM
When Linus Torvalds curses, people listen [CARTOON]
http://www.itworld.com/security/429343/when-linus-torvalds-curses-people-listen-cartoon (http://www.itworld.com/security/429343/when-linus-torvalds-curses-people-listen-cartoon)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 06, 2014, 12:06:26 PM
guaranteed laugh ...... how to stop baby crying    ;D   ;D   ;D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFyT7n2W1Wo

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on August 06, 2014, 05:52:13 PM
This is rich!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPU3Cg7LdTU
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Eddy on August 07, 2014, 02:14:31 PM
Today I received a spam mail.
Gues what?! Even spammers are using avast!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on August 07, 2014, 02:17:27 PM
LOL
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 07, 2014, 02:19:51 PM
just show that the "scanned by avast" insert note give a false sense of security

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 07, 2014, 06:03:09 PM
How to kill a spider   ;D

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/16/man-burns-down-house-spider_n_5591234.html

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on August 07, 2014, 06:13:15 PM
Hi Pondus,

This is a case of arachnophobia or fear of spiders that has completely run out of hand I assume.

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 08, 2014, 09:58:08 PM
http://blogs.uab.cat/level4josep/files/2012/05/computer-airbag.jpg
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 17, 2014, 12:57:05 PM
Is your internet slow and difficult to connect?.......this is why    ;)

Google wraps its trans-Pacific fiber cables in Kevlar to prevent against shark attacks
http://www.networkworld.com/article/2464035/cloud-computing/google-wraps-its-trans-pacific-fiber-cables-in-kevlar-to-prevent-against-shark.html
http://www.slate.com/blogs/future_tense/2014/08/15/shark_attacks_threaten_google_s_undersea_internet_cables_video.html
http://www.wired.com/2014/08/shark_cable/
http://www.nytimes.com/1987/06/11/us/phone-company-finds-sharks-cutting-in.html



Craig, you got to keep your pets in a leash    ;D



Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 18, 2014, 06:22:17 PM
Craig, you got to keep your pets in a leash    ;D
We're running out of people for them to eat, cables are the next best thing until they get to south Africa for some more tasty people ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 18, 2014, 06:23:20 PM
A PARABLE OF OUR TIMES. - SHOW THIS TO ANY LEFT LEANING LIBERAL, P.C TERRORIST, WOOLY MINDED PRAT YOU MIGHT KNOW


REST OF THE WORLD VERSION

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END

THE BRITISH VERSION

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.

The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

The rest of the British media informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The Commission for Grasshopper Equality, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Housing Commission of Britain demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Lerwick with breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".

Ed Miliband rants in an interview with a lefty media hack that the squirrel got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax rise on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter city centres.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are re-assessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders, for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a Housing Commission house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re-distributed to the more needy members of society - in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Britons' apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to make then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards.

A Newsnight special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug "Illness".

The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in Britain.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.

Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10 million and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers. Legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.

The cats are paid £1 million each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in Britain.

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order, and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.

THE END (or is it?)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 18, 2014, 07:35:33 PM
The British Version/System is very close to the truth it is frightening, the only thing left out is the EU, the Human Rights Act - Unfortunately with Rights there are no Responsibilities.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: elaine_alberts on August 18, 2014, 08:38:22 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my stomach HURTS from laughing
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 19, 2014, 08:00:09 PM
Does your car have a Pup Holder ???
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1408471074789-62880.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 19, 2014, 08:08:05 PM
That's a good pic Bob, it's amazing where they'll sleep when exhausted :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 19, 2014, 08:28:28 PM
That's a good pic Bob, it's amazing where they'll sleep when exhausted<$1alt="" title="" onresizestart="return false;" id="smiley__$2" style="padding: 0 3px 0 3px;" />
Pups and babies are pretty much alike. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 19, 2014, 08:33:43 PM
Very true - eat/crap/sleep ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on August 19, 2014, 08:48:10 PM
The British Version/System is very close to the truth it is frightening, the only thing left out is the EU, the Human Rights Act - Unfortunately with Rights there are no Responsibilities.
It also seems to be the direction the US is headed in.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 29, 2014, 03:16:40 AM
My Daughter had challenged one of her employees to take the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
I thought the video was worth sharing for a laugh:
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1409274858319-12017.png) (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-vSic0iJgyeVTlYNHlYQmFPYTQ/edit?usp=sharing)
Click here to watch the 30 sec. video (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-vSic0iJgyeVTlYNHlYQmFPYTQ/edit?usp=sharing)
 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 29, 2014, 06:17:52 PM
LOL    ;D

See Little Boy's Reaction After Mom Said She was Pregnant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6SG7qd90TM

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on August 30, 2014, 02:18:13 AM
My Daughter had challenged one of her employees to take the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
I thought the video was worth sharing for a laugh:

LOL. That is not a bucket Bob. It is a 20 gallon garbage plastic can. Very brave.


See Little Boy's Reaction After Mom Said She was Pregnant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6SG7qd90TM

I think the kid is smarter than the mom. Very clever argument. Buy him ear plugs please ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 30, 2014, 05:41:42 AM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1409370041443-58985.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on September 02, 2014, 07:05:01 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irQmcWZCt3M&list=UUSvQyDawUyfXzrSq4dTVraQ

His fans are joking with them :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 03, 2014, 01:43:04 AM
His fans are joking with them :)
Not so funny, rather boring actually and a hours worth of waisted bandwidth for anyone that might have the patience to watch it all ::)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 06, 2014, 04:06:22 PM
A sign or the times:
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-UAOeNS4rtIU/VAg7M_RXc1I/AAAAAAAAvF4/u2cftkhTHks/w600-h336/wXWqtG4.gif)
Ever wonder how anything useful is ever accomplished ?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on September 08, 2014, 04:18:16 PM
Bait Car. Cops get busted!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDANFDgfezI
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 14, 2014, 06:26:44 PM
Why can't all commercials be this nice ?


(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1410711953116-44337.png)
http://youtu.be/GpMchwEYHms (http://youtu.be/GpMchwEYHms)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on September 21, 2014, 02:05:49 PM
29 Years old and first flight   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSU7R3PdiJs

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on September 21, 2014, 02:21:58 PM
D'oh!    :o   First iPhone 6 sold in Perth is dropped by kid during an interview

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lhXOgJ8ahA

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on September 21, 2014, 03:41:29 PM
 ;D     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eupIKc5Z1qU

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on September 21, 2014, 03:43:41 PM
29 Years old and first flight   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSU7R3PdiJs

I can't understand the big deal, first flight is just totally excited not total anxiety.

My first flight was at age 15 in a De Havilland Rapide, a 1930s biplane. I was totally excited and it was a very interesting (hairy) flight as we would be crossing the Irish Sea and conditions were poor, very high winds.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Havilland_Dragon_Rapide (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Havilland_Dragon_Rapide)

The first aircraft that I also jumped out if two years later was the same De Havilland Rapide.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 21, 2014, 04:34:11 PM
The only thing exciting about flying is the takeoff and the landing.
The rest of the flight is total boredom.
I guess jumping out of an aircraft would add some excitement to any flight.:)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: essexboy on September 21, 2014, 04:44:58 PM
Well in my time flying I came to the conclusion that only a fool would jump out of a perfectly serviceable aircraft :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on September 21, 2014, 04:47:40 PM
Quote
I guess jumping out of an aircraft would add some excitement to any flight.:)
I think i would feel exited if it was the pilot that jumped.   ;D

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on September 21, 2014, 06:23:24 PM
Quote
I guess jumping out of an aircraft would add some excitement to any flight.:)
I think i would feel exited if it was the pilot that jumped.   ;D

If you jump don't forget your Helmet, it'll help if your parachute doesn't open .....lol  ;D ::)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on September 21, 2014, 07:09:10 PM
Well in my time flying I came to the conclusion that only a fool would jump out of a perfectly serviceable aircraft :)
I agree completely. I have flown about 6 times in my life and the anxiety level was the same every time, very high. Every bit of turbulence and I'm gripping the seat arms. There is no way I can sleep and the takeoffs and landings are pure torture.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on September 21, 2014, 07:14:13 PM
Back in the day when I flew/travelled I found if I kept busy during a flight it helped.
Ordering drinks seemed to work.   ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on September 21, 2014, 07:55:25 PM
Back in the day when I flew/travelled I found if I kept busy during a flight it helped.
Ordering drinks seemed to work.   ;D

I did two very long haul flights to Hong Kong and you feel very drained at the end of it - lots of drinks in the first half of the flight, sleep on second half, then go straight out for the evening, meal and drinks and finally to bed. You wake up refreshed (well I did) and ready to start work (it wasn't a holiday).

I have flown to the USA twice and that isn't that bad for flight duration.

I also flew to Brazil and you first have to fly to France as there is no direct flight to Brazil from the UK (or there wasn't then). We flew on a Varig Airlines aircraft there was an interesting article in one of the in-flight magazines in the back of the seats - it was all about a Varig Airlines crash, with some gruesome pictures in the article. I guess they never checked the in-flight magazines ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on September 21, 2014, 08:08:54 PM
<Snip>
"We flew on a Varig Airlines aircraft there was an interesting article in one of the in-flight magazines in the back of the seats - it was all about a Varig Airlines crash, with some gruesome pictures in the article".

And Now for your on board reading relaxation...... 
Too much  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on September 21, 2014, 08:17:53 PM
Quote
<Snip>
"We flew on a Varig Airlines aircraft there was an interesting article in one of the in-flight magazines in the back of the seats - it was all about a Varig Airlines crash, with some gruesome pictures in the article".

And Now for your on board reading relaxation...... 
Too much  ;D ;D

Not if you were already a nervous flyer ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on September 21, 2014, 08:38:33 PM
A flight I remember very well was in the back of a Pipercub  from Jerusalem into Sinai Egypt in 1986 with a carton of oranges in my lap (the desert there can be a dry environment to be in). Agree with David, a small plane with pilot and three passengers is more fun.

pol
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on September 21, 2014, 10:11:45 PM
I remember my hairiest flight -- coming home from Fresno Calif. to Toronto (surprisingly, best routing was with one change in Dallas, on American).  Broiling hot summer day, which I'd read was no help for lift, every seat was filled with standbys, and I knew we didn't have all that much distance to climb and clear the Sierras.  As a "bonus", I was on anti-anxiety meds -- sweating buckets till we were safely over the mountains.

Less scary (to a passenger) but very interesting was the time I flew from Wash. DC to spend Christmas with friends in London Ont.  (Washington to Cleveland, then a supposedly quick hop across Lake Erie).  Long wait (this was late Christmas Eve) in Cleveland, since we were told our plane had to be pulled for maintenance and a replacement was flying in from relatively far-off Halifax.

The flight itself was quick and easy, once we finally got going ... the approach and landing in London was the fun part.  We could clearly see the airport during the approach, and then we lined up with the runway and descended.  When we were quite low, the pilot suddenly and unexpectedly applied power and climbed back up, circled around, and then landed on the same runway from the opposite direction.  Sudden change in wind direction?  Communication foulup with the tower?  I never did find out.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on September 21, 2014, 10:21:09 PM
Scary landings   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aulyFhS-eK8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSgRfw44x6I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUgHzBKEI2Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQvksr0zHXs
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on September 21, 2014, 10:58:37 PM
Scary landings   ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aulyFhS-eK8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSgRfw44x6I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUgHzBKEI2Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQvksr0zHXs


The landing into Hong Kong, Kai Tak Airport before the new one was built I found to be very, very interesting. The approach was below the level of the hills with blocks of flats higher than the approach. Kai Tak is usually featured in the scariest landings/airports.

I haven't seen all of the above clips, but Kai Tak will possibly be in there.

EDIT: Found some clips, https://uk.video.search.yahoo.com/search/video;_ylt=A9mSs2_fPB9U0BkAiwdLBQx.;_ylu=X3oDMTB1OHM1aWNnBHNlYwNzYwRjb2xvA2lyMgR2dGlkA1ZJUFVLMTdfMQ--?p=Hong+Kong+-+Kai+Tak+landings

The Concorde landing at Hong Kong Kai Tak Airport surprised me I didn't know they did a service there.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on September 21, 2014, 11:02:17 PM
Kai Tak is in video nr#3  .... also see Nukla, Nepal (used in a James Bond movie)



Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on September 25, 2014, 09:23:27 PM
'Dear iPhone users, welcome to 2012!'     ;D

if you need help with iphones new features, just ask an Android user. We`ve had this for years

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2749597/All-hail-iPhone-6-iPhone-6-Plus-Apple-reveals-generation-handsets.html

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on September 25, 2014, 10:35:42 PM
'Dear iPhone users, welcome to 2012!'     ;D

if you need help with iphones new features, just ask an Android user. We`ve had this for years

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2749597/All-hail-iPhone-6-iPhone-6-Plus-Apple-reveals-generation-handsets.html

I see that they have added a new feature to the iphone 6 - the bendy or banana effect from keeping it in tight trouser pockets - lots of complaints about that being reported.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on September 28, 2014, 02:29:24 PM
A Mac user trying out Windows 2.10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KnHRSpePI4&list=UURjXNz9JNSuE8n-Oej4Rflw
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 29, 2014, 07:19:40 AM
Poop on Lamborghini Prank Gone HORRIBLY WRONG!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eD6Qq1iROMA&feature=player_embedded
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on September 29, 2014, 09:03:39 PM
I bet they will prank only those people they already know.  ;D
In a way that was funny.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 02, 2014, 12:08:56 AM
This may not be funny but I sure wouldn't try it:
http://www.flixxy.com/cat-319d-ln-climbing-onto-rail-car.htm (http://www.flixxy.com/cat-319d-ln-climbing-onto-rail-car.htm)


(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1412201292447-94963.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on October 02, 2014, 07:35:38 AM
He's got some good skills, we use that video here for display in our Mining Training and Safety courses.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on October 02, 2014, 04:50:40 PM
I watched this live!

KAUT has a morning show "Rise and Shine" and this happened!
The one laughing in the background is Lacey Lett. The one with the
microphone is Lucas Ross. And they have a lot of fun during the show.
KAUT is a sister station to KFOR in Oklahoma City.

http://kfor.com/2014/10/02/hilarious-watch-our-weatherman-add-sidekick-thanks-to-a-tricky-microphone/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 10, 2014, 09:48:20 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1412973947359-52748.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on October 10, 2014, 10:48:08 PM
I forget where or when I first heard this, but it's got a vaguely Ogden Nash "ring" to it:

The bees are very busy souls,
They've got no time for birth control;
And that is why, in times like these,
There are so many sons of bees.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on October 11, 2014, 12:39:01 AM
Anyone want a used Mac     ;)

http://mashable.com/2014/10/07/apple-motherboard-auction-400000/


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on October 11, 2014, 07:37:55 PM
Autocorrect Fails (Click on picture to see the next)
http://www.chip.de/bildergalerie/Autocorrect-Fails-Die-fiesesten-Vertipper-Galerie_66033814.html
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 14, 2014, 02:32:16 AM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1413243047601-26650.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 14, 2014, 05:42:13 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1413301211659-43727.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on October 17, 2014, 05:23:39 PM
Wheels Of Life
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on October 31, 2014, 06:31:09 AM
WARNING! This is not funny and it might make you fell sick.

Digging out a 25 year old blackhead

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msZCTLXn8yQ
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on October 31, 2014, 07:04:57 AM
Yuk! that's revolting, the topic title does mention "funny" not disgusting ::)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 31, 2014, 04:55:32 PM
WARNING! This is not funny and it might make you fell sick.

Digging out a 25 year old blackhead
If it's not funny and this certainly is NOT, why is it being posted here ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on October 31, 2014, 07:49:37 PM
WARNING! This is not funny and it might make you fell sick.

Digging out a 25 year old blackhead
If it's not funny and this certainly is NOT, why is it being posted here ???
Thanks for the warning.  I'll not have a look based upon that warning. 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on October 31, 2014, 09:05:41 PM
Google IRL featuring Markiplier

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4VFJGLTlhQ&list=UU7_YxT-KID8kRbqZo7MyscQ
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on November 07, 2014, 08:26:06 PM
For those who have everything!

http://news.filehippo.com/2014/11/illumibowl-lights-toilet-night/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on November 10, 2014, 10:46:31 AM
SENIOR TRYING TO SET PASSWORD
 
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
 
USER: cabbage
 
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
 
USER: boiled cabbage
 
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
 
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
 
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
 
USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages
 
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
 
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages
 
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
 
USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!
 
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
 
USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
 
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on November 12, 2014, 10:34:39 PM
SENIOR TRYING TO SET PASSWORD

I really have a laugh ;D Reminded me of my father. 84 8)

This can only be seen in countries where lawsuit are not easy to file.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmtMQXVNnzA
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 17, 2014, 02:04:10 PM
If you have a checkered past, He might be able to help you: :)
          (http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1416236533663-18524.png)


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on November 19, 2014, 04:17:33 PM
And you thought you were bad in sports!

There are twelve gif's.

http://news.filehippo.com/2014/11/12-sports-people-failing-badly-hurts/nggallery/image/back-flop/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on November 19, 2014, 04:39:53 PM
And you thought you were bad in sports!

There are twelve gif's.

http://news.filehippo.com/2014/11/12-sports-people-failing-badly-hurts/nggallery/image/back-flop/

God that was hard to choose a favourite clip - cocky speed skater, pipped on the line, but I think the slam dunk wins it - how many points do you award for that ?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on November 19, 2014, 05:07:13 PM
I like the soccer player leaping over the advertisement board just to end up in a covered and
blocked off pit. What a disappearing act!  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on November 19, 2014, 07:04:30 PM
interrogation     ;D      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVDNNoEk4PI

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on November 19, 2014, 08:08:17 PM
I wonder if they were read their Miranda Rights?  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on November 20, 2014, 10:51:26 AM
Thirsty? how about some frog juice   ;)

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2014/11/18/people-in-peru-are-drinking-an-endangered-species-frog-juice-for-the-supposed-health-benefits/

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on November 20, 2014, 02:52:32 PM
There was talk the other day where some yuppie idiot chef in Australia mentioned we should be eating the introduced pest "cane toad", Aussies wont eat that sort of crap so the chef was shunned for his outrageous suggestion pretty quickly ;D maybe that's how we could get rid of the toads though by sending them all to Peru :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on November 20, 2014, 03:52:05 PM
Quote
the introduced pest "cane toad"
had to google that .... a big one it is  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cane_toad
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on November 20, 2014, 08:37:35 PM
There was talk the other day where some yuppie idiot chef in Australia mentioned we should be eating the introduced pest "cane toad", Aussies wont eat that sort of crap so the chef was shunned for his outrageous suggestion pretty quickly ;D maybe that's how we could get rid of the toads though by sending them all to Peru :)
Besides the fact that they're poisonous and people have died from eating them.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on November 21, 2014, 12:36:47 AM
There was talk the other day where some yuppie idiot chef in Australia mentioned we should be eating the introduced pest "cane toad", Aussies wont eat that sort of crap so the chef was shunned for his outrageous suggestion pretty quickly ;D maybe that's how we could get rid of the toads though by sending them all to Peru :)
Besides the fact that they're poisonous and people have died from eating them.
Obviously the poison glands would be removed ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on November 21, 2014, 01:34:21 AM
There was talk the other day where some yuppie idiot chef in Australia mentioned we should be eating the introduced pest "cane toad", Aussies wont eat that sort of crap so the chef was shunned for his outrageous suggestion pretty quickly ;D maybe that's how we could get rid of the toads though by sending them all to Peru :)
Besides the fact that they're poisonous and people have died from eating them.
Obviously the poison glands would be removed ;)

Isn't there a bunch of weirdos that go around licking some frogs/toads as it gives them some sort of high - not sure if that is the cane toad.

Not to mention all of those Princesses going round kissing frogs ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on November 21, 2014, 02:16:38 AM
There was talk the other day where some yuppie idiot chef in Australia mentioned we should be eating the introduced pest "cane toad", Aussies wont eat that sort of crap so the chef was shunned for his outrageous suggestion pretty quickly ;D maybe that's how we could get rid of the toads though by sending them all to Peru :)
Besides the fact that they're poisonous and people have died from eating them.
Obviously the poison glands would be removed ;)

Isn't there a bunch of weirdos that go around licking some frogs/toads as it gives them some sort of high - not sure if that is the cane toad.

Not to mention all of those Princesses going round kissing frogs ;D

Licking, kissing, too funny   lololol ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on November 21, 2014, 07:19:58 AM
Isn't there a bunch of weirdos that go around licking some frogs/toads as it gives them some sort of high - not sure if that is the cane toad.
Yes I've heard of that before, not a smart thing to do though as it usually kills you ::)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on November 23, 2014, 12:45:31 AM
There was talk the other day where some yuppie idiot chef in Australia mentioned we should be eating the introduced pest "cane toad", Aussies wont eat that sort of crap so the chef was shunned for his outrageous suggestion pretty quickly ;D maybe that's how we could get rid of the toads though by sending them all to Peru :)
Besides the fact that they're poisonous and people have died from eating them.
Obviously the poison glands would be removed ;)
Just the skin is toxic.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on November 23, 2014, 12:48:30 AM
I see that now Walmart will be selling cremation urns and coffins. I can see it now. You go to somebody's wake and instead of the coffin lid having a nice silk or satin lining with the maker's name, it's cheap felt with big letters saying GREAT VALUE.  ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on November 23, 2014, 05:04:56 AM
There was talk the other day where some yuppie idiot chef in Australia mentioned we should be eating the introduced pest "cane toad", Aussies wont eat that sort of crap so the chef was shunned for his outrageous suggestion pretty quickly ;D maybe that's how we could get rid of the toads though by sending them all to Peru :)
Besides the fact that they're poisonous and people have died from eating them.
Obviously the poison glands would be removed ;)
Just the skin is toxic.
A bit of both actually, the main parotoid glands behind the eyes secrete the milky poison as do several other smaller glands down the back so essentially the skin would need to be removed with the glands but as we in Australia wont be eating these ugly looking things it doesn't really matter ;)

On a side note the chef that suggested this also tried to market horse meat :o  he's not going to last long in this country ::)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on December 01, 2014, 06:57:22 PM
"Who is Jack Schitt?"

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

    We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
     
    Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
     
    Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
     
    Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.

    They had one son, Jack.
     
    In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
     
    Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
     
    After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
     
    Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.
     
    Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
     
    The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
     
    The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
     
    Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
     
    He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
     
    Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
     
    Sincerely,
     
    Crock O. Schitt
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on December 01, 2014, 07:06:02 PM
 ;D   ;D   :D

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on December 02, 2014, 12:40:44 AM
 ;D :D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on December 02, 2014, 06:04:32 AM
God Crikey Craig you really crack me up before Christmas ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on December 02, 2014, 06:17:18 PM
From this Schmidt, that's some Schitt...... ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on December 02, 2014, 07:14:17 PM
I'm glad you didn't think it was schmidt schitt house ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on December 02, 2014, 07:22:40 PM
I'm glad you didn't think it was schmidt schitt house ;)

Yes it coming to Christmas and it's always a problem with Santa landing on the "little house" outside with the quarter moon on Christmas eve and hearing Santa yelling at Rudolf  "I said the Schmidthouse" ;) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on December 02, 2014, 07:26:10 PM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 02, 2014, 08:30:00 PM
I had one Grandmother that was a Schmitt and the other one was a Schmidt
I still don't know which side is which. Now that's allot of bull Sch..
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on December 02, 2014, 08:32:52 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on December 11, 2014, 08:23:27 PM
Luis Suarez does it again   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsfFqG2un-E

see reply #928 / #929

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on December 11, 2014, 11:05:16 PM
Uh...red card!  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: lifeisgood169 on December 12, 2014, 04:50:58 AM
;D :D ;D

Havent read something this funny in a while. Excellent.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on December 22, 2014, 05:32:44 PM
Dr Evil sends a video message to North Korea
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/culturenews/11307400/Dr-Evil-sends-a-video-message-to-the-Sony-hackers.html

alternative link  http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/12/21/dr-evil-mike-myers-north-_n_6362996.html


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on December 22, 2014, 05:52:49 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on December 22, 2014, 08:32:47 PM
ROFLMAO  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on December 27, 2014, 04:15:50 PM
Australians experience snow for the first time.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2d6044_australians-experience-snow-for-the-first-time_lifestyle

I posted this because I've seen tons of snow in my lifetime.
When I lived in Iowa and Nebraska I lived through multiple blizzards. Some of those
blizzards produced over two feet of snow, a few over three feet.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on December 27, 2014, 06:15:43 PM
I've never seen snow myself either :) we only get the slightest little bit if ever at the top of one of the mountains here in the southwest of Australia in the Porongurup national park but if you go to the southeast of Australia snow and the ski season is annual in Threadbo NSW's ( 500km's south of Sydney ).
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on December 27, 2014, 06:41:13 PM
Well just looked and there is heavy snowfall here in The Okanagan Valley as we speak.
Calling for 10 inches.
Snow is cool  lolol 
but as I get older I find 'cool and damp'  not as attractive as I once did.  ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on December 27, 2014, 06:58:10 PM
Well just looked and there is heavy snowfall here in The Okanagan Valley as we speak.
Calling for 10 inches.
Snow is cool  lolol 
but as I get older I find 'cool and damp'  not as attractive as I once did.  ;)

Not much fun when you have to clear the road in order to get out of the street, usually only me and my neighbour and possibly 1 more. The strange thing is the youngsters stay indoors whilst we old uns, get the snow shovels out.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on December 27, 2014, 07:02:40 PM
Well just looked and there is heavy snowfall here in The Okanagan Valley as we speak.
Calling for 10 inches.
Snow is cool  lolol 
but as I get older I find 'cool and damp'  not as attractive as I once did.  ;)

Not much fun when you have to clear the road in order to get out of the street, usually only me and my neighbour and possibly 1 more. The strange thing is the youngsters stay indoors whilst we old uns, get the snow shovels out.

I hear you David, unfortunately sign of the times, Internet, games, facebook, chat rooms.
Ah well, when I was a youngster you couldn't keep me indoors. lololol
I'm still out more then not. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on December 27, 2014, 09:54:52 PM
Well just looked and there is heavy snowfall here in The Okanagan Valley as we speak.
Calling for 10 inches.
Snow is cool  lolol 
but as I get older I find 'cool and damp'  not as attractive as I once did.  ;)

Not much fun when you have to clear the road in order to get out of the street, usually only me and my neighbour and possibly 1 more. The strange thing is the youngsters stay indoors whilst we old uns, get the snow shovels out.

Did you get much snow on Boxing Day?  ???
I watched the West Brom v Man City match and it started snowing during the match.
I know West Bromwich isn't too far from you so I thought I'd ask.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on December 27, 2014, 10:22:23 PM
Hi folks,

What is your favorite end of the year neckfiller?
 Just like this suggestion: http://www.saltimbocca.nl/2011/02/the-rotterdam-kapsalon-multiethnic-fries/
or hearty hog maw: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/12/26/post_pub_nosh_hog_maw/

pol
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 27, 2014, 10:42:45 PM
Hi folks,

What is your favorite end of the year neckfiller?
 Just like this suggestion: http://www.saltimbocca.nl/2011/02/the-rotterdam-kapsalon-multiethnic-fries/ (http://www.saltimbocca.nl/2011/02/the-rotterdam-kapsalon-multiethnic-fries/)
or hearty hog maw: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/12/26/post_pub_nosh_hog_maw/ (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/12/26/post_pub_nosh_hog_maw/)

pol
How is this related to "Off topic but was so funny i had to post". ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on December 27, 2014, 10:54:39 PM
Probably there is not a "this is kind of cool" thread.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on December 27, 2014, 11:06:03 PM
Well just looked and there is heavy snowfall here in The Okanagan Valley as we speak.
Calling for 10 inches.
Snow is cool  lolol 
but as I get older I find 'cool and damp'  not as attractive as I once did.  ;)

Not much fun when you have to clear the road in order to get out of the street, usually only me and my neighbour and possibly 1 more. The strange thing is the youngsters stay indoors whilst we old uns, get the snow shovels out.

Did you get much snow on Boxing Day?  ???
I watched the West Brom v Man City match and it started snowing during the match.
I know West Bromwich isn't too far from you so I thought I'd ask.

Nowhere in England is that far away compared to the USA and Australia - but be have some very weird weather with huge differences and only 100 miles or so apart. No snow here though so far, lots of rain but not quite cold enough for snow.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on December 27, 2014, 11:17:01 PM
Hi Para-Noid,

Where to post such a non-serious topic, trivial nosh neckfillers form quite the opposite of fun, they come as an aftermath necessity.
What is the fun in getting ingredients like a stomach, "taters" and a lot of other incredible filling stuff, and a neckfiller could also be a beauty treatment for ladies that always stay out of the other neckfilling habits.

polonus

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on December 28, 2014, 12:19:30 AM
Nowhere in England is that far away compared to the USA and Australia - but be have some very weird weather with huge differences and only 100 miles or so apart. No snow here though so far, lots of rain but not quite cold enough for snow.
Pretty much the same here in southern Ont. Canada, huge differences in weather over relative short distances.  Maybe ten years ago there was a major winter storm that totally crippled Toronto with 4 feet of accumulated snow, and that's not even counting blowing and drifting ... friends and acquaintances from all over the internet expressed concerns that I was OK, and I had a heck of a time convincing that even though I'm only about 65 miles (call it an even hundred km) west of there and in the "snow belt", we only got a light dusting here.

Even much shorter distances can make big differences.  Kitchener and Waterloo, while called twin cities, are for most purposes one continuous city, with only "Now entering ..." signs to advise you've passed from one to the other.  Their respective downtowns are only 2 or 3 miles apart, and quite often I'd swear there's a sharp stationary front sitting on or close to the dividing line, since it'll be thunderstorms there but clear and sunny here, or vice-versa.

Slightly OT, but relevant to the peculiarities of local geography ... Ontario Hwy 8 runs primarily east-west from the border across from Buffalo (Ft. Erie) to the crossing at Detroit/Windsor, but dog-legs more north-south for a few miles through our area.  Since one of Kitchener's main thoroughfares, King St., was part of that highway before the expressways were built, Kitchener designates it and parallel streets as east-west, while cross-streets are, naturally, north-south.  Waterloo, on the other hand, rotates the designations of those streets which cross over between cities, to more logically follow the actual orientation of the streets locally.  So you can imagine the confusion when visitors pass through along King St. and find that the street has East, West, South, and North sections without their ever having turned a corner!  lol
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on December 28, 2014, 04:06:15 PM
Hi Para-Noid,

Where to post such a non-serious topic, trivial nosh neckfillers form quite the opposite of fun, they come as an aftermath necessity.
What is the fun in getting ingredients like a stomach, "taters" and a lot of other incredible filling stuff, and a neckfiller could also be a beauty treatment for ladies that always stay out of the other neckfilling habits.

polonus

Where else should we post "kind of cool" posts? By the way I've had shawarma before and it's delicious.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 28, 2014, 04:31:43 PM
Hi Para-Noid,

Where to post such a non-serious topic, trivial nosh neckfillers form quite the opposite of fun, they come as an aftermath necessity.
What is the fun in getting ingredients like a stomach, "taters" and a lot of other incredible filling stuff, and a neckfiller could also be a beauty treatment for ladies that always stay out of the other neckfilling habits.

polonus

Where else should we post "kind of cool" posts? By the way I've had shawarma before and it's delicious.
Where Else ??? in an appropriate thread or, in a new thread but not where it really doesn't belong.
It takes "off Topic, Off Topic. (Can you really do that ??? )
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on December 28, 2014, 04:38:11 PM
It takes "off Topic, Off Topic. (Can you really do that ??? )
Now we're back on topic ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on January 02, 2015, 01:50:56 PM
filling gas can be difficult     ;D
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iTd9WuOJXZA

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on January 02, 2015, 01:57:52 PM
I seen that one a couple of days ago, I'm amazed she has the ability to even drive ::) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 02, 2015, 02:21:59 PM
filling gas can be difficult     ;D
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iTd9WuOJXZA

That's remind me of my mother did the same thing 20 years ago at Caltex Service Station at Maroubra Junction, and it took her 20mins to park at the correct side of the vehicle to refill her car.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on January 02, 2015, 02:38:10 PM
Here is another one     http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MkmGs2o23vI

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 02, 2015, 03:13:04 PM
filling gas can be difficult     ;D
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iTd9WuOJXZA

She probably works for some major IT company.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on January 02, 2015, 03:21:10 PM
Here is another one     http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MkmGs2o23vI

I guess introducing a garage element into the driving test is out of the question.

No if that wasn't a long leggy brunette - do you think she would have got that amount of attention ;D

I can't understand - she had just come out of the kiosk, presumably having paid, makes to drive off, presumably sees hose still in tank, stops. Guy takes hose out, she puts it back in and tops it up (didn't pay) - eventually gets back in and drives off.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: phil2 on January 02, 2015, 11:08:25 PM
Just had to share this   8)

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.

Dot Com was a comely woman,  broad of shoulder and long of leg.
 
Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
 
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
 
Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"
 
Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price.

The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
 
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.
 
The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
 
To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew.

It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People     (HTTP).
 
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung.
 
They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.
 
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land.

Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
 
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."
 
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known.
 
He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
 
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
 
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.
It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
 
That is how it all began. And that's the truth! Well almost?

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on January 03, 2015, 06:22:21 AM
Here is another one     http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MkmGs2o23vI

Thank goodness she not my wife ;D better off saying single otherwise you'll be asking for trouble later on.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 03, 2015, 01:44:39 PM
Here is another one     http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MkmGs2o23vI (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MkmGs2o23vI)

Thank goodness she not my wife ;D better off saying single otherwise you'll be asking for trouble later on.
What trouble ??? :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on January 13, 2015, 11:00:47 PM
Baby Boomers Then and Now:
Then: Killer Weed
Now:  Weed Killer

Then: The Grateful Dead
Now:  Dr. Kevorkian

Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint
Now:  Getting a new hip joint

Then:  Mood Stones
Now:  Kidney Stones

Then: Moving to California because it’s cool
Now:  Moving to California because it’s warm

Then: Screw the system!
Now:  System upgrade.

Then: Peace Sign
Now:  Mercedes Logo

Then: Getting your head stoned
Now:  Getting your headstone

Then: “Going blind”
Now:  REALLY going blind

Then: Long hair
Now: Longing for hair

Then: Father Knows Best
Now:  Go ask your mother!

Then: Parents begging you to get a haircut.
Now: Children begging you to get their head shaved.

Then: Acid rock
Now:  Acid reflux

Then: The perfect high
Now:  The perfect high-yield mutual fund

Then: Keg
Now: EKG

Then: Take acid
Now: Take antacid

Then: VW Microbus
Now:  Voyager Minivan

Then: Watching John Glenn’s historic flight with your parents
Now:  Watching John Glenn’s historic flight with your kids

Then: Passing the driving test
Now:  Passing the vision test

Then: Seeds and stems
Now:  Roughage

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints
Now:  Popping joints

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor
Now:  Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 14, 2015, 04:01:25 PM
How true... ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Eddy on January 26, 2015, 04:17:36 PM
Elvis is alive !!
(https://static.avast.com/support/kb/images/v2015/avkb33/en/002_generate-now.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on January 27, 2015, 10:39:43 PM
What problem?

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on January 27, 2015, 11:51:01 PM
What problem?

Water in the carburettor.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Eddy on January 28, 2015, 11:00:13 AM
WOW! Really nice piece of engineering.
A waterplane that can submerge.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on January 28, 2015, 05:44:39 PM
Naaahh ! James Bond had it in the 70's... ooops! Sorry that was a car ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on January 31, 2015, 12:58:40 PM
not funny but amazing   Robbin Hood  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEG-ly9tQGk

Martial arts movie audition   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHUwtKBcS7E     ;D


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on February 01, 2015, 08:22:29 PM
The High & dry Tavern

Two rather gorgeous girls came into the lounge bar and I noticed that one of them kept glancing at me.

Fortunately I had got my hearings aids turned up on turbo boost and was able to hear her whisper to her friend "nine"

I was rather chuffed and said to our barmaid that I obviously hadn't lost my touch with the ladies - that gorgeous girl over there has just rated me nine out of ten.

She said "I don't want to spoil it for you - but when I served them drinks - they were speaking German "...............
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 02, 2015, 04:48:47 PM
The High & dry Tavern

Two rather gorgeous girls came into the lounge bar and I noticed that one of them kept glancing at me.

Fortunately I had got my hearings aids turned up on turbo boost and was able to hear her whisper to her friend "nine"

I was rather chuffed and said to our barmaid that I obviously hadn't lost my touch with the ladies - that gorgeous girl over there has just rated me nine out of ten.

She said "I don't want to spoil it for you - but when I served them drinks - they were speaking German "...............
Ach du lieber :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on February 03, 2015, 05:24:33 PM
A Few Funnies That Should Be Taken In Good Humour

Low Battery
A man saved his girlfriend’s phone number on his mobile as "Low Battery."
Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger.
Give that man a medal.
 
Government Survey
A government survey has shown that 91 percent of illegal immigrants come to the U.K.  so that they can see their own doctor.
 
I’ve just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom.
It makes the missus look like she’s moving during intercourse.
 
Two Thai girls asked me if I’d like to go bed with them.
They said it would be just like winning Lotto!
I agreed, and they were right.. We all stripped off, and to my
horror, we had six matching balls!
 
Such an unfair world: When a man talks dirty to a woman it’s
considered sexual harassment.
When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $2.50/min (charges may
vary.
 
Valentine’s Day
Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the wife.
Bound to end in tears though; she’s lousy at snooker.
 
Got a new Jack Russell pup today. He’s mainly black and brown with
just a small white area.
I’ve called him England.
 
If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from
tins of ham then delete it.
It’s spam.
 
They say that sex is the best form of exercise.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think 2 minutes and 15
seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 13, 2015, 02:39:04 PM
HOT COFFEE
I was eating breakfast with my  13-year-old Great-Granddaughter and asked her,  What day is tomorrow?" Without skipping a beat she said, "It's Presidents Day!"She's smart, so I asked her  "What does Presidents Day mean?" I waswaiting for something about Obama, Bush, or Clinton, etc.She replied,  "Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow,  we have another year of Bullshit."You know, it hurts when hot  coffee spurts out your nose.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on February 13, 2015, 03:50:24 PM
HOT COFFEE
I was eating breakfast with my  13-year-old Great-Granddaughter and asked her,  What day is tomorrow?" Without skipping a beat she said, "It's Presidents Day!"She's smart, so I asked her  "What does Presidents Day mean?" I waswaiting for something about Obama, Bush, or Clinton, etc.She replied,  "Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow,  we have another year of Bullshit."You know, it hurts when hot  coffee spurts out your nose.

Well I didn't know what Presidents Day was, but I do now ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on February 14, 2015, 12:01:41 AM
a normal day in indonesian traffic    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S250PZJtgSc

More overload   https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XJJvUJlro7Y


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on February 19, 2015, 06:19:32 PM
Seen this? https://www.youtube.com/embed/MW_TxptVyVo/?wmode=opaque
A pity it is photoshop...

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on February 22, 2015, 01:28:30 PM
Still doesn't look right even after photo shopping :o

On our beaches here in AUS she wouldn't have got the chance to be photo shopped though, a Japanese whaling ship would have harpooned her ;D 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 24, 2015, 04:18:11 PM
Evolution of Viral Video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzC8ftB0qH0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzC8ftB0qH0)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on February 26, 2015, 11:04:12 PM

Why is everybody always picking on us older people  ? ? ?
ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING?
ARE WE THE ONES WITH DEMENTIA?
REALLY!

A young lady at an internet cafe was seen putting a credit card into the DVD drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and.
they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy.
(More examples to follow.)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on March 03, 2015, 06:45:31 PM
The unskippable ad, once you start to watch you cannot stop:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pvcj9xptNOQ

polonus

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on March 04, 2015, 12:23:36 AM
 ;D ;D  Probably the funniest part was the humans trying (not totally successfully) to imitate a freeze-frame while the dog's doing its thing.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 05, 2015, 10:07:07 PM

   My Great Granddaughter The Drama Queen
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1425589443699-85226.png) (http://youtu.be/Su80O--gC2I)
          http://youtu.be/Su80O--gC2I (http://youtu.be/Su80O--gC2I)


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 10, 2015, 10:30:12 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1426022938742-83571.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 11, 2015, 06:44:11 PM
Maybe this should be in the security section ;D
(http://i.imgur.com/KtYjNJQ.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Eddy on March 12, 2015, 03:13:53 PM
Panda is detecting itself as malware
http://www.pandasecurity.com/mediacenter/panda-security/information-regarding-issue-with-the-signature-file-pcop-retail-2015/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on March 12, 2015, 03:42:43 PM
Panda is detecting itself as malware
http://www.pandasecurity.com/mediacenter/panda-security/information-regarding-issue-with-the-signature-file-pcop-retail-2015/ (http://www.pandasecurity.com/mediacenter/panda-security/information-regarding-issue-with-the-signature-file-pcop-retail-2015/)
Just a little late this morning Eddy:
https://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=52252.msg1193011#msg1193011 (https://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=52252.msg1193011#msg1193011)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on March 17, 2015, 12:07:33 AM
Little Peter Reacts to Missed Putt   ;D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_UVgmPDMRY

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on March 25, 2015, 08:33:37 AM
Mr Sanders

The phone rings and the woman of the house answers,

"Hello."

"Mrs Sanders, please."

"Speaking."

"Mrs Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When
your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy
from another Mr Sanders arrived as well ... We are now uncertain which
one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not
too good."

"What do you mean?" Mrs Sanders asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the
other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."

"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questions Mrs Sanders.

"Normally we could, but MEDICARE will only pay for these expensive tests
once."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The MEDICARE Helpdesk recommend that you drop your husband off
somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep
with him.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on March 30, 2015, 09:37:55 PM
Avast has a sense of humor!  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Lisandro on March 31, 2015, 02:46:51 AM
Avast has a sense of humor!  ;D
Thanks, you've posted what I was always lazy to do :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 03, 2015, 09:12:20 PM

Websites should be easy to navigate, even when 'The User Is Drunk'!
So, for only $250 (per site), I will get smashed and test your website for you.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on April 03, 2015, 09:34:17 PM

Websites should be easy to navigate, even when 'The User Is Drunk'!
So, for only $250 (per site), I will get smashed and test your website for you.

You should advertise that deal all over the web.  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 03, 2015, 10:22:25 PM

Websites should be easy to navigate, even when 'The User Is Drunk'!
So, for only $250 (per site), I will get smashed and test your website for you.

You should advertise that deal all over the web.  ;D
I had planned to offer it to all those attending the Avast sponsored Security Presentations (https://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=78426.msg647360#msg647360) at 40% off the regular price.
Avast makes that offer available to the attendees on their paid products. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: nanajana on April 08, 2015, 03:44:23 AM
Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Scotland. She said the snow was waist deep this morning and is still falling.
 
The temperature has dropped below zero and the northerly wind is increasing to near gale strength.

Her husband has done nothing all morning but look through the kitchen window and stare.
 
She says that if it gets much worse, she may have to let the drunken bum in.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Staticguy on April 08, 2015, 10:30:16 AM
I had to share this to you all  ;D

What is it like to work at AVAST?

Most of them are awesome stuffs, but this one is funny when this video comes at 1:00 and at 1:20  ;D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9M9T5zwCrdc
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 14, 2015, 01:34:01 PM
The wisdom of old !
 
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500; if not cured get back $1,000."

Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.
So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.
This is what transpired.

Dr. Young: --- "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth." can you please help me ??
Dr. Geezer:  ---  "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young: --- Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Doctor Young:  "Oh no you don't,  --  that is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."
Dr. Young (after having lost $1,000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak  ---  I can hardly see !
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so --  " Here's your $1000 back."
Dr. Young: "But this is only $500..."
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."

Moral of story  --  Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer "
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 20, 2015, 11:56:57 PM
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg ??? ??? ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on April 21, 2015, 12:11:09 AM
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg ??? ??? ???

One
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 21, 2015, 12:21:41 AM
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg ??? ??? ???

One
Wrong, any other guesses ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: abruptum on April 21, 2015, 12:31:12 AM
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg ??? ??? ???

One
Wrong, any other guesses ???

"How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg."

Abraham Lincoln

If you don't know something,just google it.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 21, 2015, 12:36:09 AM
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg ??? ??? ???

One
Wrong, any other guesses ???

"How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg."

Abraham Lincoln

If you don't know something,just google it.
Correct but,
Googling takes all the fun out of things. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on April 21, 2015, 09:16:14 PM
He should have better gotten a job :D

https://www.facebook.com/116687955016786/videos/942963239055916/?pnref=story
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on April 22, 2015, 03:41:31 PM
He should have better gotten a job :D

https://www.facebook.com/116687955016786/videos/942963239055916/?pnref=story
Very funny until the socially awkward son kills his mentally unstable father in his sleep ::)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on April 26, 2015, 03:27:27 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1430054808498-43102.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on April 26, 2015, 06:40:53 PM
He should have better gotten a job :D

https://www.facebook.com/116687955016786/videos/942963239055916/?pnref=story
Very funny until the socially awkward son kills his mentally unstable father in his sleep ::)

... or worst. Kill 20 schoolmates ::) Then they wonder what made him like he was, the video games or a parent who did not know how to be one :-X

Not funny at all.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on April 26, 2015, 11:42:58 PM
... And if you had a 3 1/2" floppy you just hoped nobody found out!

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on April 28, 2015, 11:31:33 PM
Did you pass or fail?

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on April 30, 2015, 12:58:20 AM
I couldn't find any physical opening in that 2D image to accept my $100 bill.  :'(
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on May 03, 2015, 12:13:13 AM

Study the picture first and then read the story.


This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk.

A French policeman stops the Englishman's car and asks if he has been drinking.

With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day,
that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne
and a few bottles of wine at the reception, and many single malts scotches thereafter.

Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcohol-test (breath test) the Englishman and verifies that he is indeed totally sloshed.

He asks the Englishman if he knows why, under French Law, he is going to be arrested.

The Englishman answers with a bit of humour,
"No sir, I do not! But while we're asking questions, do you realize that this is a British car

and that my wife is driving . . . . . on the other side?"

 (So sorry, lost the picture).
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on May 11, 2015, 02:10:36 PM
Always had a website you liked to explode and play with the pieces afterwards?
You can do so here: http://explode.website/
Have fun whenever you feel bored...

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 11, 2015, 05:31:19 PM
Always had a website you liked to explode and play with the pieces afterwards?
You can do so here: http://explode.website/ (http://explode.website/)
Have fun whenever you feel bored...

polonus
http://explode.website?url=forum.avast.com%2Findex.php%3Fboard%3D2 (http://explode.website?url=forum.avast.com%2Findex.php%3Fboard%3D2)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on May 13, 2015, 08:09:34 AM
May 12, 2015
Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans
By Andy Borowitz

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/scientists-earth-endangered-by-new-strain-of-fact-resistant-humans (http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/scientists-earth-endangered-by-new-strain-of-fact-resistant-humans)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on May 14, 2015, 05:49:56 AM
May 12, 2015
Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans
By Andy Borowitz

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/scientists-earth-endangered-by-new-strain-of-fact-resistant-humans (http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/scientists-earth-endangered-by-new-strain-of-fact-resistant-humans)
Total nonsense. Science has been wrong so many times in the past and has had to backtrack and retract commonly held "facts" on numerous occasions. It is only prudent to react to anything they present with the attitude of "Okay, maybe". If they're calling man-made climate change a fact, they are exaggerating things quite a lot.

Yes, I know it's satire but many would accept it as fact.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 15, 2015, 09:02:13 PM
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the sleeping carriage on a train. After their initial embarrassment, they both go to sleep. The man takes the top bunk, and the woman takes the lower bunk.

In the middle of the night, the man leans over and wakes the woman, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket?"

The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye, says, "I have a better idea... just for tonight... let's pretend that we're married."

The man replies with excitement, "Okay! Sure!"

"Good," says the woman, "get your own damn blanket!"
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 15, 2015, 09:10:50 PM
EXERCISE PROGRAM FOR SENIORS
 
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty  of room at each side. 
With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight  out from your sides and
hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full  minute, and then relax.
 
Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a  bit longer.
After a couple  of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.
 
Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and
hold your arms straight  for more than a full minute. (I'm at this  level.) 
 
After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on May 24, 2015, 04:59:05 PM
Alligator vs Car    ;D

http://www.vgtv.no/#!/video/112851/han-burde-ikke-ha-boellet-med-alligatoren

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on May 24, 2015, 05:09:28 PM
I believe the gator won that round ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on May 24, 2015, 05:45:15 PM
I believe the gator won that round ;D
That Gator may get work at a wrecking yard   ;D

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 27, 2015, 06:00:39 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1432742400624-26819.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ElbertJSpray on May 28, 2015, 10:19:34 AM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1432742400624-26819.png)

Hahahha true :D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: sergofun on May 28, 2015, 04:00:49 PM
bob3160, you've made my day :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 28, 2015, 07:04:45 PM
bob3160, you've made my day :)
Thanks. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on May 28, 2015, 08:18:10 PM
A good Pokemon related one: http://prntscr.com/7aeou3
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 28, 2015, 11:55:33 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1432849895709-98464.png)
There are always exceptions to every rule.
I'll be getting up and going to California on 6/8/2015 for some presentations
and a Computer Conference (http://www.theswcc.org/).
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on May 29, 2015, 09:13:47 PM

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
 
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
 
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
 
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
 
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
 
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
 
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
 
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
 
8. You can eat supper at 5 PM.
 
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
 
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
 
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
 
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
 
13. You sing along with elevator music.
 
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
 
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
 
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
 
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
 
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
 
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.


20. You probably need glasses to see this since it's not in large bold type.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on May 31, 2015, 06:23:01 PM
This site, my good friends, is so ugly, so over the top really, well apreciate the high quality webdesign, matter of taste  ;D
It is funny, go there and feel the ugliness of this site: http://www.lingscars.com/

pol
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on May 31, 2015, 06:38:43 PM
LOL... What is it with the hen walking the tight rope and the cat with the helmet ?  :o

I believe the advert should say "if you do not find there you will not find it anywhere else" The guy has everything ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on May 31, 2015, 06:42:24 PM
This site, my good friends, is so ugly, so over the top really, well apreciate the high quality webdesign, matter of taste  ;D
It is funny, go there and feel the ugliness of this site

pol
My eyes my eyes :o ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on May 31, 2015, 08:00:45 PM
This site, my good friends, is so ugly, so over the top really, well apreciate the high quality webdesign, matter of taste  ;D
It is funny, go there and feel the ugliness of this site: http://www.lingscars.com/

pol

God I've just worn out my scroll wheel on that home page; my eyes are wonky and I've got sun spots. Should come with free shades and a warning about strobing and epileptic fits.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on June 01, 2015, 06:44:33 PM
Irish computer virus   ;D     http://www.jokefile.co.uk/computer_jokes/irishvirus.html

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on June 03, 2015, 11:15:47 AM
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/112009/1257946416_banana_man.gif

:D :D :D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Michael (alan1998) on June 03, 2015, 02:43:00 PM
This was a good one
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 05, 2015, 09:32:02 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1433532538542-52884.png)
https://youtu.be/z_2Sk4I1vw4 (https://youtu.be/z_2Sk4I1vw4)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on June 11, 2015, 04:01:41 PM
If you want to frustrate someone tell them to watch this video.
Uh...there is no video. It just shows it's loading the whole time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amgxbEfTxtw&feature=iv&src_vid=psvkyf3PzjE&annotation_id=annotation_153131
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Eddy on June 13, 2015, 10:55:47 AM
(http://a38898d4011a160a051fb191.gearheads.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/1416531093884.jpg?e1be4f)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on June 13, 2015, 04:05:31 PM
LOL ;D Good one Eddy..!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 13, 2015, 04:08:21 PM
LOL ;D Good one Eddy..!
Wonder if your counterpart from the Chinese language forum would agree with you ??? :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on June 13, 2015, 04:35:02 PM
LOL ;D Good one Eddy..!
Wonder if your counterpart from the Chinese language forum would agree with you ??? :)
I'm pretty sure Bob. ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on June 13, 2015, 08:32:29 PM
Do not look at this or you won't eat another "nana":
https://www.youtube.com/embed/d54PyNN1EdU?autoplay=1&rel=0

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on June 16, 2015, 03:33:55 PM
so you want a HomeCinema but dont have the money   :-\

 here is the solution   ;D   

http://www.dramafever.com/news/how-to-make-a-private-home-theater-with-just-cardboard-and-your-smart-phone/
http://mashable.com/2015/06/02/japan-cardboard-theater/
http://twentytwowords.com/diy-private-movie-theater-made-from-box-and-phone-or-go-all-out-and-wear-one-on-your-face-9-pics/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qS6sOx7tRU

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on June 18, 2015, 11:00:15 PM
Urgent security warning!
(No, not mis-posted in wrong topic, read on ... this was passed along by my seniors' group).

You may encounter an incoming email entitled "Nude photos of Hillary Clinton".  Under no circumstances open this, or you will greatly regret it.  It contains:  nude photos of Hillary Clinton.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on June 19, 2015, 12:05:48 AM
Urgent security warning!
(No, not mis-posted in wrong topic, read on ... this was passed along by my seniors' group).

You may encounter an incoming email entitled "Nude photos of Hillary Clinton".  Under no circumstances open this, or you will greatly regret it.  It contains:  nude photos of Hillary Clinton.
Even Bill would think twice before opening such an email. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Eddy on June 19, 2015, 03:38:08 PM
Let's go phising
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on June 21, 2015, 06:38:38 PM
As this world clock info shows it seems everybody is on a serving of cola with chicken dumplings:
http://d3xt3r.com/tools/worldclock
Smile, it is not all that bad, there is a whole world out for you there.

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on June 21, 2015, 07:15:55 PM
As this world clock info shows it seems everybody is on a serving of cola with chicken dumplings:
http://d3xt3r.com/tools/worldclock
Smile, it is not all that bad, there is a whole world out for you there.

polonus

Some of those are quite interesting also.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on June 21, 2015, 08:26:26 PM
As this world clock info shows it seems everybody is on a serving of cola with chicken dumplings:
http://d3xt3r.com/tools/worldclock
Smile, it is not all that bad, there is a whole world out for you there.

polonus

Some of those are quite interesting also.

Yes, that's some fascinating Statistics.
The way the numbers were flying by for people dying worldwide, I was wondering if I was going to get this post finished. ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on June 26, 2015, 08:18:46 PM
Almost there: http://pplware.sapo.pt/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/ima433-1024x612.jpg
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on July 01, 2015, 03:43:24 PM
(https://tctechcrunch2011.files.wordpress.com/2015/06/cat-djs.gif?w=680)
(Thanks to Bill Mullins Tech Thoughts (https://billmullins.wordpress.com/2015/07/01/tech-thoughts-net-news-wednesday-edition-july-1-2015/))
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: wendy18 on July 01, 2015, 08:47:55 PM
I know this great story was posted in 2011 but, having only just found it, am very glad it is still visible. I haven't giggled so much for ages!! What a good job the Tazor was battery powered. Can't let myself imagine what could have happened if it was plugged into a power point. I'm pleased the cat didn't get it & I have now forgotten why I was looking on this forum in the first place LOL
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on July 03, 2015, 04:35:35 PM
Nice persiflage on the attitude of banks during the ongoing banking crisis -
"Aaaaaand... it’s gone!’ Southpark persiflage" see:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5a7dunZkrI
Very funny.

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on July 04, 2015, 10:20:48 PM
News From Elsewhere
Germany: WW2 Panther tank seized from pensioner's cellar

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-33381772 (http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-33381772)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on July 05, 2015, 06:18:04 PM
(http://p.fod4.com/p/media/6710238f74/vB2HEbtMRUSH1Rm4XM73_Dad-Foul-Catch.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on July 05, 2015, 07:00:12 PM
The idiot still cost the Cubs an out. I'm not a Cub fan but he's still an idiot.
If the fielder can make the play, let them.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on July 05, 2015, 07:02:47 PM
The idiot still cost the Cubs an out. I'm not a Cub fan but he's still an idiot.
If the fielder can make the play, let them.
He's also an idiot, cause he did it with a baby in his arm. :o
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on July 05, 2015, 07:05:10 PM
Maybe the Cubs should hire him. He seems to be better at catching than the outfielder.  ;)



Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on July 05, 2015, 07:07:21 PM
The idiot still cost the Cubs an out. I'm not a Cub fan but he's still an idiot.
If the fielder can make the play, let them.
He's also an idiot, cause he did it with a baby in his arm. :o

Somebody will be all over that for 'Child Abuse'
Yes pretty idiotic display
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on July 12, 2015, 06:29:09 PM
BACK OFF!

http://www.castanet.net/edition/news-story-143896-25-.htm#143896 (http://www.castanet.net/edition/news-story-143896-25-.htm#143896)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on July 13, 2015, 10:44:16 PM
(http://p.fod4.com/p/media/6710238f74/vB2HEbtMRUSH1Rm4XM73_Dad-Foul-Catch.gif)
Leave the guy alone. The baby was in no danger and if the ball is coming down in the stands, it's fair game for anyone and is not interference if a fan catches it. The real idiots are the Cubs fans who throw home run balls back on the field if they are hit by the opposing team. Come on, it's a game ball hit by a major league player (maybe even a star player) and you throw it back?  No way I'd ever do that.
Title: LOL!
Post by: ehmen on July 19, 2015, 04:51:08 AM
Want a good laugh? Watch this: Language problems. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN--gGkS8aU)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on July 20, 2015, 02:01:44 PM
https://www.facebook.com/elcircodelamega/videos/10152221376291006/

I want one of these.......
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on July 25, 2015, 01:19:38 PM
A very remarkable poem depending from what side you read it top down  or bottom up -
Do you feel like it?
Read: http://www.poetrynation.com/poem.php?id=50509

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on July 25, 2015, 02:35:21 PM
Choosing a wife!

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. So he gave each woman a present of $5000 and watched to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover.
She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much..

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.


"Then he married the one with the biggest tits"


Men are like that, you know.

And on another note!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on July 25, 2015, 03:03:39 PM
 ;D   ;D   ;D

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on July 25, 2015, 04:33:08 PM
@Craig.

I can't stop (http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0214.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on July 25, 2015, 04:36:20 PM
@Craig.
I can't stop (http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0214.gif)
+1 ;D 8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on July 26, 2015, 07:03:19 PM
Walter for president   ;D    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbok7_gZ4HA


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on July 26, 2015, 07:40:33 PM
Walter for president   ;D    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbok7_gZ4HA
Just what we need, another dummy in the Whitehouse. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on July 26, 2015, 09:23:38 PM
A very remarkable poem depending from what side you read it top down  or bottom up -
Do you feel like it?
Read: http://www.poetrynation.com/poem.php?id=50509

polonus

This is one poem that should be in every home.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on July 28, 2015, 04:10:19 AM
How good are you at Pool ? (https://goo.gl/photos/UgoJpTKfmJMpjFT56)
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1438049136514-22201.png) (https://goo.gl/photos/UgoJpTKfmJMpjFT56)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on July 28, 2015, 01:50:31 PM
My printer was giving me a problem so I called in a Tech:
https://goo.gl/photos/P3SiYaQEEepnCp2Z8 (https://goo.gl/photos/P3SiYaQEEepnCp2Z8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 01, 2015, 06:13:51 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1438445578089-32017.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 04, 2015, 05:27:57 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1438702027203-75546.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 04, 2015, 06:03:00 PM
Giant porn stash turned a Windows 10 upgrade into every man’s nightmare
http://bgr.com/2015/08/03/windows-10-porn-screensaver/

 ;D

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 04, 2015, 06:11:02 PM
You would be surprised how many people think that if they create a folder named Private, it is actually private. :)
Private, Secret, For My Eyes Only, etc have all revealed some interesting content when working on other peoples computers.


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 04, 2015, 07:09:54 PM
You would be surprised how many people think that if they create a folder named Private, it is actually private. :)
Private, Secret, For My Eyes Only, etc have all revealed some interesting content when working on other peoples computers.
yea, evryone will respect your privacy if you give folders name like that, not     8)

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on August 04, 2015, 07:23:08 PM
You would be surprised how many people think that if they create a folder named Private, it is actually private. :)
Private, Secret, For My Eyes Only, etc have all revealed some interesting content when working on other peoples computers.
yea, evryone will respect your privacy if you give folders name like that, not     8)
Secret here is to not update to Win 10 until you are ready.  No surprises.   8)

If you wait until you can do a clean install, even better.   ;D    Funny as heck.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 06, 2015, 02:06:42 PM
I had a hard time deciding just where this should go - Security warnings and Notices or this one. Whilst not totally funny or security based, a scam yes but also a warning not security based.

Just watch this video clip and you will see why it is both funny and a warning, the link is a bit of a give away ;D

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/video/man-sends-manure-online-scammers-022035859.html (https://uk.news.yahoo.com/video/man-sends-manure-online-scammers-022035859.html)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on August 06, 2015, 04:23:05 PM
I had a hard time deciding just where this should go - Security warnings and Notices or this one. Whilst not totally funny or security based, a scam yes but also a warning not security based.

Just watch this video clip and you will see why it is both funny and a warning, the link is a bit of a give away ;D

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/video/man-sends-manure-online-scammers-022035859.html (https://uk.news.yahoo.com/video/man-sends-manure-online-scammers-022035859.html)

 ;D  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on August 07, 2015, 01:41:40 AM
I had a hard time deciding just where this should go - Security warnings and Notices or this one. Whilst not totally funny or security based, a scam yes but also a warning not security based.

Just watch this video clip and you will see why it is both funny and a warning, the link is a bit of a give away ;D

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/video/man-sends-manure-online-scammers-022035859.html (https://uk.news.yahoo.com/video/man-sends-manure-online-scammers-022035859.html)

Good job! ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on August 07, 2015, 08:41:21 AM
I had a hard time deciding just where this should go - Security warnings and Notices or this one. Whilst not totally funny or security based, a scam yes but also a warning not security based.

Just watch this video clip and you will see why it is both funny and a warning, the link is a bit of a give away ;D

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/video/man-sends-manure-online-scammers-022035859.html (https://uk.news.yahoo.com/video/man-sends-manure-online-scammers-022035859.html)
Rather than send poop, send rotted fish which will create a mighty stink when the package is opened.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 07, 2015, 02:48:45 PM
I had a hard time deciding just where this should go - Security warnings and Notices or this one. Whilst not totally funny or security based, a scam yes but also a warning not security based.

Just watch this video clip and you will see why it is both funny and a warning, the link is a bit of a give away ;D

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/video/man-sends-manure-online-scammers-022035859.html (https://uk.news.yahoo.com/video/man-sends-manure-online-scammers-022035859.html)
Rather than send poop, send rotted fish which will create a mighty stink when the package is opened.

There might be laws about sending food, someone might eat it ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on August 08, 2015, 11:12:02 PM
Evolution of Windows: http://onthehub.com/evolution-of-windows/

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 09, 2015, 02:27:57 PM
Evolution of Windows: http://onthehub.com/evolution-of-windows/ (http://onthehub.com/evolution-of-windows/)

polonus
I was looking for something funny but am still looking. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on August 09, 2015, 02:42:06 PM
Hi bob3160,

Maybe the fun was in the word "Evolution" because that was the name of a Linux project, one of the software solutions that were created to bring the power of Linux to Windows users, and I thought that was funny.

Damian
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 09, 2015, 03:11:28 PM
Hi bob3160,

Maybe the fun was in the word "Evolution" because that was the name of a Linux project, one of the software solutions that were created to bring the power of Linux to Windows users, and I thought that was funny.

Damian

More funny peculiar, rather than funny, ha ha ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 10, 2015, 06:08:36 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1439222888967-17300.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 11, 2015, 05:27:19 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1439306806027-53916.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on August 14, 2015, 08:00:15 PM
The ability to make and understand puns is considered to be the highest level of language development.
Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest:

1. A vulture boards and airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.  The stewardess looks at him and says, “I'm sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says, “Dam!'
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.  Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One says, “I've lost my electron.”  The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I'm positive.”
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?  His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.  After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.  “But, why?”, they asked, as they moved off.  “Because,” he said, “I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
7. A woman delivers a set of identical twins and decides to give them up for adoption.  One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.”  The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.”  Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.  Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.  Her husband responds, “They're twins!  If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.”
8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.  Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.  He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.  He went back and begged the friars to close.  They ignored him.  So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to “persuade” the friars to close.  Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.  Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.  He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.  This made him (Oh dude, this is so bad, it's good….) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.

Which one is your favorite?

[EDIT:] Fixed formatting error.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on August 14, 2015, 08:37:59 PM
These must be hard for those who don't have English as their first language and probably some of those too ;)

I loved number 7, so that one worked.

Not sure how number 8 managed to get into the top 10.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on August 14, 2015, 08:42:27 PM
#4 is great. ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 14, 2015, 09:00:04 PM
#4 is great. ;D
Negative.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on August 14, 2015, 11:38:47 PM
These must be hard for those who don't have English as their first language and probably some of those too ;)

I loved number 7, so that one worked.

Not sure how number 8 managed to get into the top 10.

Only if learned in language school at home. If one learned a second language abroad, it is easy to find the double meaning ( pun ).

BTW I also like de twin joke with Juan and Ahmal  ;D On the other hand it does not matter if they are identical, mothers will always tell the differences between their children.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on August 17, 2015, 11:13:25 PM
10 Fun Facts!

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on August 20, 2015, 02:10:23 AM
Here's a solution to a problem some face:

(http://jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Funny-sock-cartoon.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: iroc9555 on August 20, 2015, 03:41:47 AM
Yeah !!! if there is no shark in that dryer that eats socks. I had one once. I hated that dryer >:(
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 21, 2015, 05:47:42 PM
Missing wife

A husband went to the police station to report that his wife was missing...
 
Husband:   My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant:   What is her height?

Husband:   Gee, I’m not sure. About five-feet four.

Sergeant:   Weight?
Husband:   Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:   Colour of eyes?

Husband:   Never really noticed, brown or green.

Sergeant:   Colour of hair?

Husband:   Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown.

Sergeant:   What was she wearing?

Husband:   Usually a skirt or slacks and a blouse or polo top. I don’t remember exactly.

Sergeant:   What kind of car did she go in?

Husband:   She took my sports coupe.

Sergeant:   What kind of sports coupe was it?
 
Husband:   Mercedes-Benz CL65 AMG 7G-Tronic finished In Magnetite Black Metallic with Black Soft-Leather  Electrically Adjustable and Heated AMG Front Sport Seats with Memory; Brushed Aluminium trim with Piano Black Cappings;  Unmarked 19" AMG Multispoke Alloy Wheels;  Tyre Pressure Monitoring;  Panoramic Glass Electric Tilt/Slide Sunroof;  COMAND Online with HDD Wide Screen Satellite Navigation;  Bluetooth Telephone Connectivity;  Multi-Media Interface for MP3, Ipod etc;  Superb Sound System With DAB and Harman-Kardon Sound Upgrade;  Leather Trimmed AMG Multi-Function Steering Wheel with Paddle Shift;   Parktronic Front and Rear Parking Sensors;  Parking Assist;  Attention Assist;  Speed Limit Assist;  Electrically adjustable, heated door Mirrors with Powerfold;    Electrically Adjustable Steering Column;  Bi-Xenon Headlights with Powerwash and Auto Activation;  LED Daytime Running Lights;  Cruise Control;  Rear Privacy Glass;  AMG Carpet Overmats...
 
At this point the husband starts choking up.....
 
Sergeant:   Don’t worry, mate. We’ll find your car...
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 21, 2015, 05:50:27 PM
Sex Research for The Innocent Women

The following information was gained through much arduous research involving men and women from all backgrounds and walks of life. It consists of the most often asked questions of women (i.e.. relationships, sex and life in general). All women who read this are encouraged to use the wisdom contained herein to change their behaviour in accordance with the truths established below.

Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex?
A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not emotionally confused like women.

Q: Should I have sex on the first date?
A: YES. Before if possible.

Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex?
A: This is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you should do whatever he tells you without question, no matter how strange it seems at first. You will soon get used to it.

Q: How long should the sex act last?
A: This is a natural & normal part of nature, so don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. After you've finished making love, he'll have a natural desire to leave you suddenly.  He may go out with his friends to play golf or perhaps go to the bar for the purpose of consuming large amounts of alcohol & sharing a few personal thoughts with his buddies. Don't feel left out - while he's gone you can busy yourself by doing the laundry, cleaning the house, doing some gardening or getting a nice meal prepared for him.  He'll come back when he's ready.

Q: What is "afterplay"?
A: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly energy.  For the woman "Afterplay" is simply a list of important activities for you to do after lovemaking. This includes lighting his cigarette, making him a sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers, or leaving him alone to sleep while you do your chores.

Q: Does the size of the penis matter?
A: Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity is important, studies show this is simply not true. The average erect male penis measures about 3 inches. Anything longer than that is extremely rare.  If by some chance your lover's sexual organ is 4 inches or over, you should go down on your knees, thank your lucky stars and do everything possible to please him.

Q: What about the female orgasm?
A: What about it? There's no such thing. It's a myth
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 21, 2015, 05:53:25 PM
Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel.

One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food-preparation area. It was exhausting work; the guys were getting tired just WATCHING.

Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders, and they had a brilliant idea:

They could sit on the boulders and watch!

This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 21, 2015, 05:59:45 PM
Quote
Sex Research for The Innocent Women
;D  ;D

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on August 21, 2015, 06:23:24 PM
@Craig
Your bloody killing me you bastard I can't stop (http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 21, 2015, 06:33:22 PM
I try to please :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on August 21, 2015, 06:48:50 PM
I try to please :)

Darn you your killing me (http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif) I wish I kick your bloody bare ARSE! you bastard! (http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 21, 2015, 09:46:19 PM
I'm still trying to find out who was more stupid.
The one asking the questions or the one answering them ???


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on August 22, 2015, 06:28:18 AM
I'm still trying to find out who was more stupid.
The one asking the questions or the one answering them ???

@Bob I couldn't stop laughing at the post by Craig called the 'Sex Research for The Innocent Women', because Craig was killing me really bad and my whole family keeps telling me why are you laughing so hard since my face went red. So I couldn't get a chance to tell them until I've stop laughing, and then I told them all and the whole house has been laughing like hell.

@Craig (http://dl.glitter-graphics.com/pub/1255/1255751bitdspvn9n.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 22, 2015, 09:21:43 AM
I'm still trying to find out who was more stupid.
The one asking the questions or the one answering them ???
Not your type of humour Bob! oh well cant win them all ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 22, 2015, 04:01:07 PM
I'm still trying to find out who was more stupid.
The one asking the questions or the one answering them ???
Not your type of humour Bob! oh well cant win them all ;D
Has  nothing to do with the type of humor. It has to do with the stupid answers.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 22, 2015, 05:56:06 PM
Has  nothing to do with the type of humor. It has to do with the stupid answers.
That's all part of the humor :P
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 22, 2015, 05:57:49 PM
Has  nothing to do with the type of humor. It has to do with the stupid answers.
That's all part of the humor :P
Sorry but stupidity and humor are two different topics. I will agree that there are many comedians who think their audience is stupid. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 22, 2015, 06:09:52 PM
As I already said, it's not your type of humour Bob, much humour is all about looking at the funny side of stupidity :) I think the English and Aussie's have a different sense of humour...you yanks are very dry  ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 22, 2015, 06:12:34 PM
As I already said, it's not your type of humour Bob, much humour is all about looking at the funny side of stupidity :) I think the English and Aussie's have a different sense of humour...you yanks are very dry  ;)
I simply don't find lies or misstating facts as something funny. Funny to be discussing humor since that in itself make the joke not funny.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on August 22, 2015, 06:19:06 PM
(http://dl.glitter-graphics.com/pub/3250/3250339hvdkcrzyct.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on August 22, 2015, 06:21:20 PM
@ CraigB

See https://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=85679.msg1095803#msg1095803
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 22, 2015, 06:22:55 PM
Lies and fact's! where do they have any standing in jokes/humour ::) you're from a different generation Bob and obviously have no understanding of nowadays humour.

If you don't like it Bob that's fine but you don't have to ruin a funny thread with your misconceptions.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 22, 2015, 06:25:57 PM
Lies and fact's! where do they have any standing in jokes/humour ::) you're from a different generation Bob and obviously have no understanding of nowadays humour.

If you don't like it Bob that's fine but you don't have to ruin a funny thread with your misconceptions.
The only difference age makes is gaining some extra wisdom and insight. I certainly haven't lost my humor.
And my opinion or your opinion in no way ruins this or any other thread. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 22, 2015, 06:26:48 PM
@ CraigB

See https://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=85679.msg1095803#msg1095803
See what? someone sitting in a bin...moderately funny but not quite "so funny I had to post" ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 22, 2015, 06:34:29 PM
A Man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire Life."

"Where's Tony Blair's clock?" asked the man.

"Tony's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 22, 2015, 06:38:23 PM
A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.  Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought turkey sandwiches every day!  This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a turkey sandwich.

He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eating turkey, don't you like it anymore?'

She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it.'

'Why?' he asked.

She pointed to her lap and said 'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!'

'Let me see' he said.

'Okay' and she showed him. 

He looked and said, 'That's right.  You are! Better not eat any more turkey.'

He kept eating his turkey sandwiches until one day he brought a peanut butter sandwich instead. He said to the little girl,

'I have to stop eating turkey sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!'
 
She asked if she could look, so he showed her!

She said, 'Oh, my God, it's too late for you!...You've already got the NECK and Giblets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 22, 2015, 06:40:23 PM
A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says. “We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they're getting divorced!” she shouts, “I'll take care of this!”

She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father “You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Sorted! They're coming for Christmas and they're paying their own way."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 22, 2015, 06:41:42 PM
THE WINE TASTER
 
At a winery, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position.
 
The director of the winery wondered how to send him away but decided to give him a glass to drink - he was bound to get it wrong.
 
The drunk tried it and said: 'It's a Muscat , three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acceptable.'
 
"That's correct", said the boss in amazement.
 
Another glass....
 
This is a Cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results'
 
Bloody 'ell he thought but replied "Correct."
 
A third glass...
 
"It's a Pinot Blanc Champagne , high grade and exclusive,'' the drunk said calmly.
 
The director was astonished.
 
He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something.
 
She left the room, and came back in with a glass of urine.
 
The alcoholic tried it,spit it out with revulsion and said "It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and if I don't get the job I'll name the father."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on August 22, 2015, 07:36:47 PM
@ CraigB

See https://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=85679.msg1095803#msg1095803
See what? someone sitting in a bin...moderately funny but not quite "so funny I had to post" ;)

You posted the same joke before.  ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 22, 2015, 07:40:35 PM
So I did, time for me to go to the HOS ( hall of shame ) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: insanetigger68 on August 22, 2015, 10:43:48 PM
Nearly coughed up a lung with this, it should come with a health warning LMAO Like a few people have said would have made no1 and lots of money lol
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on August 25, 2015, 12:34:38 AM
A nice possibly rigged game:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0wmuN52B3s
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: HDW38 on August 25, 2015, 10:55:39 AM
So I did, time for me to go to the HOS ( hall of shame ) ;D
+1  :)
I never heard about that, but sounds like HOF (hall of fame).  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 28, 2015, 04:39:07 PM
Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.

On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tell me about your staff," he asked Paddy.

"Well," said Paddy, "there's the farm hand, I pay him €240 a week, and he has a free cottage.

 Then there's the housekeeper. She gets €190 a week, along with free board and lodging.

Oh, nearly forgot, there's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about €25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife."

 

"That's disgraceful" said the inspector, "I need to interview the half-wit."

 

"That'll be me then," said Paddy
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on August 28, 2015, 04:48:43 PM
 ;D

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on August 29, 2015, 09:35:11 AM
@Craig

(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)

Your killing me again ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: tvtaddy7 on August 30, 2015, 10:45:10 AM
Too lengthy to read but in total it is great and awesome post.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: sergofun on August 31, 2015, 11:43:44 AM
CraigB, you've made my day ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on August 31, 2015, 12:02:45 PM
I'm glad you enjoyed them sergofun :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Staticguy on August 31, 2015, 12:16:04 PM
@CraigB: Mate that's freaking hilarious  ;D  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on August 31, 2015, 06:29:02 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1441042094594-21053.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 01, 2015, 02:21:12 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1441113638832-7493.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 01, 2015, 02:29:43 PM
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 01, 2015, 02:38:45 PM
(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://dl9.glitter-graphics.net/pub/3359/3359899szqjpvumya.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)

Why are you trying to kill me laughing so darn HARD! Craig
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on September 01, 2015, 07:18:34 PM
Ah...how times have changed.

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 01, 2015, 07:23:18 PM
The cat has really lucked out with mine mounted to the wall ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 02, 2015, 12:35:55 AM
The cat has really lucked out with mine mounted to the wall ;D
The cat or the TV ??? :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on September 02, 2015, 02:02:06 AM
Hope you never experience this:
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/b3/86/56/b38656990d26a430bf6007621febfcae.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 02, 2015, 07:16:07 AM
The cat has really lucked out with mine mounted to the wall ;D
The cat or the TV ??? :)
;D ;D ;D  :-X ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 02, 2015, 03:35:20 PM
1. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

2. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

3. Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP!

4. Bay all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

5. Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 02, 2015, 03:44:04 PM
3. Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP!
Wait till you get married and your name changes to "Be Quiet"  or "Get out of the Kitchen" or,
"When are you going to learn to put down the seat? "
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 02, 2015, 03:59:38 PM
Speedy, being in Australia you should know that all kids are called "bugger off" ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 02, 2015, 04:05:38 PM
Speedy, being in Australia you should know that all kids are called "bugger off" ;D

Not really, when I was a kid and I was told that all kids are called "Sh#t Head"  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 02, 2015, 04:08:39 PM
Ahh! you must have been special ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 02, 2015, 04:10:38 PM
Ahh! you must have been special ;D

No I wasn't special since I was called "Hey Stupid" ;)

(http://www.fortruthssake.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/stupid2.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 02, 2015, 04:15:50 PM
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 02, 2015, 04:16:20 PM
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/7f/c2/2e/7fc22e84259bfc250e549540eb07dd90.jpg)(http://www.graphics20.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Funny-Stupid-12.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 02, 2015, 04:22:23 PM
I see these freaks more and more every day when walking around the city, what were they thinking :o ::)

You wouldn't want to be standing near him when he blew his nose.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 02, 2015, 04:41:40 PM
Family guy fart match off
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvWIgRjb0Qs
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 02, 2015, 05:26:07 PM
Whoever wrote the text for the starving dog cant spell, I've never heard of straving :P
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on September 02, 2015, 05:30:16 PM
Whoever wrote the text for the starving dog cant spell, I've never heard of straving :P

Didn't you know dogs can't spell worth cr4p.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 02, 2015, 05:42:44 PM
Didn't you know dogs can't spell worth cr4p.
That one cant anyway ;D I wonder if the dog is related to Dobbie from the Harry Potter movie :-\ a very similar resemblance :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on September 03, 2015, 06:11:49 PM
I saw this and busted out laughing. My dog thought I was nuts.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 03, 2015, 06:17:43 PM
I saw this and busted out laughing. My dog thought I was nuts.
They make a cream just for that occasion....  :) :) :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 03, 2015, 06:23:55 PM
Talking from experience are we Bob :) the old pec's don't quite sit where they used too ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 03, 2015, 07:15:47 PM
Three smiling corpses are lying in a morgue in Perth.  A detective goes into the coroner's office to find out the cause of death.
The coroner walks over to the first dead man. "This is Chris", he says. "He died after winning $2 million on the lottery".
He then moves onto the second smiling corpse. "This is Johnny" the coroner says with a grin. "He died having vigorous sex with Ruby Smith".
Finally he moves onto the last smiling corpse. "This is Dennis", says the coroner. "He died after being struck by lightning".
"Then why in the hell was he smiling"? asked the detective
"Oh", says the coroner. "Our guess is he thought he was having his picture taken".
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 03, 2015, 08:40:44 PM
Talking from experience are we Bob :) the old pec's don't quite sit where they used too ;D
Mine are probably tighter than yours but that wasn't what the joke was about was it ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 04, 2015, 03:36:09 AM
Talking from experience are we Bob :) the old pec's don't quite sit where they used too ;D
Mine are probably tighter than yours but that wasn't what the joke was about was it ???
;D ;D ;D I doubt that very much ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 04, 2015, 09:43:46 AM
Talking from experience are we Bob :) the old pec's don't quite sit where they used too ;D
Mine are probably tighter than yours but that wasn't what the joke was about was it ???

Bob has something has shrunken so tight, that you really can't talk about it as an old pec's where it doesn't quite sit where they used too as you age day by day ;) ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 04, 2015, 09:48:59 AM
(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif) @Craig & Para-Noid
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 04, 2015, 02:03:28 PM

@ Speedy and Craig,I thought this topic was about funny things ?
Personal remarks and off color shouldn't be in this topic or we may not have this topic for much longer....  :(
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 04, 2015, 04:02:23 PM
It amazing to see American still doesn't know how to eat the Great Australian Vegemite correctly (http://dl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/742/742481rubaj90658.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)(http://dl10.glitter-graphics.net/pub/742/742480mp87kxcxgu.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)

Vegemite Taste Test Prank
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFQK1l7wOKw
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 04, 2015, 06:05:02 PM

@ Speedy and Craig,I thought this topic was about funny things ?
Personal remarks and off color shouldn't be in this topic or we may not have this topic for much longer....  :(
It is about funny things Bob, just because your sense of humour is lacking doesn't mean we all have to be "an old stick in the mud" you seem to like giving out the cheek where ever you seem fit so if some of it occasionally comes back your way then take it with a grain of salt.

As it's been mentioned before this is the "funnies topic", a sense of humour is a must and if you don't like matter then you don't have to contribute.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 04, 2015, 06:09:57 PM
It amazing to see American still doesn't know how to eat the Great Australian Vegemite correctly (http://dl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/742/742481rubaj90658.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)(http://dl10.glitter-graphics.net/pub/742/742480mp87kxcxgu.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)

Vegemite Taste Test Prank
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFQK1l7wOKw
No idea ::) ;D

I love me vegemite, just a thin layer on toast is the best :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 04, 2015, 06:33:42 PM

@ Speedy and Craig,I thought this topic was about funny things ?
Personal remarks and off color shouldn't be in this topic or we may not have this topic for much longer....  :(
It is about funny things Bob, just because your sense of humour is lacking doesn't mean we all have to be "an old stick in the mud" you seem to like giving out the cheek where ever you seem fit so if some of it occasionally comes back your way then take it with a grain of salt.

As it's been mentioned before this is the "funnies topic", a sense of humour is a must and if you don't like matter then you don't have to contribute.
Funnies don't include off color personal derogatory remarks. Keep it funny not off color.  :(


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 04, 2015, 06:44:08 PM
Derogatory remarks ??? sorry but I don't agree, you mentioned you knew a cream to fix that and I asked if you were speaking from personal experience since the pec's weren't where they used to be, try to find the humour in it and learn to laugh at yourself a bit Bob...humour comes in many form and the facts of life is something we should all see the funny side of.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 04, 2015, 06:52:55 PM
Derogatory remarks ??? sorry but I don't agree, you mentioned you knew a cream to fix that and I asked if you were speaking from personal experience since the pec's weren't where they used to be, try to find the humour in it and learn to laugh at yourself a bit Bob...humour comes in many form and the facts of life is something we should all see the funny side of.
Look at the picture you posted???
Does that have anything to do with a male body ???
As I've already mentioned, keep it funny not personal.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 04, 2015, 06:56:12 PM
For starters! I didn't post the picture so please get your facts straight, secondly! get a sense of humour ::)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 04, 2015, 06:59:40 PM
For starters! I didn't post the picture so please get your facts straight, secondly! get a sense of humour ::)
Who posted the picture doesn't matter it still clearly shows a Woman. Non of this personal off topic crap is in any way funny.
Get back on topic and keep your remarks general not personal. Thanks   
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 04, 2015, 07:06:15 PM
Get over it Bob, you need to toughen up a bit and stop sulking over something that was completely harmless.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 04, 2015, 08:22:55 PM
Get over it Bob, you need to toughen up a bit and stop sulking over something that was completely harmless.
Maybe it's you who needs to learn not to post that kind of crap ???

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 05, 2015, 04:01:53 AM
It's only you who seems to be sulking Bob ::) stop acting so pathetic and be a man about it.

If you'd like to put an end to this garbage then please stop posting  ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 05, 2015, 05:01:45 AM
Australian Woman Stops Croc Attack with Small Calibre Pistol

This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. What is the smallest calibre that you would trust to protect yourself?
This is a testimonial to the Beretta Jetfire .

Here is her story in her own words:

"I was out walking in the bush with my soon to be ex-husband. We had decided to divorce and we had met up to discuss our property settlement  and other divorce issues. We were walking along a path at the edge of a river when we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. crocodile which suddenly emerged from the murky water and began charging us with its large jaws wide open.

"She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.  If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 calibre pistol with me, I would not be here today!

"Just one shot to my estranged husband's kneecap was all it took. The croc got him easily and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.

"It's one of the best pistols in my collection!
 
Plus the amount I saved in lawyer fees was incredible."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 05, 2015, 05:03:40 AM
Somewhere in Ireland a teacher asks her class:
 

Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood's girlfriend?"

Young Paddy raises his hand and says "Trudy Glenn Miss”.

"No Paddy," says the teacher, "the answer is Maid Marion."

"But Miss, what about that song we used to sing"

"What song are you referring to young Paddy"

“Robin Hood, Robin Hood riding Trudy Glenn??"
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 05, 2015, 05:08:20 AM
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, " Where did you get such a great looking bike? "

The second engineer replied," Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,  " Take what you want”.

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, " Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 05, 2015, 06:05:52 AM
@Craig (http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)

And Bob I'll keep my (http://dl8.glitter-graphics.net/pub/1787/1787348n50xqcokr6.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com) just for you (http://yoursmiles.org/csmile/wink/c0581.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on September 05, 2015, 10:54:36 AM
It amazing to see American still doesn't know how to eat the Great Australian Vegemite correctly (http://dl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/742/742481rubaj90658.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)(http://dl10.glitter-graphics.net/pub/742/742480mp87kxcxgu.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)

Vegemite Taste Test Prank
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFQK1l7wOKw
An Aussie woman once sent me some vegemite and I have to say, there is NO correct way to eat that stuff !  I wound up using it for wheel bearing grease.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 05, 2015, 11:01:56 AM
It amazing to see American still doesn't know how to eat the Great Australian Vegemite correctly (http://dl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/742/742481rubaj90658.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)(http://dl10.glitter-graphics.net/pub/742/742480mp87kxcxgu.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)

Vegemite Taste Test Prank
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFQK1l7wOKw
An Aussie woman once sent me some vegemite and I have to say, there is NO correct way to eat that stuff !  I wound up using it for wheel bearing grease.

Dch48 that's a shame for wasting Great Australian Vegemite for wheel bearing grease, otherwise you're upsetting a lot of Aussie (http://yoursmiles.org/msmile/sad/m1520.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/msmile/sad/m1524.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on September 05, 2015, 12:15:35 PM
I first met with these sort of food-pastes in the UK when I fist went there in 1975. On the table we saw Marmite.
(Since 2000 it is an Anglo-Dutch product).
So I think the whole tradition stems from the "old country", that is the United Kingdom..

What Americans do with it is yet unknown to me.  :o

Marmite was founded in the same year  my mother was born  in the year 1902 .  Personally I like other food spreads but everyone tells it is healthy to consume Marmite.

It is short for an opinion maker, so either "Love it or hate it - who is the forum's marmite here?"  ;D

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 05, 2015, 12:24:51 PM

who is the forum's marmite here?"  ;D


My bloody mother as a pommy who loves marmite and vegemite while she not a member of the forum ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on September 05, 2015, 01:46:09 PM
Hi Speedy PC, but the source of it all was Mr. Liebig and a wonderful kitchen herb that inspired him  called "lavas" "lovage", levisticum officinale, re: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lovage.
My auntie who lived until well in her eighties, had an unbelievably high blood-pleasure, as she wanted her soups and meals  with quite some drops of the liquid aroma invented by "Julius Maggi", briny salty naturally. But we all came to grow up with it.
In Surinam every meal comes with their special "condimentos maggi pollo". They have a special factory there and also the Chinese love this condiment grand time! Personally I love Surinam peanut butter sauce on chips (french fries) and with chicken nuggets, it contains tamarinde as a spice and it is far better in taste than all the local Dutch varieties.

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bowielover62 on September 06, 2015, 05:09:56 AM
OMG!!!  TOO FUNNY!!!  Leave it to a man, that's home alone, with absolutely nothing to do!  My husband would do the same thing!!!  CURIOSITY, YA KNOW???!!!  LOL!!!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on September 06, 2015, 03:55:34 PM
Tom Brady's mistress was found dead. She was an inflatable sex doll named Amelia Airhead. Brady denies knowledge of the event.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on September 06, 2015, 05:21:36 PM
Seems to reside in Sydney, as I found the profile of Amelia Airhead by Jim and David Lyall rather flat  ;D

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 06, 2015, 05:22:59 PM
It's called a deflated ego.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 06, 2015, 05:26:54 PM
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on September 06, 2015, 07:31:05 PM
Tom Brady's mistress was found dead. She was an inflatable sex doll named Amelia Airhead. Brady denies knowledge of the event.

Is there a court case pending?  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on September 06, 2015, 08:39:28 PM
If you are in AUS, be carefull before you do number 2   ;D

http://www.vg.no/nyheter/utenriks/utrolige-historier/fant-kjempeslange-i-toalettet/a/23519310/

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 07, 2015, 06:44:25 AM
Man! I can't stand snakes chasing me all the time, no wonder I still missed Sylvester when he wasn't around :-\
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 07, 2015, 01:15:52 PM
Carpet pythons love little mice Speedy ;D I'd much rather him around the house though than all the Tiger snakes that are waking up at the moment.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 07, 2015, 01:47:13 PM
Carpet pythons love little mice Speedy ;D I'd much rather him around the house though than all the Tiger snakes that are waking up at the moment.

(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/tongue/b0914.gif) Eat Me!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 08, 2015, 07:36:30 PM
Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.

The judge says, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I’ll see you back in court Monday.
 
” On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, “How did you do over the weekend?”

“Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.”

“Seventeen people? That’s wonderful How did you do it? ”

 “I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o.

Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs.”

“That’s admirable,” says the judge.

Then he turns to the second guy. “And how did you do?”

“Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever.”

“Wow!” says the judge. “156 people! How did you manage to do that?”

“Well, I used a similar diagram,” the guy says

 “I drew two circles like this: o O.

I then pointed to the little circle and said, ‘This is your butt before prison... ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on September 09, 2015, 08:23:27 AM
(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0201.gif)(http://yoursmiles.org/bsmile/fun/b0232.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 10, 2015, 06:41:50 PM
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he must marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.
With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.

Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunningly, gorgeous daughters who positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.

The farmer replied, 'They're looking to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want.'

The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.

'Well,' said the man, 'she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed.'

The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter. The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.

'Well, the man replied, 'she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell....overweight.'

The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, She’s perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry.'

So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born.

When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine.

He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

'Well,' explained the farmer, 'She was just a weeeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell... pregnant when you met her.'
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 10, 2015, 09:35:55 PM
Reminds me of the Virus and Worms Forum.
Some of the systems are just a weeeee bit, not that you could tell.... infected. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on September 11, 2015, 03:09:27 AM
In a recent Canadian Football League game, Rabbit scores a touch down and does the victory dance.
These CFL players have nothing on this rabbit. ;D
http://cfl.ca/video/index/id/115883 (http://cfl.ca/video/index/id/115883)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on September 13, 2015, 06:37:04 PM
In a recent Canadian Football League game, Rabbit scores a touch down and does the victory dance.
These CFL players have nothing on this rabbit. ;D
http://cfl.ca/video/index/id/115883 (http://cfl.ca/video/index/id/115883)
Nice, the video won't play in IE though, I had to use Chrome.  The jump at the end is awesome.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 13, 2015, 06:52:55 PM
In a recent Canadian Football League game, Rabbit scores a touch down and does the victory dance.
These CFL players have nothing on this rabbit. ;D
http://cfl.ca/video/index/id/115883 (http://cfl.ca/video/index/id/115883)
Nice, the video won't play in IE though, I had to use Chrome.  The jump at the end is awesome.
It played in Edge. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 13, 2015, 06:53:06 PM
Nice, the video won't play in IE though, I had to use Chrome.  The jump at the end is awesome.
Plays fine with IE11 for me.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on September 14, 2015, 01:04:41 AM
In a recent Canadian Football League game, Rabbit scores a touch down and does the victory dance.
These CFL players have nothing on this rabbit. ;D
http://cfl.ca/video/index/id/115883 (http://cfl.ca/video/index/id/115883)
Nice, the video won't play in IE though, I had to use Chrome.  The jump at the end is awesome.
It played in Edge. :)
I just tried it again in IE 11 on Windows 10. It just has a blank white space where the video would be. I tried it in Edge and the same thing, no video. The Flash player is turned on too. It only works in Chrome.

Update:  It works in IE 11 if I view the site in Compatibility view. It only works in Edge if Adobe Flash Player is set to off.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 15, 2015, 06:49:34 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1442335742606-99390.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 18, 2015, 03:38:06 PM

Something to think about:
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”


–       Ernest Hemingway
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on September 20, 2015, 01:13:53 PM
So funny how choice now seems to be a complete illusion - all bears down to 10 big players owning all the brands in the shop.
Game over when there is no more competition?  8)
See link: http://cdn5.img.sputniknews.com/images/102718/00/1027180031.jpg  (click image to enlarge)

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on September 20, 2015, 01:45:24 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/N31UBIa.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on September 20, 2015, 04:02:37 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/N31UBIa.jpg)

Meals on wheels ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 20, 2015, 04:11:11 PM
Got to catch it first....
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on September 20, 2015, 05:46:51 PM
He wants revenge for what gypsies did to his kin  ;D

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 21, 2015, 05:48:02 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1442850402924-7020.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 21, 2015, 06:29:05 PM
I like that one Bob ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 22, 2015, 05:32:35 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1442935910536-60842.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on September 22, 2015, 11:05:07 PM
The nonsense of worrying, see attached.  :)

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 25, 2015, 07:09:43 AM
THE AUSSIE VERSION OF CREATION

In the beginning God created day and night.

He created day for footy matches, going to the beach, and BBQ's.

He created night for going prawning, sleeping, and BBQ's.

On the Second Day, God created water for surfing, swimming, and BBQ's on the beach,

On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants to provide malt and yeast for beer and wood for BBQs,

On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans, for chops, sausages, steak and prawns for BBQ's.

On the Fifth day God created a Bloke to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at BBQ's, and God saw that it was good.

On the Sixth Day God saw that the Bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with.

So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good Blokes.

On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes.

He smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns and God Saw that it was good .. ...

Well..... Almost good.....

He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest.

So God created Sheilas to clean the house, to bear children, to wash, to cook and to clean the Barbie, and then God saw that it was not just good....

It was Bloody Awesome!

IT WAS AUSTRALIA !!!!!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: nanajana on September 25, 2015, 04:17:15 PM
Politicians - Always good for a laugh!

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
~Jay Leno~
 
The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
~Henry Cate, VII~
 
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
~Aesop~
 
If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these Election speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.
~Will Rogers~
 
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
~Nikita Khrushchev~

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President, Prime Minister or Premier; I'm beginning to believe it.
~Clarence Darrow~

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.
~Author unknown~
 
Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
~John Quinton~
 
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
~Oscar Ameringer~

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.
~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952~
 
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
~ Tex Guinan~
 
I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
~Charles de Gaulle~

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
~Doug Larson~

There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on senators.
~Will Rogers~
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 25, 2015, 06:24:17 PM
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for his client.

His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'.  And on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go up stairs and give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.

He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!'
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on September 25, 2015, 10:27:20 PM
(http://www.funnfun.in/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/facebook-addiction-funny-cartoon-joke.jpg)
(http://twinpossible.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/babyfun4.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on September 28, 2015, 06:50:18 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1443458980773-86591.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on September 29, 2015, 07:47:09 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/MpqAR7V.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 30, 2015, 07:51:31 AM
The girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"

"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b, c, d, e, f, g!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"

"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"

"No, it's because you're 25."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on September 30, 2015, 05:22:12 PM
Student Nurse...

An old fighter pilot is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' the old fighter pilot mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The pilot slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much". That was very nice. Now listen very, very closely and read my lips: "Are - my - test - results - back" ?
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on October 03, 2015, 03:22:20 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/mICerMq.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on October 03, 2015, 04:12:10 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/7YRDs8Y.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on October 08, 2015, 06:58:53 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/71HU5ey.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 08, 2015, 07:10:44 PM
What am I missing ??? What's so funny ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on October 08, 2015, 07:21:13 PM
What am I missing ??? What's so funny ???

A windows BSOD in a very unusual location.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on October 08, 2015, 08:05:52 PM
How about this one? :)

https://www.facebook.com/natocvideo.cz/videos/871086499642972/
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: mchain on October 08, 2015, 08:15:19 PM
What am I missing ??? What's so funny ???

A windows BSOD in a very unusual location.
Looks as if it is projected onto the stairs.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Simion on October 09, 2015, 12:54:04 AM
How about this one? :)

https://www.facebook.com/natocvideo.cz/videos/871086499642972/

LOL I hope there was at least a good tail wind! :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on October 09, 2015, 08:00:46 AM
Dog offended and confused by man's perfect impression
http://pickle.ninemsn.com.au/2015/02/25/15/06/dog-offended-and-confused-by-mans-perfect-impression
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on October 09, 2015, 06:37:01 PM
During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says:- "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."

The lady starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor.

"No! No! Don't remove your clothes... Just stick out your tongue!"
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on October 09, 2015, 06:39:45 PM
I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"

One of them chirped saying, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!"

So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry, are you two whales from Ireland ?"
 
That's pretty much the last thing I remember :P
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on October 12, 2015, 02:30:03 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/s0bnH2A.jpg)

Bad luck....
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on October 20, 2015, 09:34:01 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/LtYwiiD.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on October 20, 2015, 10:27:39 PM
Like some people I know, some things have their own way! ::) ;D

http://www.castanet.net/edition/news-story-150050-25-.htm#150050 (http://www.castanet.net/edition/news-story-150050-25-.htm#150050)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 21, 2015, 01:36:06 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/LtYwiiD.jpg)
It's our own fault. Stop blocking those cookies and they wouldn't have to
resort to theses tactics. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on October 21, 2015, 02:45:29 AM
It's our own fault. Stop blocking those cookies and they wouldn't have to
resort to theses tactics. :)
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/03/bc/0b/03bc0bb1a317da2331150459090bb498.jpg)




(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/63/8b/e8/638be85e137e1fe1cc98f5bbfd31063d.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on October 21, 2015, 04:47:07 PM
I have my own Cookie Monster to eat my cookies.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 22, 2015, 06:43:40 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1445532039880-29568.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on October 23, 2015, 10:07:07 PM
Someone got a interesting message on his computer:
(http://www.picschamp.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/it-geek-jokes-funny-message-prompt-get-a-life-funny-pinoy-jokes-photos-500x277.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 28, 2015, 02:30:55 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1446038996727-5544.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on October 28, 2015, 10:42:02 PM
Spelled on the label: "public water source"
What we feared all the time, now being confirmed. PepsiCo purified water brand comes from the tap,
but costs you 200 times more: http://abcnews.go.com/Business/story?id=3428260&page=1
Would you believe this....

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on October 29, 2015, 12:07:52 AM
Spelled on the label: "public water source"
What we feared all the time, now being confirmed. PepsiCo purified water brand comes from the tap,
but costs you 200 times more: http://abcnews.go.com/Business/story?id=3428260&page=1
Would you believe this....

polonus

This certainly isn't the first occasion this has occurred. In the UK many years ago this happened bottled tap water sold under a posh name - I can't recall the major company name now, but it was one of the major players.

For those that watched Only Fools & Horses, it had an episode where Dell Boy was selling bottled tap water as Peckham Spring to the Yuppies.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on October 29, 2015, 12:18:10 AM
(http://www.prelovac.com/vladimir/wp-content/gallery/work/work-joke-06.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on October 29, 2015, 05:39:35 AM
Spelled on the label: "public water source"
What we feared all the time, now being confirmed. PepsiCo purified water brand comes from the tap,
but costs you 200 times more: http://abcnews.go.com/Business/story?id=3428260&page=1
Would you believe this....

polonus

This certainly isn't the first occasion this has occurred. In the UK many years ago this happened bottled tap water sold under a posh name - I can't recall the major company name now, but it was one of the major players.

For those that watched Only Fools & Horses, it had an episode where Dell Boy was selling bottled tap water as Peckham Spring to the Yuppies.
All bottled water is just a scam, by the time it's been put through filtration - chlorination - fluoride - Ozone antibacterial treatments and in some cases de-salination it's no different than tap water.

It always makes me laugh at restaurants where some fool will pay $10 or more for a bottle of Evian or some Tasmanian rain water ::) it all has to be treated in the same way by law which makes it all the same as tap water, even if it did come from some 40000 year old mountain spring ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on October 29, 2015, 05:52:54 AM
Spelled on the label: "public water source"
What we feared all the time, now being confirmed. PepsiCo purified water brand comes from the tap,
but costs you 200 times more: http://abcnews.go.com/Business/story?id=3428260&page=1
Would you believe this....

polonus

This certainly isn't the first occasion this has occurred. In the UK many years ago this happened bottled tap water sold under a posh name - I can't recall the major company name now, but it was one of the major players.

For those that watched Only Fools & Horses, it had an episode where Dell Boy was selling bottled tap water as Peckham Spring to the Yuppies.
All bottled water is just a scam, by the time it's been put through filtration - chlorination - fluoride - Ozone antibacterial treatments and in some cases de-salination it's no different than tap water.

It always makes me laugh at restaurants where some fool will pay $10 or more for a bottle of Evian or some Tasmanian rain water ::) it all has to be treated in the same way by law which makes it all the same as tap water, even if it did come from some 40000 year old mountain spring ;D

OT: I was told that all bottle of water is 100% rip-off and it all (http://smileys.newbeginningsnetwork.com/piwigo/galleries/RUDE_ADULT/shit/bullshit-bs-smiley-emoticon.gif) because your better off drinking tap from your own home just refill your water bottle before you leave the house.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 29, 2015, 10:26:35 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1446157513183-12268.png)
It's a changing world.  :'(
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on October 30, 2015, 07:27:30 PM
(http://www.glasbergen.com/wp-content/gallery/software/bizcom73.gif)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(http://www.glasbergen.com/wp-content/gallery/cartoons/toon-1821.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on October 30, 2015, 10:41:03 PM
(http://www.glasbergen.com/wp-content/gallery/software/bizcom73.gif)

-snip
Sounds like a politician giving voters advice!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on November 01, 2015, 04:21:34 PM
(http://www.glasbergen.com/wp-content/gallery/cartoons/toon815.gif)
(http://www.glasbergen.com/wp-content/gallery/cartoons/toon636.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 02, 2015, 09:15:59 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1446495299623-63581.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Aphis on November 03, 2015, 04:50:20 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1446157513183-12268.png)
It's a changing world.  :'(

great that the kids are getting more and more tech-savvy imo  ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 03, 2015, 04:53:24 PM
The problem is that the parent's aren't as tech savvy as the kids. :)
Keep in mind that virtual exercise just doesn't cut it! 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 03, 2015, 07:56:50 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1446576926149-83662.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on November 04, 2015, 12:55:22 AM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1446576926149-83662.png)
(http://www.commonsenseevaluation.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Learn-From-Our-Mistakes.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: -midnight on November 04, 2015, 01:45:11 AM
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.

"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"

"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.

"Can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.

"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."

"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun essayed.

"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster nun."

"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not 'spinsters.' They are married to God."

"Wonderful," said Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law."
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on November 05, 2015, 12:28:57 AM
(http://www.debrafine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/email-mistake-cartoon.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Eddy on November 05, 2015, 01:38:11 AM
Deborah at work (multi-tasking) ?
Lets see...

1]
Cup is empty.

2]
She placed it in front of the telephone cable so no-one can see that she cut it.

3]
With her left hand she is pretending to type, but look at the screen...
The laptop isn't even turned on !

4]
Look at her eyes and what she is looking at..
Indeed, the suitcase!
What is that doing next to her desk anyway while she is supposed to be working?

https://blog.avast.com/tag/vpn/
(https://blog.avast.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/business-travel-sm.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 11, 2015, 05:33:59 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1447259541173-16205.png)
To me it looks more like "crowd de-funding"
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Eddy on November 11, 2015, 05:54:41 PM
On the avast website I found a page where the links are not working, so I submitted a ticket to tell them.

The response from customer support:
Perform a repair of avast ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 11, 2015, 05:59:39 PM
On the avast website I found a page where the links are not working, so I submitted a ticket to tell them.

The response from customer support:
Perform a repair of avast ???
Sounds like Customer Support needs to be added to the Improvement section.  :'(
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 12, 2015, 07:18:42 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1447352054852-6628.png)
I did that when asked to do some cleaning in the computer room.
(Alice also wasn't very pleased with the results. ) :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Asyn on November 13, 2015, 06:16:43 AM
I did that when asked to do some cleaning in the computer room.
(Alice also wasn't very pleased with the results. ) :)
;D 8)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Eddy on November 13, 2015, 06:39:21 AM
Guess who is sleeping in that room and not next to Alice the next couple of weeks ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on November 15, 2015, 04:37:03 AM
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/53/70/f4/5370f4039d2e1783d6afd4b21ba9a79e.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on November 16, 2015, 08:26:45 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/Wc2lmo9.png)

Thats how you can get to know that someone has issues with you :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 17, 2015, 06:42:19 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1447782081516-11402.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on November 18, 2015, 03:24:35 AM
(http://cdn.ttgtmedia.com/digitalguide/images/Misc/helpdeskDave.jpg)
(http://www.brucesallan.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Human-Error-and-Computers.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on November 18, 2015, 03:40:13 PM
Don’t Mess With Senior Citizens


A married couple is travelling by car from California to New York.

Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it’s a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the ‘standard rate’. He insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for us to use.

“But we didn’t use them,” the husband said.

“Well, they are here, and you could have,” explained the Manager.

The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here,” the Manager says.

“But we didn’t go to any of those shows,” the husband said.

“Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, “But we didn’t use it!”

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn’t have the check book, he asked his wife to write the check.

She did and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. “But ma’am, this is made out for only $50.00.”

“That’s correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me,” she replied.

“But I didn’t!” exclaims the Manager.

“Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.”

Don’t mess with senior citizens… They didn’t get there by being stupid.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on November 18, 2015, 11:06:40 PM
(http://www.indiaonrent.com/forwards/i/information-technology-funny-cartoons/res/lupyxe.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on November 18, 2015, 11:16:57 PM
@ CraigB That is one of your better ones!  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on November 19, 2015, 04:10:42 AM
@ CraigB That is one of your better ones!  ;D ;D ;D
Is that because it had no non-comprehendible Aussie slang ;)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on November 19, 2015, 03:18:44 PM
@ CraigB That is one of your better ones!  ;D ;D ;D
Is that because it had no non-comprehendible Aussie slang ;)

Probably.  ::)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Eddy on November 19, 2015, 03:24:41 PM
No wonder things on the website aren't working with "people" like that in the IT department.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on November 19, 2015, 07:18:07 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/wMW71K3.jpg)
Im right with you guys, just a minute!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on November 20, 2015, 06:19:13 PM
If you have to, you can do it with style      :D

THE WORLD'S 10 BEST PUBLIC TOILETS FOR 2015  http://www.designcurial.com/news/public-toilet-architecture---10-of-the-best-2-4719038/

and the winner is right here .... no i have not tried it    ;D
Quote
For want of a more spectacular view, this public toilet in Norway surely takes the cake.


Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on November 25, 2015, 01:47:16 AM
(http://jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Funny-cartoon-Anger-management.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 25, 2015, 01:09:01 PM
(http://jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Funny-cartoon-Anger-management.jpg)
That's one way to take all the fun out of the game. :)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Para-Noid on November 28, 2015, 03:44:04 PM
Some kids are born for genius.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8EdXJZwJIo
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: CraigB on November 29, 2015, 04:28:40 PM
Levels Of Stress

(http://i.imgur.com/hZ0cvoe.png)
 
You pick up a hitchhiker...   A beautiful girl.
Suddenly she faints inside your truck and you take her to the hospital.

Now that's stressful.
 
(http://i.imgur.com/RGg4qfH.png)
 
But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant & congratulate you that you're going to be a father.
You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are.

This is getting very stressful!

(http://i.imgur.com/mV6STsG.png)
 
You request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father.

(http://i.imgur.com/WgMOugq.png)
 
After the tests are completed, the doctor says the test shows you're infertile, and probably have been since birth.

You're extremely stressed but relieved.

(http://i.imgur.com/iE0Aqsa.png)
 
On your way back, you think about your 3 kids at home.
 
Now – that’s what you call stress
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: SpeedyPC on November 30, 2015, 07:26:07 AM
Obituary - Absolutely Brilliant  I don't know where to post this so I just place it here ;)


Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
 
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
 
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
 
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
 
Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.
 
He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing
 
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
 
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Dch48 on November 30, 2015, 10:33:21 PM
Obituary - Absolutely Brilliant  I don't know where to post this so I just place it here ;)


Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
 
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
 
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
 
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
 
Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.
 
He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing
 
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
 
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
That's all too true to be funny.  :(
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on November 30, 2015, 11:28:14 PM
Obituary - Absolutely Brilliant  I don't know where to post this so I just place it here ;)


Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
<snip>
Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.
 
He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing
 
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
 
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
That's all too true to be funny.  :(

Totally true in this country, UK.
Everyone keeps banging on about 'it's my (human) right' but no one mentions other peoples rights, nor do they mention with rights come responsibilities.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on November 30, 2015, 11:59:23 PM
@David,
With rights come responsibilities is something we learned some ages ago.
Unfortunately the many of the younger generation interpreted that to mean:
It is your responsibility to grant me the right to get something for nothing.  :(
 
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 01, 2015, 01:37:27 AM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1448930191876-67768.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 02, 2015, 03:33:52 PM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1449066616744-92593.png)
This is my next door neighbors dog.
He's got more fur than a fur coat.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: ehmen on December 03, 2015, 04:52:05 AM
(http://www.userfriendly.org/cartoons/archives/05apr/uf007802.gif)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: schmidthouse on December 03, 2015, 05:16:30 AM
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1448930191876-67768.png)

 ;D ;D ;D
Very funny!
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on December 03, 2015, 08:07:46 PM
(http://i.imgbox.com/Dg68pXpQ.jpg)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 09, 2015, 02:36:18 PM
Even a serious topic on this forum can sometimes reveal some humor:
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1449668145085-59147.png)
https://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=180208.msg1275033#msg1275033
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on December 09, 2015, 03:29:58 PM
Even a serious topic on this forum can sometimes reveal some humor:
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1449668145085-59147.png)
https://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=180208.msg1275033#msg1275033

Love to be a fly on the wall when that confrontation goes down - possibly literally.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 09, 2015, 03:34:24 PM
Even a serious topic on this forum can sometimes reveal some humor:
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1449668145085-59147.png)
https://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=180208.msg1275033#msg1275033 (https://forum.avast.com/index.php?topic=180208.msg1275033#msg1275033)

Love to be a fly on the wall when that confrontation goes down - possibly literally.
It would certainly be a YouTube overnight sensation....
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Pondus on December 11, 2015, 04:58:32 PM
Monkey Sees A Magic Trick   ;D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIxYCDbRGJc

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: DavidR on December 11, 2015, 05:40:22 PM
Monkey Sees A Magic Trick   ;D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIxYCDbRGJc

Saw that yesterday, amazing, if that was a human it would be a good old belly laugh. A real RollingOnFloor LaughingMyAssOff.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on December 12, 2015, 08:30:50 PM
A free app to change any Trump found into a Voldemort-alias: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/trump2voldemort/afaegmcdokcokkbaijmchbnocnfpmibn?hl=en-US&gl=US
Developed by Sarah Xiyi Chen

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 12, 2015, 08:32:49 PM
A free app to change any Trump found into a Voldemort-alias: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/trump2voldemort/afaegmcdokcokkbaijmchbnocnfpmibn?hl=en-US&gl=US (https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/trump2voldemort/afaegmcdokcokkbaijmchbnocnfpmibn?hl=en-US&gl=US)
Developed by Sarah Xiyi Chen

polonus
4
I thought this was meant for funny stuff. Not politics ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on December 13, 2015, 12:25:11 AM
I gave as I found it mentioned by one of our big Dutch general newspapers.
You could hardly take such an app seriously, could you?
Thought it was meant to be a free funny app.,
else I think Google would not have allowed it into their official Google Web Shop,
when they fel it was stepping over the line of being politically biased.
Well whenever you feel that it is, you could ask them to have it removed.

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 13, 2015, 08:23:52 PM

The Best News Bloopers Of 2015
(http://www.screencast-o-matic.com/screenshots/u/Lh/1450034608327-53091.png)
http://digg.com/video/best-news-bloopers-2015

Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on December 14, 2015, 11:49:37 AM
LOL Microsoft:

(http://i.imgur.com/hIP3DEq.png)
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 14, 2015, 03:18:24 PM
@ Steve,
I fail to see the humor ???
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: Secondmineboy on December 14, 2015, 03:20:06 PM
@ Steve,
I fail to see the humor ???

They dont give you any option to say no.

Just now or later.

PS: My name is not steve, thats just how Windows calls me in my file system for whatever reason.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: polonus on December 15, 2015, 12:59:24 AM
When you do not see the humour, you are ready to download Win 10  ;D

polonus
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: MikeBCda on December 15, 2015, 09:05:33 PM
Pardon the serious aside here, which probably belongs in a more appropriate topic.  MS has been pushing Win 10 so hard that for the last few months, each Update Tuesday I've had to check out the "more info" (bulletin) link for each and every offered update for references to "facilitating upgrading to 10".  Any such update I untick and hide, which seems to be the only workable defense ... we're almost back into the age of EULAs with sneaky small-print clauses.
Title: Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
Post by: bob3160 on December 15, 2015, 10:45:11 PM
Pardon the serious aside here, which probably belongs in a more appropriate topic.  MS has been pushing Win 10 so hard that for the last few months, each Update Tuesday I've had to check out the "more info" (bulletin) link for each and every offered update for references to "facilitating upgrading to 10".  Any such update I untick and hide, which seems to be the only workable defense ... we're almost back into the age of EULAs with