Author Topic: So funny I had to post  (Read 718800 times)

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Offline MikeBCda

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #105 on: January 13, 2012, 08:54:19 PM »
Back before I reached the "magic" age of 65, I was getting both government and private disability benefits for my brain injury.  One of my favorite excuses for not remembering things was "Between my age and my head injury ...". Since my disability ended at 65 (the government portion automatically converted to old-age benefits), I suppose I can no longer use the second half of that excuse?   8) ;D
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #106 on: January 13, 2012, 09:41:24 PM »
As a person who long ago suffered from a brain aneurysm, I haven't used that excuse for a long time.
I do however blame most of my recovery on my computer and this forum for making my brain
work hard at recovery.  :)
(I also thank God every day for allowing me continue to enjoy life!  :) )
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Offline YoKenny

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #107 on: January 14, 2012, 12:16:26 AM »
As a person who long ago suffered from a brain aneurysm, I haven't used that excuse for a long time.
I do however blame most of my recovery on my computer and this forum for making my brain
work hard at recovery.  :)
(I also thank God every day for allowing me continue to enjoy life!  :) )
Plus a supportive wife that lets you travel a lot.
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #108 on: January 14, 2012, 12:25:03 AM »
As a person who long ago suffered from a brain aneurysm, I haven't used that excuse for a long time.
I do however blame most of my recovery on my computer and this forum for making my brain
work hard at recovery.  :)
(I also thank God every day for allowing me continue to enjoy life!  :) )
Plus a supportive wife that lets you travel a lot.
There is a PLUS, she'll get to go with me on the next trip.
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #109 on: January 15, 2012, 04:10:59 PM »
My Neighbor came over.......



She's single...
 
She lives right across the street.
 
I can see her house from my family room.
 
I watched as she got home from work this evening.
 
I was surprised when she walked across the street and up
my driveway.
 
She knocked on my door...
 
I rushed to open it.
 
She looks at me, and says,
 
“I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time,
get drunk, and make love all night long!
 
Are you busy tonight?”
 
I mmediately replied, “Nope, I'm free... I have no plans at all!”
 


Then she said, “Good!

  In that case, could you watch my dog?"
 
  MAN... IT'S NO FUN GETTING   OLD!!!
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Offline Asyn

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #110 on: January 15, 2012, 04:13:49 PM »
LOL. ;D
Bob, at least you don't run into any troubles with Alice. ;)
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #111 on: January 15, 2012, 04:31:15 PM »
LOL. ;D
Bob, at least you don't run into any troubles with Alice. ;)
Only because she hasn't seen what I posted.... ;D ;D ;D
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Offline Asyn

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #112 on: January 15, 2012, 04:34:53 PM »
LOL. ;D
Bob, at least you don't run into any troubles with Alice. ;)
Only because she hasn't seen what I posted.... ;D ;D ;D

Well, I won't tell her. ;)
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Offline CraigB

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #113 on: January 16, 2012, 08:58:27 PM »
The Centre for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.
This virus is called:
 
 W eary
 O verload
 R ecreational
 K iller
 

If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT.
 This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.
 Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes:
 
 W ork
 I solating
 N eutralizer
 E xtract
 

and
 
 B othersome
 E mployer
 E limination
 R ebooter

 
Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life. Trusting you will do the right thing.

P.S. If you have developed immunity from WINE and BEER, then as a last resort, take:
 
 V iral
 A ntidote for
 C ontagious
 A nxiety
 T axing
 I ncessant
 O verwork
 N eurosis) for 2 weeks.
 

Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #114 on: January 18, 2012, 12:55:19 AM »
I just finished putting this together

My review of Norton



http://youtu.be/5958lSV66qY
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Offline CraigB

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #115 on: January 18, 2012, 05:11:08 PM »
A VERY LOGICAL STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM - - Judged by a dumb teacher ??
 I would have given him 100%, Or at least 90% -
 
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.


And last but not least - - -
 

Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Offline !Donovan

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #116 on: January 21, 2012, 02:48:53 PM »
I would have given him 100%, Or at least 90%
+1

That guy has a logical answer for every question! ;D
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Offline SpeedyPC

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #117 on: January 24, 2012, 02:15:00 PM »
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Online DavidR

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #118 on: January 24, 2012, 03:43:32 PM »
We will prize it from your cold, dead, crispy, hand.
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Offline Pondus

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #119 on: January 25, 2012, 05:29:41 PM »