Author Topic: So funny I had to post  (Read 615694 times)

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Offline mchain

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1710 on: August 23, 2018, 12:36:57 AM »
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Offline CraigB

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1711 on: August 31, 2018, 10:03:25 AM »
Golf Panties....

The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.
'Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?', Ole demanded.
'Well' she said, 'you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.'

The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear..'


Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies.
'Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers Why not?'
She replies, 'I can't afford any on the money you give me.'
Patrick reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear"!

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.
'Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie!  Where ta friggin hell are yer drawers?'  She too explains, 'You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.'

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, 'Well, fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb.... Tidy yerself up a bit.'

Offline CraigB

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1712 on: October 09, 2018, 08:36:03 AM »
The New Chinese Immigrant

Chinese man decides to move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai.

He buys a small piece of land near Mt Isa.

A few days after he moves in a friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go along and welcome the new guy to the region.

He goes next door but on his way up the driveway he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 chickens.

Not wanting to interrupt these 'Chinese customs', he decides to put the welcome on hold for a day.

The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drink it.

Not wanting to interrupt another 'Chinese custom', he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day.

A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door, he sees the Chinese man leading a bull down the driveway, pause, and then put his head next to the bull's bum.

The Aussie bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says “Jeez Mate, what the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to welcome you to the neighbourhood, and see you running around the yard after chickens. The next day you are pissing in a glass, and drinking it, and then today you have your head so close to that bull's bum, it could just about shit on you.”

The Chinese man is very taken back and says “Sorry sir, you no understand, these no Chinese customs I doing, these Australian Customs.”

'What do you mean, mate,” says the Aussie, “those aren't Australian customs.”

”Yes they are, man at travel agent tell me,” replied the Chinese man, He say to become true Australian, I learn chase chicks, drink piss, and listen to bullshit.

Offline Asyn

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1713 on: October 09, 2018, 08:54:12 AM »
LOL ;D
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Offline alanb

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1714 on: October 09, 2018, 02:50:20 PM »
Excellent !  ;D

Offline bob3160

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1715 on: November 19, 2018, 02:48:38 PM »
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1716 on: November 21, 2018, 12:42:18 AM »
Thanksgiving is almost here.
Let's celebrate the holiday with lots of cheer.

Gobble Gobble, don't eat too much turkey. :)
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1717 on: November 27, 2018, 11:13:26 PM »
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1718 on: November 27, 2018, 11:15:50 PM »
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1719 on: December 01, 2018, 06:16:14 PM »

Two guys grow up together but after college one moves to Michigan, the other to Florida.
They agree to meet every ten years in Vero Beach to play golf.

At age 30, they finish their round of golf and go to lunch.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters.”
"Why?"
"Well, you know, they got the broads, with the big racks, and the tight shorts, and the legs ..."
"OK.”
Ten years later at age 40 they meet and play again.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters.
"Why?”
"Well, you know, they got cold beer and the big screen TVs and everybody has a little action on the games."
"OK."
Ten years later at age 50 they meet and play again.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why?”
"The food is pretty good and there is plenty of parking."
"OK." 
At age 60 they meet and play again.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Wings are half price"
“OK"
At age 70 they meet and play again.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why?”
"They have 6 handicapped spaces right by the door."
"OK." 
At age 80 they meet and play again.
"Where you wanna go?”
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"We've never been there before"
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1720 on: December 04, 2018, 02:23:23 PM »
'Tis The Season To Be Jolly
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Offline Pondus

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1721 on: December 07, 2018, 04:17:28 PM »
you can't always get what you want  >>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBPCH-Om7vY&feature=youtu.be



Offline CraigB

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1722 on: December 07, 2018, 04:43:49 PM »
you can't always get what you want  >>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBPCH-Om7vY&feature=youtu.be
I've visited a few of the rainforest rehabilitation parks in Borneo, it's quite amazing how similar they are to us :)

Offline DavidR

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1723 on: December 07, 2018, 04:45:37 PM »
you can't always get what you want  >>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBPCH-Om7vY&feature=youtu.be

Watched that as part of an episode of the Monkey World program on UK TV.
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Offline SpeedyPC

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Re: Was so funny I had to post
« Reply #1724 on: December 09, 2018, 04:41:44 AM »
you can't always get what you want  >>  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBPCH-Om7vY&feature=youtu.be

This monkey seems to enjoy and very relaxing

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