Author Topic: Was so funny I had to post  (Read 558846 times)

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Offline DavidR

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #30 on: October 30, 2011, 12:39:43 PM »
Absolutely the same scenario, some slight word changes here and there and little embellishments.

Quote
Here goes...
Last weekend I spied something at Larry's Pistol and Pawn that tickled my fancy.
....
....
....
here I sat in my recliner, my dog Molly looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not Molly), and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target.  I must admit I thought about zapping Molly for a fraction of a second and thought better of it.  She is such a sweet doggy, after all.
....
....
....
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed.  I'm sitting there alone, Molly looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it daddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?).
 
I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it.
(Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight--always twenty-twenty. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time.  Don't ya hate that?) I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and Holy #$@&*%&%#@!!  I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again.

Same, same ;D
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Offline Pondus

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #31 on: October 30, 2011, 12:43:47 PM »
for those who want to see.... there are some videos on youtube   ;D

just search for jackass and/or tazer    
« Last Edit: October 30, 2011, 12:45:45 PM by Pondus »
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #32 on: October 31, 2011, 05:27:36 PM »
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #33 on: November 01, 2011, 06:10:36 PM »
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #34 on: November 18, 2011, 12:22:49 AM »
A student asked,
'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female,
and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender
('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands
their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate
with other computers is incomprehensible
to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long
term memory for possible later retrieval;
and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one,
you find yourself spending half your paycheck
on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine
('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them,
you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't
think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve
problems, but half the time they ARE the
problem; and


4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize
that if you had waited a little longer,
you could have gotten a better model.
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Offline !Donovan

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #35 on: November 18, 2011, 01:05:10 AM »
@bob3160

Quote
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine
('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them,
you have to turn them on;

Started laughing out loud when I got to this one. ;D
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #36 on: November 18, 2011, 02:13:59 AM »
@bob3160

Quote
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine
('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them,
you have to turn them on;

Started laughing out loud when I got to this one. ;D
Me too but for a different reason..... I was reminiscing as to how long it's been since ......  ;D ;D
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Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #37 on: November 19, 2011, 08:26:28 PM »
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Offline MikeBCda

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #38 on: November 19, 2011, 10:53:39 PM »
OMG Bob, you've had someone spying on me?   :D :D
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Offline SpeedyPC

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #39 on: November 20, 2011, 12:26:07 AM »
OMG Bob, you've had someone spying on me?   :D :D

+2 ;D same old habit on everyday sunday ;)
« Last Edit: November 20, 2011, 12:30:13 AM by SpeedyPC »
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Offline DavidR

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #40 on: November 20, 2011, 01:27:22 AM »
Too damn cold to be sitting around in my socks ;D
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Offline SpeedyPC

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #41 on: November 20, 2011, 04:31:25 AM »
Too damn cold to be sitting around in my socks ;D

DavidR come over to Australia and have a XXXX beer with, and you won't get to cold sitting around in your socks ;) ;D
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Offline True Indian

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #42 on: November 20, 2011, 04:57:14 AM »
Thanks had a laugh my daughter was asking me why i am laughing... ;D

Offline bob3160

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #43 on: November 21, 2011, 09:04:16 PM »
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Offline Asyn

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Re: Off topic but was so funny i had to post
« Reply #44 on: November 21, 2011, 09:11:52 PM »
;D
Good one Bob.
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